'What's the difference between a Took and a potato?'
'I don't know.'
'Then there ain't any; cause the potato doesn't know either.'
'Very funny, cousin. How about this one: What did a Brandybuck do when he went to the ferry and saw it was on the opposite shore?'
'Used the bridge?'
'No, he took a boat and fetched the ferry and then he crossed the river.'
'Ha! How do you know a Took is married?'
'Tell me.'
'He's moved from the room he shared with his sister to a room he shares with his cousin.'
'Not funny. I once went to Buckland and I asked a farmer: 'How do you spend your leisure in these parts?'
And he said: 'In the summer we go boatin' and bed our women.'
'And what do you do in the winter?' I then asked.
He said: 'In the winter we don't go boatin' much.''

Merry and Pippin were at their usual pastime: telling jokes about each other's families. Just as Pippin finished the boating-joke, however, the enchantment fell upon them. Both stopped laughing and stared into each other's eyes deeper than they ever had before (except at a staring competition now and then). What they saw was such a surprise that they gasped simultaneously, then stared again.
'Cousin...'
'Cousin...'
Merry pointed into the darkness beyond the firelight.
'How about if we moved our beds under that fir-tree?'
'What for?' Pippin asked, almost guessing but afraid.
'I'll show you when we get there.'
So they did.

'Merry, what are you doing with my trousers?'
'Borrowing them.'
'What for?'
'I'll show you...'
'Ow! Are you biting me... in there?'
'Nah. You're going to thank me for this... very soon.'
'Owww.... no don't stop Merry oh Merry... thank you...'

'Told you so. It's winter you know. Your turn, and here's your trousers.'
Merry wanted to do it standing up, so they moved a bit away from the fir-tree.
'Promise you won't pee in my mouth?'
'Of course I won't. Just look at me, would this fellow do anything of that sort?'
Pippin braced himself and took Merry's erect member in his mouth, kneeling on the soft moss.
Soon he felt he wanted to give Merry oh so much pleasure, he loved his cousin...

'Yuck! Phew! Slimy!'
'I know what you mean. Let's go destroy some food, all right?'
'Yes... Merry?'
'Pippin?'
'Was I any good?'
'Sure you were. And besides, you proved my point about Tooks and cousins.'
'Aww, no fair!'