IE! Wow, you probably forgot all about this nifty li'l fic o' mine, didn't
ya? DIDN'T YA?! Well, it kinda... just died on me. Writer's block with
only this one story, I suppose... but once I read this whole thing from the
very beginning I became inspired to bring it back from the dead! YES!
Stare in awe at my rotten fic... of doom! Anyways, I'm sooo sorry for
letting this fic go bye-bye for a while, hopefully I won't feel like
letting it go again... please don't be mad! Be happy! YAY! You get to
read the continuing madness! THE MADNESS COMMANDS YOU! Meh, yah!
I remembered what you all voted for to happen from the last chapter, so here it is and I hope you enjoy!!!
Zim gave a frustrated growl and stormed into the kitchen where he found his companion, sitting on the table, innocently petting the terrified ferret in his lap. GIR looked up at his master and, despite his poor brainpower, expected the worst. But Zim just sighed and continued toward the toilet, not even giving GIR so much as a glare as he muttered, "You and your shenanigans..."
When Zim disappeared down the spiral of the toilet's drain, GIR grabbed the ferret by its tail and jumped off the table. He was anxious to get to Gaz's house to tell her of his victory in creating belligerency between Zim and Dib.
"Hello?" Dib closed the door behind him and looked around quickly for any sign of life in his home. Prof. Membrane took a moment from his busy schedule to poke his head out of the kitchen and greet his son.
"Why, hello there son! Long time no see! What have you been up to? Deeply rethinking your destiny as a real scientist, like me?" Prof. Membrane disappeared back into the kitchen as he spoke.
Dib sighed and chose to follow, wondering if posing a few questions to his father would be useful or not. "No Dad, but... I was wondering if you could help me with something..."
Prof. Membrane stopped himself before walking down into his lab and turned to look down at Dib. "Of course I could! What seems to be the problem, son?"
Dib looked away. "Dad, when Mom was... well, did you and Mom fight a lot?"
The professor seemed somewhat bewildered at Dib's question, but swallowed his confusion and worry and calmly took a seat at the kitchen table. "Of course we did, son... we were two very different people, and when two very different people associate, they're going to have conflict, no matter how much they love each other."
Dib looked down, discomfited.
Prof. Membrane saw Dib's disappointment and continued. "But that doesn't mean that a relationship between two very different people isn't possible, it just means that you have to work at it more."
Dib smiled a bit, his hope restored.
"You're mother was a very difficult person, Dib. I know she made it seem like I was the bad guy, but... I loved her more than she could ever know. The reason I worked so much back then wasn't because it was an obsession, but because I was trying my hardest to support her, you and Gaz. And it took me 14 years to realize that it wasn't the money that supported us, but rather, the love we shared but never showed, as a family..."
Dib shifted his weight to one side uncomfortably and glanced up at his father. They both remained in silence for some time, not noticing the little silver robot that came in from the front door and made its way upstairs.
Prof. Membrane cleared his throat suddenly and stood up. "Well, I hope that answered your question, Dib! Care to come into the lab and help me with my latest invention: the voice operated television set?"
"Nah, that's okay... thanks Dad." Dib turned to leave as his father just shrugged and watched his son leave the kitchen.
"My poor depressed son."
Dib walked upstairs slowly and passed his sister's closed door without a second thought. He stared straight ahead at the GIR-shaped hole in his own door that the monstrous little robot created before Dib left in Zim's captivity on Friday night.
Meanwhile, inside of Gaz's room, the apathetic ten-year-old was glaring down at the same monstrous little robot standing at the foot of her bed. "What're you doing here? I thought I told you to go make Zim and Dib enemies again or something."
"You did! And I did!" GIR smiled and slammed into serious mode with a salute. "Mission accomplished, ma'am!"
Gaz rose a brow and thought about something for a moment before letting her lips curl up into a devious smile. She put down the GS 2 whose buttons she had been eagerly pressing previously and stared deeply into GIR's eyes (who immediately popped back into his usual mode with a nervous smile) as she crouched down in front of him. "... You mean to tell me that you actually took me seriously and got them fighting again?"
GIR nodded and gazed up into Gaz's eyes with adoration.
"... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" What had originally started to sound like hope and gratefulness out of Gaz's mouth suddenly switched to anguish and hate. "I wanted to be the one who broke them up! ME!"
