The next day all the pilots awoke early, as usual, except for Duo. Even after the rest of them were showered and dressed and were coming down the stairs, Duo was still snoring softly on the sofa in the living room.
Even when Heero went in there to type up and send a report to the scientists of the discovered research facility, the clone did not wake. Heero smiled slightly and fondly watched the boy curled up in the sleeping bag. He decided that in the report he would only say that they had discovered the research facility. He mentioned nothing of clones. He thought that if the colonies found out about that they would want the technology themselves. Heero didn't think it was the sort of technology to be just handing out. He didn't like the idea of such an inhumane way of producing and training soldiers, which he was certain the equipment would be used for.
Also, deep down, he didn't want the scientists to find out about Duo. They would either have Heero shoot him or keep him on to make up the missing member of their team. Heero wasn't sure that he wanted to do either.
It should have only taken a few minutes to compile the report and send it off, coded and secured. But Heero kept having his attention diverted by the sleeping boy on the sofa. Every small twitch in his sleep, every soft sigh or breath Heero watched with rapture. Duo had always looked heavenly when he slept. All the troubles of the war, of his confused feelings and of his tragic past dropped from him as he slumbered. Heero liked to observe the small time that Duo had that was untroubled.
Heero propped his chin up on his palm with his elbow resting on the desk and for a while just allowed himself to watch the boy slumber. Duo sighed in his sleep and snuggled his face into the pillow. A delicate hand emerged from the sleeping bag and drowsily groped for something. When it didn't seem to find what it wanted it gave up and rested on the pillow beside the angelic face.
Heero wanted to wake up every morning to that sleepy, peaceful face. He wanted to be the thing that Duo's wandering hand had groped for.
Heero shook his head, dispelling such thoughts. He stood up and shut the laptop then made his way resolutely past the sleeping Duo to the door. He did pause momentarily to allow himself the amusement of watching the sleeping boy fumble the end of his long braid of hair into his mouth and suck on it like a baby with his dummy.
Heero allowed himself a small chuckle and slipped out of the room quietly. The rest of the pilots were all in the kitchen nibbling on their meager breakfasts.
Wufei looked up as Heero entered. "Where's Duo?" he asked.
"He's still asleep," Heero stated whilst pouring himself a mug of coffee.
"What?" asked Wufei. "You didn't wake him? We've got a mission to plan."
"Let the boy sleep, Wufei," Quatre said quickly before Heero could respond. "He had a tiring day yesterday."
"Yes, but we need to know where this base is so we can plan our mission," Wufei pointed out, shoveling another spoonful of grapefruit into his mouth.
"The mission can wait," said Heero, looking out the window.
The rest of the pilots fell speechless. They all exchanged concerned glances. Since when did Heero put anything before a mission?
"Heero," Trowa said carefully. "Are you going out again this evening?"
"Of course," said Heero, putting their minds a little at rest. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Heero knew what they were thinking. They were thinking that he was falling in love with the clone. Well, maybe he was. But he wouldn't let anything come of it. It wasn't Duo. He wasn't going to shame Duo and himself by trying to replace him with a clever copy.
Trowa continued to chew on his toast, Quatre his cereal and Wufei his grapefruit and still no one stirred from the living room.
It was only as Quatre was clanking crockery around in the sink when a bedraggled, yawning and half-dressed Duo lumbered his way out of the living room and into the kitchen.
"Morning, Duo," Quatre said brightly. "Sleep well?"
Duo didn't seem to hear him. He slumped into a chair and murmured a word, "Coffee."
Trowa poured him a cup.
"Thanks, man," he said and gulped down a few mouthfuls. A little more awake he peered around at the rest of the people in the kitchen. "God almighty," he mumbled. "What the hell are you all doing up this early?"
"It's almost nine o'clock, Duo," Heero informed him.
"I repeat," Duo said. "What the hell are you all doing up this early?"
"We've got a mission to plan," Trowa said.
"Oh yeah?" asked Duo, gulping down more of the strong coffee.
"We're going to destroy that base that you found." Heero stated.
"Ah," said Duo, standing. "I guess we're gonna need my help. Well, I better go grab a shower or I'll be falling asleep in my coffee."
