TITLE: Past
AUTHOR: Carrie
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, just let me know so I can visit
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Alias or any of the characters that appear on the show.
NOTE: Okay, Vaughn confession time. I changed something in Chapter One too. Instead of him sitting at a desk for four years, he's only been there for three. Let me know if you like it!! Thanks for all the reviews!!!
CHAPTER FIVE
The ride to the airport was silent. Sydney's plane left first, and Vaughn saw her off, wished her a safe flight, but offered nothing more. His confession to her had made everything tense and left many things unsaid.
Sydney's time on the plane gave her an opportunity to think. She just didn't understand Vaughn. She didn't understand why he hadn't told her about his past. She wanted to know so badly what had happened to him. What could have been so bad that he had become a liability? What could have happened to make him give up the field for a desk when it was so obvious how much he loved it? Lately they had gotten so close, she felt like they were really starting to know each other, and then he sprung this on her, and now it felt like she barely knew him. There was so much that she wanted to know about him. Were there any other huge secrets in his past?
Sydney's thoughts were driving her insane, and making her tired. She decided to sleep for the remainder of the flight, and worry about Vaughn when she got back to LA.
She walked into her house and, luckily, no one was there. It was late, she was jetlagged, and all she wanted to do was go to sleep. She unpacked, changed, and crawled into bed. Tomorrow was Saturday and she could sleep in. Despite her worries about Vaughn, she was able to fall asleep quickly.
The next morning, Sydney was woken up abruptly and annoyingly by the shrill ring of the phone. It had obviously been ringing for a while because she heard the slam of the phone from the other room and Francie groaned, then yelled "Who the hell orders pizza on Saturday morning.
Great. Sydney thought. Just great. Why did he have to call so early? Very slowly, Sydney stretched, then threw the covers off of her and swung her legs off the bed. She took a deep breath and then stood up to go take a shower.
Once out of the shower, she slid on a pair of jeans and a sweater and headed to the kitchen. She started to make coffee, but gave up in the middle and decided the she would just buy some on the way. She scribbled a note for Francie and walked out the door.
Vaughn was waiting at the warehouse when she arrived, and the first thing that she thought when she walked up to him, was that he was wearing a suit. Back to the suits, she thought. It had been so refreshing to see him in regular clothes for their whole trip.
"Hi." She said. "Sorry I'm late, I picked up some coffee on the way." She said, raising her cup.
"It's fine." He said somberly. "Sorry I called you here so early, but I have to go into work today and I thought that you'd want to hear this." Vaughn started.
"The prototype, and the plans that you got from the lab were a huge step. The CIA had no idea how advanced the plans were for this device, tech was working on it all night, and this thing.well, it's unbelievable." Vaughn said, grinning a little. He went on. "What you got, was basically the nucleus of the satellite. This thing can do anything, and by the looks of it, it's taken years to go from the plans to where they are right now. This thing can actually target people from space and send a missile right to them. The technology is something that we've never seen before. It's remarkable." Vaughn said.
"Well, the CIA has it now." Sydney said, taking a sip of her coffee. She was glad that it had gone so well, but she had a lot of things on her mind.
"Thanks to you." Vaughn said, smiling.
"Are you kidding? I barely did anything. You were the one who pulled out all the super-spy moves at the last minute." Sydney exclaimed. Vaughn's face fell. "I'm sorry," Sydney said, "I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, don't be. Look, about that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I probably should have." Vaughn said apologetically.
"Why didn't you?" Sydney asked softly. "And don't say it's because I never asked, because that's not the type of thing that you ask."
Vaughn smiled a little. "I don't know really. Its just not something that I like to talk about." Vaughn replied, taking a seat on a stool.
"Why? What happened that you're not telling me?" Sydney asked, pleading with him. She took a seat adjacent to him, trying to look him in the eyes.
Vaughn shook his head. "Why do you want to know so badly?" He asked her.
"Because I want to understand. I want to know what made you the man you are today. I want to know why you gave up something that you obviously loved." Sydney pleaded.
Vaughn looked at her. "Fine." He said. "I told you that I was a field agent."
Sydney nodded.
"Four years ago, I was sent to Ukraine to uncover a mob that was supposedly selling weapons to terrorists of the US. My mission was to infiltrate the mob, so I applied for a job as a security detailer for Yuri Osip, the man suspected to be the head of the mob."
Vaughn paused and looked at Sydney. She was looking right at him, all of her attention focused on him.
