AN: A nice twisted, vaguely depressing piece. A challenge - take a
character, kill him/her off and then get them to write one last letter.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to James Cameron. And reviews are beloved.
What's it like on the other side? That's what I always asked myself. Is it the Good Place, or is it the Bad Place? I mean, if I believed in that sort of place. I don't. I mean, as a little girl I might have, for Ben. Well, for myself too. When you're living the Bad Place, you do need the Blue Lady, I know that.
Do you get it? I don't think anyone really would. I think Manticore was different for every single one of us and that hurts. Because the people who most understand me and what I've been through, don't understand at all.
Now I'm dead. How did I expect to die? Maybe a drug overdose or a random bullet to a vital organ. I always pictured myself hunched in the back end of an alley, coughing and throwing up, and knowing it was the end.
It's funny. I'm gone. I'm dead. I no longer exist. Who will miss me? Zack doesn't remember me, Ben is dead. Tinga is dead. Brin is lost. There are only two people I know will miss me. Krit and Zane. I love them both. But Krit will push down his grief and anger and Zane.Zane will deal. Because that's what Zane does.
Dying isn't painful. For me, it was the second after I realized my biggest fear wasn't death, my biggest fear was my fear. Do you understand? I could feel no oxygen passing my lips, I could feel everything end and I could see that it was over. Over. No more pain or fear.
That's what the two main human emotions are; fear and pain. When we finally realize this, we die.
What am I going on about? Who will read this? I don't really care, actually. Just to know someone might, someone who didn't know me at all, makes this letter have a purpose. Knowing that the girl lying in the alley got this before she vanished.
And I want everyone to know it wasn't their fault I died. It was mine. All mine. If I hadn't been cheating on Zane with Krit; and Krit with Zane, maybe Zane wouldn't have felt the need to beat me. I could've stopped him if I'd wanted to. But I didn't. Maybe because I thought Tinga would be here. But she's not. There's no one. I'm lost.
So, what do I have to say?
Max, I'm sorry I couldn't know you as a woman.
Zack, I'm sorry for disobeying you.
Ben, I'm sorry for not being able to believe.
Tinga, I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
Brin, I'm sorry I pushed you out of the tree during that game of Capture the Flag.
Jondy, I'm sorry we aren't closer.
Zane, I'm sorry I couldn't love only you.
Krit, I'm just sorry.
And do you know what? There is no meaning to life.
Love, Syl.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to James Cameron. And reviews are beloved.
What's it like on the other side? That's what I always asked myself. Is it the Good Place, or is it the Bad Place? I mean, if I believed in that sort of place. I don't. I mean, as a little girl I might have, for Ben. Well, for myself too. When you're living the Bad Place, you do need the Blue Lady, I know that.
Do you get it? I don't think anyone really would. I think Manticore was different for every single one of us and that hurts. Because the people who most understand me and what I've been through, don't understand at all.
Now I'm dead. How did I expect to die? Maybe a drug overdose or a random bullet to a vital organ. I always pictured myself hunched in the back end of an alley, coughing and throwing up, and knowing it was the end.
It's funny. I'm gone. I'm dead. I no longer exist. Who will miss me? Zack doesn't remember me, Ben is dead. Tinga is dead. Brin is lost. There are only two people I know will miss me. Krit and Zane. I love them both. But Krit will push down his grief and anger and Zane.Zane will deal. Because that's what Zane does.
Dying isn't painful. For me, it was the second after I realized my biggest fear wasn't death, my biggest fear was my fear. Do you understand? I could feel no oxygen passing my lips, I could feel everything end and I could see that it was over. Over. No more pain or fear.
That's what the two main human emotions are; fear and pain. When we finally realize this, we die.
What am I going on about? Who will read this? I don't really care, actually. Just to know someone might, someone who didn't know me at all, makes this letter have a purpose. Knowing that the girl lying in the alley got this before she vanished.
And I want everyone to know it wasn't their fault I died. It was mine. All mine. If I hadn't been cheating on Zane with Krit; and Krit with Zane, maybe Zane wouldn't have felt the need to beat me. I could've stopped him if I'd wanted to. But I didn't. Maybe because I thought Tinga would be here. But she's not. There's no one. I'm lost.
So, what do I have to say?
Max, I'm sorry I couldn't know you as a woman.
Zack, I'm sorry for disobeying you.
Ben, I'm sorry for not being able to believe.
Tinga, I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
Brin, I'm sorry I pushed you out of the tree during that game of Capture the Flag.
Jondy, I'm sorry we aren't closer.
Zane, I'm sorry I couldn't love only you.
Krit, I'm just sorry.
And do you know what? There is no meaning to life.
Love, Syl.