Telling Yourself it's okay
Do you ever get the feeling something' watching you? As if someone kept watching you, following you. And when you least expect it, it starts.
What? You don't know what I mean? I don't know what I'm talking about? Why, my young child, I am, of course, talking about ones self. For you see, the strongest thing in the world is ones mind.
Nothing has ever been able to break any ones self mind. Sure over the years I've seen people's fear slowly disintegrate, laughter fade off into nothiness, tears turn to joy, and joy turn to fear. But the experience know most by me is all the love in my life breaking apart, and slowly leaving me.
Now you also ask, how do you stalk yourself? Why that's not hard at all. The people here say it was only possible because I'm crazy, but no.
All the feelings turned into hatred. And I felt as if every one hated me, even my conscious. That's why it told me to do it, I had to, I had to do it, I couldn't stand it anymore. It kept yelling at me, I don't like when people yell. It said, 'Kill him, kill him, you have to, or he'll always be there standing in your way, in front of your goal, laughing at you, KILL HIM!"
So know you know where I got the idea from, you must think I'm crazy. What's that, speak up? Oh yea? That's good, I'm glad I know you don't think I'm crazy.
Pardon? Another question eh? You do ask a lot don't you? No no, it's okay. This started back when we were in grade, hmmm let me think, when we were in grade four, yes, that's it.
When we were in grade four, the four of us, Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Meilin would always sit together for lunch. Those were very very happy times, indeed they were.
I never quite noticed how much they were together, I mean, I now they had to card cards and what not, but even after that. I seemed to be the only one who notice, well that is, Tomoyo and Meilin noticed. Sakura didn't even notice.
Oh no, I'm sorry did I forget, and I just kept continuing, I'm sorry, my name is, Tomoyo.
Oh anyway, they were so close, and at first it was cute, and it was good for the camera, but after a while, it was just, more than that.
So, for the short little while, while it seemed to be a phase, I chose to think of it as an on screen love affaire, hoping that's all it would be.
You know, like a crush you get over. But I guess I lost that bet. This thing continued day in and day out. For the longest time I did nothing. He'd look at her and blush, she wouldn't notice, and I'd giggle, because she's so cute in that way.
After some three years, he finally told her. She was so shocked, and so was I. I was hoping nothing would happen.
My dream of that crush fading away shattered the minute I heard it. I tried to reassure my self it was a dream, you know try to pick up the pieces, but they just broke into smaller pieces and all hope was lost for me.
That's when my conscious started stalking me. Telling me to kill him. For to years after her told her I neglected the feelings, but then, after they had been going out for 2 years, I just burst. I couldn't stand it anymore.
One night I called up Syaoran and asked if I could come over, to talk to him, you know a little one on one. He immidly agreed and asked me to come over in half an hour.
I went to his house and we started talking. We drank tea, his last drink. I purposely drank really fast to get it over with. "OH I'll get some more" I got up to get some more, he tried to do it him self but I insisted. For some 5 minutes I had to make up some fake problems about school.
I got some tea and came into the room, Syaoran was sitting, face back to the way I came in. I ever so slowly and quietly walked up behind him.
Leaning over him, he didn't even notice me. I poured my tea on his lap and when he jumped up in pain I grabbed my fist a jabbed my elbow in to his lower back, which hit just the right spot and paralyzed him from the waist down. Okay so I had been practicing a bit, sew me. But the ironic thing about this, was that Syaoran showed me this, because he said 'a pretty girl like your self needs to know self defense.' And he got carried away.
While he fell to the ground he flipped around. Looking up with his dark brown eyes, I could see him pleading with pain inside. I could see his life flashing before his eyes.
I then took out I knife and a slash here a slash there and he's dead.
Now why did I paralyze him first? Because he's very, I mean, he was very smart, and could have killed me in the blink of an eye. As soon as I wipe off a few fingerprints, I grabbed a suitcase I had brought over, and left, I took a plain ride to where I am now. Yes, then I went here, to the insane asylum. Because they can't put people who are crazy into prison.
And now I bet your wonder what my friend, as to of which I did this for, felt about this? Well Sakura, has no idea I did it, infact, I don't think any one does, except you. Now, you wouldn't tell would you, because you know, I signed in here, I can sign out.
Authors Notes: So I hope you liked it. Review it, I want feed pack, yes this is only a one chapter thing, please review. Was it good? Please review and check out my other stories.
