Wufei made a mental note not to ever go shopping with Duo Maxwell again, especially when said braided pilot drove them there on a motorbike. It took the poor Chinese boy a full ten minutes of recuperation before he could finally peel himself off the motorbike seat and prize his clenched hands off the back of Duo's shirt.
And of course, Duo Maxwell, despite being a clone, could not just simply choose some snacks, pay and then go. Oh no. He pondered different brands, loudly compared different fillings and flavors whilst all the time cracking jokes about the product names. And of course, once Wufei had finally convinced him with a shaking fist to just choose some and go, Duo decided it would be a good time to get some new clothes.
"I mean, I'm out on a limb already wearing Hee-chan's clothes today," Duo reasoned. "If I have to wear his clothes for much more time he's gonna feel the urge to commit genocide."
Wufei decided not to mention that he was also getting that urge. And so, it was another grueling half an hour until Duo had decided on some plain black shirts and jeans. Wufei soon gave up trying to decide why it had taken Duo so long to decide on the simplest items in the store.
Wufei left Duo to pay and staggered outside, needing fresh air and space. He leaned against a newspaper stall and waited for Duo.
Duo emerged soon after in his new clothes and with a shopping bag. He was just opening his mouth to greet Wufei far louder than was necessary when the opposite side of the small street erupted with gunfire.
Wufei was just diving for cover behind the newspaper stand when he felt fire course up his leg. He landed on the pavement behind the relative safety of the newspaper stall and cringed in pain. Duo was close behind.
"Wu-man, are you hit?" but Duo's words were drowned out as another eruption of gunfire shattered the wooden back of the stall above their heads. The stall's owner decided to abandon his magazines to their fate and fled.
Duo scooted over to the edge and pulled a gun from somewhere. Wufei tried to ignore the fiery pain in his leg as he readied his own weapon. There were almost a dozen armed men across the street, all dressed as civilians. OZ. They had all taken up strategic positions and were shooting angrily, furious that their prey had taken cover. The two boys carefully fired around the edges of the newspaper stand. The gunshots tore the air apart with noise and flying bullets and splinters from the newspaper stall. Wufei and Duo between them had managed to pick off five of the attackers before their ammo ran low.
Duo cursed and ducked back behind their cover. And empty magazine clattered to the floor beside him. He looked at Wufei with concern. His right calf was bleeding badly, though he didn't seem to notice it. His oriental face was contorted with steely determination as he fired his depleting supply of ammunition at their assailants. But he wasn't going to be able to run away.
Duo scooted over to Wufei. "Listen, pal," Duo shouted to be heard over the gunfire. "Stay right here, don't move. I'll be back in a second."
Wufei nodded but did not take his eyes off his work.
Duo ran down the ally behind the newspaper stall, ducking low so that their assailants would not notice him fleeing. He vaulted a wall at the end and found himself in another street. After taking a moment to get his bearings and notice the screeching of sirens in the distance, Duo burst into a sprint. His braid flew out behind him as he ran, knowing Wufei's life was at stake. He leapt up onto the roof of a moving car, much to the driver's consternation and proceeded to nimbly jump from one to another until he was on the other side. He skidded around a corner, knocking over a woman with a basket. Jumping over her recumbent form he sprinted furiously down the street and screeched to a halt when he drew up next to the bike parked by the side of the road.
He leapt on and the engine roared to life with his angry twist of the keys. With a smell of burning rubber he wheeled the great steel machine around and accelerated off through the traffic.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Wufei had only been left on his own a few minutes when he knew he was down to his last three bullets. The assailants seemed like they could go on forever. The pain in his leg had started to make his head throb and it was making him dizzy. He clenched his jaw and held firm. Peering around the edge of the now shattered newspaper stand he fired off his last remaining bullets. He heard a satisfactory yelp. And an even more satisfactory screech of stressed tires.
Wufei looked down the street and Duo was hurtling towards them at breakneck speed on Trowa's motorcycle. The firing stopped for one startled moment. Duo crashed into the remains of the newspaper stand, sending fragments of wood and paper flying. Wufei used all his strength to ignore the pain and hauled himself onto the back seat of the motorbike with the aid of Duo's outstretched arm.
Bullets fired wildly about their heads as the motorbike screamed away.
