Silent Lives 7: Today's Treasure
By Maureen
See previous chapters for disclaimers
***
Alex sat dumbstruck by the pronouncement. "Now wait a minute," he sputtered, trying to stall so he could formulate a response. Usually he did not have these problems. Usually he knew the answers. Usually he wasn't discussing Jamie's welfare with his biological mother either.
"He's my son. I want to be his mother."
"It's not that simple," Alex began, words once again forming into coherent sentences, "He's a ward of the state and he's about to turn 18. By the time we get the paperwork filled out and submitted it won't matter."
"So you're willing to let him move in here?" Mary asked, surprised at Alex's cooperation.
"You misunderstand me. I mean that legally there isn't enough time before his 18th birthday. And it is his choice. He has a life in Kingsport, friends, a family. I won't force him to give up the only stability he has ever known just because you feel guilty."
"He's right," Richard replied softly, surprising everyone.
"He is my son!" Mary replied forcefully.
"Yes, and they are our daughters!" Richard replied, gesturing to the mantle with pictures of their daughters on it.
"Must you disrupt everyone's lives just to ease your conscience? You lived for 14 years without him at all, you can live with seeing him on school vacations!"
Alex sat on the couch, trying to ignore the fight taking place in front of him, but glad to have the other man on his side.
"He is deaf, Mary. Deaf. That means special schools, learning sign, telephones, who knows what else!" Mary began to cry as her husband continued, "I'm not using this as an excuse for him not to be a part of our lives, but you need to think about what this means, especially if he comes to visit or live with us. This is not as simple as enrolling him in the local high school."
***
At the park, Jamie sat on the grass; basking in the warm fall sun and watching his half-sisters play on the monkey bars. They were currently trying to do some trick that they had learned somewhere and he was beginning to wonder if they were going to crack their heads open.
"Shannon, Kristin, come over here before you crack your head open!" he called, hoping to prevent an accident. Obediently the girls came over and sat down.
"Why are you here?" Shannon asked, looking up at Jamie.
He still couldn't read lips and sighed, exasperated. Pulling out his perpetual pen and paper, he handed it to her. "Write it down," he instructed.
Slowly she wrote her question in scraggly block letters with help from her sister. /why are you here?/
Jamie was taken aback. It had never occurred to him that no one had explained who he was. "Um..." he began, not sure where to begin. Finally he decided on the beginning. "Years ago, your mommy was married to someone else and had two boys. She wasn't very happy and she left. I don't know why. Years passed and she met another man who made her very happy and they married and had two girls. But then one of the boys wanted to know where his mommy was because he missed her. So he went looking...and one day he found her and knocked on the door."
/you are the boy/ Kristin wrote.
Jamie nodded. "Yeah. I didn't even know about you two."
/so you are our...half brother?/
Jamie nodded again. "Yeah. I'm Jamie Waite. Nice to meet you," he formally shook their hands, glad that everything was mostly explained. He'd leave their mother to explain the rest when they get older.
Walking back to the house, a small, dirty hand in each of his, Jamie decided he would ask Alex if he could spend part of Christmas break here, if his mother would let him. They did have a few issues to resolve still. Cute little sisters or not, they had a lot of figure out.
***
Are you Jamie's dad?" Kristin asked Alex as soon as Jamie had gone upstairs to shower and change.
Alex began coughing suddenly, as the room became eerily quiet. "No, no I'm not. I'm Alex, Jamie's foster father."
"Oh," she said, not quite sure what a 'foster father' was.
Mary quickly grabbed her oldest daughter, shooing her upstairs to clean up and trying to apologize at the same time.
Alex chuckled softly, "I'm not offended. I know she doesn't know about Jamie's real father, and I like to think of Jamie as my son. But Mary, I'm not trying to keep him from you, I just want what's best for him, like you."
She pursed her lips together and didn't reply.