Duo turned and walked out the door, sleep-tangled braid swaying against his back. When he had finished showering in the tiny bathroom, Duo 'borrowed' a comb of Trowa's and raked it through his wet and tangled hair. With much cursing and whimpering, he finally got the dripping, chestnut mass virtually knot-free and plaited it back. He resented having to still tie his hair back with the OZ captain's underwear elastic, but he had searched everywhere and the pilots had none of his stuff left over from all those months ago. Duo was only slightly hurt but he thought that the pilots had been through something tough and so he decided no to make a deal about it.
"Hey, Heero!" Duo called down the stairs. "I'm just gonna borrow some clothes, ok? Ok."
Without waiting for an answer, Duo rifled through Heero's cupboard for some clothes.
"Spandex, spandex, spandex," Duo muttered in disapproval. "Does the guy have anything else? Ah ha!" Triumphantly, Duo held aloft a pair of faded blue jeans. They were a bit big for Duo, but a better fit than the old captain's clothes. Then he grabbed the only top he could find (surprise, surprise: a green tank top) and pulled it over his head. Bare-foot and with a wet braid bouncing down his back, Duo none the less felt pretty much awake now.
Awake enough to slide down the banister with an excited yell. Once he had picked himself up off the hall floor and checked that that cracking noise he had heard as he had landed was nothing serious, Duo entered the lounge with a flourish. "And he arrives! The crowd's going wild!"
Heero, Trowa, Wufei and Quatre all stared at him blankly.
Duo sighed and dropped himself down on a dusty pouf. All the pilots were gathered around the coffee table with maps, schematics and reports littering the top. Trowa and Quatre were on the couch that Duo had occupied that night, Wufei sat in the chair Duo had forcefully occupied the previous evening and Heero sat on the floor, cross-legged.
Duo shuffled the pouf up to the coffee table. "Ok, so what have we got?"
Quatre detached a piece of paper from the rest and spread it out on top. "This is a map of the immediate area," he explained. "Now, we didn't give you much time to explain last night, but we need to know whereabouts this base is."
Duo frowned in concentration and peered at the map. "No, it was further away than this. It took me over four hours to get here last night, and that wasn't from the base."
Duo rummaged around amongst the maps until he found a larger one. He pointed. "This was the safe house I spent the night in after I escaped," he said. "And, to get there from the base…"
Duo lapsed into thought and examined the map. He traced the roads with his fingers, remembering, as best he could, his journey from the base to the safe house. He finally tapped a patch of parkland on the map. "It was here, I'm certain," he said.
Heero leant forward to examine it. "Private parkland. Hills and trees. Easy place to hide a small research facility."
The others nodded.
"There's one thing I don't get," Duo said. "Why would they be holding me in a research place? The security was a shambles; it was peanuts to escape. I don't understand how they had expected to keep me there."
The other pilots of course all knew the answer to that. The clone was not being held captive there; it had been created there. The security was lax because OZ had not expected the clone to want to escape when he woke up. But the pilots could not explain that to Duo.
"We don't know," said Wufei casually. "Maybe they thought you'd be too weak to escape."
Duo snorted and was about to start bragging when Trowa brought them back to the subject.
"It's quite a distance form here," he observed.
Heero looked up. "Well, in the Gundams it should only take…is that my shirt?"
"You said I could borrow it!" Duo said defensively.
"I said nothing of the sort," Heero said darkly.
"Aw, c'mon Hee-chan," Duo pouted. "I don't wanna wear that smelly OZ uniform again today. It makes me look like a fat old guy. Plus, I think I kinda suit green and skimpy." Duo grinned and spread his arms twirling at the waist to display his costume.
"Don't gib the gear!" Heero warned him. He sighed. "You're doing my washing for the rest of the week then."
"Aw, man! But - "
"No buts," Heero said flatly. "And those are my jeans as well!"
Trowa jumped in before there was bloodshed. "Ok, ok. Now, I think that we are gonna have to do a bit of work on the Gundams today."
