TITLE : Between Hate and Love
AUTHOR : Hollyva
EMAIL: Estelle@mic.fr
RATING : PG-13
PAIRING : Harry/Draco
SUMMARY : Harry finds Draco depressed and about to jump off the astronomy tower. They talk, and discover they have more things in common than they thought.
AUTHOR NOTES : I'm looking for a beta. E-mail me if you are interested.
DISCLAIMER : All the characters in this story belong to JK Rowling.
------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 2 : THE MORNING AFTER
Harry was heading towards the Gryffindor Tower, much slower than when he had left.
After what had happened a few hours before, Harry was in peace. He felt he had what he had really craved for a long time.
Affection. Maybe even love.
He didn't really know what that kiss Draco had given him meant, but he truly had enjoyed it.
When he arrived in his dorm, everybody was asleep, and Harry recognized Neville's regular snores.
'Good,' Harry thought. 'I'm sure Ron has probably told them everything and I'm not ready to face them now.'
Harry quickly changed into his pajamas and went to sleep in a world where everything was perfect; where there was only him and Draco.
And love.
***********
Sleep without nightmares was greatly appreciated by Harry Potter. That's why, this morning, he felt incredibly cheerful.
A quick look at his dorm-mates told him they were still sound asleep, but he still preferred to leave before one of them woke up.
He slowly made his way to the Great Hall, not paying attention to the looks he was getting.
'People talk,' Harry thought. 'Somebody probably heard Ron scream at me and now everybody knows.'
But strangely, this wasn't affecting him as much as he thought it would.
And there was an answer to that: Draco. It was curious how Draco appeared to be the solution to all his problems.
Harry was wondering if Draco would be at breakfast. He needed to have a big conversation with him. About the kiss.
Granted, it has been wonderful, but Harry didn't know if he was ready to be in a relationship. Admitting he had feelings towards guys was one thing; acting upon these feelings was another.
Still, he couldn't help but think how perfect he and Draco would be together.
When he arrived in the Great Hall, it was almost empty. He looked over at the Gryffindor table. There were a few first years, looking at their books. They were probably trying to figure out how to transfigure a goblet into something else, or maybe finding a way to get out of Snape's class alive.
Harry looked at the Slytherin table and smiled. Draco was there, sitting alone and eating slowly while reading some book. Apparently, he hadn't noticed Harry's entrance.
The black-haired man hesitated for an instant. Should he go to the Slytherin table to talk to him? Would Draco be hostile to him if he did?
He was about to make a decision when Draco raised his head and looked into Harry's eyes.
A smile instantly lit up his face. 'God, he's beautiful when he smiles,' Harry thought.
This kind of thought still disturbed him. Even if he had grown to like Draco, it still felt weird to think of him in that way.
The blond rose from his seat and came to see Harry.
But, face to face, neither of them knew what to say. Draco knew he had to say something about the kiss. So he talked first.
"You know Harry, yesterday, about the kiss..." Draco paused for a moment.
Harry wanted to know what Draco had to say. He needed to hear he hadn't dreamed it, that the kiss was real and that it meant something.
"I don't know what got into me. You were being nice to me. Nobody has ever been that nice, and I guess I just asked too much from you with that kiss and I'm sorry," Draco said.
'Oh, definitely not what I wanted to hear,' Harry thought.
"You mean you didn't want it to happen?" Harry asked him. Did he get his hopes up too high? Was he still going to be alone?
"What? Harry, no! That's not what I meant. I really, really liked the kiss, and if there is a possibility of us being together, I'll take it no matter what," Draco explained to him.
The blond boy had liked Harry for a long time. A lot of people were attracted to Harry Potter for a lot of reasons. And Draco was one of them. For more than one year, he had watched Harry from afar, wanting to be with him when he was laughing with his friends, wanting to hold him when he needed it.
He would take everything Harry could give him. The night before, he had been able to control himself. Seeing Harry so close, it was driving him mad.
He just hoped he hadn't damaged their friendship.
Harry was about to respond when he saw Ron and a small group of Gryffindors arriving in the Great Hall.
"Look Draco, I have to go. I'll see you this afternoon after class, ok?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Sure, no problem. I'll be there," replied the other boy, happy that Harry was at least talking to him.
******************
Harry quickly found a seat at the Gryffindor table, with a clear view of the Slytherin table, where Draco was sitting.
Before he could even realise it, Harry was staring at Draco, thinking of the kiss and feeling extremely guilty that he didn't have the occasion to tell Draco he had liked it too.
What would happen if he did tell him? Would there be more kisses? Harry hoped so. He had never been in a relationship before and he didn't really know what to expect.
His fantasy was interrupted by the one who had taken over Draco's place as his enemy.
"So Harry, I didn't see you yesterday. Were you in the dungeon for a shag? It wouldn't surprise me. Or does every gay person in the castle think you're not good enough ? Wouldn't surprise me either!" Ron Weasley said in the most hateful way he could find.