Zim's clueless servant kept a goofy smile plastered on his metallic face as Gaz lowered her eyes with a snarl. "What's done is done... buuut... there's nothing written that says we can't kick a budding relationship when it's down..."
"We?" GIR questioned hopefully.
Gaz blinked and looked as though she was struggling to refuse, but something inside her decided to let GIR join her. After all, he did have a lot of information on Zim and Dib (whether he was all that willing to share it or not) that could prove useful to any future plans on ruining the two confused lovers for good. "Rgh... yes, we."
GIR giggled with excitement and bounced around Gaz to make sure he expressed his joy in the exact extremity that he felt it. The young lady couldn't help but to smile at the robot's annoying antics. But no matter how amused Gaz was, she still needed to show a bit of discontentment. "Before skool starts tomorrow morning," she started, her voice firm, "Come over. But make sure Dib doesn't see you. Understand?"
GIR nodded feverishly, willing to do anything for the object of his admiration.
"Good." Gaz smiled wickedly and immediately started thinking about what she could do to make Dib and Zim even more miserable... while her dear brother was in the other room, recreating the cuts that had quickly turned into scars since the last time he dragged that knife across his arms.
*The Next Day*
Zim halfheartedly ran through the underground section of his base, putting on the last of his clothes. If he didn't hurry, he'd be late for skool. Even though Ms. Bitters never seemed to punish Dib for being late, the Irken felt that skool was just like the academy back home, and even though he didn't really take skool seriously, it was his duty to try and be on time. ... Besides, he didn't want the pathetic earth-childrens to get suspicious of his absence.
After making it through the maze of hallways, up the elevator and through his house, Zim ran out the front door, eyeing his precious lawn gnomes with a wistful frown before sprinting through the gate.
Meanwhile, Gaz was showing the complete opposite of Zim's devotion to skool as she watched for Dib from her seat at the kitchen table while scooping up some Count Cocofang Crunchies in her spoon and slowly bringing it to her open mouth. But when the utensil finally made it to its preoccupied destination, Gaz realized that it was empty. She looked down at the green dog in her lap, who innocently wiped a trail of milk away from his cloth chin and grinned.
Gaz growled and gave him a threatening glare just as Dib came running into the kitchen with his backpack hung over one of his shoulders. He gawked at Gaz's presence, not noticing GIR. "Why are you still here? You're gonna be late, y'know..."
Gaz shrugged. "So are you if you keep talking to me."
Dib decided not to make any sense of his dark sibling; she wouldn't have given a reason for her sloth anyways. With an indifferent shrug much like his sister's, Dib turned around and, with a sudden slightly panicky look of being rushed, ran out the front door.
The second Dib left, Gaz looked down at GIR with a devilish smile. "You know what to do, right?"
The puppy grinned evilly, sounding very serious and, amazingly, quite ominous from behind the green mask. "Yes."
"Good. Now get going."
The grave tone of the demented robot's voice was understandingly replaced by a confused sounding whimper. "You dun wanna come with?"
Gaz stared at GIR emotionlessly, then looked down at her unfinished bowl of Cocosplodies. "... Nyeh, you go ahead... I'll catch up."
GIR squealed with unsurpassed glee and bounded out of the house, forgetting to close the front door, yet again.
Gaz let out a sigh of respite and leaned back in her chair. "FINALLY! That oughta keep that retarded robot busy for a while." She pulled out a camouflaged walkie-talkie from her pocket and spoke into it urgently. "Hey. Get ready, Dib's on his way."
A strangely familiar voice came from the other end, sounding dejected "... No! No, you forgot to use our cool code names!"
Gaz growled and squeezed the communicator in her hand, her angry grip causing it to creak and crack under the stress. "Forget the code names! Now just go before you let him get to Zim first and screw the whole thing up."
"But... I spent hours thinking them up! Especially yours! Yours is so cool! Please?"
The little girl gritted her teeth. "FINE. Anything to get you to shut up and do your job."
The now-chipper voice being channeled through the walkie-talkie squeaked happily before officially stating, "'Vampire Piggy Hunter', this is 'Nutz For Zim'. Do you copy? Over."
"... Yes. Yes, I copy. Now hurry up an -"
"Good! And let me just say that I'm sooo happy you fixed my eyeballs! ... Even though I didn't really see anything wrong with them, it was sweet of yo -"
"WOULD YOU JUST..." Gaz snarled, took a deep breath and forced her outrage to a smoldering ire. "'Nutz For Zim', assume battle position at the proper station. You know what to do from there. And do NOT fail me, or your precious Zim will suffer brutally at my hands. Is that clear? ... Over."
