Will You Ever?
A/N: Thanks for choosing to read my fic! I've posted this story at ATP but for some reason I can't get access to it, so I decided to post it here! This is the first fic I've ever written and had the guts to post, so I hope you like it. I don't know what flaming means but it sounds bad. Reviews are always nice, as well as helpful little hints. ^_~ Paring: Brian/Justin and Justin/Ethan Summary: Two months after the Rage party, Justin returns to Liberty Ave., and guess who he sees?
Part 1
[-I Will Always Love You-]
It's good to be back on Liberty Avenue again, I haven't been here since I've been with Ethan. He didn't trust me enough to let me go, afraid that I might run into Brian - that I'd go back to him in a heartbeat. Now, it's been two months since we've been together and two months since I've seen Brian. Ethan thinks that two months have been long enough time away from Brian that I can go out to Liberty Avenue again. What he doesn't know is that I see him, every single night since we've broken up, in my dreams. In my dreams, he's always touching me, making love to be, showering me with gentle kisses - showing me things that he could never say. But that's only in my dreams, no more in reality.
I slowly walk into Woody's, looking for any familiar faces. I look over by the pool table and I see Ted and Emmett, watching Michael and Ben playing a game of pool. I walk over to the guys and Emmett is the first to notice me.
"Oh, sweety! How have you been? We've missed you so much!" Emmett immediately hugged me.
"Hey Emmett. Hi Ted, Michael. Hi Ben."
"What are you doing here, Boy Wonder? I though that Ethan told you to stay away from Liberty Avenue." Said Michael with a confused look on his face, not that look has ever left his face at all.
"I'm allowed to go anywhere I please, Michael. I'm surprised that you're not glad to see me."
"Of course I am! Have you finished the drawings of 'Rage the Sequel' yet?"
"Yeah." I kept on looking around me, to see if Brian was there, but there was no sign of him at all.
"He's not here, Justin." Said Ben, noticing my lack of attention to his boyfriend.
"Who are you talking about?" I tried to cover up by not knowing whom he was talking about, but I suspected that everyone knew what Ben was talking about. Ben dropped the subject, getting the clue that I didn't want to talk about Brian. "I'm gonna go see Debbie. Ever since I stopped working at the diner, I haven't seen her as much as I used to. I'll see you guys around later."
Ted spoke for the first time. "All right, bye Justin."
"Come back soon, hunny. You know you're always welcome here."
"Bye Justin."
"Don't forget to bring the drawings to the shop!"
I walked out of Woody's shaking my head and laughing at Michael. As I was walking down the stairs, I didn't even see whom I was bumping into.
"Oh, sorry about that." I looked up at who it was. It was him.
"Don't be sorry. You made your choice."
"Brian.hi. How are you?"
"How do you think I am, Justin? I'm fabulous." Brian started to walk up the stairs brushing past my shoulder. "And what the fuck are you doing here?"
"Suddenly I'm not welcome in the gay part of Pittsburgh anymore?"
"I didn't say that. I meant what are you doing here, I thought that your guitar playing."
"Violin."
"Whatever playing boyfriend didn't want you around Liberty Avenue anymore."
"He doesn't own me."
"No, he doesn't." Brian turned around and headed into Woody's. I grabbed his wrist before he could go in the door. "What now?"
"Can we talk?"
"What do you think we've been doing for the past minute or two?"
"Please? I need to talk to you."
"Fine. Talk."
"Not here. Can we go to our.your loft?"
"Let's go."
We headed to his jeep parked across the street. As I was getting in the passenger seat, I looked back to Woody's and saw Michael there with a smile in his face. The ride to the loft was silent. There have been stolen glances back and forth and I couldn't help but wonder, 'did he miss me too?' I looked back at Brian and this time, I didn't look away. I studied his figure and tried to figure out what was going inside his mind. Maybe two months have been a long time; I could barely read him anymore. When we were together, I could always read him. It didn't matter what kind of mood he was in, whether he was aroused, angry, frustrated, or whatever, I always knew. Brian parked in front of the loft and he motioned me to get out. We both got into the elevator and it too, was a silent ride. When we reached his floor, he opened the door and shut it after I went in. The loft looked exactly as it was when I left, except all my belongings were gone. The loft looked and smelled like Brian Kinney.