"Yeah," Quatre agreed. "After last night and with this mission, we're gonna have to spend most of today…"
Duo sulked and they continued to plan their mission. Washing, for a whole week! Man, Heero was a sadistic type when he wanted to be.
"We should go tonight," Quatre said. "In case they've started to build another…" he stopped suddenly and blushed before he could say 'clone'. The others looked at him warily.
"What?" Duo asked. "Build what?"
"Defenses," Heero put in bluntly, examining a schematic. "They will probably expect our attack and might try to get in some reinforcements or build up some defenses."
"Oh," said Duo, frowning slightly. Heero had been a little too quick to reply for Quatre. "Ok."
Quatre threw an apologetic glance at Heero when Duo wasn't looking. Heero ignored it and they carried on working.
Duo was feeling a bit left out. He had been sad to discover that Deathscythe was gone. Therefore he couldn't take part in the mission. He didn't really have much more to contribute to the planning other than the occasional information on the facility, the little he had of it.
He soon got bored and went to get a snack. He rummaged around in the boxes but found nothing that appealed to him. "Ok, who let Quatre do the shopping again?" he called out accusingly. No one answered him.
He grabbed a random jacket and pulled on a pair of grubby trainers that were resting by the front door. He frowned in distaste to see what looked like bloodstains on the trainers. He dismissed that and walked back to the living room. "I'm going out for snacks," he announced.
Heero immediately stood. "I'll go with you, OZ might be looking for you."
"No," said Wufei, giving Heero a warning look. Heero had been too eager. "I'll go. You need to stay here and use your laptop to try and pull the files out of OZ's system."
Heero and Wufei glared at each other for a time. Trowa and Quatre looked on, holding their breath whilst Duo looked on, confused.
"Guys, it's no big deal," Duo said. "I'm just going to town for some snacks." No one was listening.
Heero ground his teeth. "I have not forgotten, Wufei," he said, stabbing out the words.
"I never said you had," Wufei replied. He pointedly stood from his chair and walked over to Duo. "C'mon, Maxwell," he said. "Let's go."
Duo nodded, thinking it best to hold his tongue, for once. Until he got to the front door, that is. "Hey, Trow-man? Mind if we borrow your bike?"
"You touch that bike, Duo," Trowa warned from the living room. "And you die."
"Ok, ok," Duo said. "Anything you say, buddy. C'mon Wuffie, I'm starving!"
"It's Wu-fei," Wufei snarled.
The three pilots in the living room heard the front door open and close. A short time later, there was the harsh, grating sound of a motorbike starting up.
"Duo!" Trowa rushed to the window just in time to see a plume of dust kicked up by the speeding motorbike and hear a gleeful "Yeee-ha!" from the braided boy as they raced off down the dusty road on Trowa's bike. "I'll kill him," Trowa said dangerously. "I'll strangle him with his own goddamn hair, so help me I will!"
Quatre stifled a giggle. But the smile fell from his face as he looked at Heero. His fists were clenched and he looked like he might go into the omae o koroso routine at any moment.
"Heero?" he asked carefully.
Heero glared at him. "Who does Wufei think he is? What is he afraid that I'll do?"
Quatre gulped. "Heero, he was just trying to look out for you. We all know how close you were to Duo…"
"Do you?" Heero bit out the words.
Trowa glared at Heero as he settled down next to Quatre. "Heero, you may not like to hear this, but it is for you we are saying it. And you know it…"
Trowa and Heero engaged in a battle of death glares. It was a fascinating thing to behold and there were several doubtful moments in the battle but eventually Trowa won, because Heero knew he was right. Heero stared at the floor as if it had done him personal wrong.
"Heero, we all know that your strength of will is iron-clad," Quatre continued. "But now you know what love does. It completely screws up the way you think. It'll break your barriers, Heero."
Heero looked up at the pair on the sofa who were just trying to help him. But it pained Heero to know that he did have this weakness in his will.
"You really think that I'm gonna fall for the clone when you know how strongly I felt for Duo?"
Trowa and Quatre looked at each other. "Heero, he is Duo."
"He is not!"
"Then why were you so ready to jump up and go with him to town?" asked Trowa accusingly. "And don't give me any bullshit about OZ. He will have covered his tracks perfectly, there is no way they could have found him this quickly."
