Author's Note-Will update after every three reviews, there is a lot more to go after this so please read and review, any suggestions or comments can be left in a review or in an email.

Chapter 1

'I see the way his eyes search mine. I know what he is trying to find; answers to questions, questions of my childhood and what became of it. It would be so easy for him to find out especially since he is here and will be remaining at the Wayne manor with me for the remainder of the winter break. It didn't take much persuasion for Ms. McGinnis to allow him to stay. Nevertheless the Wayne Manor is filled with so many memories floating around with the aroma of my past. I would tell him if I could, but I won't make that mistake again.

'Every time he goes out, I wonder if he will come back at all, or if he'll decide that my life, or rather the life I used to lead is right for him. He will never be as good as me, or at least I hope that he won't be. My greatness and splendor are all I have left as I carry the name, but I must admit with a great deal of despondency that Terry McGinnis is now the Bat.' Bruce Wayne started getting aggravated with the road that his train of thought was taking. He sat back down at his desk and his train of thought started up again on the same dark and narrow course. 'I was the one who fought all the criminals, trained long and hard and what did I get, nothing, not a stupid thing at all. I wasn't expecting a thank-you, but god damn it; it sure would have been appreciated. That boy is getting all the glory. But he will soon realize that that he hates what he is doing and walk away from it all. Or will he?

'I can just imagine the day he will get unveiled. People will think Terry McGinnis is, and was the legendary Batman. And who will I be? I'll be the old man for whom Terry worked. When will I, Bruce Wayne be discovered? But isn't that what I have been trying so hard to avoid, being discovered. I just wish that some unsuspecting fool would stumble upon the truth, that I am the real Batman.

'Sometimes it takes all my might not to slap the boy when I mention Poison Ivy and all he does is say, "Who? " He doesn't understand that all of us that have bore the mantle worked hard, some even died for it. Sometimes I wish that the Joker would just reappear and drown the kid in laughing gas.

'I cared too much and let my feelings towards the kid's situation cloud my judgment about taking him in. I shouldn't even care about all the criminals that roam these god- forsaken streets. I've nothing left. Everyone I've cared for has died- died in this damn city and left me here to be old and alone. Alfred, mom, dad, everyone gone, just gone leaving me alone. I should just move on. But that was the one thing that Selena told me that I would never be able to do

'Selena I miss you beyond words. It plagues me to think that you will never know how much. You told me that night such a long time ago that I would never know how much. You told me that night so long ago that I would never amount to anything because I couldn't, or perhaps wouldn't put my parents' death behind me. But how could I? That tragic day marked my life forever. But that night, that furiously sober night that I hit you, was possibly the worst night of all nights past, present and to come. I knew the moment my hand struck your cheek that our life together was over. I lost you and our child, yes I knew, I found the pregnancy test that very night. I could have found you and our child. I could have made our marriage work but I didn't because I just had to fight crime. A great deal that has gotten me.'

Bruce's melancholy thoughts were interrupted when Terry McGinnis walked into the bat-cave already prepped in his bat-suit. He didn't want to be bothered with Terry's stupidity. As if the Gods were shining on Bruce Wayne for the very first time Terry left without a word surely to go out on his nightly patrol. At least with Terry out of the way he could return to organizing his thoughts before he went crazy.

He wasn't really trying to rid Gotham of crime; he was merely trying to hurt the one person who had brought all this pain into Bruce's life. The man who never thought that 'little Brucie' could amount to anything, so it was an inevitable truth that Bruce would grow up feeling that it was his sole duty in life to prove him wrong. Yes it was Dr. Thomas Wayne that had started the vicious cycle of vengeance that would threaten to ruin everything Bruce held dear, which apparently wasn't very much. That was how Bruce viewed things anyway.

He remembered then how he had met her as Cat-woman and then had married her as Selena Kyle. All through his life he was hoping that his father would have approved of what he was doing. His entire life was being controlled by the shadow of a dead man.

He slowly got up but his body seemed to be working against him and his balance was faltering. Finally he was able to reach he bat-cave exit. The elevator slowly reached the top floor of the Wayne manor. For a brief second Bruce expected to see Alfred standing there in the kitchen but instead found no one. When Alfred had been around, everything had been easier. Bruce owed a lot to that man and knew that without him he would have gone crazy from the start.

When he had found out that Alfred had been sick for so many months and hadn't said anything to him, Bruce had been heartbroken. He was also furious and had asked Alfred why he hadn't told him about his illness which resulted weeks later in a painful death. Alfred had truthfully and simply said to Bruce that he would not have been able to handle it; truer words had never been spoken.

The funeral had been held on the Wayne manor and Alfred's family (which had been surprisingly large) came. They all wanted to speak to Bruce, but he couldn't bear to face their looks of pity. He overheard Alfred's sister Winifred cursing Bruce's name because he had been too self centered to even notice a sick, dying man. Was she right; was Bruce Wayne too self centered?

A simpler man, fighting strong doses of occasional depression would have pulled the trigger right then and there, but instead Bruce became obsessed with fighting crime, not to mention drinking. He didn't wait for criminals to strike; he felt a need to get the criminals first. He was slowly becoming a monster. Bruce would have, if Selena hadn't started on a notorious crime spree that had kept him occupied. But it was she that had kept his mind going in circles not the crimes that she committed.

Soon they discovered each other in ways that didn't even seem possible. Selena Kyle became Bruce Wayne's and he wasn't about to let anyone hurt her. But it was that possessive nature of his that would scar him for life. She was probably better off without him. Or at least that was what Bruce had forced himself to believe in order to keep what little remained of his sanity.