"Wufei, hang on tight, man," Duo shouted. Wufei just managed to oblige. Duo performed a serious of bone-jarring and sickening twists and turns about the streets of the town, leaving total havoc in his wake. He soon twisted their journey enough to make sure he had lost any followers and turned out onto the highway that led out of town.
Duo chewed at his lip as he felt Wufei's grip on him weaken. He must have lost a lot of blood. If they stopped now he would lose more. With one hand he grabbed one of the Chinese boy's arms and wrapped it tightly around his waist and held it there to make sure Wufei did not fall. One- handed he steered the motorbike down the highway. He pushed the bike into accelerating even more. He had to get his injured friend back quickly.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
It was just as the three pilots were clearing away the paperwork of their mission having completed the planning, when they heard a terrific screeching of brakes and a grating sound of gravel being flung up before protesting tires.
"My bike!" Trowa cried mournfully. "What the hell has Maxwell done to it?"
Then they looked up to the sound of the front door being opened roughly and followed shortly by the sound of heavy breathing and lumbering steps. Quatre, Trowa and Heero exchanged a single glance and rushed out into the hall.
Wufei was limping badly and had one arm slung over Duo's shoulders. They were both filthy with dust and Wufei's leg was wet and sticky with blood.
"By Allah," Quatre cried. "What happened!"
Trowa and Heero moved forward to relieve Duo of his burden and help Wufei into the lounge.
"Just outside the store," an exhausted and traumatized-looking Duo started to explain, "I was just coming out – "
"Go and get the first aid kit from upstairs, Duo," Heero said firmly, helping Trowa to ease Wufei down on the sofa. He was pale but his breathing was ok and his eyes were focussed.
"But I gotta tell you – "
"Now!" said Heero sternly.
Duo just looked hurt for a moment but then rushed upstairs to find the kit. As soon as he was gone, they looked at Wufei. Quatre handed him some water and Heero gently folded up his trousers to expose his injured calf.
"It was OZ," said Wufei, confirming their suspicions. "It was definitely them. But it was odd…" Wufei paused to drink the water and cringe in pain for a moment. "I was in full view of them for ages. They only started firing when Duo came out…"
They looked at each other with concern.
"They were after Duo?" Heero asked quietly.
Wufei nodded. "Duo dived with me behind a stall when it started. But they could have got either of us in the head with a single shot as soon as he emerged. They aimed at Duo and aimed low – " Wufei frowned, " – as you can see."
"They were only looking to maim," said Trowa. "And they did not recognise you, Wufei, so they must be local troops."
"Troops from the research facility looking to recapture Duo," Heero said needlessly. He examined Wufei's wound. It wasn't too deep; the bullet had just nicked the flesh. It was bleeding still but all it needed was some cleaning and some fresh bandages to keep out infection. "It's not too bad, Wufei."
"Could have fooled me," Wufei growled, wincing as Heero poked at his leg.
"Hang on," Quatre suddenly gave voice. "How were they able to find him so quickly?"
Their conversation was halted as they heard the drawn-out squeak and then a loud bump of someone sliding down a banister. Duo presently entered the room, rubbing his backside and brandishing the first aid kit.
"How you doin' Wuffie?" Duo asked. Heero found himself momentarily mesmerized by the beauty of Duo's face that could not be tarnished by all the dirt or worry that was etched onto it.
"I'll live," Wufei grumbled.
Trowa took the first aid kit and soon the wound was clean and bandaged. They had all managed between them to cook up an evasive explanation to satisfy Duo. He didn't look totally convinced however.
Trowa sat down at Heero's laptop and Quatre and Heero came to sit close to him so their conversation wouldn't be overheard by Duo, who was diligently helping Wufei get comfortable.
"We'll need to find somewhere else," Trowa said. "If they tracked him down to this area they will probably be able to find us quickly."
"Is there anywhere near?" asked Quatre.
Trowa's fingers clicked at the keys. He shook his head. "The only place anywhere near is one hundred miles to the north."
"That's not good enough," Heero said. "We need somewhere closer, just for tonight, until we've blown up that place. Is there anything else at all?"
Trowa searched a little more. "Well," said Trowa carefully. "There is somewhere a bit closer, forty miles south-east in the middle of the forest. A converted bomb shelter with a large hanger hollowed out in the cave below the forest floor. Perfect for storing the Gundams. But…" Trowa looked at them both. "It hasn't been used in about twenty years. I doubt there will be any heating or electricity. And it's unstable. The cave has already partially collapsed."