Heero sat frozen, anger boiled in his eyes.
"Heero, we're only trying to help you," Quatre said, leaning forward to command Heero's entire attention. "It would be lovely to see you happy again and I'm sure that if you let yourself you could be happy with Duo's clone. It would certainly make him happy and if that is what you want then I certainly won't stand in your way…"
Heero sat in silence and listened. It never ceased to amaze him how well his fellow pilots knew him.
"I'm just thinking about you. If I could bring myself to do so, I'd clam up about this and let you fall again for Duo. It would be lovely for all of us…" Quatre took a breath and thought hard about his next words. "But, I think, you need to think through what you want. You wouldn't notice any difference between him and the original Duo. He'd be exactly the same in all respects so you wouldn't be missing anything that would have happened with our Duo. But, what's best for you Heero?"
Heero just stared at him. Trowa was listening and stayed respectfully silent.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, will you ever be able to enjoy your relationship with him? Will you ever allow yourself to be happy when you know that he is not the original? You may decide that, yes, you could be happy. It would be just like moving on, not necessarily getting over Duo's death, but learning to cope with it enough so that you can find happiness with someone else. But, he is not someone else…" Quatre paused again. "You may always suspect that you had fallen for him because he is Duo. I think you may never be able give what either you or he deserves to the relationship because you may always suspect that you had gone to him to forget Duo had died – "
"I would never do that!" Heero said strongly.
"I doubt you would," Quatre, said unperturbed. "You would go to him because you have moved on and he just happens to have all the same things that made you fall in love with the first Duo, but would you ever completely convince yourself of that?"
Heero understood. Falling in love with the clone would be exactly the same as falling in love with Duo all over again. Heero wouldn't be going on to someone else. He would be going back to Duo, carpe diem, this time doing what he had not done before to get what they both wanted. But would he ever be able to forgive himself? Would he ever be able to believe that he did not do it to replace something he had lost?
"This is not fair," Heero said quietly.
"But if you can convince yourself of the truth," Quatre said. "If you can believe whole-heartedly that you are not betraying the original Duo, which you would not be doing, in my opinion, then I think you should consider doing what you can do to be happy and to make him happy."
Heero looked at him, confused. "Then why did you stop me going with him?"
"Because we knew you had to think about this side of it first," Trowa said. "If you had rushed in the way you were doing, then you would be doing it for the very reasons you fear. We're just trying to save you pain Heero, stop the self-torment before it begins. And it would begin Heero, if you went to him not completely sure of yourself. If you weren't completely sure that you hadn't gone to him to replace Duo in you life…"
There was a moment of silence as Heero thought about this.
"You're strong, Heero," said Quatre. "With time you would be able to cope with this. But we don't even know whether we can keep him with us yet."
"We haven't even decided that we are going to let him live," Trowa said darkly.
"And when he finds out," Quatre reminded them. "Which he is bound to do eventually, what happens then?"
Heero saw the blonde boy's point. Who knew what impact that would have on Duo to find out he was a clone? And if Heero went ahead and started the relationship he was desperate to have, what would Duo think after he had discovered the truth? He would think that Heero had used him as an aid to ease heartbreak, the very thing Heero was afraid of doing. Duo would feel betrayed and used. Did Heero want to risk that inevitable and painful experience merely so he could 'move on' as Quatre put it?
"I would never try to replace Duo," Heero said with conviction. "Nothing could ever bring back what I have lost. I will love him forever. If I did love his clone it would not be to replace him. It would be like loving Duo all over again and I imagine that I would care as deeply for him as I did for Duo because he is a reincarnation of what I fell in love with. But I would never forget that he is a copy and the person I did first fall in love with is dead." Heero almost believed his own words. But he still feared what Quatre had pointed out. If he did get together with Duo's clone, the eternal question would be going around in his head the entire time: Have I betrayed the person I love?
However, at his speech, Trowa and Quatre looked at him in admiration. They nodded, satisfied Heero had seen their point. Heero could continue on his own now and they would not interfere. They knew that Heero understood the risks that were landed on him and they also knew that Heero would cope with them in the ways only he could. They could not tell him what to do with his heart.
