-Hmm, looking back at my last chapter, I see I basically promised you guys this chapter about 5 days ago. Oops. Anyways, better late than never? Hehe. So, this chapter is out just in time for my birthday. Yay me. Not like that has anything to do with the story, but yes, I am a year older today. So, personal life aside, enjoy this chapter.
-Disclaimer: I am not dressing up as Rumiko Takahashi for Halloween to try to convince myself that I do actually own the characters in this fic. I'm not that desperate yet. *Hides the costume she already bought...*
Better Left Unspoken
Akane walked into the dojo, and saw Ranma there. She knew they had to talk. Hoping to get things off to a good start, she put what she hoped was a casual smile on her face, and approached the young man.
"H..Hi, Ranma..."
"Hey, Akane. How's the tomboy doing today?"
Akane paused, a little shocked. It looked like Ranma wanted to pretend the past 6 months had never happened. Well, that was all fine and good, but they needed to clear the air between them. The last 6 months had happened, and they had had a huge effect on her life. She couldn't just pretend that everything was fine, that they could just move on. She had to know where things stood between them, where they could go from here.
"Well... I'm fine, I guess, but... don't you think we need to talk about stuff? Like, I don't know, what you've been up to this past while, and what I've been up to, stuff like that? If you don't want to talk about what happened that night you left, that's fine for right now - in fact, maybe we shouldn't just yet, but we will have to..." Akane trickled off, realizing she was on the verge of babbling.
Ranma nodded his head. "You're right, we do have to talk. I know, let's talk about you! So, I heard you did the whole minor insanity bit, huh? Not too shabby - good way to get sympathy, you know. But a bit sad, don't you think? I mean, come on... who's gonna feel anything other than pity at a poor little uncute tomboy, mooning over a lost love who never felt anything but resentment towards her. If it wasn't for our dads, we would never even have met, and I wouldn't have ever had to deal with your pathetic little outburst that night. Confessing your love to me? What did you think I was going to do? Jump into your arms, pick you up and carry you away to live happily ever after? Psh. Get real." He started to laugh meanly, with open contempt in his voice.
Akane's legs wobbled, and then gave out. She sat down on the floor with a soft thump, and stared at Ranma. "No... no, that's not how it was - Nabiki told me you wrote me - you cared enough to try to keep in touch with me... And that night - I just, I thought, well..." She couldn't continue without bursting into tears, and she didn't want to do that. Oh God, she couldn't go through that again. Was he going to get up and leave? What had happened to the Ranma she knew - this resentful, angry, sneering boy wasn't the one she remembered.
"Oh, yeah, I wrote letters - telling you what an idiot you were to ruin a perfectly good situation that I had going on. Free meals, a place to sleep where I didn't get rained on - well, except when you'd be so kind as to wake me up with a pail of water - but that's beside the point, now isn't it? Get. This. Through. Your. Head. I don't love you. I don't like you. If you crawled into a hole and disappeared, I'd throw a party. And now, I come back, and find that while I was gone, your little attitude somehow convinced all my other chicks to back off. Thanks a lot. Now I've got to go out and collect them all back - with the exception of you, of course. Oh for crying out loud - now you're crying? Get a grip."
"Ranma... please, why are you being like this? I thought we were friends... Ranma..."
Ranma interrupted. "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma" He imitated Akane, in a singsong voice, mocking her. "You know, I used to like my name a hell of a lot more before you started saying it all the time. You know what? This isn't worth my time - I've got better things to do, then sit around here, and listen to your sad attempts at whatever you're trying to say. I'm outta here." Laughing at Akane, he strolled out the door.
Akane reached pleadingly towards him, as if to catch his shirt, to hold him back. "Don't go... please... Ranma... RANMA!!!"
Akane sat up in bed, shaking. She had had the worst sleep of her life. Her night had been filled with dreams about Ranma's return. Knowing that they would have some sort of confrontation the next day, her mind was whizzing through all kinds of scenario's, some good, some bad, and some absolutely humiliating, such as the one she had just woken up from.