Quatre frowned.
"Well, it'll have to do for tonight. This mission must be completed tonight." Heero said in his no-one-argues-or-you'll-regret-it tone.
No one argued.
It took them a while to move over to the dilapidated safe 'cave'. The entrance was in a cliff face that was covered in trees and vines. It took them some while to find the control to open the huge door and then stash their Gundams inside. They could see rubble on the floor and it was true that the ceiling looked like it might fall at any moment. But Heero had used his tone and no one argued. The living quarters were reached by a small door in the cave wall. It was basically a metal corridor with a few rooms branching off of it. Two bedrooms, a kitchen and one bath room. There was no heating. All was covered in a layer of dust and the metal was rusted in places.
They were impressed to find the electricity still worked though a few light bulbs fizzled out within the first few minutes of operation. There was only cold running water, but it was clean. They decided that Wufei would need the most room for sleeping so he was to share one of the beds with only Duo.
Heero didn't like the realisation of how much he resented this. Duo seemed fairly disappointed as well but managed to hide it. Trowa, Quatre and Heero would share the bed in the other room. Though the two lovers didn't seem to mind, Heero did have the feeling that he was going to feel very uncomfortable in their bed tonight. The term 'third wheel' rolled around in his head like a lead marble.
Duo was assigned as "Wufei-sitter" whilst the three remaining pilots went off to attend their Gundams to make any repairs and to re-plan some of their mission around Wufei's absence.
Wufei was not at all chuffed at not being able to fight and even less chuffed at being condemned to be "looked after" by Duo. Wufei tried to tell himself that Duo was only trying to be kind but he could not help but get annoyed when the tenth round of I-spy turned out to be "p" for "pink boxers with teddy bears". It did not help either that they were ensconced in a windowless room with a flickering light bulb and no heating. Wufei was sitting in the dusty chair and grumbling about the cold. Quatre had kindly remade up all the old mattresses with sheets of their own so the bed was going to be comfy, clean and warm, but that was the only bright side to it. Wufei found that he did not object to the thought of sharing a bed with Duo, but decided it would be wise to avoid Heero's company for a while. But as the prattling of Duo's voice went on and on, Wufei wondered whether he was actually going to get any sleep later that night. This mildly irritating company went on for some while and soon what little light filtered in from the open cave door at the end of the corridor into the living quarters was fading.
Wufei was mildly surprised at the reaction he got when he told Duo he was tired. Duo promptly shut up and sat down to quietly play solitaire on Heero's laptop for a while.
"Duo, are you ok?" Wufei asked after the silence had lasted a full ten minutes.
Duo looked up. "I'm fine, why shouldn't I be?"
Wufei thought he saw something in Duo's eyes. "Duo, is something bothering you?"
Duo shook his head and went back to silently playing on the computer, which just got Wufei even more worried. He was about to inquire further when the rest of the pilots arrived back. After checking Wufei's injury they all settled down to wait out the next two hours they had before they left.
Except for Heero. He grabbed his jacket (once again reminded Duo of his duty to do Heero's washing that week) and set to go out. "I'm going out now," he said simply.
The others all nodded, not even looking up from their tasks, all knowing that he was going where he went every night if he could. They didn't notice Duo watching after Heero curiously as he strolled out of the living quarters.
"Where's he going?" Duo asked.
"The Sanq Kingdom," Quatre replied without thinking.
Trowa and Wufei tried not to physically react.
Duo, naturally, looked confused and slightly hurt. "Why is he going there?"
Quatre looked up. No one else was going to try and rescue him. "He goes every night, Duo," Quatre said. He gulped. He had told the truth because he couldn't think up anything else credible. He knew it was not the whole truth and Duo was certain to get the wrong idea, considering who was queen of the Sanq kingdom, but what else could Quatre say? "Heero goes every night to visit your grave"? He didn't think so.
"Oh," Duo said quietly and looked at the floor.
Quatre was right, Duo had got the wrong idea. Wufei and Trowa exchanged pained glances with him as Duo gazed at the floor in silence. They all knew there was nothing they could say that would not give anything away.
The look that Wufei had noticed at the back of Duo's eyes before was now all over his face. The three pilots were pained to see Duo fight back tears and attacked his game of solitaire with renewed vigor.
This is so hard, thought Quatre. How long are we going to have to keep on lying to him? But how can we possibly tell him the truth?
