TITLE : Between hate and love
AUTHOR : Hollyva
EMAIL: Estelle@mic.fr
RATING : PG-13
PAIRING : Harry/Draco
SUMMARY : Harry finds Draco depressed and about to jump off the astronomy tower . They talk, and discover they have more things in common than they thought.
AUTHOR NOTES : Enjoy the story and tell me what you think.
DISCLAIMER : All the characters in this story belong to JK Rowling
------------------------------------------------
Harry was running in the corridors. Running as fast as he could, never looking back. Earlier that night, he had told his best friends something he has kept inside him for a long time. Too long. It had started eating him up from inside, and he had finally told them his secret. The Boy Who Lived was gay.
Wizards were not better than Muggles. They also treated homosexual people like freaks.
Hermione had tried to understand. Like always. But with Ron's screams and insults, she couldn't make up her mind. And Harry hadn't waited for her to say something.
He ran.
Without knowing how, he arrived at the top of the astronomy tower. For a moment he considered jumping. 'It can't be that bad,' he thought. 'It will be over before I even realize it. Then all my troubles will be gone.'
But somehow, something kept him from jumping here and now. It wasn't really what he wanted.
No. What Harry wanted above everything, what he craved, was someone. A person who would understand him and love him for what he was. Someone who would look past the scar and see the shy, insecure boy he is. Someone who wouldn't treat him like the 'World Savior' and would hold him everytime he needed it.
Someone he could love, who would love him back.
Lost in his thoughts, Harry didn't notice another boy ready to jump as well. It took him time to realise who it was. After all, why would he come here ? He had everything he wanted.
"Malfoy?" Harry said, wondering what had made the other boy come here.
Hearing his name, Draco looked quickly at Harry, surprised and shocked to see him there.
'What is he doing here?' Malfoy thought. 'Everybody loves him. Someone has probably refused him something and it's the end of the world. If only he knew.'
"Potter? What are you doing here?" Draco replied, trying his best to look harsh, like usual, but failing miserably.
"I could ask you the same quetsion, Malfoy," Harry said harshly. He wasn't in the mood for this right now
"What I am doing here is my business. Now, Potter, go back to your 'Golden World' and leave me alone!"
Draco was tired, tired of all the games he was playing, all to satisfy his father. He had a good reason not to do so now. He had thought his father would understand. Or at least try to understand.
How wrong he had been! The only reaction he had gotten from his father was beatings, curses, and insults.
He didn't have any reason to obey anymore.
Draco looked at Harry's features while the expressions on his face were changing from shock to anger. Still, Draco could have sworn he saw a bit of sadness in his green eyes.
"You think it's so simple, don't you? I was a baby when Voldemort tried to kill me and I don't remember anything. I didn't know I was a wizard until I got my letter from Hogwarts, which, by the way, was addressed to 'The Cupboard Under the Stairs' cause that was where I lived. Then I arrive at Hogwarts and discover I'm famous and people expect me to defeat Voldemort again. They hate me or love me because of this damned scar. And I can't even tell my secrets to my best friends, because they freak out, like they did tonight. So excuse me, but I don't really want to go back to my 'Golden World'," Harry said, without taking a breath. He didn't care that he was pouring out his heart to his nemesis. He just wanted to stop fighting.
Draco was staring, amazed. He had always thought Harry was spoiled and that everybody loved him and it had made Draco jealous. He didn't understand why Harry had refused his friendship and not Ron's.
Back then, he had figured Harry would want a rich friend to talk about rich things. How wrong he had been! He understood now why Harry chose the Weasel. He had wanted friendship, someone who would care for him. Someone he could tell anything to.
For the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy didn't know what to say. He slowly raised his head to meet Harry's eyes and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I never thought...my father always told me your relatives spoiled you and you were treated like a king. I guess I shouldn't have listened to him."
Harry didn't say anything. He couldn't comprehend what Draco had just said. 'Sorry' and 'Malfoy' were two words you couldn't put in the same sentence.