They continued to plan their mission.
TBC real soon
Even when Heero went in there to type up and send a report to the scientists of the discovered research facility, the clone did not wake. Heero smiled slightly and fondly watched the boy curled up in the sleeping bag. He decided that in the report he would only say that they had discovered the research facility. He mentioned nothing of clones. He thought that if the colonies found out about that they would want the technology themselves. Heero didn't think it was the sort of technology to be just handing out. He didn't like the idea of such an inhumane way of producing and training soldiers, which he was certain the equipment would be used for.
Also, deep down, he didn't want the scientists to find out about Duo. They would either have Heero shoot him or keep him on to make up the missing member of their team. Heero wasn't sure that he wanted to do either.
It should have only taken a few minutes to compile the report and send it off, coded and secured. But Heero kept having his attention diverted by the sleeping boy on the sofa. Every small twitch in his sleep, every soft sigh or breath Heero watched with rapture. Duo had always looked heavenly when he slept. All the troubles of the war, of his confused feelings and of his tragic past dropped from him as he slumbered. Heero liked to observe the small time that Duo had that was untroubled.
Heero propped his chin up on his palm with his elbow resting on the desk and for a while just allowed himself to watch the boy slumber. Duo sighed in his sleep and snuggled his face into the pillow. A delicate hand emerged from the sleeping bag and drowsily groped for something. When it didn't seem to find what it wanted it gave up and rested on the pillow beside the angelic face.
Heero wanted to wake up every morning to that sleepy, peaceful face. He wanted to be the thing that Duo's wandering hand had groped for.
Heero shook his head, dispelling such thoughts. He stood up and shut the laptop then made his way resolutely past the sleeping Duo to the door. He did pause momentarily to allow himself the amusement of watching the sleeping boy fumble the end of his long braid of hair into his mouth and suck on it like a baby with his dummy.
Heero allowed himself a small chuckle and slipped out of the room quietly. The rest of the pilots were all in the kitchen nibbling on their meager breakfasts.
Wufei looked up as Heero entered. "Where's Duo?" he asked.
"He's still asleep," Heero stated whilst pouring himself a mug of coffee.
"What?" asked Wufei. "You didn't wake him? We've got a mission to plan."
"Let the boy sleep, Wufei," Quatre said quickly before Heero could respond. "He had a tiring day yesterday."
"Yes, but we need to know where this base is so we can plan our mission," Wufei pointed out, shoveling another spoonful of grapefruit into his mouth.
"The mission can wait," said Heero, looking out the window.
The rest of the pilots fell speechless. They all exchanged concerned glances. Since when did Heero put anything before a mission?
"Heero," Trowa said carefully. "Are you going out again this evening?"
"Of course," said Heero, putting their minds a little at rest. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Heero knew what they were thinking. They were thinking that he was falling in love with the clone. Well, maybe he was. But he wouldn't let anything come of it. It wasn't Duo. He wasn't going to shame Duo and himself by trying to replace him with a clever copy.
Trowa continued to chew on his toast, Quatre his cereal and Wufei his grapefruit and still no one stirred from the living room.
It was only as Quatre was clanking crockery around in the sink when a bedraggled, yawning and half-dressed Duo lumbered his way out of the living room and into the kitchen.
"Morning, Duo," Quatre said brightly. "Sleep well?"
Duo didn't seem to hear him. He slumped into a chair and murmured a word, "Coffee."
Trowa poured him a cup.
"Thanks, man," he said and gulped down a few mouthfuls. A little more awake he peered around at the rest of the people in the kitchen. "God almighty," he mumbled. "What the hell are you all doing up this early?"
"It's almost nine o'clock, Duo," Heero informed him.
"I repeat," Duo said. "What the hell are you all doing up this early?"
"We've got a mission to plan," Trowa said.
"Oh yeah?" asked Duo, gulping down more of the strong coffee.
"We're going to destroy that base that you found." Heero stated.
"Ah," said Duo, standing. "I guess we're gonna need my help. Well, I better go grab a shower or I'll be falling asleep in my coffee."