Bruce stood up and as if all had been clarified made the decision to find his wife, the only thing that could fill the gap that enveloped his heart and soul. It was going to be an easy enough task, and it made Bruce feel ashamed that he had let fear dictate his actions, the one action that had even caused Selena to leave him. Now it was all a matter of obtaining a phone book.

"Got it," Bruce murmured to himself as he succeeded in finding Selena's phone number thirty minutes later. All he had to do now was pick up the nearest phone and dial the seven simple digits.

He couldn't help but feel foolish as he felt his heart start palpitating furiously. The phone call could either secure a future relationship with Selena or sever any chances of such a thing. Bruce now held the phone in his sweaty hands, and dialed while taking long deep breaths.

By the fourth ring the suspense was becoming unbearable. It was at the fifth ring that someone finally picked up

"Hello," said a voice that slightly surprised Bruce, for it was male. It had never occurred to him that she might be with someone else. Or perhaps that was her son…their son.

"Hello, may I speak with Selena Kyle?"

"May I ask who this is?"

"Certainly, Mr. Wayne. I would be very pleased if I could speak to ms. Kyle. "

"Very well," said the male voice that now sent nervous chills up Bruce's spine. In a few seconds he would be speaking to Selena. He couldn't help but worry that he would say something completely inappropriate that would warrant a hang up on Selena's part.

"Hello. This is Selena speaking…Hello? Hello?"

"Hello"

"Bruce?" Selena said in a voice that was hardy above a whisper. In the same tone Bruce responded, "Yes, Selena it's me. Please don't hang up."

"What is wrong with you? You can't just call me, what if Kaile had picked up the phone, it's hard enough raising a child alone, without having the kid's father calling up and completely destroying the lie that you were dead" She had now had begun to sob reliving the past 17 years in her mind, feeling every heartache.

Bruce sat in his chair completely bewildered. When he finally found his voice he said, "Who, what? A daughter. A single mother, then who was that guy--"

"Bruce why have you called?" Selena interrupted Bruce. It was evident that she was still crying and feeling vulnerable, not knowing what Bruce wanted back in her life; not that she would ever let him back in.

"I called because I," Bruce hesitated knowing how pathetic his following words were going to sound. But he had to say them, because if he didn't say them now he never would. "Well, because I love you."

At first Bruce thought that perhaps thought that perhaps Selena had hung up but then he heard a sigh before she resumed the conversation. "Bruce, you can't just say that you can't. It breaks heart that now after all this damn time you would even be able to say that. I loved you once, and I admit that I still do… but that said I wouldn't take the chance of being hurt again or Kaile- not ever. I swore that, the night I left. I 'm sorry Bruce, but you'll just have to try to keep me out of your mind the same way I have tried so hard to keep you out of mine."

'But you've been in my every thought, ' he thought but didn't say aloud. It was now as that Bruce felt a tear flow down his cheek that he said, "But-no you're right Selena this was all a mistake. Thank you for making that clear. My whole life has been a mistake."

"Bruce, oh god Bruce, don't go there. I should have known that you'd resort to--"

Bruce didn't really know what had just happened or if he had really meant what he had just said; but what was done was done. He quickly hung up the phone already regretting calling in the first place.

He knew that sleep was not going to come easy tonight. When sleep finally came it was filled with horrid memories if a night mixed with the distinctiveness of dreams, which Bruce had hoped was long forgotten.

Bruce is sitting at his desk fixing a broken radio. It is taking him a long time to fix considering that he had built it himself. Selena appears in the doorway and proceeds to talk attracting Bruce's attention, which is evident since he turns to her giving her what would seem to be his full attention, but his hands are still tugging at wires.

"Come on Bruce, you're always talking about how you have to protect Gotham. What if we have a family? Where would that live us? Before we were married I was Cat-woman, it wasn't a lifestyle I enjoyed, but it was my life; I gave it up for you and yet you refuse to do the same for me. You haven't Bruce, Bruce it 's been a year." At that moment the radio bursts into flames. Bruce stayed right where he was not making even the slightest attempt to extinguish it. Selena walks towards the fire and continues speaking, "I still go to sleep alone hoping that when I wake you'll be in the kitchen talking with Alfred, alive."

It is now after Selena's tirade that Bruce's finds his voice to speak, "I thought that you knew that this is my life, and that that this was how our life was going to be! I can't change overnight."

Selena looks as if she has just been slapped beyond measure. "No, you don't get it, Tim and Dick, they all left you, and I didn't want to leave you, but you're making this way too hard. You told me why you took on the mantle, well GET OVER IT!"

He stands forgetting the fire so close to him and lunges himself onto Selena and with three swift, heavy punches directed at his spouse, sits back down. Selena just stares at him from the floor on which she lay feeble with a mocking smile playing at her lips, as if this has all been a stupid game.

Bruce feels the fire enveloping him trapping him in a flaming circle of fear of abandonment. It is now that what he has done dawned on him. He wants to reach out and beg for absolution, but the fire prevents him from doing so. He looks at Selena from amidst the fire and watches as she simply disintegrates into a pile of golden dust. A scream of defiance erupts out of nowhere and when Bruce notices that the scream belongs to him the dream dissolves. He awoke with a scream still fresh from a nightmare that has plagued him for 17 years.

Terry who had arrived ten minutes earlier hurries into the room, fearing what a scream might mean.

"Get out!" Bruce just wanted silence.

Terry started to leave when he hissed something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing"

"What… was… it…?" It wasn't merely a question it was a command.

"I said that I wished that I could have e the man you used to be… the excuse of a man I see before me. " He added with a snarl as he then proceeded to walk out.

"No you don't, I don't even want to think of that person."

"Whatever." With that final remark Terry slammed the door.

-Enemesis Rogue

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