But Draco wasn't done yet.
"And I guess I shouldn't have made fun of Weasley because of his money. I won't have much money anymore since my father kinda disowned me," Draco added, trying to smile but not really succeeding.
Harry was trying to sort this out. Why was Draco being so nice to him? He didn't understand. But maybe he was wrong about Draco. Maybe the other boy wasn't the cold person Harry had thought he was.
And after all that had happened with Ron.... Harry smiled a little. He had an idea.
"Hi! I'm Harry Potter. Want to be my friend?"
Draco looked up and saw Harry wasn't joking. And it felt so right. The blonde haired boy smiled without realising it. They shook hands and for the first time in his life Draco feels like he has a friend. A real friend, not like those morons Crabbe and Goyle. Someone he can tell everything to.
It's Harry Potter. And it's how it's supposed to be.
***********
DRACO'S POV
After one hour of talking, we find that we have both much in common.
First of all, we are not what people expect us to be. People think we're both spoiled by our parents, but it's not true. My parents hate me and from what he told me, Harry's relatives don't treat him well.
And I wonder....
Is he going to hate me when I tell him I'm gay? An hour ago, I would have been sure of his reaction. Now, I don't know anymore.
So I try to talk to him.
"Harry? " I call.
He raises his head and looks into my eyes. God, he has beautiful eyes!
"If I tell you something, can you promise me you won't laugh or freak out on me?" I ask, fearing another rejection.
"Sure. What are friends for?" Harry says, smiling uneasily. These words sound weird, but I feel the same way.
Seeing he's not going anywhere until I tell him what's going on, I start.
"Have you ever felt something you weren't supposed to feel?"
He laughs quickly before answering.
"More than you may think."
I'm happy with that answer. So I decide to continue.
"That's what has been happening to me lately. There's this person I like a lot. And I don't know if they like me or not. And I don't want to take the risk of being rejected once again. I've felt rejection too much in my life," I say.
I'm not trying to get him to pity me. I just want him to like me for what I am, and not because I'm rich or popular.
"Please Draco. Can you name a girl who wouldn't do anything to be with you?"
I look at him with a smile.
"Who said it was a girl?"
"Well, it's getting interesting," he says, looking at me. He looks wonderful.
And he's not freaked out.
"You don't hate me?" I say with hope in my eyes.
"Hate you because you're gay?" he asks and I nod. "If I hate you for that then I must hate myself too."
What? What does this mean? Could he be...? No, Harry can't be gay. He's too perfect. And I'm not normal.
But a look from him tells me he is. And I'm happy, because I finally have somebody to talk about my problems.
"When did you figure it out?" Harry asks me.
I sigh and answer, "I don't really know. I've had these mixed up feelings for a while and I didn't know what it meant."
I pause and ask, "What about you?"
"Well, I guess I knew for sure last month. I didn't get up one morning and realise 'hey I'm gay'. I thought I could be a year ago when I was dating Cho and didn't feel anything. But now I know. I told Ron a few hours ago. He didn't take it well. I don't even know if he'll talk to me anymore. I guess I made the wrong choice back in first year on the Hogwarts Express," he tells me and I know what he means.
"No, you didn't. I was a prick back then. And I guess you were better off with Gryffindor friends," I tell him, trying to make him feel better.
He looks away for a few minutes and notices the sun is rising.
"We should be going before somebody notices we're gone."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, it's been nice talking to you," I tell him.
"Yes, I think we should do this more often."
I agree completely with that. And within a few seconds I'm up and looking at Harry.
And for a moment, I consider doing something. Something that would change our newly found friendship.
Oh well, we only live once.
I slowly move closer to Harry and bring our lips closer until they brush together.
I kiss him for a few seconds and he's kissing me back. When we pull away, searching for air, he looks at me with a puzzled expression.
Maybe I just made up what happened. Maybe he didn't like the kiss.
But if he did, I think the best times of my life are starting.
*************
So, what did you think? Don't forget to review. The more reviews I get, the sooner I post the next chapter.