Duo turned and walked out the door, sleep-tangled braid swaying against his back. When he had finished showering in the tiny bathroom, Duo 'borrowed' a comb of Trowa's and raked it through his wet and tangled hair. With much cursing and whimpering, he finally got the dripping, chestnut mass virtually knot-free and plaited it back. He resented having to still tie his hair back with the OZ captain's underwear elastic, but he had searched everywhere and the pilots had none of his stuff left over from all those months ago. Duo was only slightly hurt but he thought that the pilots had been through something tough and so he decided no to make a deal about it.
"Hey, Heero!" Duo called down the stairs. "I'm just gonna borrow some clothes, ok? Ok."
Without waiting for an answer, Duo rifled through Heero's cupboard for some clothes.
"Spandex, spandex, spandex," Duo muttered in disapproval. "Does the guy have anything else? Ah ha!" Triumphantly, Duo held aloft a pair of faded blue jeans. They were a bit big for Duo, but a better fit than the old captain's clothes. Then he grabbed the only top he could find (surprise, surprise: a green tank top) and pulled it over his head. Bare-foot and with a wet braid bouncing down his back, Duo none the less felt pretty much awake now.
Awake enough to slide down the banister with an excited yell. Once he had picked himself up off the hall floor and checked that that cracking noise he had heard as he had landed was nothing serious, Duo entered the lounge with a flourish. "And he arrives! The crowd's going wild!"
Heero, Trowa, Wufei and Quatre all stared at him blankly.
Duo sighed and dropped himself down on a dusty pouf. All the pilots were gathered around the coffee table with maps, schematics and reports littering the top. Trowa and Quatre were on the couch that Duo had occupied that night, Wufei sat in the chair Duo had forcefully occupied the previous evening and Heero sat on the floor, cross-legged.
Duo shuffled the pouf up to the coffee table. "Ok, so what have we got?"
Quatre detached a piece of paper from the rest and spread it out on top. "This is a map of the immediate area," he explained. "Now, we didn't give you much time to explain last night, but we need to know whereabouts this base is."
Duo frowned in concentration and peered at the map. "No, it was further away than this. It took me over four hours to get here last night, and that wasn't from the base."
Duo rummaged around amongst the maps until he found a larger one. He pointed. "This was the safe house I spent the night in after I escaped," he said. "And, to get there from the base…"
Duo lapsed into thought and examined the map. He traced the roads with his fingers, remembering, as best he could, his journey from the base to the safe house. He finally tapped a patch of parkland on the map. "It was here, I'm certain," he said.
Heero leant forward to examine it. "Private parkland. Hills and trees. Easy place to hide a small research facility."
The others nodded.
"There's one thing I don't get," Duo said. "Why would they be holding me in a research place? The security was a shambles; it was peanuts to escape. I don't understand how they had expected to keep me there."
The other pilots of course all knew the answer to that. The clone was not being held captive there; it had been created there. The security was lax because OZ had not expected the clone to want to escape when he woke up. But the pilots could not explain that to Duo.
"We don't know," said Wufei casually. "Maybe they thought you'd be too weak to escape."
Duo snorted and was about to start bragging when Trowa brought them back to the subject.
"It's quite a distance form here," he observed.
Heero looked up. "Well, in the Gundams it should only take…is that my shirt?"
"You said I could borrow it!" Duo said defensively.
"I said nothing of the sort," Heero said darkly.
"Aw, c'mon Hee-chan," Duo pouted. "I don't wanna wear that smelly OZ uniform again today. It makes me look like a fat old guy. Plus, I think I kinda suit green and skimpy." Duo grinned and spread his arms twirling at the waist to display his costume.
"Don't gib the gear!" Heero warned him. He sighed. "You're doing my washing for the rest of the week then."
"Aw, man! But - "
"No buts," Heero said flatly. "And those are my jeans as well!"
Trowa jumped in before there was bloodshed. "Ok, ok. Now, I think that we are gonna have to do a bit of work on the Gundams today."
"Yeah," Quatre agreed. "After last night and with this mission, we're gonna have to spend most of today…"
Duo sulked and they continued to plan their mission. Washing, for a whole week! Man, Heero was a sadistic type when he wanted to be.