"It took six months for me to be fully trusted by these people, meaning that I wasn't able to go anywhere without being followed for six months. My mission couldn't start for six months." Vaughn clarified. "Around this time, Yuri's daughter, Kathryn, Katie, showed up." Sydney's eyes perked up, wondering where this story was going. "Osip had had an affair with an American woman who had come to the Ukraine on business, and she got pregnant. Katie was born and raised in the US, and decided that she wanted to meet her father, so she came to the Ukraine. Long story short, Katie found out some things that she wasn't supposed to, and Osip wouldn't let her leave. She was a prisoner there." Vaughn looked at Sydney, the look in his eyes telling her just how serious and dangerous the situation was. "Osip assigned me to be the guard to watch her." Vaughn paused, and Sydney could tell that he was reliving something that was very painful for him. "Katie and I became close, we.we fell in love." Vaughn said nostalgically. "God I loved her." Vaughn said, looking down at the floor.
"What happened?" Sydney asked, not really sure if she wanted to know now.
Vaughn snapped out of his trance. "She became dangerous, at least Osip thought so. She wanted to leave, but he wouldn't let her. She threatened him. Told him that if he didn't let her go, she would find a way out and uncover his whole operation. By this time, I knew everything about Osip and his 'business.' We were just waiting for the right time, when we could catch him in the act, to shut down his operation. I had told Katie who I was, and what I was doing there. She had pretty much figured out on her own that her father was a bad guy." Vaughn smiled at this. "She was determined to leave, and she wanted me to come with her. I was going to do it too. But then Yuri found out. I still don't know how. They killed her. Right then, and I couldn't stop them. They were going to kill me too, but they decided that my deception was much bigger than Katie's, so they would torture me first. For nine days, I was held in the basement of Osip's estate, tortured everyday. I don't even remember the last couple days. The doctor's said I probably slipped into some sort of coma. Luckily, on the tenth day, a CIA team caught Osip in a deal and stormed the house at dawn. I was brought back to the US, hospitalized, and a few weeks later, I returned to work." Vaughn paused and looked up at Sydney. She had tears in her eyes. Actually, by now they were rolling down her face. She wanted to hug him so badly, but she wanted him to finish.
"What," her voice cracked, she tried again, "What did you do then?" she asked.
"I thought that I could handle it. That I could just go back to work, go back to missions, and everything would be like it was before." Vaughn paused and looked Sydney right in the eyes. "It wasn't. Everything I did drudged up painful memories. I couldn't do it. Every punch and kick I delivered reminded me of what I went through. I couldn't do it. I quit. I still wanted to stay in the CIA. I wanted to serve my country, just not in the same way. So for three years now, I've had a desk job." Vaughn finished. He was fine. Sydney couldn't see how he'd kept his composure so well. "That's it." He said, smiling at her, trying to make he see that it was okay. That he had dealt with this, and it was a long time ago.
"Vaughn." Sydney trailed off, trying to wipe away her tears. "I am so sorry." She said, a fresh onslaught of tears coming to her eyes.
"Hey," Vaughn said, reaching over to her and embracing her. "Shhh. Why are you sorry. You didn't do anything." Sydney pulled back.
"How can you be so nonchalant about this?" she asked, almost angry that he wasn't more upset.
"It was a long time ago. I've made my peace with it and moved on. I'm fine now." Vaughn reassured her.
"Really?" she asked, not sure if he was just saying it for her benefit.
"Really. And telling you this helped me too. I try not to think about, but telling you made me realize just how much has changed since then, and just how much I've moved on." Vaughn smiled at her.
"Good." Sydney smiled, her tears drying. "I should probably go." She said, standing.
"Yeah, probably." Vaughn said, standing with her.
She started to walk out, but stopped turning around. She didn't say anything though.
"What?" Vaughn asked her.
She started to say something, but stopped. "Never mind." She said, turned to walk away again.
"What is it?" Vaughn asked her again.
She turned to face him. "I was just wondering, if you're all better now, why aren't you back in the field?" Sydney asked.
Vaughn didn't say anything for a moment. Just as he was about too, Sydney interrupted him.
"Never mind. I'm sure you have you're reasons." Sydney said, and walked away quickly.
Vaughn remained in the warehouse for a while longer, digesting all that had just happened. He was surprised at himself at how easy it was to tell Sydney everything. He was also pleased, because he felt like he was really better. He really had moved on, and it felt great. He thought about Sydney's question. Why wasn't he back in the field? He missed it, badly. Every mission that he had gone on with Sydney had been fine. They had been more than fine, he had really loved it. He felt like he did when he first started. Then he realized what the real reason was.
Sydney.
I hope you guys liked it. Tell me if you think it's too mushy, or too dramatic. I'm going away for Thanksgiving, so I wanted to post something before I left. I'm going to write over the holiday though, so I should have something when I get back.