Hollyva
AUTHOR : Hollyva
EMAIL: Estelle@mic.fr
RATING : PG-13
PAIRING : Harry/Draco
SUMMARY : Harry finds Draco depressed and about to jump off the astronomy tower . They talk, and discover they have more things in common than they thought.
AUTHOR NOTES : Enjoy the story and tell me what you think.
DISCLAIMER : All the characters in this story belong to JK Rowling
------------------------------------------------
Harry was running in the corridors. Running as fast as he could, never looking back. Earlier that night, he had told his best friends something he has kept inside him for a long time. Too long. It had started eating him up from inside, and he had finally told them his secret. The Boy Who Lived was gay.
Wizards were not better than Muggles. They also treated homosexual people like freaks.
Hermione had tried to understand. Like always. But with Ron's screams and insults, she couldn't make up her mind. And Harry hadn't waited for her to say something.
He ran.
Without knowing how, he arrived at the top of the astronomy tower. For a moment he considered jumping. 'It can't be that bad,' he thought. 'It will be over before I even realize it. Then all my troubles will be gone.'
But somehow, something kept him from jumping here and now. It wasn't really what he wanted.
No. What Harry wanted above everything, what he craved, was someone. A person who would understand him and love him for what he was. Someone who would look past the scar and see the shy, insecure boy he is. Someone who wouldn't treat him like the 'World Savior' and would hold him everytime he needed it.
Someone he could love, who would love him back.
Lost in his thoughts, Harry didn't notice another boy ready to jump as well. It took him time to realise who it was. After all, why would he come here ? He had everything he wanted.
"Malfoy?" Harry said, wondering what had made the other boy come here.
Hearing his name, Draco looked quickly at Harry, surprised and shocked to see him there.
'What is he doing here?' Malfoy thought. 'Everybody loves him. Someone has probably refused him something and it's the end of the world. If only he knew.'
"Potter? What are you doing here?" Draco replied, trying his best to look harsh, like usual, but failing miserably.
"I could ask you the same quetsion, Malfoy," Harry said harshly. He wasn't in the mood for this right now
"What I am doing here is my business. Now, Potter, go back to your 'Golden World' and leave me alone!"
Draco was tired, tired of all the games he was playing, all to satisfy his father. He had a good reason not to do so now. He had thought his father would understand. Or at least try to understand.
How wrong he had been! The only reaction he had gotten from his father was beatings, curses, and insults.
He didn't have any reason to obey anymore.
Draco looked at Harry's features while the expressions on his face were changing from shock to anger. Still, Draco could have sworn he saw a bit of sadness in his green eyes.
"You think it's so simple, don't you? I was a baby when Voldemort tried to kill me and I don't remember anything. I didn't know I was a wizard until I got my letter from Hogwarts, which, by the way, was addressed to 'The Cupboard Under the Stairs' cause that was where I lived. Then I arrive at Hogwarts and discover I'm famous and people expect me to defeat Voldemort again. They hate me or love me because of this damned scar. And I can't even tell my secrets to my best friends, because they freak out, like they did tonight. So excuse me, but I don't really want to go back to my 'Golden World'," Harry said, without taking a breath. He didn't care that he was pouring out his heart to his nemesis. He just wanted to stop fighting.
Draco was staring, amazed. He had always thought Harry was spoiled and that everybody loved him and it had made Draco jealous. He didn't understand why Harry had refused his friendship and not Ron's.
Back then, he had figured Harry would want a rich friend to talk about rich things. How wrong he had been! He understood now why Harry chose the Weasel. He had wanted friendship, someone who would care for him. Someone he could tell anything to.
For the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy didn't know what to say. He slowly raised his head to meet Harry's eyes and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I never thought...my father always told me your relatives spoiled you and you were treated like a king. I guess I shouldn't have listened to him."
Harry didn't say anything. He couldn't comprehend what Draco had just said. 'Sorry' and 'Malfoy' were two words you couldn't put in the same sentence.
But Draco wasn't done yet.
