4 - Promotion Perks

The next morning, Ray woke up on the couch and to his surprise, with Debra in his arms. He stared at her in confusion for a moment and nudged her gently. "Debra?"

She nestled her head against his chest sleepily. "Heey..."

"What are you doing here?" he commented, rubbing her shoulders warmly.

Debra smiled. "Nothing... just didn't want you to get lonely down here over the night."

Ray laughed. "Oh, uhm, okay. You alright?"
"Yea I'm fine Ray... why don't you stay for breakfast today?" she asked, slowly rolling off the couch.

He shrugged noncommittally. "Sure, that'd be nice."

The two got up and made their way into the kitchen. Debra began running some hot water into the sink as Ray made his way up behind her. "Hey... um, are you okay about last night?"

She looked up. "What? Jodi? Yea, I'm fine Ray..."

"Okay, good. That's good. Do you mind if she comes over tonight again then? She didn't really finish installing some stuff on my computer last night."

Debra looked away for a moment. "Uhm... no, its no problem. Its just I had something planned for tonight."

Ray scratched his head. "We do?"

"Yeah, I just haven't told you yet silly. You... me... dinner... restaurant...movie..." She trailed off and gave him a nudge.

He grinned widely. "Ooooh!" Reaching out, he poked and tickled her a few times in the belly. "I'm onto you now, Missus Barone..."

After she left the kitchen to go make the couch, Ray sat down for a moment tiredly resting his head on his chin. He was still a little drowsy. "Two nights of action- now there's a first," he remarked to himself. Suddenly he slapped the table with his palm, his eyes alert and awake. "Wait one spankin' minute..."

As Debra strolled back into the kitchen holding her coffee mug, Ray stated, "Hey Deb, this weekend a couple of us at work are thinking of going golfing."

She put her hands on her hips. "Golf? Again?"

"Yea, come on..." whined Ray.

"Who're you going with this time?" asked Debra as she rolled her eyes.

"Ah, just the usual guys, really. I was going to ask Jodi last night too but it turns out none of the guys at work really like her," Ray remarked casually.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You're kidding." The thought of Andy and his other co-workers not being attracted to such a woman just didn't compute in her mind.

"No, its true. They said she's meaner than Oscar the Grouch. She seems nice to me, though."

Debra was lost in thought for a moment. "Weird. Well alright then, sounds okay to me if you go golfing."

As Ray left to go upstairs and change, he couldn't help but think to himself that he could milk this for what its worth all week long.


"Hey guys, sorry I am late," Ray announced as he walked into Marco's and sat down next to his friends Bernie and Gianni.

"What's going on with you man? You were late for Go-Karts yesterday and now Pizza today?" Gianni asked, slightly annoyed.

Ray waved off their questions. "Yea yea, forget about all that. Listen, remember a few years back when Deb all of a sudden was a lot more willing to... ya know..."

"Give ya a little wham, bam, Thank ya Ma'am? Yeah I remember it turned out to be that beefcake guy, helpin' ya out right?" Gianni interrupted. His slight italian accent made all his words seem a little more vulgar than they really were.

"Well, it wasn't actually the Incredible Hulk guy, but yeah that time." Ray answered.

Bernie leaned back in his seat. "As fun as going down bizarre memory lane is for me to listen to, does this story have a point Ray?"

"Yeah it does if you two clowns would let me finish. Its happening again- and not only am I getting it more frequently but she's also being nice to me!" Ray said excitedly.

"Debra being nice to you? I don't believe it. What did you do, kill your parents?" asked an amazed Gianni.

"Not yet. This time I know what's causing it, and its all part of my master plan! That's right baby!" Ray replied happily while shoving his fists in the air.

"Ray my friend, I've known you for a long time and you can barely come up with a plan, let alone a 'master plan,' " Bernie pointed out mockingly as he used finger quotes to make his point.

"Ha ha very funny, I'm serious here, man. You guys remember my new assistant Jodi, right?"

Gianni moaned in delight and leaned back. "I couldn't forget that lady if I tried. I just wanted to grab her right there! She is so out of your league Ray that its a sexual harassment suit just waiting to happen."

"Well ever since I hired Jodi, Debra's been extra sweet to me, letting me golf, letting me go out with the guys, letting me touch her. She's like a new woman. All I have to do is talk about Jodi, or say I have to work late, and she'll do whatever I want. Its AMAZING what a little jealousy can do," Ray responded proudly.

Bernie slapped the table, unable to contain himself. "Man, I need to get a hot assistant damnit!"

"This is why I'm never getting married," Gianni said with a shake of his head.

"What man? I just said Debra is doing whatever I want!" exclaimed Ray.

"Well, yeah now she is but you had to trick her into making her jealous with your little hottie with a body assistant. Before that you weren't even a blip on your own wife's radar. You're going to have to do this for a long time if you want to stay afloat, my friend," Gianni said seriously. To emphasize his point he made the sound of life monitor flat-lining.

Bernie nodded his head gravely. "He's right man. After living with 'Sure I'll try on my whole lingerie collection for you'-Debra, it's gonna be damn near impossible to go back to 'Throw your clothes in the hamper or I'll throw you screaming from a helicopter'-Debra."

Ray's eyes widened as he realized they were right. He was going to have to keep this up for a long time to keep his fancy new Debra. Things just got a lot higher maintenance. He shook his head as he tried to snap out of his funk. "Well don't worry about it, I got it all under control. I'm tired of 24/7 Permissable-Man-Slaughter Debra."

Gianni shrugged. "I'm just saying man, you play with fire you're gonna get burned."

Now in the heat of the moment, Ray shook his head defiantly. "Nope... I'm tired of this crap, man. Remember the time I went to Robert's apartment with all the women walking around? When Debra showed up she just laughed at me and said 'Hah, like you had a chance!'" He stopped and made a smarmy laugh. "Who's jealous now, missy? That's right!"

Bernie raised an eyebrow. He had never really seen his friend so vocal about his frustrations with his wife, nor scheme in such a manner.

Gianni however, who was known more for his womanizing simply give his friend a thumbs up. "Nice to see you have the balls to pull it off then. I guess your genitals won't be revoked after all."