A/N: Ooh, this just keeps getting better and better! Bwahaha! This is Cedric and Lupin's chapter!

Emerald_Ice: Two other snogalicious hotties! ^__^

Draco: What about me?

Slytherin_nette: You are so right… *Sigh!* Prof. Lupin and Cedric Diggory…

Draco: Guys?! What about me? *starts to pout*

Emerald_Ice: I'd like to lock them in a closet too… *grins evilly*

Slytherin_nette: *giggles and high fives Emerald_ice*

Draco: Hey!! Stop fucking ignoring me, damn it!

Slytherin_nette: Watch your language, bitch! *growls*

Draco: *eyes start to widen*

Emerald_Ice: *evil smirk and walks over to Draco*

Draco: Hey!! What are you doing with a roll of masking tape?! I—mmph!

Emerald_Ice: *Proceeds to tape up Draco's mouth*

Slytherin_nette: Ah… Silence… ^__~ Enjoy!

Emerald_Ice: Please don't forget to review! ^__^

Draco: Mmmph!!!

Chapter 3- Dirty Diggory and Lupin's Lusty Fan Club (Ooh la la! *wink*)

The next day, Colin couldn't find anything embarrassing enough and was extremely bored. Yawning, he roamed around the corridors and happened to pass by the library. He shrugged.

There's nothing to do anyway, maybe I should start on that five-feet long essay Snape gave us yesterday…Colin thought as he walked through the door.

I can't believe I've been reduced to being in the library when there are mishaps happening all around me… Colin thought grumpily as he slumped down on one chair, resting his chin on his hands.

Just then, he remembered Snape sucking on his thumb behind the book and an idea popped in his head.

Some of these people may not be "reading" behind these books…I wonder…He thought, clapping his hands lightly in excitement.

He snatched his camera from his bag and took a look around the room. In a far corner, he could see Hermione Granger diligently "reading" as usual. As expected, a book called "Hogwarts: a History (The Revised Edition)" was clutched tightly in her hands.

Colin walked behind her and slumped in disappointment when he saw that she actually was reading.

Damn this girl is boring… Probably never done anything stupid in her life…

He yawned again and moved on to look at other students. To his disappointment, all of them were seriously studying or reading. He frowned and started to walk back to his seat when he saw Hufflepuff prefect, Pretty-Boy Cedric Diggory reading a very thick, large book entitled, "The Science of Socks".

Colin wrinkled his nose.

Why would he want to read that? If it was possible, he was even more boring than Hermione… He thought, as he casually looked over his shoulder, obviously not expecting Hogwarts' perfect boy to be doing anything devious behind a book.

To his extreme shock, Cedric "Mr. Nice Guy" Diggory, Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain, just basically perfect, was reading… Gasp!

He couldn't say it!

He couldn't believe his eyes!

A.. *shudder* a PORNOGRAPHIC MAGAZINE! WITH MOVING PICTURES EVEN!

*faint!*

Colin almost fainted for real when he caught sight of Cedric's pants. (Thank God they were loose!)

Through Cedric's robes, he could see what apparently normally happened to hormone-ridden teenage boys whenever they saw a couple of hooters or something that really turned them on.

And… dear God! Was it big! And even worse, Mr. Perfect was actually stroking it with a shaky hand, his breath coming in short, wheezy gasps.

Colin couldn't resist something so… so… CONTROVERSIAL! Dear God! He pressed the shutter with a shaky hand, his own breathing rapid.

Damn, he needed to get some fresh air! Where the hell was the exit when you needed it? The things people do these days! Gasp!!! *Scampers away*

* * * * * *

Colin, who was still visibly shaken by the sight of Cedric Diggory choking his chicken, (A/N: Slytherin_nette: Mwahahah!!! ^__^ Emerald_Ice: *grins* Thanks!) walked towards the bathrooms.

Maybe wash his face, or puke a little. He shuddered, but before he could enter, he heard a couple of giggles from behind him. He turned around.

Not again, he thought. Still, it caught his interest, and he followed the sound.

To his surprise, the giggly girls weren't students. Rather, they were teachers!

Professor Sinistra, hair flying in all directions, was standing next to (A/N: Emerald_Ice: Oh, wow, never expected that!) Professor McGonagall, and they sounded like schoolgirls with a crush.

Colin watched them with narrowed eyes as they waited outside what seemed to be the Professors' bathrooms.

What now?

"Where is he?" Professor Sinistra's voice squealed.

Oh, my GAWD.

"I don't know. Oh, here he is!!!!"

If Colin thought the sight of Professor Sinistra squealing was surprising, this was SHOCKING. McGonagall? Squealing like a little girl? He pondered on taking a picture, but decided it wasn't interesting enough.

At that moment, Professor Lupin walked towards the bathroom, wearing a tiny white towel around his waist, his sandy blond hair tousled. Colin winced as Professor Sinistra and McGonagall squealed again.

Lupin? They were talking about Lupin? Wonder what they have planned for him…

He went inside the bathroom, and since Colin couldn't very well follow him (Honestly!) because he was perfectly straight, he just listened. He went nearer the bathroom, and pressed his ear against the walls. He could hear the shower coming on, and the sound of water. Steam filled against the glass window of the room.

Professor Sinistra giggled. Eewww….

Suddenly, Lupin screamed. It went from a low growl to a high-pitched scream, and Colin's jaw dropped almost to the floor as Lupin ran from the bathroom, buck naked. (A/N: Slytherin_nette: And what a sight we would all have loved to see! ^__~)

Oh. Oh my. Pretty. It wasn't an ugly sight, he thought, but shook his head madly.

He was thinking bad thoughts. Bad, bad thoughts.

The two girl professors laughed again, turning pink in the cheeks. Yuck, Colin thought, but he took the picture anyway.

Slowly, trying not to faint from the two shocking sights he saw that day, he walked towards the Gryffindor Common Rooms.