"Quatre," Trowa spoke. "Shall we go for a walk before we have to go?"
Quatre nodded silently. Trowa could always tell when his blonde lover was distressed and this situation was paying a hard toll on all of them.
"Will you two be ok for a little while?" Quatre asked.
Duo only nodded. Wufei looked away from the boy at the laptop to Quatre. "We'll be fine."
Quatre slipped his hand into Trowa's and they left the tiny room. Once they were outside, Trowa turned to the Arabian.
"Quatre, are you ok?"
Quatre shook his head and stared at the ground. "I thought I could cope, Trowa," he said. "I thought it would be nice to forget for a while that Duo is dead. But I cannot forget. Every time I look at him, my mind screams at me that what I'm doing is wrong…"
Trowa placed a gentle finger under Quatre's chin and eased his face up so he could look into his eyes. "Quatre, you've done nothing wrong."
"But I have," said Quatre. "We should have told him as soon as we knew, Trowa. We should have told him he is a clone…"
"No one could have been expected to break that kind of news to him," Trowa tried to soothe him. "You said yourself, it would have shattered him…"
"But he's living an illusion Trowa!" Quatre exclaimed. He turned his back on Trowa to hide the embarrassing tears of distress that were rising in his eyes. "He's living a lie and that lie is hurting all of us, even him."
Trowa said nothing to start off with. He walked up behind the smaller boy and wrapped his arms around him. For a while there was silence as the wind rustled through the trees around them and groaned in the cave entrance beside them.
"It's going to get harder and harder to tell him, Trowa," Quatre whispered. "The more he lives like this, the harder he'll fall when we tell him. He can tell something's wrong. He's quiet and preoccupied. He knows that we're treating him differently from what he remembers. He thinks he's done something wrong when he hasn't…and Heero. Did you see how hurt he was when he thought that Heero goes every night to see Relena? But how could we tell him that Heero was going to visit his own grave? But now he thinks that Heero has run to Relena while he's been away."
Trowa gave the blonde a comforting squeeze. "Quatre, this is a hard situation for all of us. We can't expect to be able to handle this. How many people's friends come back from the dead and don't realise there is anything wrong?"
"But we need to tell him, Trowa!" Quatre insisted, turning once more to face him. His pretty face was full of concern. "What will he think of us if he learns we've been lying to him?"
"It's too late for that," Trowa said quietly. "We've already lied to him. We've done wrong, Quatre, but everyone makes mistakes. And we acted to try and keep him happy a little longer – "
"Or ourselves," Quatre said. Trowa stared into the aquamarine eyes that were always so full of feeling and now so full of guilt. "How can we be sure we haven't done what we were afraid Heero would do? We've tried to replace Duo."
Trowa shrugged. "Possibly," he said with brutal honesty. "But we're only human, Quatre. No matter what excuses we make, the fact remains that we have lost someone dear to all of us. That kind of hole in your life doesn't go away. It's only natural that we should reach out to something that could fill it again."
"But it won't fill it, Trowa!" Quatre cried and flung himself into Trowa's arms. "It's not Duo! Duo's in the ground in the Sanq Kingdom! Heero's sitting with his grave at this moment. And the longer he believes he is Duo, the more we will hurt him eventually, whether we tell him or if he finds out on his own."
Trowa stroked the blonde locks. He knew that Quatre was right. No matter how objective he tried to be, this was hurting him as well. He knew that there was going to be pain in the future for all of them. Damned OZ was so adept at hurting them even without trying to. Duo was going to find out, and when he did, it was going to have a cataclysmic effect on all of them. Trowa did not know if they had made the right decision when they had decided to hide the truth from the clone, but like he had said so himself, they were all only human. They would put off the pain of the discovery for as long as they could, even if it did mean greater hurt in the future. They all instinctively tried to delay it.
"Quatre," Trowa whispered into his hair. "None of this is our fault. It is OZ's fault. It was OZ that twisted nature and fucked up so that we are all in trouble. Eventually it will be bad on the clone, but what else could we do? We had and still have no choice. This is a no-win situation…"
Quatre clutched Trowa's jumper.
"…But, even if he is a copy, we are still his friends. That will always come through in the end. Even if that body did not experience it, he remembers how much we all care for him and he knows we still do. Even if we've lied to him and he may not be able to forgive us for that, even if he hates us for a time, we will always be his friends, right?"