Despite Gaz's menacing threat, the voice sounded just as cheerful as it had before. "10-4, 'Vampire Piggy Hunter'! 'Nutz For Zim' over and out!"
"Uh huh. Okay." With a satisfied grin, Gaz tucked the walkie-talkie back into her pocket, shoved one last gigantic spoonful of cereal in her mouth, snatched her backpack off the floor and headed out the front door, not bothering to close it either.
Zim trotted up the skool steps hurriedly, wondering how he would approach Dib that day, if he should approach him at all. But before he could come up with a reasonable answer and walk through the skool's double doors, he was suddenly hugged from behind. With a surprised smile, he tried to look over his shoulder, thinking that the warm body behind him was Dib.
Boy, was he EVER wrong.
"... KEEF?!"
The boy smiled incredulously. "You remembered my name!"
Zim yelped and struggled to get out of Keef's disgusting embrace. "How can this be?! You should still see that hideous earth-squirrel as your friend, not me! ZIM'S INVENTIONS NEVER FAIL!"
Keef held the Irken tighter, beaming with oblivious joy. "Oh, Zim! I've missed you too! And I'm sorry if I wasn't a very good friend to you before... this time I'll try harder, I promise! 'Kay?"
"No! No, Keef, I order you... eh... as a FRIEND... to let me go this very instant! You're presence is -"
"Aw Zim, you don't like hugs?"
Zim gasped for air and continued to try to yank Keef's arms from their hold around his belly. "No! Not hugs from you, at least... now get off of me!"
The unfazed Keef did as Zim demanded... only to spin the dazed alien around, pull him close and forcefully plant his chapped lips on Zim's, thinking that this sign of affection would much more appropriate and would be sure to please his bestest friend.
And who would be so lucky as to appear just at that very moment?
... Heh, you guessed it!
Dib dropped his hands at his sides and gawked at the scene before him in disbelief. "Zim?!"
The Irken, just now realizing what was happening through his shock, pushed the bothersome stink-beast away and stared down at the human who he loved unconditionally with an uneasy aspect. "Dib! Uh, heh, hey! How's it goin'?"
Dib frowned, looking absolutely crushed.
Keef looked between the two boys questioningly as Zim was quick to defend himself. "It's... it's really not what you think, Dib... I would never -"
"THE HELL YOU WOULDN'T!" Dib suddenly appeared infuriated as he turned and ran in the opposite direction.
"Wait!" Zim looked after Dib helplessly before shooting Keef a glare that could easily kill. Then, with a troubled expression on his face, he ran down the steps after his lover.
Keef watched Zim run off sadly. "It's the waffles, huh..."
Gaz, who had seen the whole thing from her hiding place in an alley across the street, began to snicker wickedly. She walked over to the sorry little boy and handed him one of the pictures Dib had taken of Zim in his disguise that she had found in the unfruitful packet of photos the day before. Hoping that her kind gesture wouldn't promote too many feelings of joy and special-ness, she grunted and murmured spiritlessly, "Here. For a job well done, just as I promised."
Immediately after he had received the picture, Keef's rounded face lit up with restored felicity. "Oh, thank you Gaz! Thank you so much! I'll treasure it forever! Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever!"
Gaz grumbled something that almost sounded like a "you're welcome" and started to run in the direction that Zim and Dib had gone, eager to see what would happen next.
*Meanwhile...*
GIR half-heartedly scanned the thick mass of disoriented people around him for any sign of his master. He noticed that some of the humans lacked clothes but still seemed to be enjoying themselves, throwing colorful beads at people who chose to display certain parts of their bodies that the innocent little robot was not familiar with. People danced through the streets in feathery clothes, leading large furry floats through the chaotic scene of tipped bottles and human flesh. GIR tried to stay focused, but found that even Gaz's grim beauty couldn't outdo that of the tall and shapely young woman who bent down to pet him. Forgetting all about Gaz's orders to make Zim and Dib miserable, the green puppy wagged his tail (somehow) in response to the cooing girl above, inviting and causing her to pick him up and hold him close to her barely-covered chest. She giggled and spun around a bit before losing her balance, as well as her consciousness, and falling into the arms of a nearby hobo.
The old man smiled toothlessly. "Yup, this one's a keeper alright... care to join us, pup?"