Time passed slowly, neither party really knowing what to do or say, but knowing that something had to be done. Mary wanted her son back regardless of what everyone else said and Richard and Alex had found an unspoken alliance to keep Jamie with Alex. Although they had different reasons the desired results were the same.
*So, Mary wants me to move in here?* Jamie signed to Alex after he had recapped the earlier events. He wasn't comfortable referring to her as 'mother' or 'mom', which, as he had put it, would imply a relationship they didn't have.
*She wants to make up for the lost time,* Alex explained, trying to be unbiased. This was ultimately Jamie's decision after all.
*It's not like she didn't know where I was for 14 fucking years!* the younger man replied sarcastically. Normally he tried to watch his language around his boss cum foster father, but right now he just didn't care. He knew how to swear like a sailor and he liked it.
Alex wisely didn't comment, shrugging in reply. What could he say? It was true.
*I had to rot in that shit hole, that cesspool! And she has the nerve to sit here in her Polo sweater-set and khakis and say that she wants me back? Well whoop-ti-fucking-do! I am not some dog that barks on command!* Jamie was working himself up into hysterics.
This was a side of him that Alex had never seen. This was 14 years of anger, resentment, hatred, love and dreams coming crashing down around his shoulders. This was having to be loved after the accident, rebuilding a life. This was realizing that everything you ever knew could have possibly been circumvented if the one person in the world who was supposed to care wasn't conceited.
*You want to lose this, Jamie?* Alex finally asked, once Jamie had calmed down a bit.
Jamie looked at him askance, taken aback. *What do you mean?*
*I mean, if you go ranting like this, you might lose your mother forever. Do you want to lose her forever or simply bitch her out?*
Damn Alex, making sense. He shook his shaggy black head, bangs falling in to his face. Alex had tried to get him to cut his hair, but he had become interested in anime and had decided to grow his hair to look like an anime guy. *Okay, so you're saying I can bitch her out, but not too badly?* he'd never heard Alex cuss before.
*Right. Feel free to tell her how you feel, but try to keep the cussing to a minimum, okay?*
Jamie nodded. He stood, wanting to get this done. It was nearly dinnertime and he was ready to talk to his mom and understand her. He was ready to go back home. His sisters were cute, but this wasn't what he had expected. He hadn't known what to expect, but that really didn't matter.
"Mary?" he said, hesitantly, joining his mother and stepfather in the living room. "Alex will translate for you, okay?"
She nodded, not understanding.
Taking a deep breath, he began to rant. He fumed about his life or lack thereof in near poverty, his criminal record, how he became deaf, and more. After nearly twenty minutes he was crying, his voice breaking. To his chagrin he had switched at some point from speaking to signing, finding it easier when he couldn't trust his voice.
More and more, he had noticed, that he couldn't trust his voice. Volume was becoming less of a problem, except in situations where he was excited, like this one. His biggest problem now, was the flatness. He was slurring some of his consonants without realizing it, his voice lacking emotion or word definition. All of this combined with crying made his voice nearly useless.
Finally he took a breath, trying to calm down. "Fuck you," he ended clearly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Gone was the confidant young man that had knocked on the door the evening before, sending their lives into turmoil. In his place was the hurt and scarred boy his mother had all but forgotten about.
Alex was immediately trying to comfort his ward, rubbing his back and holding him, but was intercepted by Mary. She too was crying, wishing she could proclaim her son a liar, but knowing every word was true. And it had all been preventable had she simply taken her children with her when she ran.
She pulled her son close to her, rocking him in her arms as sobbed wracked his body. "Shh," she murmured into his neck, not for comfort, but for herself. The guilt had been overwhelming for the past 24 hours, the silently accusing eyes of both Jamie and Richard almost unbearable. And she deserved it. She deserved it.
***
Jamie and Alex had dinner that night at the Cracker Barrel, the restaurant of road trips. It had been a teary goodbye with email addresses exchanged and promises to write. It wasn't the perfect family reunion, but it wasn't horrible. And Jamie liked his sisters. They were cute.
***
A/N: I want to move to theory. Everything works there.