Looking at her window, she saw that it was early in the morning - a little earlier than she normally got up, but she just couldn't sleep any longer. She got up and went to the furo. After washing up and getting dressed, she sat down at her desk. It'd be a while still before Kasumi got up to start making breakfast. Normally, that would be an incentive for her to cook for the family, but over the past while, she had been able to acknowledge exactly how bad her cooking was. She had been working on it a lot with Kasumi, and had improved, but she knew that when she was upset or worried, it was fatal for her to set foot in a kitchen.
There was a light tap at her door. Figuring it was Kasumi, seeing how she was doing, Akane rose to answer it. Opening it, she came face to face with Ranma. Holding back the urge to slam the door in his face again from panic, she swallowed a great gulp of air.
"Hi, Akane. We need to talk. I'm sorry to do this so early, but I heard you moving around in here, and just thought that maybe..." He trailed off, looking at her.
Akane stood there dumbly. Then she mentally shook herself and managed to get out some words. "Yes, Ranma. We do need to talk. Did you want to come in?"
"Umm, no, I was maybe thinking we could go out to the backyard? It's a nice morning and all, you know. We could, umm, sit by the Koi pond or walk around, or something like that, whatever."
Akane sighed inside. All of a sudden, she could see that Ranma was as nervous about talking to her as she was to him! Even though she had not much of an idea about how the conversation would go, this realization made her feel so much better. She nodded in agreement, and they headed outside.
Getting to the pond, they sat down, neither one seeming to be able to start talking. An uncomfortable silence fell over them. A few times, each of them would look up, and open their mouth, and then... just as suddenly, close it again, and look anywhere but at the other person.
Suddenly, a crow landed a short distance away, and let out a loud raucous caw. They both jumped, and looking somewhat embarrassed, started to laugh. The laughter helped to melt away some of the tension and nervousness that they were feeling.
"Akane, I..."
Ranma, do you think..."
Having both started to talk at the same time, they laughed again, albeit a bit panicky, and then fell silent.
"What I mean is..."
"Maybe we should start by..."
This time the laughter wasn't forced. They managed to get their mirth under control and looked at each other.
"Akane, let me go first - there's so much I have to say, but I don't know the right words. I've just got to say that now. So, if I end up sounded like an idiot, or a jerk, I don't mean to."
"Alright, Ranma. I promise I'll try to keep that in mind. I've got stuff to say too - and, I know it's hard."
"Okay, first off, I've got to tell you - Kasumi told me last night about what happened after I left. So, you don't need to talk about that time if you don't want to. I know it was hard for you, and I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am."
"Ranma, let's not talk about that kind of stuff right now - let's just talk about what you've been doing for the past while."
Ranma nodded, a bit relieved. "Alright, okay, where to start." He told Akane about the dojo's he had visited during his travels, about the Masters of various forms of Martial Arts he had met. He talked about spending a lot of time meditating, and acknowledging his weaknesses - not in the Arts, but in life. About how he realized that he had been keeping up a wall on his emotions, preferring to stay a kid as long as he could.
"I think that maybe some of that had to do with my childhood, or rather my lack of one. This was the first place that was like a home that I could remember - I don't have any memories of living with my mom before the training trip started. I'm not blaming Pops for my problems, but, you gotta admit, he didn't really help..."
"I know, Ranma. You had a lot to deal with as a kid. I guess I can sort of understand where you're coming from in this. But I have to say, it sounds like you did a lot of thinking on your trip, that it was good for you."
Ranma started to laugh. Akane looked at him, surprised.
"What? What did I say?" Looking back at what she had said, she didn't see anything remotely funny about it.
"Nothing. It wasn't anything you said, or I said, it's just how we're saying it. Who woulda thought we'd ever be sitting here, talking like mature people, instead of whomping or insulting each other. It sounds like I'm not the only one that did some growing up and thinking in the past while, Akane."
Akane mulled this over. "I guess you're right Ranma. These past months have been somewhat the same for me. I grew up too, I guess. And, you know, I don't think that's a bad thing, growing up."