GIR smiled vacantly.
"Great! Maybe you can even be the one in the middle, yeah? Heh heh..."
*Shudders* *Okay, Back To Zim and Dib...*
"Dib, stop and listen to me for just a second, please!"
"Get away from me!"
The boy turned sharply into a trashy lingerie store without even knowing it while trying to lose Zim. But the Irken was (surprisingly) a lot smarter than Dib had figured. He turned the same corner, literally running into the human and making them both fall to the floor in a thrashing heap of limbs. Luckily, there wasn't anyone shopping in the poorly lit, tasteless store, and the owner wasn't anywhere to be found, so the equivocal couple didn't create a scene amongst anyone but themselves as they kicked at each other feverishly; Dib trying to cause some physical pain to the being on top of him while Zim was simply trying to get off.
Dib reached up and swatted Zim's wig off his head, exposing the sensitive antennae beneath. In a clever attempt to weaken the Irken, Dib grabbed one of them and pulled it, as hard as he could, to the side.
Zim hollered in pain and scampered off of the body below, easing the tension on his antenna. With his pale green face scrunched in semi-anger and, above all, anguish, he wrapped his talon-like hands around Dib's wrist and ground his claws into the boy's flesh.
Even through Zim's thick leather gloves, Dib could feel could feel the penetrative fingertips pinch his skin. With a cry of pain, he let go of the alien's appendage, hoping that he would release his arms as well.
But Zim had something else in mind. When he felt that his strength had gained the upper hand, he removed one of his talons from its grasp around Dib's wrist and used it to take a hold of the other one. He crawled back on top of the human and pinned both of his wrists to the floor above him, ensuring that Dib would not longer be much of a threat.
This action didn't settle well with the boy.
"GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU LYING, CHEATING SON OF A -"
"DIB!"
"What?"
"Shut up."
"Okay."
Zim scowled and glowered down at the ignorant human. "You expect total strangers to believe you when you make your selfish claims about beings from other origins existing, yet refuse to trust the people who care about you the most when they insist their own statement to be true. I don't know if it's just you or this whole filthy race, but I'm having a large amount of difficulty understanding how you can be so hypocritical."
Dib just stared up at Zim, his honey eyes wide with wonder, as if he were a little child considering the words of a wise elder.
"Now you KNOW that I would never do that to you purposely, Dib, ESPECIALLY with another human. You're... you're the only one."
Though Zim's words sounded cold and implacable, Dib sensed the longing plea behind them and felt the grip on his arms soften.
Letting some emotion show through his unnatural lavender eyes, Zim gazed down at Dib's appeasing face and resisted the urge to shower it with kisses. "Believe me..."
Dib smiled softly and nodded. "I do... and... I'm sorry... for everything..."
Zim's face lit up with contentment. He grinned, leaned down closer to the boy's patient lips and whispered almost saucily, "Victory for Zim..."
Dib seemed to follow suit at first, smirking playfully, but soon realized that they were in public and began to glance around warily while trying to postpone the raring Irken. "Zim, I don't know..."
"Eh?" Zim followed the multiple directions of Dib's darting pupils and scoffed. "Psh, I don't see anyone we need to be worrying about right now..." He grinned seductively and nestled his parted mouth between the warmth of Dib's neck and the collar of his trench coat-like-jacket.
Dib squirmed in both pleasure and vexation and tried to get his hands free from Zim's tight clasp. Still smiling, though sounding utterly disquieted, he lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. "No, seriously Zim, with our luck someone's bound to see us..."
Zim nibbled at Dib's earlobe hungrily, stopping only to mutter a response that, if left unaffected by the situation, would've sounded unusual from anyone, even a proud Irken such as Zim himself. "I don't care; let them see..."
As Zim returned to lavishing the boy's soft neck with sloppy smooches, Dib noticed some movement at the store's opening. With a strangled gasp, he urgently nodded toward the being that had discovered them, instructing Zim to look as well.
The Irken, suddenly sharing Dib's fear, cringed and looked over his shoulder to see...
OH THE CLIFFHANGER-NESS! Quick, take my hand, don't let me fall, and tell me who sneaked up on Zim and Dib!
The storeowner who is unfazed by the sight and offers our beloved couple some free lingerie... ehehehe!
Gaz, who had seen the whole thing and is preparing to tell Dib some evil lies about Zim and Keef... ooo...
