Author's Note: Whee. Once again, it didn't turn out anything like I'd originally planned. Lachesis's crush on Eltoshan seems to be the butt of a lot of jokes among FE4 fans...hey, I'm guilty of making fun of it, too. But she's one of my favorite characters, so I just wanted to do something to humanize her little fetish. And this is nothing like what I had in mind, but that's life for you, I guess. If you can't guess on your own, first section is Eltoshan and second is Lachesis. And I don't know if I got the name of Elto's wife right. Meh.
by Iris Amergin
She looked radiant that night. I am tempted to say something else, perhaps along the lines of "even more so than usual," but to do so would imply that I had been paying more attention in those times than I really had.
In all honesty, I had not given her the attention she deserved in a long time.
Oh, I had my excuses--all that time spent off at the military academy in Barhara; the breaks between terms that I opted to spend visiting Sigurd at Chalphy rather than home in Nodion; then our father's death and the responsibilities that fell into my lap overnight--I had more things to worry about than I could count, and something had to be ignored if I was to find time to do everything else...and then the time I spent with Grahnye...
Not that Lachesis ever complained, ever spoke a word against me, ever protested the distance that was slowly but surely developing between us as time wore on.
And then that night came around--the night she came of age, the night she was properly presented to the Agustrian nobility. And I realized that somehow, while I was busy with a thousand other things, my sister had grown up.
That day, I didn't see her before the event itself; even then I was distracted, absent. I came that night expecting to see the same girl I'd seen--and yet not seen--for all those years before.
And instead, I was greeted by a woman.
She had changed so much, and yet not at all. Even as I wondered if that golden-haried goddess could really be the little girl who had chased me through the courtyards, I could see the same light in her eyes. The same love, the same...dare I say it? The same adoration. That look she had given me so long ago, before I really understood what it said; the same look she had surely been giving me for years, even when I was too busy to notice her.
It wasn't right, and yet I couldn't bring myself to say so.
And so I didn't.
But I was not the only one who saw what an elegant woman she had become.
Elliot. I never liked him. Never liked the Highline nobility at all, for that matter; they all seemed to have the same self-important delusions, the same haughty attitude. I doubt I'd win any prizes myself for being humble, but that family had elevated looking down on others to an art form.
And there he was, the supercilious bastard, leering at my sister with the kind of lust that would befit a tavern drunk, perhaps, but never a noble of Agustria.
If he wanted anything from her, he would get it over my dead body.
I told her so, later that night. And I told her plenty of other things besides.
I took her aside and told her that I'd never meant to spend so much time looking in the other direction while she was growing up. I told her that if I had finally realized she was a woman, plenty of other men had besides, but I would take care of her, keep her safe, never give her up to anyone who wasn't worthy of her. I told her not to change too much. I missed that little girl who used to follow me around ten years ago.
And I told her that I loved her, even if I hadn't done a very good job of showing it in those last few years.
Little girl.
Did he realize how much those words hurt?
No, of course not. If he had, he'd never have said them. He never did anything to hurt me; that's one of the reasons--and there are many--that I love him so.
But when he told me not to change, that he missed the little girl...well, that was like a slap in the face.
I didn't miss being young before he said that. When I was young, I wanted to be older. Wanted to grow up, become a woman...hopefully one as elegant, as beautiful, as Grahnye. Maybe then he would notice me.
Eltoshan was all I ever wanted. He took good care of me. He never did anything to hurt me. He was charming and handsome and clever and everything one could possibly hope for in a man.
And yet so dense that he never understood!
That's what I always was to him, I'm sure. Little girl, tagalong, kid sister. It never occured to him that I could ever be more...and I wanted to...dear Narga, I wanted to.
That kind of relationship is strictly forbidden, but I didn't know that back then. I just knew that I would never meet anyone I loved more than my brother. So why should anything else matter?
But for him it was...not me.
Grahnye. She was too perfect for me to ever compete with. She was everything he wanted--everything I could maybe be, but even if I could, it wouldn't matter because he had her already. But I tried anyway. I did everything I could. I learned my ettiquette forwards and backwards and tried to be polite to everyone and made sure to keep a nice figure and everything that ladies are supposed to do.
And I never complained that I didn't see enough of him, because I was sure that she would never do so.
And after all that, after everything I did--for him...
...he told me not to change.
I wanted to scream, to grab him by the shoulders and ask why--why did he miss that little girl, why didn't he understand?
Why didn't he love me as much as I loved him?
But I love him. And so I didn't.
I smiled and nodded and told him not to worry.
And when he was gone, I cried.