Ron was amusing himself all the way to Lockhart's class, by making fun of Snape and Malfoy. Harry however was not listening. He couldn't stop thinking about the mess in Snape's room. It seemed strange that it had happened just as he had the feelings that something was going to happen. And he had the feeling that worse things were about to happen.
"Oh that feels good Snape, oooo harder harder!!!" Ron exclaimed, trying to make a face as if he was Malfoy getting assraped by Snape. In reality he looked like he was constipated. He looked over at Harry, who had been ignoring him this whole time.
Ron smacked Harry. "You weren't listening!!!" He said looking very offending. This was the first time in the year they had known each other, that Harry had ignored him.
"I'm sorry Ron, it's just----" Harry stopped and his jaw dropped.
Professor Lockhart was up on top of his desk dancing, and not only that, but he was singing!!! "she only want me for my pimp juice!!! oooooo oooooo!!! I think I need to let her loose!!!!"
Harry covered his ears, and tried to block out the horrible sound of Lockhart's singing. Ron laughed under his breath, and whispered, " He sounds like a chicken trying to pass a kidney stone!!!" Harry gave Ron a very odd look.
Unfortunately, Lockhart heard this, and jumped down off his desk. He walked over to Harry and Ron, his face glowing a deep shade of red. By this time most of the class had arrived, and were either laughing, or looked very scared.
Lockhart tried to save his ass, and quickly blurted out, "I was just demonstrating to Mr. Potter and Mr. Wealsey the wrong way to sing." he finished with his famous smile.
The girls sighed in awe, and the guys rolled their eyes.
The rest of the class didn't go too much better. If possible Lockhart was being even more of an idiot than usual. And they learned even less than they normally would. He didn't touch on the Dark Arts at all.
Professor Lockhart decided it would be a fun idea to take a break from the normal class activities, and have a dancing lesson today. "In my day I was the hottest date at the Yule ball, girls would fight over who got to dance with me. Often their would even be a line. So who's going be the lucky one today?" He bragged with a smile.
Ron made fake puking noises, and a few of the other boys laughed. Hermonie gave him an evil look.
"How about you Ron?" Lockhart asked with a smile, and extended a hand. Ron backed up looking as if he had just seen Lockhart naked.
Many of the girls were giggling. Lockhart put his arm around Ron, and Ron looked as if he was going to cry. He gave harry a pleading look, and mouthed, "Help me!!!" Harry looked like he was deep in thought. Lockhart tapped Ron on the shoulder, and said, "I'm just kidding, buddy!!!"
Ron crossed his arms in front of him, and looked as if he wanted to kill someone. Lockhart turned his back, and Ron held up his wand, as if he was going to cast a spell on him. Harry literally had to hold him back. He still cast the spell, but luckily he missed Lockhart. He ended up hitting one of his many disgusting pictures, and turning it into a frog.
Lockhart just laughed, and took the picture off the wall. "maybe if someone kisses this picture, it will turn into a handsome prince."
All the girls ran towards Lockhart to try to grab the picture.
Ron lifted up his arms, as if to say, 'I give up'
Lockhart finally got all the girls off him by saying, "Now how can I dance with one of you lovely ladies if you don't give me some space."
"Now the girl I pick must be perfect, after all she has to keep up with me!!!" Lockhart gloated.
He walked up and down the line of impatient girls, and finally came up to Hermonie, who was standing completely still. And he stopped. "Hermonie Granger, my best student!" Hermonie's face got bright red and a huge smile came over her face. "you are the best in everything, you are going to be my partner." Lockhart extended his hand.
Hermonie looked at him questionably., because he had already picked one fake partner. "Don't worry Hermonie, you are my real partner." he beamed at her.
Hermonie's jaw dropped, and all the other girls clapped for her, and told her how lucky she was.
Ron and Harry looked at Hermonie with disbelief. They couldn't believe that she was about to dance with this egotistical slimeball.