"Of course," Quatre's voice was muffled in Trowa's chest.
TBC
I would just like to say thank you very much for all the wonderful reviews that you have been giving. Each one means a lot to me and I'm so pleased you took the time to review. I also am very pleased that everyone seems to be enjoying it.
And of course, Duo Maxwell, despite being a clone, could not just simply choose some snacks, pay and then go. Oh no. He pondered different brands, loudly compared different fillings and flavors whilst all the time cracking jokes about the product names. And of course, once Wufei had finally convinced him with a shaking fist to just choose some and go, Duo decided it would be a good time to get some new clothes.
"I mean, I'm out on a limb already wearing Hee-chan's clothes today," Duo reasoned. "If I have to wear his clothes for much more time he's gonna feel the urge to commit genocide."
Wufei decided not to mention that he was also getting that urge. And so, it was another grueling half an hour until Duo had decided on some plain black shirts and jeans. Wufei soon gave up trying to decide why it had taken Duo so long to decide on the simplest items in the store.
Wufei left Duo to pay and staggered outside, needing fresh air and space. He leaned against a newspaper stall and waited for Duo.
Duo emerged soon after in his new clothes and with a shopping bag. He was just opening his mouth to greet Wufei far louder than was necessary when the opposite side of the small street erupted with gunfire.
Wufei was just diving for cover behind the newspaper stand when he felt fire course up his leg. He landed on the pavement behind the relative safety of the newspaper stall and cringed in pain. Duo was close behind.
"Wu-man, are you hit?" but Duo's words were drowned out as another eruption of gunfire shattered the wooden back of the stall above their heads. The stall's owner decided to abandon his magazines to their fate and fled.
Duo scooted over to the edge and pulled a gun from somewhere. Wufei tried to ignore the fiery pain in his leg as he readied his own weapon. There were almost a dozen armed men across the street, all dressed as civilians. OZ. They had all taken up strategic positions and were shooting angrily, furious that their prey had taken cover. The two boys carefully fired around the edges of the newspaper stand. The gunshots tore the air apart with noise and flying bullets and splinters from the newspaper stall. Wufei and Duo between them had managed to pick off five of the attackers before their ammo ran low.
Duo cursed and ducked back behind their cover. And empty magazine clattered to the floor beside him. He looked at Wufei with concern. His right calf was bleeding badly, though he didn't seem to notice it. His oriental face was contorted with steely determination as he fired his depleting supply of ammunition at their assailants. But he wasn't going to be able to run away.
Duo scooted over to Wufei. "Listen, pal," Duo shouted to be heard over the gunfire. "Stay right here, don't move. I'll be back in a second."
Wufei nodded but did not take his eyes off his work.
Duo ran down the ally behind the newspaper stall, ducking low so that their assailants would not notice him fleeing. He vaulted a wall at the end and found himself in another street. After taking a moment to get his bearings and notice the screeching of sirens in the distance, Duo burst into a sprint. His braid flew out behind him as he ran, knowing Wufei's life was at stake. He leapt up onto the roof of a moving car, much to the driver's consternation and proceeded to nimbly jump from one to another until he was on the other side. He skidded around a corner, knocking over a woman with a basket. Jumping over her recumbent form he sprinted furiously down the street and screeched to a halt when he drew up next to the bike parked by the side of the road.
He leapt on and the engine roared to life with his angry twist of the keys. With a smell of burning rubber he wheeled the great steel machine around and accelerated off through the traffic.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Wufei had only been left on his own a few minutes when he knew he was down to his last three bullets. The assailants seemed like they could go on forever. The pain in his leg had started to make his head throb and it was making him dizzy. He clenched his jaw and held firm. Peering around the edge of the now shattered newspaper stand he fired off his last remaining bullets. He heard a satisfactory yelp. And an even more satisfactory screech of stressed tires.
Wufei looked down the street and Duo was hurtling towards them at breakneck speed on Trowa's motorcycle. The firing stopped for one startled moment. Duo crashed into the remains of the newspaper stand, sending fragments of wood and paper flying. Wufei used all his strength to ignore the pain and hauled himself onto the back seat of the motorbike with the aid of Duo's outstretched arm.
Bullets fired wildly about their heads as the motorbike screamed away.
"Wufei, hang on tight, man," Duo shouted. Wufei just managed to oblige. Duo performed a serious of bone-jarring and sickening twists and turns about the streets of the town, leaving total havoc in his wake. He soon twisted their journey enough to make sure he had lost any followers and turned out onto the highway that led out of town.
