Harry: *drinks a bottle of Clorox Disinfectant Bleach* Welcome back! Now to begin Episode Four: Revenge of the Sheepthatgotontopofgoatsandbitofftheirhornsfornoapparentreason! To introduce you to the stars, here is a video of a goat and a sheep in an argument.
Ron: Now, some of you might be animal rights defenders so....
Harry: We highly advise you not watch this.
*video starts*
Goat: You suckkkkkk!
Sheep: Sooooooooooooo?
Goat: Your maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama!
Sheep: She's niiiiiiiiiiiice, eh?
Goat: Vvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeery niceeee.
Sheep: Soooooooooooo's your dad!
Goat: *pulls out an impossibly large baseball baaaat*
Sheep: *pulls out tuna sandwich*
Goat: *thwacks Sheep with bat*
Sheep: *thwacks Goat with sandwich*
Goat: *eats sandwich* *cough* *choke* *hack* *die*
Sheep: Mwaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!
Goat: *ressurect* I neverrrrrrrrrrrrr die!
Sheep: *gets on top of Goat and bites off his horns for no apparent reason*
*Harry walks in with a machine gun and blows the hell out of both animals*
Goat: *dies* Iiiiiiiii'm dead now. *falls over and twitches*
Sheep: *doesn't die* *pulls out another sandwich and starts eating*
Harry: *shoves sandwich down Sheep's throat*
Sheep: *dies*
*Harry walks off satisfied*
*end video*
Harry: Yes, I know that had absolutely nothing to do with Hogwarts, but, hey, it was fun. Now for the episode!
Hermione: *walks in wearing nothing but carefully placed duct tape*
Ron: *inspects Hermione*
Harry: *inspects Ron*
Ron: *pokes Hermione* You're a soda machine.
Hermione: No I'm not. *pulls ear* See? I'm not.
*moments later*
Goat: *walks in, reincarnated again*
Sheep: *walks in, reincarnated again*
Ron: Guess who's back. Back again. Sheepthatgotontopofgoatsandbitofftheirhornsfornoapparentreason's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, duh nuh nuh!
Harry: *starts rapping along with Ron*
Hermione: *peels off tape to reveal a rubber body suit*
*they all start dancing around for hours...*
*meanwhile...*
Snape: I love you, Moose!
Moose: And I, you, Snapeyrapeyonacakey!
Snape: *puts in movie*
*the two snuggle up together to watch a porno movie*
*meanwhile, the party's over*
Harry: There's a large lump of dog excretion on that table... where'd it come from?
Ron: Don't look at me.
Hermione: Most likely a dog..
Harry: May I... have it?
Hermione/Ron: Yeah, but save some for us.
*Harry starts molding the poo around in his hands and eyes it hungrily*
*Hagrid walks in, falls over, and an earthquake occurs*
*Hagrid gets up. He sneaks up behind Harry and steals the poo and greedily devours it*
*Harry turns around and bites off Hagrids fingers one by one until he dies of blood loss*
*a random camel wanders onscreen and eats Hagrid's remains, and leaves on a note of "Moo."*
(A/N: don't ask.)
Ron, Harry, and Hermione (simultaneously): Song time!
*Hermione starts humming Complicated's beginning guitar thing in baritone* *whispers* Life's like this
*Ron starts humming it at Soprano* *whispers* thats the way it is
*Harry starts singing*
Chill out! Whatcha yellin for?
Lay back! It's all been done before.
And if
you could only let it be
you will see...
I like
you the way you are
when we're driving in your car
and you're
talkin to me one on one
then you become!...
*harry starts massaging himself sensually as he continues singing*
Narrarator: Ahem.
Harry: *stops* *music goes off and Hermione and Ron stop humming* Hey, have you heard the song "I'm With You"?
Ron: Yeah.
Harry: You know the lyrics, "I don't know who you are, but I, I'm with you"?
Ron: Yeah.
*Harry giggles and nods*
(A/N: Perverted, yes, I know, but, that's how I think.)
Ron: *cracks up* hahahah! Avril L. must be pretty desperate, going home with somebody whose name she didn't even know! Didn't know she was that way...
Narrarator: AHEM!
Ron: Oh, sorry folks, no more dirty discussions or dirty dancing for you. We have run out of money to pay the actors. We will not be able to continue it... unless.. of course... you donate 190.5 million dollars to us! Of course... wait! I don't need to be here! They're not giving me my daily male prostitute anymore! *walks off stage*
*everyone else is gone and the stage lights shatter* *an atom bomb goes off nearby, and everyone dies except one sheep, who happened to be safely sheltered within a porta potty*
Ron: Now, some of you might be animal rights defenders so....