Keef, who wants to get in on the action... *Swallows hard*
Or GIR, who's wasted and tries to do... GIR-like stuff... fun!
Prepare your bladders for imminent release at the coming of my next chapter! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, and sorry if it takes a li'l while for me to update! Cheerios!
- SwEeTiNsAnItY
I remembered what you all voted for to happen from the last chapter, so here it is and I hope you enjoy!!!
Zim gave a frustrated growl and stormed into the kitchen where he found his companion, sitting on the table, innocently petting the terrified ferret in his lap. GIR looked up at his master and, despite his poor brainpower, expected the worst. But Zim just sighed and continued toward the toilet, not even giving GIR so much as a glare as he muttered, "You and your shenanigans..."
When Zim disappeared down the spiral of the toilet's drain, GIR grabbed the ferret by its tail and jumped off the table. He was anxious to get to Gaz's house to tell her of his victory in creating belligerency between Zim and Dib.
"Hello?" Dib closed the door behind him and looked around quickly for any sign of life in his home. Prof. Membrane took a moment from his busy schedule to poke his head out of the kitchen and greet his son.
"Why, hello there son! Long time no see! What have you been up to? Deeply rethinking your destiny as a real scientist, like me?" Prof. Membrane disappeared back into the kitchen as he spoke.
Dib sighed and chose to follow, wondering if posing a few questions to his father would be useful or not. "No Dad, but... I was wondering if you could help me with something..."
Prof. Membrane stopped himself before walking down into his lab and turned to look down at Dib. "Of course I could! What seems to be the problem, son?"
Dib looked away. "Dad, when Mom was... well, did you and Mom fight a lot?"
The professor seemed somewhat bewildered at Dib's question, but swallowed his confusion and worry and calmly took a seat at the kitchen table. "Of course we did, son... we were two very different people, and when two very different people associate, they're going to have conflict, no matter how much they love each other."
Dib looked down, discomfited.
Prof. Membrane saw Dib's disappointment and continued. "But that doesn't mean that a relationship between two very different people isn't possible, it just means that you have to work at it more."
Dib smiled a bit, his hope restored.
"You're mother was a very difficult person, Dib. I know she made it seem like I was the bad guy, but... I loved her more than she could ever know. The reason I worked so much back then wasn't because it was an obsession, but because I was trying my hardest to support her, you and Gaz. And it took me 14 years to realize that it wasn't the money that supported us, but rather, the love we shared but never showed, as a family..."
Dib shifted his weight to one side uncomfortably and glanced up at his father. They both remained in silence for some time, not noticing the little silver robot that came in from the front door and made its way upstairs.
Prof. Membrane cleared his throat suddenly and stood up. "Well, I hope that answered your question, Dib! Care to come into the lab and help me with my latest invention: the voice operated television set?"
"Nah, that's okay... thanks Dad." Dib turned to leave as his father just shrugged and watched his son leave the kitchen.
"My poor depressed son."
Dib walked upstairs slowly and passed his sister's closed door without a second thought. He stared straight ahead at the GIR-shaped hole in his own door that the monstrous little robot created before Dib left in Zim's captivity on Friday night.
Meanwhile, inside of Gaz's room, the apathetic ten-year-old was glaring down at the same monstrous little robot standing at the foot of her bed. "What're you doing here? I thought I told you to go make Zim and Dib enemies again or something."
"You did! And I did!" GIR smiled and slammed into serious mode with a salute. "Mission accomplished, ma'am!"
Gaz rose a brow and thought about something for a moment before letting her lips curl up into a devious smile. She put down the GS 2 whose buttons she had been eagerly pressing previously and stared deeply into GIR's eyes (who immediately popped back into his usual mode with a nervous smile) as she crouched down in front of him. "... You mean to tell me that you actually took me seriously and got them fighting again?"
GIR nodded and gazed up into Gaz's eyes with adoration.
"... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" What had originally started to sound like hope and gratefulness out of Gaz's mouth suddenly switched to anguish and hate. "I wanted to be the one who broke them up! ME!"
Zim's clueless servant kept a goofy smile plastered on his metallic face as Gaz lowered her eyes with a snarl. "What's done is done... buuut... there's nothing written that says we can't kick a budding relationship when it's down..."
"We?" GIR questioned hopefully.