AUTHOR: Carrie
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, just let me know so I can visit
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Alias or any of the characters that appear on the show.
NOTE: Okay, Vaughn confession time. I changed something in Chapter One too. Instead of him sitting at a desk for four years, he's only been there for three. Let me know if you like it!! Thanks for all the reviews!!!
CHAPTER FIVE
The ride to the airport was silent. Sydney's plane left first, and Vaughn saw her off, wished her a safe flight, but offered nothing more. His confession to her had made everything tense and left many things unsaid.
Sydney's time on the plane gave her an opportunity to think. She just didn't understand Vaughn. She didn't understand why he hadn't told her about his past. She wanted to know so badly what had happened to him. What could have been so bad that he had become a liability? What could have happened to make him give up the field for a desk when it was so obvious how much he loved it? Lately they had gotten so close, she felt like they were really starting to know each other, and then he sprung this on her, and now it felt like she barely knew him. There was so much that she wanted to know about him. Were there any other huge secrets in his past?
Sydney's thoughts were driving her insane, and making her tired. She decided to sleep for the remainder of the flight, and worry about Vaughn when she got back to LA.
She walked into her house and, luckily, no one was there. It was late, she was jetlagged, and all she wanted to do was go to sleep. She unpacked, changed, and crawled into bed. Tomorrow was Saturday and she could sleep in. Despite her worries about Vaughn, she was able to fall asleep quickly.
The next morning, Sydney was woken up abruptly and annoyingly by the shrill ring of the phone. It had obviously been ringing for a while because she heard the slam of the phone from the other room and Francie groaned, then yelled "Who the hell orders pizza on Saturday morning.
Great. Sydney thought. Just great. Why did he have to call so early? Very slowly, Sydney stretched, then threw the covers off of her and swung her legs off the bed. She took a deep breath and then stood up to go take a shower.
Once out of the shower, she slid on a pair of jeans and a sweater and headed to the kitchen. She started to make coffee, but gave up in the middle and decided the she would just buy some on the way. She scribbled a note for Francie and walked out the door.
Vaughn was waiting at the warehouse when she arrived, and the first thing that she thought when she walked up to him, was that he was wearing a suit. Back to the suits, she thought. It had been so refreshing to see him in regular clothes for their whole trip.
"Hi." She said. "Sorry I'm late, I picked up some coffee on the way." She said, raising her cup.
"It's fine." He said somberly. "Sorry I called you here so early, but I have to go into work today and I thought that you'd want to hear this." Vaughn started.
"The prototype, and the plans that you got from the lab were a huge step. The CIA had no idea how advanced the plans were for this device, tech was working on it all night, and this thing.well, it's unbelievable." Vaughn said, grinning a little. He went on. "What you got, was basically the nucleus of the satellite. This thing can do anything, and by the looks of it, it's taken years to go from the plans to where they are right now. This thing can actually target people from space and send a missile right to them. The technology is something that we've never seen before. It's remarkable." Vaughn said.
"Well, the CIA has it now." Sydney said, taking a sip of her coffee. She was glad that it had gone so well, but she had a lot of things on her mind.
"Thanks to you." Vaughn said, smiling.
"Are you kidding? I barely did anything. You were the one who pulled out all the super-spy moves at the last minute." Sydney exclaimed. Vaughn's face fell. "I'm sorry," Sydney said, "I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, don't be. Look, about that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I probably should have." Vaughn said apologetically.
"Why didn't you?" Sydney asked softly. "And don't say it's because I never asked, because that's not the type of thing that you ask."
Vaughn smiled a little. "I don't know really. Its just not something that I like to talk about." Vaughn replied, taking a seat on a stool.
"Why? What happened that you're not telling me?" Sydney asked, pleading with him. She took a seat adjacent to him, trying to look him in the eyes.
Vaughn shook his head. "Why do you want to know so badly?" He asked her.
"Because I want to understand. I want to know what made you the man you are today. I want to know why you gave up something that you obviously loved." Sydney pleaded.
Vaughn looked at her. "Fine." He said. "I told you that I was a field agent."
Sydney nodded.
"Four years ago, I was sent to Ukraine to uncover a mob that was supposedly selling weapons to terrorists of the US. My mission was to infiltrate the mob, so I applied for a job as a security detailer for Yuri Osip, the man suspected to be the head of the mob."
Vaughn paused and looked at Sydney. She was looking right at him, all of her attention focused on him.