Harry chose to ignore Ron's insults and kept eating his breakfast. But Ron didn't stop there.
" What? Cat got your tongue? Or maybe it's too tired from sucking cocks all night."
Harry swore to himself that he wouldn't lose his temper. He wouldn't give Ron the satisfaction of knowing his remarks were hurting him.
The rest of the breakfast passed quite rapidly. Seeing his insults had no effect whatsoever, Ron stopped and started talking about the Chudley Cannons with Seamus.
Harry, however, ate his meal in peace, mostly thinking about the only thing that gave him the strength to carry on: Draco.
From time to time, Draco would give him a worried look, and Harry would try to reassure him.
He couldn't wait to see him after class.
***************
History of Magic was the last class of the day for Harry, and the most boring. It basically consisted of sitting in a chair and listening to Professor Binns talk about random facts, which, according to Harry, weren't useful.
There were only a few minutes left before the end of the class. Before his meeting with Draco.
And suddenly, by thinking about Draco, the class seemed less boring.
The bell rang a few minutes later and Harry stormed out of the class to meet Draco.
The blond was just in front of the door, waiting for Harry.
"Hey, Draco! How was your day?" Harry was so cheerful. He had never been that cheerful before.
But seeing the look on Draco's face, Harry lost all reason to smile.
"Can we talk somewhere more private?" Draco asked.
"Sure, no problem," Harry replied, while thinking, 'Please don't let him reject me. I couldn't stand that.'
***********
Draco took Harry into an empty classroom. Harry was not liking this. He had been so happy the whole day, and now his happiness was going away.
Draco was avoiding Harry's eyes. He seemed to fight an inner battle, but finally spoke.
"Harry, I don't think we should be doing this."
"Doing what?" answered Harry. "As far as I know, we haven't been doing anything." The black-haired boy was trying to hide his emotions, but failing miserably.
"Harry, I'm really sorry. Yesterday I didn't think. I shouldn't have kissed you. I should have been happy with just being your friend. But I've been stupid and I apologise. I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I know it would scare me at some point and I would just end up hurting us both. Something I want to avoid. I'm really sorry Harry."
With those last words, Draco left the room, looking back at Harry before closing the door behind him.
Harry just stayed there in shock, watching the last bits of his happiness fade away.
TBC
What do you think? Why does Draco act that way? Nobody knows. Well, I do, but I'm not going to tell you.
Sorry to leave you there, but there will probably be a new chapter sometime soon, probably this weekend.
But don't forget to review the story.
Hollyva
AUTHOR : Hollyva
EMAIL: Estelle@mic.fr
RATING : PG-13
PAIRING : Harry/Draco
SUMMARY : Harry finds Draco depressed and about to jump off the astronomy tower. They talk, and discover they have more things in common than they thought.
AUTHOR NOTES : I'm looking for a beta. E-mail me if you are interested.
DISCLAIMER : All the characters in this story belong to JK Rowling.
------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 2 : THE MORNING AFTER
Harry was heading towards the Gryffindor Tower, much slower than when he had left.
After what had happened a few hours before, Harry was in peace. He felt he had what he had really craved for a long time.
Affection. Maybe even love.
He didn't really know what that kiss Draco had given him meant, but he truly had enjoyed it.
When he arrived in his dorm, everybody was asleep, and Harry recognized Neville's regular snores.
'Good,' Harry thought. 'I'm sure Ron has probably told them everything and I'm not ready to face them now.'
Harry quickly changed into his pajamas and went to sleep in a world where everything was perfect; where there was only him and Draco.
And love.
***********
Sleep without nightmares was greatly appreciated by Harry Potter. That's why, this morning, he felt incredibly cheerful.
A quick look at his dorm-mates told him they were still sound asleep, but he still preferred to leave before one of them woke up.
He slowly made his way to the Great Hall, not paying attention to the looks he was getting.
'People talk,' Harry thought. 'Somebody probably heard Ron scream at me and now everybody knows.'
But strangely, this wasn't affecting him as much as he thought it would.
And there was an answer to that: Draco. It was curious how Draco appeared to be the solution to all his problems.
Harry was wondering if Draco would be at breakfast. He needed to have a big conversation with him. About the kiss.
Granted, it has been wonderful, but Harry didn't know if he was ready to be in a relationship. Admitting he had feelings towards guys was one thing; acting upon these feelings was another.
Still, he couldn't help but think how perfect he and Draco would be together.
When he arrived in the Great Hall, it was almost empty. He looked over at the Gryffindor table. There were a few first years, looking at their books. They were probably trying to figure out how to transfigure a goblet into something else, or maybe finding a way to get out of Snape's class alive.
Harry looked at the Slytherin table and smiled. Draco was there, sitting alone and eating slowly while reading some book. Apparently, he hadn't noticed Harry's entrance.
The black-haired man hesitated for an instant. Should he go to the Slytherin table to talk to him? Would Draco be hostile to him if he did?