Gaz blinked and looked as though she was struggling to refuse, but something inside her decided to let GIR join her. After all, he did have a lot of information on Zim and Dib (whether he was all that willing to share it or not) that could prove useful to any future plans on ruining the two confused lovers for good. "Rgh... yes, we."
GIR giggled with excitement and bounced around Gaz to make sure he expressed his joy in the exact extremity that he felt it. The young lady couldn't help but to smile at the robot's annoying antics. But no matter how amused Gaz was, she still needed to show a bit of discontentment. "Before skool starts tomorrow morning," she started, her voice firm, "Come over. But make sure Dib doesn't see you. Understand?"
GIR nodded feverishly, willing to do anything for the object of his admiration.
"Good." Gaz smiled wickedly and immediately started thinking about what she could do to make Dib and Zim even more miserable... while her dear brother was in the other room, recreating the cuts that had quickly turned into scars since the last time he dragged that knife across his arms.
*The Next Day*
Zim halfheartedly ran through the underground section of his base, putting on the last of his clothes. If he didn't hurry, he'd be late for skool. Even though Ms. Bitters never seemed to punish Dib for being late, the Irken felt that skool was just like the academy back home, and even though he didn't really take skool seriously, it was his duty to try and be on time. ... Besides, he didn't want the pathetic earth-childrens to get suspicious of his absence.
After making it through the maze of hallways, up the elevator and through his house, Zim ran out the front door, eyeing his precious lawn gnomes with a wistful frown before sprinting through the gate.
Meanwhile, Gaz was showing the complete opposite of Zim's devotion to skool as she watched for Dib from her seat at the kitchen table while scooping up some Count Cocofang Crunchies in her spoon and slowly bringing it to her open mouth. But when the utensil finally made it to its preoccupied destination, Gaz realized that it was empty. She looked down at the green dog in her lap, who innocently wiped a trail of milk away from his cloth chin and grinned.
Gaz growled and gave him a threatening glare just as Dib came running into the kitchen with his backpack hung over one of his shoulders. He gawked at Gaz's presence, not noticing GIR. "Why are you still here? You're gonna be late, y'know..."
Gaz shrugged. "So are you if you keep talking to me."
Dib decided not to make any sense of his dark sibling; she wouldn't have given a reason for her sloth anyways. With an indifferent shrug much like his sister's, Dib turned around and, with a sudden slightly panicky look of being rushed, ran out the front door.
The second Dib left, Gaz looked down at GIR with a devilish smile. "You know what to do, right?"
The puppy grinned evilly, sounding very serious and, amazingly, quite ominous from behind the green mask. "Yes."
"Good. Now get going."
The grave tone of the demented robot's voice was understandingly replaced by a confused sounding whimper. "You dun wanna come with?"
Gaz stared at GIR emotionlessly, then looked down at her unfinished bowl of Cocosplodies. "... Nyeh, you go ahead... I'll catch up."
GIR squealed with unsurpassed glee and bounded out of the house, forgetting to close the front door, yet again.
Gaz let out a sigh of respite and leaned back in her chair. "FINALLY! That oughta keep that retarded robot busy for a while." She pulled out a camouflaged walkie-talkie from her pocket and spoke into it urgently. "Hey. Get ready, Dib's on his way."
A strangely familiar voice came from the other end, sounding dejected "... No! No, you forgot to use our cool code names!"
Gaz growled and squeezed the communicator in her hand, her angry grip causing it to creak and crack under the stress. "Forget the code names! Now just go before you let him get to Zim first and screw the whole thing up."
"But... I spent hours thinking them up! Especially yours! Yours is so cool! Please?"
The little girl gritted her teeth. "FINE. Anything to get you to shut up and do your job."
The now-chipper voice being channeled through the walkie-talkie squeaked happily before officially stating, "'Vampire Piggy Hunter', this is 'Nutz For Zim'. Do you copy? Over."
"... Yes. Yes, I copy. Now hurry up an -"
"Good! And let me just say that I'm sooo happy you fixed my eyeballs! ... Even though I didn't really see anything wrong with them, it was sweet of yo -"
"WOULD YOU JUST..." Gaz snarled, took a deep breath and forced her outrage to a smoldering ire. "'Nutz For Zim', assume battle position at the proper station. You know what to do from there. And do NOT fail me, or your precious Zim will suffer brutally at my hands. Is that clear? ... Over."
Despite Gaz's menacing threat, the voice sounded just as cheerful as it had before. "10-4, 'Vampire Piggy Hunter'! 'Nutz For Zim' over and out!"