"It took six months for me to be fully trusted by these people, meaning that I wasn't able to go anywhere without being followed for six months. My mission couldn't start for six months." Vaughn clarified. "Around this time, Yuri's daughter, Kathryn, Katie, showed up." Sydney's eyes perked up, wondering where this story was going. "Osip had had an affair with an American woman who had come to the Ukraine on business, and she got pregnant. Katie was born and raised in the US, and decided that she wanted to meet her father, so she came to the Ukraine. Long story short, Katie found out some things that she wasn't supposed to, and Osip wouldn't let her leave. She was a prisoner there." Vaughn looked at Sydney, the look in his eyes telling her just how serious and dangerous the situation was. "Osip assigned me to be the guard to watch her." Vaughn paused, and Sydney could tell that he was reliving something that was very painful for him. "Katie and I became close, we.we fell in love." Vaughn said nostalgically. "God I loved her." Vaughn said, looking down at the floor.
"What happened?" Sydney asked, not really sure if she wanted to know now.
Vaughn snapped out of his trance. "She became dangerous, at least Osip thought so. She wanted to leave, but he wouldn't let her. She threatened him. Told him that if he didn't let her go, she would find a way out and uncover his whole operation. By this time, I knew everything about Osip and his 'business.' We were just waiting for the right time, when we could catch him in the act, to shut down his operation. I had told Katie who I was, and what I was doing there. She had pretty much figured out on her own that her father was a bad guy." Vaughn smiled at this. "She was determined to leave, and she wanted me to come with her. I was going to do it too. But then Yuri found out. I still don't know how. They killed her. Right then, and I couldn't stop them. They were going to kill me too, but they decided that my deception was much bigger than Katie's, so they would torture me first. For nine days, I was held in the basement of Osip's estate, tortured everyday. I don't even remember the last couple days. The doctor's said I probably slipped into some sort of coma. Luckily, on the tenth day, a CIA team caught Osip in a deal and stormed the house at dawn. I was brought back to the US, hospitalized, and a few weeks later, I returned to work." Vaughn paused and looked up at Sydney. She had tears in her eyes. Actually, by now they were rolling down her face. She wanted to hug him so badly, but she wanted him to finish.
"What," her voice cracked, she tried again, "What did you do then?" she asked.
"I thought that I could handle it. That I could just go back to work, go back to missions, and everything would be like it was before." Vaughn paused and looked Sydney right in the eyes. "It wasn't. Everything I did drudged up painful memories. I couldn't do it. Every punch and kick I delivered reminded me of what I went through. I couldn't do it. I quit. I still wanted to stay in the CIA. I wanted to serve my country, just not in the same way. So for three years now, I've had a desk job." Vaughn finished. He was fine. Sydney couldn't see how he'd kept his composure so well. "That's it." He said, smiling at her, trying to make he see that it was okay. That he had dealt with this, and it was a long time ago.
"Vaughn." Sydney trailed off, trying to wipe away her tears. "I am so sorry." She said, a fresh onslaught of tears coming to her eyes.
"Hey," Vaughn said, reaching over to her and embracing her. "Shhh. Why are you sorry. You didn't do anything." Sydney pulled back.
"How can you be so nonchalant about this?" she asked, almost angry that he wasn't more upset.
"It was a long time ago. I've made my peace with it and moved on. I'm fine now." Vaughn reassured her.
"Really?" she asked, not sure if he was just saying it for her benefit.
"Really. And telling you this helped me too. I try not to think about, but telling you made me realize just how much has changed since then, and just how much I've moved on." Vaughn smiled at her.
"Good." Sydney smiled, her tears drying. "I should probably go." She said, standing.
"Yeah, probably." Vaughn said, standing with her.
She started to walk out, but stopped turning around. She didn't say anything though.
"What?" Vaughn asked her.
She started to say something, but stopped. "Never mind." She said, turned to walk away again.
"What is it?" Vaughn asked her again.
She turned to face him. "I was just wondering, if you're all better now, why aren't you back in the field?" Sydney asked.
Vaughn didn't say anything for a moment. Just as he was about too, Sydney interrupted him.
"Never mind. I'm sure you have you're reasons." Sydney said, and walked away quickly.
Vaughn remained in the warehouse for a while longer, digesting all that had just happened. He was surprised at himself at how easy it was to tell Sydney everything. He was also pleased, because he felt like he was really better. He really had moved on, and it felt great. He thought about Sydney's question. Why wasn't he back in the field? He missed it, badly. Every mission that he had gone on with Sydney had been fine. They had been more than fine, he had really loved it. He felt like he did when he first started. Then he realized what the real reason was.
Sydney.
I hope you guys liked it. Tell me if you think it's too mushy, or too dramatic. I'm going away for Thanksgiving, so I wanted to post something before I left. I'm going to write over the holiday though, so I should have something when I get back.