Disclaimer- We do not own Harry Potter. Or the song that we have put in this chapter (we're actually very happy to NOT own that...)
jokester- Hello, and welcome to our stupid fic where we pointlessly torture the characters of Harry Potter. Who is we? This is my best friend, goodcharlotte'sgurl.
goodcharlotte'sgurl- Why hello, and welcome to our hall of unbearable pain, not to mention torture, that we inflict on our fave characters.
jokester- Yes yes yes. Anyways, we've gained access to the Hogwarts Castle, and Dumbledore has consented to let us run a kareoke night *grins evilly*. This could be fun...
gc'sgurl- At least for us. I doubt the singers will enjoy it, however the more THEY hate it, the more WE love it!
jokester- Oh yes. Now, who should be our first victim?
gc'sgurl- Decisions, decisions. I think that magic's "Prince of Darkness" should be first...
jokester- Awww, do we really have to torture him? I don't want the poor guy to suffer. Too much.
gc'sgurl- That's because you *love* him! Okay, who should go then?
jokester- I DO NOT *LOVE* HIM! But, I do say we should torture someone else...Why not start with Snape?
gc'sgurl- ohhh, I like where this is going...Snape fans, leave now!
jokester- *gets on magical mike* Professer Severus Snape, please come to the platform now.
Snape- NEVER. This is a childish game that should cause me to deduct points from your house.
jokester- Otay then, Snape has officially lost it. We are NOT Hogwarts students, Professor. Anyways...here is Snape, singing...
gc'sgurl- I think that it should be...you know...
jokester- Ah, yes of course. Are you REALLY thinking what I'm thinking?
gc'sgurl- That depends. What are you thinking?
Snape- What are you two talking about? I refuse to participate in this nonsense!
gc'sgurl- Do you EVER shut up?
Snape- Of course I do! Besides, I'm a Professer, and I do not need to be treated with such disrespect...
jokester- Well, THAT point was just proven. I'm thinking...*whispers in gc'sgurls ear*
gc'sgurl- *laughs evilly* Mwuahahaha...I think that this will be, er, interesting.
jokester- Now, to add another evil bit of fun...*calls to Snape sweetly* Oh Snape, would you like a drink before you go on?
Snape- No. I'm not going on.
gc'sgurl- *flutters eyelashes* Oh, please, Snapey? Just have a drink, sing a song, it's all good, clean *cough* fun.
Snape- DON'T CALL ME SNAPEY.
jokester- just take a drink...
Snape- *grumbles* Fine. *swallows Veritasserum*
jokester- *whispers to hall* We have him now! *back on magical mike* Okay, Snape will be singing...
gc'sgurl- You sure you ready for this?
jokester- Oh, one more matter of business. Who would you like to dedicate this song to, Snapey?
Snape- *shouts out as words magically appear in his memory* Minerva McGonagall. *slaps hand over mouth* WHAT THE F*** WAS IN THAT DRINK?!?!?!
jokester- Now, now, Snapey, calm down. We don't want to scare away the children...*laughs evilly* Although it might be too late...
gc'sgurl- *nods, an evil smile appearing* tee hee...Anyways, this is Severus Snape singing...
jokester- One of the worst songs to ever grace our ears...(no offense, Shakira)...OBJECTION TANGO! *hall bursts into laughter*
Snape- ~It's not her fault that she's so irrisistable~
*smiles seductively at Minerva, who's eyes bulge out*
Minerva- If only I had known he felt that way...
jokester- *sniggers* Can YOU feel the love tonight? (Oh, good song idea...) hahaha
gc'sgurl- Do you really want me to answer that?
Snape- *starts disco dancing*
~But all the damage she's caused is unfixable~
jokester- This is SO WRONG...
Minerva- Shut up, you, I want to hear what Sevvy has to say to me. *swoons*
gc'sgurl- OH MI GOD! Old people in 'luv'!
jokester- Scawy. Vewwwwy scawwy.
Snape- ~Every twenty seconds you repeat his name,
But when it comnes to me, You don't care
If I'm alive or dead~
Minerva- *sobs* Oh, but I DO care! Don't die!
jokester- OHMYGOD. Now I'm REALLY scared...But yet, I'm also amused.
gc'sgurl- Blech! I'm just revolted. I'm gonna hurl if they start kiss-er-snogging.
jokester- *shudders* Gag me!
Snape- ~So objection! I don't want to be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother~
jokester- Oh God I'd hope not.
gc'sgurl- That would make this even MORE scary! Not to mention, Snape would be a girl...