"Uh huh. Okay." With a satisfied grin, Gaz tucked the walkie-talkie back into her pocket, shoved one last gigantic spoonful of cereal in her mouth, snatched her backpack off the floor and headed out the front door, not bothering to close it either.
Zim trotted up the skool steps hurriedly, wondering how he would approach Dib that day, if he should approach him at all. But before he could come up with a reasonable answer and walk through the skool's double doors, he was suddenly hugged from behind. With a surprised smile, he tried to look over his shoulder, thinking that the warm body behind him was Dib.
Boy, was he EVER wrong.
"... KEEF?!"
The boy smiled incredulously. "You remembered my name!"
Zim yelped and struggled to get out of Keef's disgusting embrace. "How can this be?! You should still see that hideous earth-squirrel as your friend, not me! ZIM'S INVENTIONS NEVER FAIL!"
Keef held the Irken tighter, beaming with oblivious joy. "Oh, Zim! I've missed you too! And I'm sorry if I wasn't a very good friend to you before... this time I'll try harder, I promise! 'Kay?"
"No! No, Keef, I order you... eh... as a FRIEND... to let me go this very instant! You're presence is -"
"Aw Zim, you don't like hugs?"
Zim gasped for air and continued to try to yank Keef's arms from their hold around his belly. "No! Not hugs from you, at least... now get off of me!"
The unfazed Keef did as Zim demanded... only to spin the dazed alien around, pull him close and forcefully plant his chapped lips on Zim's, thinking that this sign of affection would much more appropriate and would be sure to please his bestest friend.
And who would be so lucky as to appear just at that very moment?
... Heh, you guessed it!
Dib dropped his hands at his sides and gawked at the scene before him in disbelief. "Zim?!"
The Irken, just now realizing what was happening through his shock, pushed the bothersome stink-beast away and stared down at the human who he loved unconditionally with an uneasy aspect. "Dib! Uh, heh, hey! How's it goin'?"
Dib frowned, looking absolutely crushed.
Keef looked between the two boys questioningly as Zim was quick to defend himself. "It's... it's really not what you think, Dib... I would never -"
"THE HELL YOU WOULDN'T!" Dib suddenly appeared infuriated as he turned and ran in the opposite direction.
"Wait!" Zim looked after Dib helplessly before shooting Keef a glare that could easily kill. Then, with a troubled expression on his face, he ran down the steps after his lover.
Keef watched Zim run off sadly. "It's the waffles, huh..."
Gaz, who had seen the whole thing from her hiding place in an alley across the street, began to snicker wickedly. She walked over to the sorry little boy and handed him one of the pictures Dib had taken of Zim in his disguise that she had found in the unfruitful packet of photos the day before. Hoping that her kind gesture wouldn't promote too many feelings of joy and special-ness, she grunted and murmured spiritlessly, "Here. For a job well done, just as I promised."
Immediately after he had received the picture, Keef's rounded face lit up with restored felicity. "Oh, thank you Gaz! Thank you so much! I'll treasure it forever! Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever!"
Gaz grumbled something that almost sounded like a "you're welcome" and started to run in the direction that Zim and Dib had gone, eager to see what would happen next.
*Meanwhile...*
GIR half-heartedly scanned the thick mass of disoriented people around him for any sign of his master. He noticed that some of the humans lacked clothes but still seemed to be enjoying themselves, throwing colorful beads at people who chose to display certain parts of their bodies that the innocent little robot was not familiar with. People danced through the streets in feathery clothes, leading large furry floats through the chaotic scene of tipped bottles and human flesh. GIR tried to stay focused, but found that even Gaz's grim beauty couldn't outdo that of the tall and shapely young woman who bent down to pet him. Forgetting all about Gaz's orders to make Zim and Dib miserable, the green puppy wagged his tail (somehow) in response to the cooing girl above, inviting and causing her to pick him up and hold him close to her barely-covered chest. She giggled and spun around a bit before losing her balance, as well as her consciousness, and falling into the arms of a nearby hobo.
The old man smiled toothlessly. "Yup, this one's a keeper alright... care to join us, pup?"
GIR smiled vacantly.
"Great! Maybe you can even be the one in the middle, yeah? Heh heh..."
*Shudders* *Okay, Back To Zim and Dib...*
"Dib, stop and listen to me for just a second, please!"
"Get away from me!"