He was about to make a decision when Draco raised his head and looked into Harry's eyes.
A smile instantly lit up his face. 'God, he's beautiful when he smiles,' Harry thought.
This kind of thought still disturbed him. Even if he had grown to like Draco, it still felt weird to think of him in that way.
The blond rose from his seat and came to see Harry.
But, face to face, neither of them knew what to say. Draco knew he had to say something about the kiss. So he talked first.
"You know Harry, yesterday, about the kiss..." Draco paused for a moment.
Harry wanted to know what Draco had to say. He needed to hear he hadn't dreamed it, that the kiss was real and that it meant something.
"I don't know what got into me. You were being nice to me. Nobody has ever been that nice, and I guess I just asked too much from you with that kiss and I'm sorry," Draco said.
'Oh, definitely not what I wanted to hear,' Harry thought.
"You mean you didn't want it to happen?" Harry asked him. Did he get his hopes up too high? Was he still going to be alone?
"What? Harry, no! That's not what I meant. I really, really liked the kiss, and if there is a possibility of us being together, I'll take it no matter what," Draco explained to him.
The blond boy had liked Harry for a long time. A lot of people were attracted to Harry Potter for a lot of reasons. And Draco was one of them. For more than one year, he had watched Harry from afar, wanting to be with him when he was laughing with his friends, wanting to hold him when he needed it.
He would take everything Harry could give him. The night before, he had been able to control himself. Seeing Harry so close, it was driving him mad.
He just hoped he hadn't damaged their friendship.
Harry was about to respond when he saw Ron and a small group of Gryffindors arriving in the Great Hall.
"Look Draco, I have to go. I'll see you this afternoon after class, ok?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Sure, no problem. I'll be there," replied the other boy, happy that Harry was at least talking to him.
******************
Harry quickly found a seat at the Gryffindor table, with a clear view of the Slytherin table, where Draco was sitting.
Before he could even realise it, Harry was staring at Draco, thinking of the kiss and feeling extremely guilty that he didn't have the occasion to tell Draco he had liked it too.
What would happen if he did tell him? Would there be more kisses? Harry hoped so. He had never been in a relationship before and he didn't really know what to expect.
His fantasy was interrupted by the one who had taken over Draco's place as his enemy.
"So Harry, I didn't see you yesterday. Were you in the dungeon for a shag? It wouldn't surprise me. Or does every gay person in the castle think you're not good enough ? Wouldn't surprise me either!" Ron Weasley said in the most hateful way he could find.
Harry chose to ignore Ron's insults and kept eating his breakfast. But Ron didn't stop there.
" What? Cat got your tongue? Or maybe it's too tired from sucking cocks all night."
Harry swore to himself that he wouldn't lose his temper. He wouldn't give Ron the satisfaction of knowing his remarks were hurting him.
The rest of the breakfast passed quite rapidly. Seeing his insults had no effect whatsoever, Ron stopped and started talking about the Chudley Cannons with Seamus.
Harry, however, ate his meal in peace, mostly thinking about the only thing that gave him the strength to carry on: Draco.
From time to time, Draco would give him a worried look, and Harry would try to reassure him.
He couldn't wait to see him after class.
***************
History of Magic was the last class of the day for Harry, and the most boring. It basically consisted of sitting in a chair and listening to Professor Binns talk about random facts, which, according to Harry, weren't useful.
There were only a few minutes left before the end of the class. Before his meeting with Draco.
And suddenly, by thinking about Draco, the class seemed less boring.
The bell rang a few minutes later and Harry stormed out of the class to meet Draco.
The blond was just in front of the door, waiting for Harry.
"Hey, Draco! How was your day?" Harry was so cheerful. He had never been that cheerful before.
But seeing the look on Draco's face, Harry lost all reason to smile.
"Can we talk somewhere more private?" Draco asked.
"Sure, no problem," Harry replied, while thinking, 'Please don't let him reject me. I couldn't stand that.'
***********
Draco took Harry into an empty classroom. Harry was not liking this. He had been so happy the whole day, and now his happiness was going away.
Draco was avoiding Harry's eyes. He seemed to fight an inner battle, but finally spoke.
"Harry, I don't think we should be doing this."
"Doing what?" answered Harry. "As far as I know, we haven't been doing anything." The black-haired boy was trying to hide his emotions, but failing miserably.
"Harry, I'm really sorry. Yesterday I didn't think. I shouldn't have kissed you. I should have been happy with just being your friend. But I've been stupid and I apologise. I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I know it would scare me at some point and I would just end up hurting us both. Something I want to avoid. I'm really sorry Harry."
With those last words, Draco left the room, looking back at Harry before closing the door behind him.
Harry just stayed there in shock, watching the last bits of his happiness fade away.
TBC
What do you think? Why does Draco act that way? Nobody knows. Well, I do, but I'm not going to tell you.
Sorry to leave you there, but there will probably be a new chapter sometime soon, probably this weekend.
But don't forget to review the story.
Hollyva