"No, not at all. But I gotta ask, Akane. This growing up - did it involve growing away too?" Ranma practically whispered this last part.
Akane looked down at the ground. "I really don't know, Ranma. I look at you now, and I see the boy I knew, someone I cared about, in an unfamiliar man. All these feelings come rushing back, and not just good ones. I do still care about you, I'm not going to deny that, but I can't help but feel some resentment about how you left, how I didn't hear from you. I know that that last part was due to a mix up..."
Ranma broke in. "A stupid mix up if you ask me. I don't know what I was thinking, Akane. I wish you had got the letters I wrote. Then maybe we wouldn't be sitting here like this."
"I wish too, Ranma, but we can't go back and think about what could have been."
"But can we still think about what can be? You don't need to say anything right now, cause there's still so much to tell you about why I left like I did, why I went away for so long, that I'm not going to make you answer that question until you've heard my whole story."
"I'm glad you feel that way Ranma. Right now, sitting here with you, looking at you, I want to say that what happened doesn't matter, but then my brain stops me, and shouts "Of course it matters - the jerk walked away", and I want to pull out the mallet and give you a good whack for being a stupid baka, but that wouldn't get us anywhere. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions, and it's so confusing. And then, with Nabiki telling me to just stay away from you so that I don't get hurt again, I don't know really what to think."
"I know Nabiki's really mad at me, and I don't blame her for feeling that way. I don't blame you either. But we've got to work this out together. Nothing will happen unless we both feel the same. I guess from what I'm saying here, it's probably pretty obvious how I feel, how I felt back then."
Akane yelled in her head. *Then say it! Say the words! Please, Ranma, if you want us to have a chance, say the words!*
"I'm not going to push myself on you, because although I know how you felt 6 months ago, I don't know how you feel anymore - sure, you said that you still have feelings for me, but I don't want to drag you into something you're not ready for." Looking at Akane, Ranma thought he saw a look of disappointment flash quickly across her face, but it came and went so fast, that he couldn't be sure it had been there at all. Even still, it made his heart do a little jump in his chest. Maybe it wasn't too late after all!
*I know he's right. I can't believe how much he's grown up! But still, part of me wants to hear him finally say it.* Akane thought to herself.
"So... I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I was wondering if I still have your friendship. I know we still have a lot to talk about, but I'm asking you now - will you be my friend?"
"Let's keep it friends for now? Ranma, that sounds good. I missed you - I missed our friendship. I know we fought most of the time, but you were my friend. You still can be my friend. And yes, I do need to hear the rest of it, but that can take time. We have time - there's no need to rush anything. So, in answer to your question, yes, Ranma. I'll be your friend. And as for Nabiki, let me talk to her - what she's mostly worried about is that I'll jump right back into the mess I was in before, and if I can make her see that that's not what I'm doing, or what you are trying to make me do, I'm sure she'll understand." Akane did look a little worried though - she knew that Nabiki might not even be able to see why she would want to even try to be friends with Ranma again.
The two young adults smiled tentatively at each other. The veranda door opened, and Kasumi came out, calling them in for breakfast. Slowly they got up and headed to the door, walking side by side, but still at a distance from each other.
Akane smiled. Working on this together, they could make something out of it. If it was only friendship in the end, she thought she would be okay. And if there was something more, she'd be okay then too. She definitely wasn't going to make Ranma do all the work though - that'd be unfair to him and to her. Sure, he had some things to make up for, but then, so did she. Walking into the dining area, she realized it was going to be a pretty good day.
End Chapter 5
-Well. A bit of WAFFyness in this chapter. And most likely, more to come. But, don't worry, not everything is resolved yet - the duo still has some problems to overcome. So it's not going to turn into a "Oh, I've been such a horrible jerk to you, Akane, please please take me back..." "Oh, I forgive you for all the bad things you've done, Ranma" type of ending. Please continue to R&R - and if you do choose to flame, please don't make assumptions on how I'm writing the rest of this fic, cause you don't know what I have planned - but I'll let you know this much: I'm not doing the Ranma stupid boy, Akane poor girl thing. I'm only saying this cause I had a few nasty emails regarding this.