Duo chewed at his lip as he felt Wufei's grip on him weaken. He must have lost a lot of blood. If they stopped now he would lose more. With one hand he grabbed one of the Chinese boy's arms and wrapped it tightly around his waist and held it there to make sure Wufei did not fall. One- handed he steered the motorbike down the highway. He pushed the bike into accelerating even more. He had to get his injured friend back quickly.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
It was just as the three pilots were clearing away the paperwork of their mission having completed the planning, when they heard a terrific screeching of brakes and a grating sound of gravel being flung up before protesting tires.
"My bike!" Trowa cried mournfully. "What the hell has Maxwell done to it?"
Then they looked up to the sound of the front door being opened roughly and followed shortly by the sound of heavy breathing and lumbering steps. Quatre, Trowa and Heero exchanged a single glance and rushed out into the hall.
Wufei was limping badly and had one arm slung over Duo's shoulders. They were both filthy with dust and Wufei's leg was wet and sticky with blood.
"By Allah," Quatre cried. "What happened!"
Trowa and Heero moved forward to relieve Duo of his burden and help Wufei into the lounge.
"Just outside the store," an exhausted and traumatized-looking Duo started to explain, "I was just coming out – "
"Go and get the first aid kit from upstairs, Duo," Heero said firmly, helping Trowa to ease Wufei down on the sofa. He was pale but his breathing was ok and his eyes were focussed.
"But I gotta tell you – "
"Now!" said Heero sternly.
Duo just looked hurt for a moment but then rushed upstairs to find the kit. As soon as he was gone, they looked at Wufei. Quatre handed him some water and Heero gently folded up his trousers to expose his injured calf.
"It was OZ," said Wufei, confirming their suspicions. "It was definitely them. But it was odd…" Wufei paused to drink the water and cringe in pain for a moment. "I was in full view of them for ages. They only started firing when Duo came out…"
They looked at each other with concern.
"They were after Duo?" Heero asked quietly.
Wufei nodded. "Duo dived with me behind a stall when it started. But they could have got either of us in the head with a single shot as soon as he emerged. They aimed at Duo and aimed low – " Wufei frowned, " – as you can see."
"They were only looking to maim," said Trowa. "And they did not recognise you, Wufei, so they must be local troops."
"Troops from the research facility looking to recapture Duo," Heero said needlessly. He examined Wufei's wound. It wasn't too deep; the bullet had just nicked the flesh. It was bleeding still but all it needed was some cleaning and some fresh bandages to keep out infection. "It's not too bad, Wufei."
"Could have fooled me," Wufei growled, wincing as Heero poked at his leg.
"Hang on," Quatre suddenly gave voice. "How were they able to find him so quickly?"
Their conversation was halted as they heard the drawn-out squeak and then a loud bump of someone sliding down a banister. Duo presently entered the room, rubbing his backside and brandishing the first aid kit.
"How you doin' Wuffie?" Duo asked. Heero found himself momentarily mesmerized by the beauty of Duo's face that could not be tarnished by all the dirt or worry that was etched onto it.
"I'll live," Wufei grumbled.
Trowa took the first aid kit and soon the wound was clean and bandaged. They had all managed between them to cook up an evasive explanation to satisfy Duo. He didn't look totally convinced however.
Trowa sat down at Heero's laptop and Quatre and Heero came to sit close to him so their conversation wouldn't be overheard by Duo, who was diligently helping Wufei get comfortable.
"We'll need to find somewhere else," Trowa said. "If they tracked him down to this area they will probably be able to find us quickly."
"Is there anywhere near?" asked Quatre.
Trowa's fingers clicked at the keys. He shook his head. "The only place anywhere near is one hundred miles to the north."
"That's not good enough," Heero said. "We need somewhere closer, just for tonight, until we've blown up that place. Is there anything else at all?"
Trowa searched a little more. "Well," said Trowa carefully. "There is somewhere a bit closer, forty miles south-east in the middle of the forest. A converted bomb shelter with a large hanger hollowed out in the cave below the forest floor. Perfect for storing the Gundams. But…" Trowa looked at them both. "It hasn't been used in about twenty years. I doubt there will be any heating or electricity. And it's unstable. The cave has already partially collapsed."
Quatre frowned.