"And I guess I shouldn't have made fun of Weasley because of his money. I won't have much money anymore since my father kinda disowned me," Draco added, trying to smile but not really succeeding.
Harry was trying to sort this out. Why was Draco being so nice to him? He didn't understand. But maybe he was wrong about Draco. Maybe the other boy wasn't the cold person Harry had thought he was.
And after all that had happened with Ron.... Harry smiled a little. He had an idea.
"Hi! I'm Harry Potter. Want to be my friend?"
Draco looked up and saw Harry wasn't joking. And it felt so right. The blonde haired boy smiled without realising it. They shook hands and for the first time in his life Draco feels like he has a friend. A real friend, not like those morons Crabbe and Goyle. Someone he can tell everything to.
It's Harry Potter. And it's how it's supposed to be.
***********
DRACO'S POV
After one hour of talking, we find that we have both much in common.
First of all, we are not what people expect us to be. People think we're both spoiled by our parents, but it's not true. My parents hate me and from what he told me, Harry's relatives don't treat him well.
And I wonder....
Is he going to hate me when I tell him I'm gay? An hour ago, I would have been sure of his reaction. Now, I don't know anymore.
So I try to talk to him.
"Harry? " I call.
He raises his head and looks into my eyes. God, he has beautiful eyes!
"If I tell you something, can you promise me you won't laugh or freak out on me?" I ask, fearing another rejection.
"Sure. What are friends for?" Harry says, smiling uneasily. These words sound weird, but I feel the same way.
Seeing he's not going anywhere until I tell him what's going on, I start.
"Have you ever felt something you weren't supposed to feel?"
He laughs quickly before answering.
"More than you may think."
I'm happy with that answer. So I decide to continue.
"That's what has been happening to me lately. There's this person I like a lot. And I don't know if they like me or not. And I don't want to take the risk of being rejected once again. I've felt rejection too much in my life," I say.
I'm not trying to get him to pity me. I just want him to like me for what I am, and not because I'm rich or popular.
"Please Draco. Can you name a girl who wouldn't do anything to be with you?"
I look at him with a smile.
"Who said it was a girl?"
"Well, it's getting interesting," he says, looking at me. He looks wonderful.
And he's not freaked out.
"You don't hate me?" I say with hope in my eyes.
"Hate you because you're gay?" he asks and I nod. "If I hate you for that then I must hate myself too."
What? What does this mean? Could he be...? No, Harry can't be gay. He's too perfect. And I'm not normal.
But a look from him tells me he is. And I'm happy, because I finally have somebody to talk about my problems.
"When did you figure it out?" Harry asks me.
I sigh and answer, "I don't really know. I've had these mixed up feelings for a while and I didn't know what it meant."
I pause and ask, "What about you?"
"Well, I guess I knew for sure last month. I didn't get up one morning and realise 'hey I'm gay'. I thought I could be a year ago when I was dating Cho and didn't feel anything. But now I know. I told Ron a few hours ago. He didn't take it well. I don't even know if he'll talk to me anymore. I guess I made the wrong choice back in first year on the Hogwarts Express," he tells me and I know what he means.
"No, you didn't. I was a prick back then. And I guess you were better off with Gryffindor friends," I tell him, trying to make him feel better.
He looks away for a few minutes and notices the sun is rising.
"We should be going before somebody notices we're gone."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, it's been nice talking to you," I tell him.
"Yes, I think we should do this more often."
I agree completely with that. And within a few seconds I'm up and looking at Harry.
And for a moment, I consider doing something. Something that would change our newly found friendship.
Oh well, we only live once.
I slowly move closer to Harry and bring our lips closer until they brush together.
I kiss him for a few seconds and he's kissing me back. When we pull away, searching for air, he looks at me with a puzzled expression.
Maybe I just made up what happened. Maybe he didn't like the kiss.
But if he did, I think the best times of my life are starting.
*************
So, what did you think? Don't forget to review. The more reviews I get, the sooner I post the next chapter.
Hollyva