Snape- *shoots glare over to table*
~But you don't even bother.
Objection! I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango.
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, I've got to get away!~ *starts to tango with thin air*
jokester- *paling* Can we stop this now?
Minerva- No, I want to listen!
jokester- Excuse me...*retches*
gc'sgurl- Our plan backfired! They are loving this, and WE want to barf.
jokester- Well, I don't exactly WANT to, but I don't seem to have a choice. Oh well, I'm sure it will get better. For US, I mean. *sniggers*
gc'sgurl- I hope so! Should we let Snape continue?
Minerva- You better, or I'll turn you into a monkey.
gc'sgurl- Geez, fiesty ain't she?
jokester- Being a monkey couldn't be THAT bad...
Snape- ~Next to his cheap silicon I look minimal
That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible
But you gotta know small things also count
You better put your feet on the ground
And see what it's about~
Minerva- *shimmies up to Snape* Oh yes, let's see what you're about baby.
jokester- *screams* I did NOT just hear that...
gc'sgurl- MY VIRGIN EARS!!!
Snape/Minerva- ~Objection! I don't wanna be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objection! I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, no no no no no.
I wish, there was a chance for
You and me
I wish, You couldn't find a
Place to be.
Away from here.........!
This is pathetic~
jokester- I agree.
gc'sgurl- Me too.
Minerva- ~And sardonic~
gc's gurl- What the hell?
Snape/Minerva- ~It's sadistic and psychotic~
jokester- WE'RE psychotic for starting this...
Snape- ~Tango is not for three~
Minerva- ~Was never meant to be~
Together- ~But you can try it, rehearse it, or train like a horse
But don't you count on me
Oh don't you count on me BOY!~
jokester- *groans* It's almost over...
Together- ~Objection! I don't want to be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objection! I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, I've got to get away!~
jokester- Well, um, that was, interesting...
gc'sgurl- A bit surreal...you never think it will happen to you..I'm scarred for life.
jokester- As am I.
Snape- Um, headmaster, could you excuse Minerva and I fron the rest of this? *Minerva giggles*
Dumbledore- I suppose Severus.
jokester- *turns away* Well, all, please review that piece of um...strange...art.
gc'sgurl- We hoped you liked it, and look out for chappy two.
jokester- Hello, and welcome to our stupid fic where we pointlessly torture the characters of Harry Potter. Who is we? This is my best friend, goodcharlotte'sgurl.
goodcharlotte'sgurl- Why hello, and welcome to our hall of unbearable pain, not to mention torture, that we inflict on our fave characters.
jokester- Yes yes yes. Anyways, we've gained access to the Hogwarts Castle, and Dumbledore has consented to let us run a kareoke night *grins evilly*. This could be fun...
gc'sgurl- At least for us. I doubt the singers will enjoy it, however the more THEY hate it, the more WE love it!
jokester- Oh yes. Now, who should be our first victim?
gc'sgurl- Decisions, decisions. I think that magic's "Prince of Darkness" should be first...
jokester- Awww, do we really have to torture him? I don't want the poor guy to suffer. Too much.
gc'sgurl- That's because you *love* him! Okay, who should go then?
jokester- I DO NOT *LOVE* HIM! But, I do say we should torture someone else...Why not start with Snape?
gc'sgurl- ohhh, I like where this is going...Snape fans, leave now!
jokester- *gets on magical mike* Professer Severus Snape, please come to the platform now.
Snape- NEVER. This is a childish game that should cause me to deduct points from your house.
jokester- Otay then, Snape has officially lost it. We are NOT Hogwarts students, Professor. Anyways...here is Snape, singing...
gc'sgurl- I think that it should be...you know...
jokester- Ah, yes of course. Are you REALLY thinking what I'm thinking?
gc'sgurl- That depends. What are you thinking?
Snape- What are you two talking about? I refuse to participate in this nonsense!
gc'sgurl- Do you EVER shut up?
Snape- Of course I do! Besides, I'm a Professer, and I do not need to be treated with such disrespect...
jokester- Well, THAT point was just proven. I'm thinking...*whispers in gc'sgurls ear*
gc'sgurl- *laughs evilly* Mwuahahaha...I think that this will be, er, interesting.
jokester- Now, to add another evil bit of fun...*calls to Snape sweetly* Oh Snape, would you like a drink before you go on?
Snape- No. I'm not going on.
gc'sgurl- *flutters eyelashes* Oh, please, Snapey? Just have a drink, sing a song, it's all good, clean *cough* fun.