"Well, it'll have to do for tonight. This mission must be completed tonight." Heero said in his no-one-argues-or-you'll-regret-it tone.
No one argued.
It took them a while to move over to the dilapidated safe 'cave'. The entrance was in a cliff face that was covered in trees and vines. It took them some while to find the control to open the huge door and then stash their Gundams inside. They could see rubble on the floor and it was true that the ceiling looked like it might fall at any moment. But Heero had used his tone and no one argued. The living quarters were reached by a small door in the cave wall. It was basically a metal corridor with a few rooms branching off of it. Two bedrooms, a kitchen and one bath room. There was no heating. All was covered in a layer of dust and the metal was rusted in places.
They were impressed to find the electricity still worked though a few light bulbs fizzled out within the first few minutes of operation. There was only cold running water, but it was clean. They decided that Wufei would need the most room for sleeping so he was to share one of the beds with only Duo.
Heero didn't like the realisation of how much he resented this. Duo seemed fairly disappointed as well but managed to hide it. Trowa, Quatre and Heero would share the bed in the other room. Though the two lovers didn't seem to mind, Heero did have the feeling that he was going to feel very uncomfortable in their bed tonight. The term 'third wheel' rolled around in his head like a lead marble.
Duo was assigned as "Wufei-sitter" whilst the three remaining pilots went off to attend their Gundams to make any repairs and to re-plan some of their mission around Wufei's absence.
Wufei was not at all chuffed at not being able to fight and even less chuffed at being condemned to be "looked after" by Duo. Wufei tried to tell himself that Duo was only trying to be kind but he could not help but get annoyed when the tenth round of I-spy turned out to be "p" for "pink boxers with teddy bears". It did not help either that they were ensconced in a windowless room with a flickering light bulb and no heating. Wufei was sitting in the dusty chair and grumbling about the cold. Quatre had kindly remade up all the old mattresses with sheets of their own so the bed was going to be comfy, clean and warm, but that was the only bright side to it. Wufei found that he did not object to the thought of sharing a bed with Duo, but decided it would be wise to avoid Heero's company for a while. But as the prattling of Duo's voice went on and on, Wufei wondered whether he was actually going to get any sleep later that night. This mildly irritating company went on for some while and soon what little light filtered in from the open cave door at the end of the corridor into the living quarters was fading.
Wufei was mildly surprised at the reaction he got when he told Duo he was tired. Duo promptly shut up and sat down to quietly play solitaire on Heero's laptop for a while.
"Duo, are you ok?" Wufei asked after the silence had lasted a full ten minutes.
Duo looked up. "I'm fine, why shouldn't I be?"
Wufei thought he saw something in Duo's eyes. "Duo, is something bothering you?"
Duo shook his head and went back to silently playing on the computer, which just got Wufei even more worried. He was about to inquire further when the rest of the pilots arrived back. After checking Wufei's injury they all settled down to wait out the next two hours they had before they left.
Except for Heero. He grabbed his jacket (once again reminded Duo of his duty to do Heero's washing that week) and set to go out. "I'm going out now," he said simply.
The others all nodded, not even looking up from their tasks, all knowing that he was going where he went every night if he could. They didn't notice Duo watching after Heero curiously as he strolled out of the living quarters.
"Where's he going?" Duo asked.
"The Sanq Kingdom," Quatre replied without thinking.
Trowa and Wufei tried not to physically react.
Duo, naturally, looked confused and slightly hurt. "Why is he going there?"
Quatre looked up. No one else was going to try and rescue him. "He goes every night, Duo," Quatre said. He gulped. He had told the truth because he couldn't think up anything else credible. He knew it was not the whole truth and Duo was certain to get the wrong idea, considering who was queen of the Sanq kingdom, but what else could Quatre say? "Heero goes every night to visit your grave"? He didn't think so.
"Oh," Duo said quietly and looked at the floor.
Quatre was right, Duo had got the wrong idea. Wufei and Trowa exchanged pained glances with him as Duo gazed at the floor in silence. They all knew there was nothing they could say that would not give anything away.
The look that Wufei had noticed at the back of Duo's eyes before was now all over his face. The three pilots were pained to see Duo fight back tears and attacked his game of solitaire with renewed vigor.
This is so hard, thought Quatre. How long are we going to have to keep on lying to him? But how can we possibly tell him the truth?
"Quatre," Trowa spoke. "Shall we go for a walk before we have to go?"