-Disclaimer: I am not dressing up as Rumiko Takahashi for Halloween to try to convince myself that I do actually own the characters in this fic. I'm not that desperate yet. *Hides the costume she already bought...*
Better Left Unspoken
Akane walked into the dojo, and saw Ranma there. She knew they had to talk. Hoping to get things off to a good start, she put what she hoped was a casual smile on her face, and approached the young man.
"H..Hi, Ranma..."
"Hey, Akane. How's the tomboy doing today?"
Akane paused, a little shocked. It looked like Ranma wanted to pretend the past 6 months had never happened. Well, that was all fine and good, but they needed to clear the air between them. The last 6 months had happened, and they had had a huge effect on her life. She couldn't just pretend that everything was fine, that they could just move on. She had to know where things stood between them, where they could go from here.
"Well... I'm fine, I guess, but... don't you think we need to talk about stuff? Like, I don't know, what you've been up to this past while, and what I've been up to, stuff like that? If you don't want to talk about what happened that night you left, that's fine for right now - in fact, maybe we shouldn't just yet, but we will have to..." Akane trickled off, realizing she was on the verge of babbling.
Ranma nodded his head. "You're right, we do have to talk. I know, let's talk about you! So, I heard you did the whole minor insanity bit, huh? Not too shabby - good way to get sympathy, you know. But a bit sad, don't you think? I mean, come on... who's gonna feel anything other than pity at a poor little uncute tomboy, mooning over a lost love who never felt anything but resentment towards her. If it wasn't for our dads, we would never even have met, and I wouldn't have ever had to deal with your pathetic little outburst that night. Confessing your love to me? What did you think I was going to do? Jump into your arms, pick you up and carry you away to live happily ever after? Psh. Get real." He started to laugh meanly, with open contempt in his voice.
Akane's legs wobbled, and then gave out. She sat down on the floor with a soft thump, and stared at Ranma. "No... no, that's not how it was - Nabiki told me you wrote me - you cared enough to try to keep in touch with me... And that night - I just, I thought, well..." She couldn't continue without bursting into tears, and she didn't want to do that. Oh God, she couldn't go through that again. Was he going to get up and leave? What had happened to the Ranma she knew - this resentful, angry, sneering boy wasn't the one she remembered.
"Oh, yeah, I wrote letters - telling you what an idiot you were to ruin a perfectly good situation that I had going on. Free meals, a place to sleep where I didn't get rained on - well, except when you'd be so kind as to wake me up with a pail of water - but that's beside the point, now isn't it? Get. This. Through. Your. Head. I don't love you. I don't like you. If you crawled into a hole and disappeared, I'd throw a party. And now, I come back, and find that while I was gone, your little attitude somehow convinced all my other chicks to back off. Thanks a lot. Now I've got to go out and collect them all back - with the exception of you, of course. Oh for crying out loud - now you're crying? Get a grip."
"Ranma... please, why are you being like this? I thought we were friends... Ranma..."
Ranma interrupted. "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma" He imitated Akane, in a singsong voice, mocking her. "You know, I used to like my name a hell of a lot more before you started saying it all the time. You know what? This isn't worth my time - I've got better things to do, then sit around here, and listen to your sad attempts at whatever you're trying to say. I'm outta here." Laughing at Akane, he strolled out the door.
Akane reached pleadingly towards him, as if to catch his shirt, to hold him back. "Don't go... please... Ranma... RANMA!!!"
Akane sat up in bed, shaking. She had had the worst sleep of her life. Her night had been filled with dreams about Ranma's return. Knowing that they would have some sort of confrontation the next day, her mind was whizzing through all kinds of scenario's, some good, some bad, and some absolutely humiliating, such as the one she had just woken up from.