"We should go tonight," Quatre said. "In case they've started to build another…" he stopped suddenly and blushed before he could say 'clone'. The others looked at him warily.
"What?" Duo asked. "Build what?"
"Defenses," Heero put in bluntly, examining a schematic. "They will probably expect our attack and might try to get in some reinforcements or build up some defenses."
"Oh," said Duo, frowning slightly. Heero had been a little too quick to reply for Quatre. "Ok."
Quatre threw an apologetic glance at Heero when Duo wasn't looking. Heero ignored it and they carried on working.
Duo was feeling a bit left out. He had been sad to discover that Deathscythe was gone. Therefore he couldn't take part in the mission. He didn't really have much more to contribute to the planning other than the occasional information on the facility, the little he had of it.
He soon got bored and went to get a snack. He rummaged around in the boxes but found nothing that appealed to him. "Ok, who let Quatre do the shopping again?" he called out accusingly. No one answered him.
He grabbed a random jacket and pulled on a pair of grubby trainers that were resting by the front door. He frowned in distaste to see what looked like bloodstains on the trainers. He dismissed that and walked back to the living room. "I'm going out for snacks," he announced.
Heero immediately stood. "I'll go with you, OZ might be looking for you."
"No," said Wufei, giving Heero a warning look. Heero had been too eager. "I'll go. You need to stay here and use your laptop to try and pull the files out of OZ's system."
Heero and Wufei glared at each other for a time. Trowa and Quatre looked on, holding their breath whilst Duo looked on, confused.
"Guys, it's no big deal," Duo said. "I'm just going to town for some snacks." No one was listening.
Heero ground his teeth. "I have not forgotten, Wufei," he said, stabbing out the words.
"I never said you had," Wufei replied. He pointedly stood from his chair and walked over to Duo. "C'mon, Maxwell," he said. "Let's go."
Duo nodded, thinking it best to hold his tongue, for once. Until he got to the front door, that is. "Hey, Trow-man? Mind if we borrow your bike?"
"You touch that bike, Duo," Trowa warned from the living room. "And you die."
"Ok, ok," Duo said. "Anything you say, buddy. C'mon Wuffie, I'm starving!"
"It's Wu-fei," Wufei snarled.
The three pilots in the living room heard the front door open and close. A short time later, there was the harsh, grating sound of a motorbike starting up.
"Duo!" Trowa rushed to the window just in time to see a plume of dust kicked up by the speeding motorbike and hear a gleeful "Yeee-ha!" from the braided boy as they raced off down the dusty road on Trowa's bike. "I'll kill him," Trowa said dangerously. "I'll strangle him with his own goddamn hair, so help me I will!"
Quatre stifled a giggle. But the smile fell from his face as he looked at Heero. His fists were clenched and he looked like he might go into the omae o koroso routine at any moment.
"Heero?" he asked carefully.
Heero glared at him. "Who does Wufei think he is? What is he afraid that I'll do?"
Quatre gulped. "Heero, he was just trying to look out for you. We all know how close you were to Duo…"
"Do you?" Heero bit out the words.
Trowa glared at Heero as he settled down next to Quatre. "Heero, you may not like to hear this, but it is for you we are saying it. And you know it…"
Trowa and Heero engaged in a battle of death glares. It was a fascinating thing to behold and there were several doubtful moments in the battle but eventually Trowa won, because Heero knew he was right. Heero stared at the floor as if it had done him personal wrong.
"Heero, we all know that your strength of will is iron-clad," Quatre continued. "But now you know what love does. It completely screws up the way you think. It'll break your barriers, Heero."
Heero looked up at the pair on the sofa who were just trying to help him. But it pained Heero to know that he did have this weakness in his will.
"You really think that I'm gonna fall for the clone when you know how strongly I felt for Duo?"
Trowa and Quatre looked at each other. "Heero, he is Duo."
"He is not!"
"Then why were you so ready to jump up and go with him to town?" asked Trowa accusingly. "And don't give me any bullshit about OZ. He will have covered his tracks perfectly, there is no way they could have found him this quickly."
Heero sat frozen, anger boiled in his eyes.