By Maureen
See previous chapters for disclaimers
***
Alex sat dumbstruck by the pronouncement. "Now wait a minute," he sputtered, trying to stall so he could formulate a response. Usually he did not have these problems. Usually he knew the answers. Usually he wasn't discussing Jamie's welfare with his biological mother either.
"He's my son. I want to be his mother."
"It's not that simple," Alex began, words once again forming into coherent sentences, "He's a ward of the state and he's about to turn 18. By the time we get the paperwork filled out and submitted it won't matter."
"So you're willing to let him move in here?" Mary asked, surprised at Alex's cooperation.
"You misunderstand me. I mean that legally there isn't enough time before his 18th birthday. And it is his choice. He has a life in Kingsport, friends, a family. I won't force him to give up the only stability he has ever known just because you feel guilty."
"He's right," Richard replied softly, surprising everyone.
"He is my son!" Mary replied forcefully.
"Yes, and they are our daughters!" Richard replied, gesturing to the mantle with pictures of their daughters on it.
"Must you disrupt everyone's lives just to ease your conscience? You lived for 14 years without him at all, you can live with seeing him on school vacations!"
Alex sat on the couch, trying to ignore the fight taking place in front of him, but glad to have the other man on his side.
"He is deaf, Mary. Deaf. That means special schools, learning sign, telephones, who knows what else!" Mary began to cry as her husband continued, "I'm not using this as an excuse for him not to be a part of our lives, but you need to think about what this means, especially if he comes to visit or live with us. This is not as simple as enrolling him in the local high school."
***
At the park, Jamie sat on the grass; basking in the warm fall sun and watching his half-sisters play on the monkey bars. They were currently trying to do some trick that they had learned somewhere and he was beginning to wonder if they were going to crack their heads open.
"Shannon, Kristin, come over here before you crack your head open!" he called, hoping to prevent an accident. Obediently the girls came over and sat down.
"Why are you here?" Shannon asked, looking up at Jamie.
He still couldn't read lips and sighed, exasperated. Pulling out his perpetual pen and paper, he handed it to her. "Write it down," he instructed.
Slowly she wrote her question in scraggly block letters with help from her sister. /why are you here?/
Jamie was taken aback. It had never occurred to him that no one had explained who he was. "Um..." he began, not sure where to begin. Finally he decided on the beginning. "Years ago, your mommy was married to someone else and had two boys. She wasn't very happy and she left. I don't know why. Years passed and she met another man who made her very happy and they married and had two girls. But then one of the boys wanted to know where his mommy was because he missed her. So he went looking...and one day he found her and knocked on the door."
/you are the boy/ Kristin wrote.
Jamie nodded. "Yeah. I didn't even know about you two."
/so you are our...half brother?/
Jamie nodded again. "Yeah. I'm Jamie Waite. Nice to meet you," he formally shook their hands, glad that everything was mostly explained. He'd leave their mother to explain the rest when they get older.
Walking back to the house, a small, dirty hand in each of his, Jamie decided he would ask Alex if he could spend part of Christmas break here, if his mother would let him. They did have a few issues to resolve still. Cute little sisters or not, they had a lot of figure out.
***
Are you Jamie's dad?" Kristin asked Alex as soon as Jamie had gone upstairs to shower and change.
Alex began coughing suddenly, as the room became eerily quiet. "No, no I'm not. I'm Alex, Jamie's foster father."
"Oh," she said, not quite sure what a 'foster father' was.
Mary quickly grabbed her oldest daughter, shooing her upstairs to clean up and trying to apologize at the same time.
Alex chuckled softly, "I'm not offended. I know she doesn't know about Jamie's real father, and I like to think of Jamie as my son. But Mary, I'm not trying to keep him from you, I just want what's best for him, like you."
She pursed her lips together and didn't reply.
Time passed slowly, neither party really knowing what to do or say, but knowing that something had to be done. Mary wanted her son back regardless of what everyone else said and Richard and Alex had found an unspoken alliance to keep Jamie with Alex. Although they had different reasons the desired results were the same.
