Note: Yay! You are still reading? Exellent! With this chapter I vote myself the (drag?)queen of odd pairings! Even if you loved Frodo and Legolas, you may still find this rather...
strange...
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When Gandalf had walked away to meditate, Sam and Gimli were the only ones left at the campfire.
'Strange, how the fire seems to get warmer and warmer...' Sam muttered.
'You know, you remind me of someone back home.' Gimli said, in a strange, soft tone.
'Who is that, mister Dwarf?'
'Don't be offended, but it's a woman.'
'How can that be, when I ain't one?'
'I don't know, it was just a passing impression of the firelight, anyway she had a beard.'
'See! Not like me at all, mister Dwarf.'
'Please call me Gimli.'
'I wonder where master Frodo is.'
'I saw him with Legolas a while ago.'
'What did they do? Look at the stars again?' The two had done this several nights before.
'Probably.'
'Sam, are you married?'
'Me? No, not yet. But there is one girl, Rosie...'
'Do you miss her?'
'You ask! Of course I do.'
'Do you miss.. the way she touches you?'
'Well... funny you should ask tonight, I just thought myself that's exactly what I miss right now.'
'Would you believe if I said I could help you?'
'How?'
'Hmmm. Lie down, just so. Now close your eyes and don't move. Imagine you are back home, alone with... Rosie. Now she comes to you...'
Gimli deftly opened the laces of Sam's breeches, then took his member in his mouth. Somehow he knew exactly what to do.
'Ahh, Rosie!'
Before too long Sam came, jerking violently. Immediately he opened his eyes, and gasped in shock when he saw what Gimli was doing. The dwarf lifted his head, and gestured for silence.
'Well, how did it feel?'
'It was nice, but...'
'No 'but's'
'How can I ever repay you?'
'Well, I too miss the lady I mentioned earlier... but you don't have to take me in your mouth, if you think you could give me your... behind.'
'Oh. Yes. Naturally.'
'There's only one problem. See,' said Gimli and took down his breeches.
'You cannot deny I'm rather large in this department. It would be easier if we had some oil to smooth the way...'
'I have oil in the saddlebag. Shall I get it?'
'Please, do.'
Sam walked uphill to the pasture where they had left Bill the Pony. But he found there was someone there already.
'Gandalf! What are you doing?'
'Nosy hobbit! Never seen a man shagging with a pony before?'
'Not with the pony on top sir, no I haven't!'
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Note: I warned you. Sorry, just felt like being rude.