Looking at her window, she saw that it was early in the morning - a little earlier than she normally got up, but she just couldn't sleep any longer. She got up and went to the furo. After washing up and getting dressed, she sat down at her desk. It'd be a while still before Kasumi got up to start making breakfast. Normally, that would be an incentive for her to cook for the family, but over the past while, she had been able to acknowledge exactly how bad her cooking was. She had been working on it a lot with Kasumi, and had improved, but she knew that when she was upset or worried, it was fatal for her to set foot in a kitchen.
There was a light tap at her door. Figuring it was Kasumi, seeing how she was doing, Akane rose to answer it. Opening it, she came face to face with Ranma. Holding back the urge to slam the door in his face again from panic, she swallowed a great gulp of air.
"Hi, Akane. We need to talk. I'm sorry to do this so early, but I heard you moving around in here, and just thought that maybe..." He trailed off, looking at her.
Akane stood there dumbly. Then she mentally shook herself and managed to get out some words. "Yes, Ranma. We do need to talk. Did you want to come in?"
"Umm, no, I was maybe thinking we could go out to the backyard? It's a nice morning and all, you know. We could, umm, sit by the Koi pond or walk around, or something like that, whatever."
Akane sighed inside. All of a sudden, she could see that Ranma was as nervous about talking to her as she was to him! Even though she had not much of an idea about how the conversation would go, this realization made her feel so much better. She nodded in agreement, and they headed outside.
Getting to the pond, they sat down, neither one seeming to be able to start talking. An uncomfortable silence fell over them. A few times, each of them would look up, and open their mouth, and then... just as suddenly, close it again, and look anywhere but at the other person.
Suddenly, a crow landed a short distance away, and let out a loud raucous caw. They both jumped, and looking somewhat embarrassed, started to laugh. The laughter helped to melt away some of the tension and nervousness that they were feeling.
"Akane, I..."
Ranma, do you think..."
Having both started to talk at the same time, they laughed again, albeit a bit panicky, and then fell silent.
"What I mean is..."
"Maybe we should start by..."
This time the laughter wasn't forced. They managed to get their mirth under control and looked at each other.
"Akane, let me go first - there's so much I have to say, but I don't know the right words. I've just got to say that now. So, if I end up sounded like an idiot, or a jerk, I don't mean to."
"Alright, Ranma. I promise I'll try to keep that in mind. I've got stuff to say too - and, I know it's hard."
"Okay, first off, I've got to tell you - Kasumi told me last night about what happened after I left. So, you don't need to talk about that time if you don't want to. I know it was hard for you, and I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am."
"Ranma, let's not talk about that kind of stuff right now - let's just talk about what you've been doing for the past while."
Ranma nodded, a bit relieved. "Alright, okay, where to start." He told Akane about the dojo's he had visited during his travels, about the Masters of various forms of Martial Arts he had met. He talked about spending a lot of time meditating, and acknowledging his weaknesses - not in the Arts, but in life. About how he realized that he had been keeping up a wall on his emotions, preferring to stay a kid as long as he could.
"I think that maybe some of that had to do with my childhood, or rather my lack of one. This was the first place that was like a home that I could remember - I don't have any memories of living with my mom before the training trip started. I'm not blaming Pops for my problems, but, you gotta admit, he didn't really help..."
"I know, Ranma. You had a lot to deal with as a kid. I guess I can sort of understand where you're coming from in this. But I have to say, it sounds like you did a lot of thinking on your trip, that it was good for you."
Ranma started to laugh. Akane looked at him, surprised.
"What? What did I say?" Looking back at what she had said, she didn't see anything remotely funny about it.
"Nothing. It wasn't anything you said, or I said, it's just how we're saying it. Who woulda thought we'd ever be sitting here, talking like mature people, instead of whomping or insulting each other. It sounds like I'm not the only one that did some growing up and thinking in the past while, Akane."
Akane mulled this over. "I guess you're right Ranma. These past months have been somewhat the same for me. I grew up too, I guess. And, you know, I don't think that's a bad thing, growing up."
"No, not at all. But I gotta ask, Akane. This growing up - did it involve growing away too?" Ranma practically whispered this last part.