Lockhart spun Hermonie out to the middle of the room. "Now Hermonie will help me demonstrate how to dance."
Lockhart's idea of "dancing was spinning out of control, and hitting a bookshelf. All of his Collective Works, came spilling down on his head.
They girls gasped in shock, and the boys laughed hysterically.
Ron rolled his eyes, and mumbled, "Idiot"
Hermonie shot Ron an evil look, and ran over to see if Lockhart was ok. She pulled all the books off him, gazed into his eyes lovingly. He flashed her a smile, and she sighed. Then she helped him to his feet.
"That was an example of how not to dance!!!" Lockhart proclaimed. Then he happened to look at his watch. "Man how time flies when you are having fun!!! Class dismissed!!"
The class began to file out, as he yelled behind them, "Next class, I will show you all how to really boogie, and you will all get to be partnered up!!!"
Ron shuddered at the thought of "boogying down" Lockhart style.
"Hey where's Hermonie?" asked Harry
"And he speaks!!!" exclaimed Ron. "I think she stayed back to help Lockhart remove his head from his ass!!!" Then he whispered quietly, "And maybe as an award, he would pop her cherry for her. " he muffled a laugh, as Harry smacked him.
"owww!!" Ron yelled, and rubbed his head. "What was that for?"
"Don't you ever talk about Hermonie like that!!!!" Harry warned as he pointed his wand at him.
"Ok man, " Ron said as he backed away from Harry with his hands up. "Learn how to take a joke!!! I was only kidding you know!!!"
"I know," Harry said quietly, and looked at the ground. Suddenly he blurted out, "I think Lockhart is behind all this!!!"
"What all this?" asked Ron. " Anyone could have broken into Snape's room. Everyone hates him. And well Lockhart in class, he's just weird. It was just a matter of time before he snapped!!! Plus he's too stupid to be able to do any magic that could affect the whole school."
"Maybe you're right," said Harry, and forced a weak smile at Ron.
Ron wished he could believe his own words, but in the back of his mind, he thought that Harry might be right that bad things were about to happen at Hogwarts.
"Oh that feels good Snape, oooo harder harder!!!" Ron exclaimed, trying to make a face as if he was Malfoy getting assraped by Snape. In reality he looked like he was constipated. He looked over at Harry, who had been ignoring him this whole time.
Ron smacked Harry. "You weren't listening!!!" He said looking very offending. This was the first time in the year they had known each other, that Harry had ignored him.
"I'm sorry Ron, it's just----" Harry stopped and his jaw dropped.
Professor Lockhart was up on top of his desk dancing, and not only that, but he was singing!!! "she only want me for my pimp juice!!! oooooo oooooo!!! I think I need to let her loose!!!!"
Harry covered his ears, and tried to block out the horrible sound of Lockhart's singing. Ron laughed under his breath, and whispered, " He sounds like a chicken trying to pass a kidney stone!!!" Harry gave Ron a very odd look.
Unfortunately, Lockhart heard this, and jumped down off his desk. He walked over to Harry and Ron, his face glowing a deep shade of red. By this time most of the class had arrived, and were either laughing, or looked very scared.
Lockhart tried to save his ass, and quickly blurted out, "I was just demonstrating to Mr. Potter and Mr. Wealsey the wrong way to sing." he finished with his famous smile.
The girls sighed in awe, and the guys rolled their eyes.
The rest of the class didn't go too much better. If possible Lockhart was being even more of an idiot than usual. And they learned even less than they normally would. He didn't touch on the Dark Arts at all.
Professor Lockhart decided it would be a fun idea to take a break from the normal class activities, and have a dancing lesson today. "In my day I was the hottest date at the Yule ball, girls would fight over who got to dance with me. Often their would even be a line. So who's going be the lucky one today?" He bragged with a smile.
Ron made fake puking noises, and a few of the other boys laughed. Hermonie gave him an evil look.