Harry: We highly advise you not watch this.
*video starts*
Goat: You suckkkkkk!
Sheep: Sooooooooooooo?
Goat: Your maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama!
Sheep: She's niiiiiiiiiiiice, eh?
Goat: Vvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeery niceeee.
Sheep: Soooooooooooo's your dad!
Goat: *pulls out an impossibly large baseball baaaat*
Sheep: *pulls out tuna sandwich*
Goat: *thwacks Sheep with bat*
Sheep: *thwacks Goat with sandwich*
Goat: *eats sandwich* *cough* *choke* *hack* *die*
Sheep: Mwaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!
Goat: *ressurect* I neverrrrrrrrrrrrr die!
Sheep: *gets on top of Goat and bites off his horns for no apparent reason*
*Harry walks in with a machine gun and blows the hell out of both animals*
Goat: *dies* Iiiiiiiii'm dead now. *falls over and twitches*
Sheep: *doesn't die* *pulls out another sandwich and starts eating*
Harry: *shoves sandwich down Sheep's throat*
Sheep: *dies*
*Harry walks off satisfied*
*end video*
Harry: Yes, I know that had absolutely nothing to do with Hogwarts, but, hey, it was fun. Now for the episode!
Hermione: *walks in wearing nothing but carefully placed duct tape*
Ron: *inspects Hermione*
Harry: *inspects Ron*
Ron: *pokes Hermione* You're a soda machine.
Hermione: No I'm not. *pulls ear* See? I'm not.
*moments later*
Goat: *walks in, reincarnated again*
Sheep: *walks in, reincarnated again*
Ron: Guess who's back. Back again. Sheepthatgotontopofgoatsandbitofftheirhornsfornoapparentreason's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, duh nuh nuh!
Harry: *starts rapping along with Ron*
Hermione: *peels off tape to reveal a rubber body suit*
*they all start dancing around for hours...*
*meanwhile...*
Snape: I love you, Moose!
Moose: And I, you, Snapeyrapeyonacakey!
Snape: *puts in movie*
*the two snuggle up together to watch a porno movie*
*meanwhile, the party's over*
Harry: There's a large lump of dog excretion on that table... where'd it come from?
Ron: Don't look at me.
Hermione: Most likely a dog..
Harry: May I... have it?
Hermione/Ron: Yeah, but save some for us.
*Harry starts molding the poo around in his hands and eyes it hungrily*
*Hagrid walks in, falls over, and an earthquake occurs*
*Hagrid gets up. He sneaks up behind Harry and steals the poo and greedily devours it*
*Harry turns around and bites off Hagrids fingers one by one until he dies of blood loss*
*a random camel wanders onscreen and eats Hagrid's remains, and leaves on a note of "Moo."*
(A/N: don't ask.)
Ron, Harry, and Hermione (simultaneously): Song time!
*Hermione starts humming Complicated's beginning guitar thing in baritone* *whispers* Life's like this
*Ron starts humming it at Soprano* *whispers* thats the way it is
*Harry starts singing*
Chill out! Whatcha yellin for?
Lay back! It's all been done before.
And if
you could only let it be
you will see...
I like
you the way you are
when we're driving in your car
and you're
talkin to me one on one
then you become!...
*harry starts massaging himself sensually as he continues singing*
Narrarator: Ahem.
Harry: *stops* *music goes off and Hermione and Ron stop humming* Hey, have you heard the song "I'm With You"?
Ron: Yeah.
Harry: You know the lyrics, "I don't know who you are, but I, I'm with you"?
Ron: Yeah.
*Harry giggles and nods*
(A/N: Perverted, yes, I know, but, that's how I think.)
Ron: *cracks up* hahahah! Avril L. must be pretty desperate, going home with somebody whose name she didn't even know! Didn't know she was that way...
Narrarator: AHEM!
Ron: Oh, sorry folks, no more dirty discussions or dirty dancing for you. We have run out of money to pay the actors. We will not be able to continue it... unless.. of course... you donate 190.5 million dollars to us! Of course... wait! I don't need to be here! They're not giving me my daily male prostitute anymore! *walks off stage*
*everyone else is gone and the stage lights shatter* *an atom bomb goes off nearby, and everyone dies except one sheep, who happened to be safely sheltered within a porta potty*