Snape- DON'T CALL ME SNAPEY.
jokester- just take a drink...
Snape- *grumbles* Fine. *swallows Veritasserum*
jokester- *whispers to hall* We have him now! *back on magical mike* Okay, Snape will be singing...
gc'sgurl- You sure you ready for this?
jokester- Oh, one more matter of business. Who would you like to dedicate this song to, Snapey?
Snape- *shouts out as words magically appear in his memory* Minerva McGonagall. *slaps hand over mouth* WHAT THE F*** WAS IN THAT DRINK?!?!?!
jokester- Now, now, Snapey, calm down. We don't want to scare away the children...*laughs evilly* Although it might be too late...
gc'sgurl- *nods, an evil smile appearing* tee hee...Anyways, this is Severus Snape singing...
jokester- One of the worst songs to ever grace our ears...(no offense, Shakira)...OBJECTION TANGO! *hall bursts into laughter*
Snape- ~It's not her fault that she's so irrisistable~
*smiles seductively at Minerva, who's eyes bulge out*
Minerva- If only I had known he felt that way...
jokester- *sniggers* Can YOU feel the love tonight? (Oh, good song idea...) hahaha
gc'sgurl- Do you really want me to answer that?
Snape- *starts disco dancing*
~But all the damage she's caused is unfixable~
jokester- This is SO WRONG...
Minerva- Shut up, you, I want to hear what Sevvy has to say to me. *swoons*
gc'sgurl- OH MI GOD! Old people in 'luv'!
jokester- Scawy. Vewwwwy scawwy.
Snape- ~Every twenty seconds you repeat his name,
But when it comnes to me, You don't care
If I'm alive or dead~
Minerva- *sobs* Oh, but I DO care! Don't die!
jokester- OHMYGOD. Now I'm REALLY scared...But yet, I'm also amused.
gc'sgurl- Blech! I'm just revolted. I'm gonna hurl if they start kiss-er-snogging.
jokester- *shudders* Gag me!
Snape- ~So objection! I don't want to be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother~
jokester- Oh God I'd hope not.
gc'sgurl- That would make this even MORE scary! Not to mention, Snape would be a girl...
Snape- *shoots glare over to table*
~But you don't even bother.
Objection! I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango.
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, I've got to get away!~ *starts to tango with thin air*
jokester- *paling* Can we stop this now?
Minerva- No, I want to listen!
jokester- Excuse me...*retches*
gc'sgurl- Our plan backfired! They are loving this, and WE want to barf.
jokester- Well, I don't exactly WANT to, but I don't seem to have a choice. Oh well, I'm sure it will get better. For US, I mean. *sniggers*
gc'sgurl- I hope so! Should we let Snape continue?
Minerva- You better, or I'll turn you into a monkey.
gc'sgurl- Geez, fiesty ain't she?
jokester- Being a monkey couldn't be THAT bad...
Snape- ~Next to his cheap silicon I look minimal
That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible
But you gotta know small things also count
You better put your feet on the ground
And see what it's about~
Minerva- *shimmies up to Snape* Oh yes, let's see what you're about baby.
jokester- *screams* I did NOT just hear that...
gc'sgurl- MY VIRGIN EARS!!!
Snape/Minerva- ~Objection! I don't wanna be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objection! I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, no no no no no.
I wish, there was a chance for
You and me
I wish, You couldn't find a
Place to be.
Away from here.........!
This is pathetic~
jokester- I agree.
gc'sgurl- Me too.
Minerva- ~And sardonic~
gc's gurl- What the hell?
Snape/Minerva- ~It's sadistic and psychotic~
jokester- WE'RE psychotic for starting this...
Snape- ~Tango is not for three~
Minerva- ~Was never meant to be~
Together- ~But you can try it, rehearse it, or train like a horse
But don't you count on me
Oh don't you count on me BOY!~
jokester- *groans* It's almost over...
Together- ~Objection! I don't want to be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objection! I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, I've got to get away!~
jokester- Well, um, that was, interesting...
gc'sgurl- A bit surreal...you never think it will happen to you..I'm scarred for life.
jokester- As am I.
Snape- Um, headmaster, could you excuse Minerva and I fron the rest of this? *Minerva giggles*
Dumbledore- I suppose Severus.
jokester- *turns away* Well, all, please review that piece of um...strange...art.
gc'sgurl- We hoped you liked it, and look out for chappy two.