Do you ever get the feeling something' watching you? As if someone kept watching you, following you. And when you least expect it, it starts.
What? You don't know what I mean? I don't know what I'm talking about? Why, my young child, I am, of course, talking about ones self. For you see, the strongest thing in the world is ones mind.
Nothing has ever been able to break any ones self mind. Sure over the years I've seen people's fear slowly disintegrate, laughter fade off into nothiness, tears turn to joy, and joy turn to fear. But the experience know most by me is all the love in my life breaking apart, and slowly leaving me.
Now you also ask, how do you stalk yourself? Why that's not hard at all. The people here say it was only possible because I'm crazy, but no.
All the feelings turned into hatred. And I felt as if every one hated me, even my conscious. That's why it told me to do it, I had to, I had to do it, I couldn't stand it anymore. It kept yelling at me, I don't like when people yell. It said, 'Kill him, kill him, you have to, or he'll always be there standing in your way, in front of your goal, laughing at you, KILL HIM!"
So know you know where I got the idea from, you must think I'm crazy. What's that, speak up? Oh yea? That's good, I'm glad I know you don't think I'm crazy.
Pardon? Another question eh? You do ask a lot don't you? No no, it's okay. This started back when we were in grade, hmmm let me think, when we were in grade four, yes, that's it.
When we were in grade four, the four of us, Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Meilin would always sit together for lunch. Those were very very happy times, indeed they were.
I never quite noticed how much they were together, I mean, I now they had to card cards and what not, but even after that. I seemed to be the only one who notice, well that is, Tomoyo and Meilin noticed. Sakura didn't even notice.
Oh no, I'm sorry did I forget, and I just kept continuing, I'm sorry, my name is, Tomoyo.
Oh anyway, they were so close, and at first it was cute, and it was good for the camera, but after a while, it was just, more than that.
So, for the short little while, while it seemed to be a phase, I chose to think of it as an on screen love affaire, hoping that's all it would be.
You know, like a crush you get over. But I guess I lost that bet. This thing continued day in and day out. For the longest time I did nothing. He'd look at her and blush, she wouldn't notice, and I'd giggle, because she's so cute in that way.
After some three years, he finally told her. She was so shocked, and so was I. I was hoping nothing would happen.
My dream of that crush fading away shattered the minute I heard it. I tried to reassure my self it was a dream, you know try to pick up the pieces, but they just broke into smaller pieces and all hope was lost for me.
That's when my conscious started stalking me. Telling me to kill him. For to years after her told her I neglected the feelings, but then, after they had been going out for 2 years, I just burst. I couldn't stand it anymore.
One night I called up Syaoran and asked if I could come over, to talk to him, you know a little one on one. He immidly agreed and asked me to come over in half an hour.
I went to his house and we started talking. We drank tea, his last drink. I purposely drank really fast to get it over with. "OH I'll get some more" I got up to get some more, he tried to do it him self but I insisted. For some 5 minutes I had to make up some fake problems about school.
I got some tea and came into the room, Syaoran was sitting, face back to the way I came in. I ever so slowly and quietly walked up behind him.
Leaning over him, he didn't even notice me. I poured my tea on his lap and when he jumped up in pain I grabbed my fist a jabbed my elbow in to his lower back, which hit just the right spot and paralyzed him from the waist down. Okay so I had been practicing a bit, sew me. But the ironic thing about this, was that Syaoran showed me this, because he said 'a pretty girl like your self needs to know self defense.' And he got carried away.
While he fell to the ground he flipped around. Looking up with his dark brown eyes, I could see him pleading with pain inside. I could see his life flashing before his eyes.
I then took out I knife and a slash here a slash there and he's dead.
Now why did I paralyze him first? Because he's very, I mean, he was very smart, and could have killed me in the blink of an eye. As soon as I wipe off a few fingerprints, I grabbed a suitcase I had brought over, and left, I took a plain ride to where I am now. Yes, then I went here, to the insane asylum. Because they can't put people who are crazy into prison.
And now I bet your wonder what my friend, as to of which I did this for, felt about this? Well Sakura, has no idea I did it, infact, I don't think any one does, except you. Now, you wouldn't tell would you, because you know, I signed in here, I can sign out.
Authors Notes: So I hope you liked it. Review it, I want feed pack, yes this is only a one chapter thing, please review. Was it good? Please review and check out my other stories.