"How about you Ron?" Lockhart asked with a smile, and extended a hand. Ron backed up looking as if he had just seen Lockhart naked.
Many of the girls were giggling. Lockhart put his arm around Ron, and Ron looked as if he was going to cry. He gave harry a pleading look, and mouthed, "Help me!!!" Harry looked like he was deep in thought. Lockhart tapped Ron on the shoulder, and said, "I'm just kidding, buddy!!!"
Ron crossed his arms in front of him, and looked as if he wanted to kill someone. Lockhart turned his back, and Ron held up his wand, as if he was going to cast a spell on him. Harry literally had to hold him back. He still cast the spell, but luckily he missed Lockhart. He ended up hitting one of his many disgusting pictures, and turning it into a frog.
Lockhart just laughed, and took the picture off the wall. "maybe if someone kisses this picture, it will turn into a handsome prince."
All the girls ran towards Lockhart to try to grab the picture.
Ron lifted up his arms, as if to say, 'I give up'
Lockhart finally got all the girls off him by saying, "Now how can I dance with one of you lovely ladies if you don't give me some space."
"Now the girl I pick must be perfect, after all she has to keep up with me!!!" Lockhart gloated.
He walked up and down the line of impatient girls, and finally came up to Hermonie, who was standing completely still. And he stopped. "Hermonie Granger, my best student!" Hermonie's face got bright red and a huge smile came over her face. "you are the best in everything, you are going to be my partner." Lockhart extended his hand.
Hermonie looked at him questionably., because he had already picked one fake partner. "Don't worry Hermonie, you are my real partner." he beamed at her.
Hermonie's jaw dropped, and all the other girls clapped for her, and told her how lucky she was.
Ron and Harry looked at Hermonie with disbelief. They couldn't believe that she was about to dance with this egotistical slimeball.
Lockhart spun Hermonie out to the middle of the room. "Now Hermonie will help me demonstrate how to dance."
Lockhart's idea of "dancing was spinning out of control, and hitting a bookshelf. All of his Collective Works, came spilling down on his head.
They girls gasped in shock, and the boys laughed hysterically.
Ron rolled his eyes, and mumbled, "Idiot"
Hermonie shot Ron an evil look, and ran over to see if Lockhart was ok. She pulled all the books off him, gazed into his eyes lovingly. He flashed her a smile, and she sighed. Then she helped him to his feet.
"That was an example of how not to dance!!!" Lockhart proclaimed. Then he happened to look at his watch. "Man how time flies when you are having fun!!! Class dismissed!!"
The class began to file out, as he yelled behind them, "Next class, I will show you all how to really boogie, and you will all get to be partnered up!!!"
Ron shuddered at the thought of "boogying down" Lockhart style.
"Hey where's Hermonie?" asked Harry
"And he speaks!!!" exclaimed Ron. "I think she stayed back to help Lockhart remove his head from his ass!!!" Then he whispered quietly, "And maybe as an award, he would pop her cherry for her. " he muffled a laugh, as Harry smacked him.
"owww!!" Ron yelled, and rubbed his head. "What was that for?"
"Don't you ever talk about Hermonie like that!!!!" Harry warned as he pointed his wand at him.
"Ok man, " Ron said as he backed away from Harry with his hands up. "Learn how to take a joke!!! I was only kidding you know!!!"
"I know," Harry said quietly, and looked at the ground. Suddenly he blurted out, "I think Lockhart is behind all this!!!"
"What all this?" asked Ron. " Anyone could have broken into Snape's room. Everyone hates him. And well Lockhart in class, he's just weird. It was just a matter of time before he snapped!!! Plus he's too stupid to be able to do any magic that could affect the whole school."
"Maybe you're right," said Harry, and forced a weak smile at Ron.
Ron wished he could believe his own words, but in the back of his mind, he thought that Harry might be right that bad things were about to happen at Hogwarts.