"Well, we're here. What did you want to talk about? And make it fast, I want to go out."
"Ever the same." I took my jacket off and put it on top of the white Italian leather couch. "You never exactly answered my question Brian. How have you been? Don't try to cover up with any bullshit Brian. I know you."
"Fine, you want to know the truth? I've been confused. I gave you everything that I had to offer and you just walked out on me because I couldn't say those three small words to you and that fucking bastard could. So What if I never said it? I always showed it."
"I know you showed it Brian, I just needed to hear it because it was something you would never say to your random tricks."
"Justin.I just couldn't say it, ok? You chose the fiddler because I couldn't say it. It's over Justin."
"Do you want it to be over?"
Brian broke his eye contact with me and looked toward the windows. A minute later he replied, "No."
"Fuck Brian, why did you make me chose between you and Ethan?"
"It was either him or me."
"It's always been you Brian. I came to Babylon that night to tell you but you wanted me to join you and that trick. I couldn't stand it! From the beginning I only wanted you, I only put up with the tricks because it was the only way we could be together. But now, I just couldn't stand it anymore."
"Do you love him?"
"I'm trying. He's more obnoxious and self-centered than you are, but at least he doesn't trick around. That's one thing that's great about Ethan. The rest is just too fucking shitty." I looked into Brian eyes. "Remember what I said back at Woody's? That Ethan doesn't own me?"
"Yeah. And I said that he doesn't."
"That's because you do. Always have."
"Do you still love me?"
"I will always love you Brian, always." Pause. "Do you remember our first night?"
"What of it?"
"You told me that you loved me then, when you didn't even know me."
"I don't remember that."
"Of course not, you were too drugged and drunk."
Brian paced around the loft until he was in his kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. Brian stared at the bottle for a while before he opened it. It looked like he was making a big decision about something. I just wish I knew what it was.
Before Brian tried to say anything, I picked up my jacket. "Look Brian, I've got to go. Ethan's expecting me back soon. I want you to know that I'm willing to go back, if you're willing to change. I missed you Brian."
I walked in front of Brian and gave him a kiss on his cheek and caressed his face. I looked in his eyes before I walked out of the loft.
TBC.
A/N: Thanks for choosing to read my fic! I've posted this story at ATP but for some reason I can't get access to it, so I decided to post it here! This is the first fic I've ever written and had the guts to post, so I hope you like it. I don't know what flaming means but it sounds bad. Reviews are always nice, as well as helpful little hints. ^_~ Paring: Brian/Justin and Justin/Ethan Summary: Two months after the Rage party, Justin returns to Liberty Ave., and guess who he sees?
Part 1
[-I Will Always Love You-]
It's good to be back on Liberty Avenue again, I haven't been here since I've been with Ethan. He didn't trust me enough to let me go, afraid that I might run into Brian - that I'd go back to him in a heartbeat. Now, it's been two months since we've been together and two months since I've seen Brian. Ethan thinks that two months have been long enough time away from Brian that I can go out to Liberty Avenue again. What he doesn't know is that I see him, every single night since we've broken up, in my dreams. In my dreams, he's always touching me, making love to be, showering me with gentle kisses - showing me things that he could never say. But that's only in my dreams, no more in reality.
I slowly walk into Woody's, looking for any familiar faces. I look over by the pool table and I see Ted and Emmett, watching Michael and Ben playing a game of pool. I walk over to the guys and Emmett is the first to notice me.
"Oh, sweety! How have you been? We've missed you so much!" Emmett immediately hugged me.
"Hey Emmett. Hi Ted, Michael. Hi Ben."
"What are you doing here, Boy Wonder? I though that Ethan told you to stay away from Liberty Avenue." Said Michael with a confused look on his face, not that look has ever left his face at all.
"I'm allowed to go anywhere I please, Michael. I'm surprised that you're not glad to see me."
"Of course I am! Have you finished the drawings of 'Rage the Sequel' yet?"
"Yeah." I kept on looking around me, to see if Brian was there, but there was no sign of him at all.
"He's not here, Justin." Said Ben, noticing my lack of attention to his boyfriend.
"Who are you talking about?" I tried to cover up by not knowing whom he was talking about, but I suspected that everyone knew what Ben was talking about. Ben dropped the subject, getting the clue that I didn't want to talk about Brian. "I'm gonna go see Debbie. Ever since I stopped working at the diner, I haven't seen her as much as I used to. I'll see you guys around later."