"Heero, we're only trying to help you," Quatre said, leaning forward to command Heero's entire attention. "It would be lovely to see you happy again and I'm sure that if you let yourself you could be happy with Duo's clone. It would certainly make him happy and if that is what you want then I certainly won't stand in your way…"
Heero sat in silence and listened. It never ceased to amaze him how well his fellow pilots knew him.
"I'm just thinking about you. If I could bring myself to do so, I'd clam up about this and let you fall again for Duo. It would be lovely for all of us…" Quatre took a breath and thought hard about his next words. "But, I think, you need to think through what you want. You wouldn't notice any difference between him and the original Duo. He'd be exactly the same in all respects so you wouldn't be missing anything that would have happened with our Duo. But, what's best for you Heero?"
Heero just stared at him. Trowa was listening and stayed respectfully silent.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, will you ever be able to enjoy your relationship with him? Will you ever allow yourself to be happy when you know that he is not the original? You may decide that, yes, you could be happy. It would be just like moving on, not necessarily getting over Duo's death, but learning to cope with it enough so that you can find happiness with someone else. But, he is not someone else…" Quatre paused again. "You may always suspect that you had fallen for him because he is Duo. I think you may never be able give what either you or he deserves to the relationship because you may always suspect that you had gone to him to forget Duo had died – "
"I would never do that!" Heero said strongly.
"I doubt you would," Quatre, said unperturbed. "You would go to him because you have moved on and he just happens to have all the same things that made you fall in love with the first Duo, but would you ever completely convince yourself of that?"
Heero understood. Falling in love with the clone would be exactly the same as falling in love with Duo all over again. Heero wouldn't be going on to someone else. He would be going back to Duo, carpe diem, this time doing what he had not done before to get what they both wanted. But would he ever be able to forgive himself? Would he ever be able to believe that he did not do it to replace something he had lost?
"This is not fair," Heero said quietly.
"But if you can convince yourself of the truth," Quatre said. "If you can believe whole-heartedly that you are not betraying the original Duo, which you would not be doing, in my opinion, then I think you should consider doing what you can do to be happy and to make him happy."
Heero looked at him, confused. "Then why did you stop me going with him?"
"Because we knew you had to think about this side of it first," Trowa said. "If you had rushed in the way you were doing, then you would be doing it for the very reasons you fear. We're just trying to save you pain Heero, stop the self-torment before it begins. And it would begin Heero, if you went to him not completely sure of yourself. If you weren't completely sure that you hadn't gone to him to replace Duo in you life…"
There was a moment of silence as Heero thought about this.
"You're strong, Heero," said Quatre. "With time you would be able to cope with this. But we don't even know whether we can keep him with us yet."
"We haven't even decided that we are going to let him live," Trowa said darkly.
"And when he finds out," Quatre reminded them. "Which he is bound to do eventually, what happens then?"
Heero saw the blonde boy's point. Who knew what impact that would have on Duo to find out he was a clone? And if Heero went ahead and started the relationship he was desperate to have, what would Duo think after he had discovered the truth? He would think that Heero had used him as an aid to ease heartbreak, the very thing Heero was afraid of doing. Duo would feel betrayed and used. Did Heero want to risk that inevitable and painful experience merely so he could 'move on' as Quatre put it?
"I would never try to replace Duo," Heero said with conviction. "Nothing could ever bring back what I have lost. I will love him forever. If I did love his clone it would not be to replace him. It would be like loving Duo all over again and I imagine that I would care as deeply for him as I did for Duo because he is a reincarnation of what I fell in love with. But I would never forget that he is a copy and the person I did first fall in love with is dead." Heero almost believed his own words. But he still feared what Quatre had pointed out. If he did get together with Duo's clone, the eternal question would be going around in his head the entire time: Have I betrayed the person I love?
However, at his speech, Trowa and Quatre looked at him in admiration. They nodded, satisfied Heero had seen their point. Heero could continue on his own now and they would not interfere. They knew that Heero understood the risks that were landed on him and they also knew that Heero would cope with them in the ways only he could. They could not tell him what to do with his heart.
They continued to plan their mission.
TBC real soon