Akane looked down at the ground. "I really don't know, Ranma. I look at you now, and I see the boy I knew, someone I cared about, in an unfamiliar man. All these feelings come rushing back, and not just good ones. I do still care about you, I'm not going to deny that, but I can't help but feel some resentment about how you left, how I didn't hear from you. I know that that last part was due to a mix up..."
Ranma broke in. "A stupid mix up if you ask me. I don't know what I was thinking, Akane. I wish you had got the letters I wrote. Then maybe we wouldn't be sitting here like this."
"I wish too, Ranma, but we can't go back and think about what could have been."
"But can we still think about what can be? You don't need to say anything right now, cause there's still so much to tell you about why I left like I did, why I went away for so long, that I'm not going to make you answer that question until you've heard my whole story."
"I'm glad you feel that way Ranma. Right now, sitting here with you, looking at you, I want to say that what happened doesn't matter, but then my brain stops me, and shouts "Of course it matters - the jerk walked away", and I want to pull out the mallet and give you a good whack for being a stupid baka, but that wouldn't get us anywhere. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions, and it's so confusing. And then, with Nabiki telling me to just stay away from you so that I don't get hurt again, I don't know really what to think."
"I know Nabiki's really mad at me, and I don't blame her for feeling that way. I don't blame you either. But we've got to work this out together. Nothing will happen unless we both feel the same. I guess from what I'm saying here, it's probably pretty obvious how I feel, how I felt back then."
Akane yelled in her head. *Then say it! Say the words! Please, Ranma, if you want us to have a chance, say the words!*
"I'm not going to push myself on you, because although I know how you felt 6 months ago, I don't know how you feel anymore - sure, you said that you still have feelings for me, but I don't want to drag you into something you're not ready for." Looking at Akane, Ranma thought he saw a look of disappointment flash quickly across her face, but it came and went so fast, that he couldn't be sure it had been there at all. Even still, it made his heart do a little jump in his chest. Maybe it wasn't too late after all!
*I know he's right. I can't believe how much he's grown up! But still, part of me wants to hear him finally say it.* Akane thought to herself.
"So... I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I was wondering if I still have your friendship. I know we still have a lot to talk about, but I'm asking you now - will you be my friend?"
"Let's keep it friends for now? Ranma, that sounds good. I missed you - I missed our friendship. I know we fought most of the time, but you were my friend. You still can be my friend. And yes, I do need to hear the rest of it, but that can take time. We have time - there's no need to rush anything. So, in answer to your question, yes, Ranma. I'll be your friend. And as for Nabiki, let me talk to her - what she's mostly worried about is that I'll jump right back into the mess I was in before, and if I can make her see that that's not what I'm doing, or what you are trying to make me do, I'm sure she'll understand." Akane did look a little worried though - she knew that Nabiki might not even be able to see why she would want to even try to be friends with Ranma again.
The two young adults smiled tentatively at each other. The veranda door opened, and Kasumi came out, calling them in for breakfast. Slowly they got up and headed to the door, walking side by side, but still at a distance from each other.
Akane smiled. Working on this together, they could make something out of it. If it was only friendship in the end, she thought she would be okay. And if there was something more, she'd be okay then too. She definitely wasn't going to make Ranma do all the work though - that'd be unfair to him and to her. Sure, he had some things to make up for, but then, so did she. Walking into the dining area, she realized it was going to be a pretty good day.
End Chapter 5
-Well. A bit of WAFFyness in this chapter. And most likely, more to come. But, don't worry, not everything is resolved yet - the duo still has some problems to overcome. So it's not going to turn into a "Oh, I've been such a horrible jerk to you, Akane, please please take me back..." "Oh, I forgive you for all the bad things you've done, Ranma" type of ending. Please continue to R&R - and if you do choose to flame, please don't make assumptions on how I'm writing the rest of this fic, cause you don't know what I have planned - but I'll let you know this much: I'm not doing the Ranma stupid boy, Akane poor girl thing. I'm only saying this cause I had a few nasty emails regarding this.