Ted spoke for the first time. "All right, bye Justin."
"Come back soon, hunny. You know you're always welcome here."
"Bye Justin."
"Don't forget to bring the drawings to the shop!"
I walked out of Woody's shaking my head and laughing at Michael. As I was walking down the stairs, I didn't even see whom I was bumping into.
"Oh, sorry about that." I looked up at who it was. It was him.
"Don't be sorry. You made your choice."
"Brian.hi. How are you?"
"How do you think I am, Justin? I'm fabulous." Brian started to walk up the stairs brushing past my shoulder. "And what the fuck are you doing here?"
"Suddenly I'm not welcome in the gay part of Pittsburgh anymore?"
"I didn't say that. I meant what are you doing here, I thought that your guitar playing."
"Violin."
"Whatever playing boyfriend didn't want you around Liberty Avenue anymore."
"He doesn't own me."
"No, he doesn't." Brian turned around and headed into Woody's. I grabbed his wrist before he could go in the door. "What now?"
"Can we talk?"
"What do you think we've been doing for the past minute or two?"
"Please? I need to talk to you."
"Fine. Talk."
"Not here. Can we go to our.your loft?"
"Let's go."
We headed to his jeep parked across the street. As I was getting in the passenger seat, I looked back to Woody's and saw Michael there with a smile in his face. The ride to the loft was silent. There have been stolen glances back and forth and I couldn't help but wonder, 'did he miss me too?' I looked back at Brian and this time, I didn't look away. I studied his figure and tried to figure out what was going inside his mind. Maybe two months have been a long time; I could barely read him anymore. When we were together, I could always read him. It didn't matter what kind of mood he was in, whether he was aroused, angry, frustrated, or whatever, I always knew. Brian parked in front of the loft and he motioned me to get out. We both got into the elevator and it too, was a silent ride. When we reached his floor, he opened the door and shut it after I went in. The loft looked exactly as it was when I left, except all my belongings were gone. The loft looked and smelled like Brian Kinney.
"Well, we're here. What did you want to talk about? And make it fast, I want to go out."
"Ever the same." I took my jacket off and put it on top of the white Italian leather couch. "You never exactly answered my question Brian. How have you been? Don't try to cover up with any bullshit Brian. I know you."
"Fine, you want to know the truth? I've been confused. I gave you everything that I had to offer and you just walked out on me because I couldn't say those three small words to you and that fucking bastard could. So What if I never said it? I always showed it."
"I know you showed it Brian, I just needed to hear it because it was something you would never say to your random tricks."
"Justin.I just couldn't say it, ok? You chose the fiddler because I couldn't say it. It's over Justin."
"Do you want it to be over?"
Brian broke his eye contact with me and looked toward the windows. A minute later he replied, "No."
"Fuck Brian, why did you make me chose between you and Ethan?"
"It was either him or me."
"It's always been you Brian. I came to Babylon that night to tell you but you wanted me to join you and that trick. I couldn't stand it! From the beginning I only wanted you, I only put up with the tricks because it was the only way we could be together. But now, I just couldn't stand it anymore."
"Do you love him?"
"I'm trying. He's more obnoxious and self-centered than you are, but at least he doesn't trick around. That's one thing that's great about Ethan. The rest is just too fucking shitty." I looked into Brian eyes. "Remember what I said back at Woody's? That Ethan doesn't own me?"
"Yeah. And I said that he doesn't."
"That's because you do. Always have."
"Do you still love me?"
"I will always love you Brian, always." Pause. "Do you remember our first night?"
"What of it?"
"You told me that you loved me then, when you didn't even know me."
"I don't remember that."
"Of course not, you were too drugged and drunk."
Brian paced around the loft until he was in his kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. Brian stared at the bottle for a while before he opened it. It looked like he was making a big decision about something. I just wish I knew what it was.
Before Brian tried to say anything, I picked up my jacket. "Look Brian, I've got to go. Ethan's expecting me back soon. I want you to know that I'm willing to go back, if you're willing to change. I missed you Brian."
I walked in front of Brian and gave him a kiss on his cheek and caressed his face. I looked in his eyes before I walked out of the loft.
TBC.