Quatre nodded silently. Trowa could always tell when his blonde lover was distressed and this situation was paying a hard toll on all of them.
"Will you two be ok for a little while?" Quatre asked.
Duo only nodded. Wufei looked away from the boy at the laptop to Quatre. "We'll be fine."
Quatre slipped his hand into Trowa's and they left the tiny room. Once they were outside, Trowa turned to the Arabian.
"Quatre, are you ok?"
Quatre shook his head and stared at the ground. "I thought I could cope, Trowa," he said. "I thought it would be nice to forget for a while that Duo is dead. But I cannot forget. Every time I look at him, my mind screams at me that what I'm doing is wrong…"
Trowa placed a gentle finger under Quatre's chin and eased his face up so he could look into his eyes. "Quatre, you've done nothing wrong."
"But I have," said Quatre. "We should have told him as soon as we knew, Trowa. We should have told him he is a clone…"
"No one could have been expected to break that kind of news to him," Trowa tried to soothe him. "You said yourself, it would have shattered him…"
"But he's living an illusion Trowa!" Quatre exclaimed. He turned his back on Trowa to hide the embarrassing tears of distress that were rising in his eyes. "He's living a lie and that lie is hurting all of us, even him."
Trowa said nothing to start off with. He walked up behind the smaller boy and wrapped his arms around him. For a while there was silence as the wind rustled through the trees around them and groaned in the cave entrance beside them.
"It's going to get harder and harder to tell him, Trowa," Quatre whispered. "The more he lives like this, the harder he'll fall when we tell him. He can tell something's wrong. He's quiet and preoccupied. He knows that we're treating him differently from what he remembers. He thinks he's done something wrong when he hasn't…and Heero. Did you see how hurt he was when he thought that Heero goes every night to see Relena? But how could we tell him that Heero was going to visit his own grave? But now he thinks that Heero has run to Relena while he's been away."
Trowa gave the blonde a comforting squeeze. "Quatre, this is a hard situation for all of us. We can't expect to be able to handle this. How many people's friends come back from the dead and don't realise there is anything wrong?"
"But we need to tell him, Trowa!" Quatre insisted, turning once more to face him. His pretty face was full of concern. "What will he think of us if he learns we've been lying to him?"
"It's too late for that," Trowa said quietly. "We've already lied to him. We've done wrong, Quatre, but everyone makes mistakes. And we acted to try and keep him happy a little longer – "
"Or ourselves," Quatre said. Trowa stared into the aquamarine eyes that were always so full of feeling and now so full of guilt. "How can we be sure we haven't done what we were afraid Heero would do? We've tried to replace Duo."
Trowa shrugged. "Possibly," he said with brutal honesty. "But we're only human, Quatre. No matter what excuses we make, the fact remains that we have lost someone dear to all of us. That kind of hole in your life doesn't go away. It's only natural that we should reach out to something that could fill it again."
"But it won't fill it, Trowa!" Quatre cried and flung himself into Trowa's arms. "It's not Duo! Duo's in the ground in the Sanq Kingdom! Heero's sitting with his grave at this moment. And the longer he believes he is Duo, the more we will hurt him eventually, whether we tell him or if he finds out on his own."
Trowa stroked the blonde locks. He knew that Quatre was right. No matter how objective he tried to be, this was hurting him as well. He knew that there was going to be pain in the future for all of them. Damned OZ was so adept at hurting them even without trying to. Duo was going to find out, and when he did, it was going to have a cataclysmic effect on all of them. Trowa did not know if they had made the right decision when they had decided to hide the truth from the clone, but like he had said so himself, they were all only human. They would put off the pain of the discovery for as long as they could, even if it did mean greater hurt in the future. They all instinctively tried to delay it.
"Quatre," Trowa whispered into his hair. "None of this is our fault. It is OZ's fault. It was OZ that twisted nature and fucked up so that we are all in trouble. Eventually it will be bad on the clone, but what else could we do? We had and still have no choice. This is a no-win situation…"
Quatre clutched Trowa's jumper.
"…But, even if he is a copy, we are still his friends. That will always come through in the end. Even if that body did not experience it, he remembers how much we all care for him and he knows we still do. Even if we've lied to him and he may not be able to forgive us for that, even if he hates us for a time, we will always be his friends, right?"
"Of course," Quatre's voice was muffled in Trowa's chest.
TBC
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