*So, Mary wants me to move in here?* Jamie signed to Alex after he had recapped the earlier events. He wasn't comfortable referring to her as 'mother' or 'mom', which, as he had put it, would imply a relationship they didn't have.
*She wants to make up for the lost time,* Alex explained, trying to be unbiased. This was ultimately Jamie's decision after all.
*It's not like she didn't know where I was for 14 fucking years!* the younger man replied sarcastically. Normally he tried to watch his language around his boss cum foster father, but right now he just didn't care. He knew how to swear like a sailor and he liked it.
Alex wisely didn't comment, shrugging in reply. What could he say? It was true.
*I had to rot in that shit hole, that cesspool! And she has the nerve to sit here in her Polo sweater-set and khakis and say that she wants me back? Well whoop-ti-fucking-do! I am not some dog that barks on command!* Jamie was working himself up into hysterics.
This was a side of him that Alex had never seen. This was 14 years of anger, resentment, hatred, love and dreams coming crashing down around his shoulders. This was having to be loved after the accident, rebuilding a life. This was realizing that everything you ever knew could have possibly been circumvented if the one person in the world who was supposed to care wasn't conceited.
*You want to lose this, Jamie?* Alex finally asked, once Jamie had calmed down a bit.
Jamie looked at him askance, taken aback. *What do you mean?*
*I mean, if you go ranting like this, you might lose your mother forever. Do you want to lose her forever or simply bitch her out?*
Damn Alex, making sense. He shook his shaggy black head, bangs falling in to his face. Alex had tried to get him to cut his hair, but he had become interested in anime and had decided to grow his hair to look like an anime guy. *Okay, so you're saying I can bitch her out, but not too badly?* he'd never heard Alex cuss before.
*Right. Feel free to tell her how you feel, but try to keep the cussing to a minimum, okay?*
Jamie nodded. He stood, wanting to get this done. It was nearly dinnertime and he was ready to talk to his mom and understand her. He was ready to go back home. His sisters were cute, but this wasn't what he had expected. He hadn't known what to expect, but that really didn't matter.
"Mary?" he said, hesitantly, joining his mother and stepfather in the living room. "Alex will translate for you, okay?"
She nodded, not understanding.
Taking a deep breath, he began to rant. He fumed about his life or lack thereof in near poverty, his criminal record, how he became deaf, and more. After nearly twenty minutes he was crying, his voice breaking. To his chagrin he had switched at some point from speaking to signing, finding it easier when he couldn't trust his voice.
More and more, he had noticed, that he couldn't trust his voice. Volume was becoming less of a problem, except in situations where he was excited, like this one. His biggest problem now, was the flatness. He was slurring some of his consonants without realizing it, his voice lacking emotion or word definition. All of this combined with crying made his voice nearly useless.
Finally he took a breath, trying to calm down. "Fuck you," he ended clearly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Gone was the confidant young man that had knocked on the door the evening before, sending their lives into turmoil. In his place was the hurt and scarred boy his mother had all but forgotten about.
Alex was immediately trying to comfort his ward, rubbing his back and holding him, but was intercepted by Mary. She too was crying, wishing she could proclaim her son a liar, but knowing every word was true. And it had all been preventable had she simply taken her children with her when she ran.
She pulled her son close to her, rocking him in her arms as sobbed wracked his body. "Shh," she murmured into his neck, not for comfort, but for herself. The guilt had been overwhelming for the past 24 hours, the silently accusing eyes of both Jamie and Richard almost unbearable. And she deserved it. She deserved it.
***
Jamie and Alex had dinner that night at the Cracker Barrel, the restaurant of road trips. It had been a teary goodbye with email addresses exchanged and promises to write. It wasn't the perfect family reunion, but it wasn't horrible. And Jamie liked his sisters. They were cute.
***
A/N: I want to move to theory. Everything works there.