The boy turned sharply into a trashy lingerie store without even knowing it while trying to lose Zim. But the Irken was (surprisingly) a lot smarter than Dib had figured. He turned the same corner, literally running into the human and making them both fall to the floor in a thrashing heap of limbs. Luckily, there wasn't anyone shopping in the poorly lit, tasteless store, and the owner wasn't anywhere to be found, so the equivocal couple didn't create a scene amongst anyone but themselves as they kicked at each other feverishly; Dib trying to cause some physical pain to the being on top of him while Zim was simply trying to get off.
Dib reached up and swatted Zim's wig off his head, exposing the sensitive antennae beneath. In a clever attempt to weaken the Irken, Dib grabbed one of them and pulled it, as hard as he could, to the side.
Zim hollered in pain and scampered off of the body below, easing the tension on his antenna. With his pale green face scrunched in semi-anger and, above all, anguish, he wrapped his talon-like hands around Dib's wrist and ground his claws into the boy's flesh.
Even through Zim's thick leather gloves, Dib could feel could feel the penetrative fingertips pinch his skin. With a cry of pain, he let go of the alien's appendage, hoping that he would release his arms as well.
But Zim had something else in mind. When he felt that his strength had gained the upper hand, he removed one of his talons from its grasp around Dib's wrist and used it to take a hold of the other one. He crawled back on top of the human and pinned both of his wrists to the floor above him, ensuring that Dib would not longer be much of a threat.
This action didn't settle well with the boy.
"GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU LYING, CHEATING SON OF A -"
"DIB!"
"What?"
"Shut up."
"Okay."
Zim scowled and glowered down at the ignorant human. "You expect total strangers to believe you when you make your selfish claims about beings from other origins existing, yet refuse to trust the people who care about you the most when they insist their own statement to be true. I don't know if it's just you or this whole filthy race, but I'm having a large amount of difficulty understanding how you can be so hypocritical."
Dib just stared up at Zim, his honey eyes wide with wonder, as if he were a little child considering the words of a wise elder.
"Now you KNOW that I would never do that to you purposely, Dib, ESPECIALLY with another human. You're... you're the only one."
Though Zim's words sounded cold and implacable, Dib sensed the longing plea behind them and felt the grip on his arms soften.
Letting some emotion show through his unnatural lavender eyes, Zim gazed down at Dib's appeasing face and resisted the urge to shower it with kisses. "Believe me..."
Dib smiled softly and nodded. "I do... and... I'm sorry... for everything..."
Zim's face lit up with contentment. He grinned, leaned down closer to the boy's patient lips and whispered almost saucily, "Victory for Zim..."
Dib seemed to follow suit at first, smirking playfully, but soon realized that they were in public and began to glance around warily while trying to postpone the raring Irken. "Zim, I don't know..."
"Eh?" Zim followed the multiple directions of Dib's darting pupils and scoffed. "Psh, I don't see anyone we need to be worrying about right now..." He grinned seductively and nestled his parted mouth between the warmth of Dib's neck and the collar of his trench coat-like-jacket.
Dib squirmed in both pleasure and vexation and tried to get his hands free from Zim's tight clasp. Still smiling, though sounding utterly disquieted, he lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. "No, seriously Zim, with our luck someone's bound to see us..."
Zim nibbled at Dib's earlobe hungrily, stopping only to mutter a response that, if left unaffected by the situation, would've sounded unusual from anyone, even a proud Irken such as Zim himself. "I don't care; let them see..."
As Zim returned to lavishing the boy's soft neck with sloppy smooches, Dib noticed some movement at the store's opening. With a strangled gasp, he urgently nodded toward the being that had discovered them, instructing Zim to look as well.
The Irken, suddenly sharing Dib's fear, cringed and looked over his shoulder to see...
OH THE CLIFFHANGER-NESS! Quick, take my hand, don't let me fall, and tell me who sneaked up on Zim and Dib!
The storeowner who is unfazed by the sight and offers our beloved couple some free lingerie... ehehehe!
Gaz, who had seen the whole thing and is preparing to tell Dib some evil lies about Zim and Keef... ooo...
Keef, who wants to get in on the action... *Swallows hard*
Or GIR, who's wasted and tries to do... GIR-like stuff... fun!
Prepare your bladders for imminent release at the coming of my next chapter! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, and sorry if it takes a li'l while for me to update! Cheerios!
- SwEeTiNsAnItY