A/N: I made this story out of a joke my friend sent me through email. I think most of you might have received too, if you have please don't flame me for I do not claim anything to the storyline (though of course its been arranged by me). If you haven't, please enjoy it, for it is funny ^_^ My friends were in stitches for the longest time after reading my version of the joke! Do review, ne?

Disclaimer: Its the normal drill.

Pick your Fruits Carefully

The by-now-very-famous green Jeep rumbled through a dark rainforest, its passengers grumbling as usual.

"Sanzo! Totemo hara-hetta yo!! [I'm so hungry!]" Goku whined pleadingly.

Gojou looked at him, with one eyebrow raised. "Are you really? Well, I have no choice: eat this then." He shoved a white packet under Goku's nose.

Goku's eyes turned huge. "Waah! Gojou, yasashii hajimete ze! (You're kind for once!) Sankyuu! Itadakimasu!" His teeth clamped down on the packet hungrily and he chewed. "Pllack! Nani ka kore?!" He spat out the piece he had bitten.

"Cigarette butts in recyclable plastic. The author's insane in her "Save the Greens" plight. What did you think it was, baka SARU??"

"Saru, saru, yonde-nai zo! Ore saru ja nai!" [stop calling me monkey! I'm not a monkey!]

"Nan de? Ah, baka, baka chibi ka? Kono yaroo!!" [What? Ah, small idiot is it? Bastard!]

"Baka nani ka, kono ero-kappa!" [What idiot, you stupid water-monster!]

"Da to???!" [What did you say?!]

"Baka ero-kappa!" {Stupid water monster!]

"Omae ra kenka iru na??" [Are you picking a fight with me??]

"Uruse!!" *and the paper fan happily goes whack-whack-whack!*

Sanzo folded his arms, staring ahead stonily. "Lets just get out of here."

Hakuryuu gave out a small "kyuuu!"

Goku perked up immediately. "What did he say, Hakkai?"

Hakkai rubbed his head apologetically. "Ano... minna-san.... I think we are lost."

Silence. Crickets chirp.

"What did you say?!" Sanzo burst out, his head three times bigger than it was.

Suddenly the trees and bushes around them rustled. The four of them perked up, staring around suspiciously.

"Kuru zo!" [It's coming!]" Sanzo said.

The trees and bushes parted. About ten thousand strange little black men dressed in war paint and no taller than 3 feet jumped out uttering strange cries and immediately surrounded the Jeep. And they kept coming. Soon the whole forest was full of strange cries.

"Sanzo! Ano hito-tachi wa, nani ga?" [What are these creatures?!]

"How would I know!"

"*gasp* They're not dressed! And their willies are sticking out!"

"[sweatdrop] I don't think they adopted our custom of covering up...."

Overpowered, Sanzo-ikkou had to resort to let the strange little black men tie them upside down to long branches and being carried to the heart of the forest like pigs that were about to be roasted.

The little men dropped them down rather unceremoniously as they knelt down to the floor, their foreheads touching the ground.

"[whisper] What is this, Hakkai?" Gojou whispered.

"Saa...." [I don't know...]

"Sanzo? What are they going to do to us? I feel so hungry, I don't want to die on an empty stomach..."

"Urusai!"

They looked up at a strange little stage made out of branches. A little man, looking like all the other little men sat up on the stage. The only difference was that he wore a long head-dress.

He must be the head, Sanzo thought.

The little head man began gesturing frantically at them. "Fulefute fueafut futhefum!"

"HAH?!" Sanzo-ikkou sweatdropped.

About a thousand little black men rushed out and the branches to which Sanzo-ikkou were tied on were lifted up three feet from the ground.

A small, very old, bent man stepped out. He began to speak in halting Japanese....er... English... no Japanese.... er no.... forget it, INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE.

"Th' head is saying 'e wants yo' heads," The old man grinned, showing toothless gums.

"K'so! Hanare! Nani ka omae ra! [F*ck! Let me go! What are you guys!]

"We is th' Fu'Fu' clan. We is liking human's meat." The old man grinned again, this time his foul breath filled the air with a yucky greenish tint and equally yucky smell.

"C'hh.. You think we are so easily eaten?" Gojou sniffed, struggling at the ropes. "Let us go, you half baked brains!"

Suddenly he felt the ropes around him go slack. "Uh-oh." He crashed to the ground.

Goku immediately got up, shouting for an explanation.

"Fuiffu futhefuy fuwafunt fugfuo fufrfufee, fumufusfut fufifufruifut!" The headman announced sternly, staring with an evil eye.

The old little man coughed. "Right's. Th' head, he is saying he is wanting you four's to go find 's 10 fruits of th' same kind each in th' forest, and brings them backs here. If you cans do that and cans pass another easier trials later on, you is can go free."

Gojou immediately shot up, striking cool-boy pose. "Easy! Can we go now?"

He got up to rush off. Immediately one thousand little men surrounded him, pointing evil sharp spears. He held up his hands in surrender. "Right. On what condition?"

"Each of us thousand men will follows you. Now go, you is having only 3 minutes."

Sanzo ikkou, each accompanied by a thousand men, disappeared into the forest.

Gojou (as expected) came back first. He dropped his pile of fruits to the ground, as one thousand spears forced him to kneel down in front of the little head.

Gojou's choice of fruits: Mangoes.

Why : Because mangoes are so curvaceous... reminds me of babes... *licks lips*

"Fufufufu! Fustifucfuk fuifun fubufutt!" The headman roared. Around him, the endless little men echoed his laughter.

The old man stopped his laughing long enough to say, " Th's second trial 's to STICK th's fruits up your butt. If all 10 is go in with no expression on yo's face, you is free!"

"Fuzukeru na!" [You're joking!] Gojou's jaws dropped ten feet to the ground.

The little men swarmed over him and held him down. It took another hundred more to do the er... task ^_^.

1...2....3....4.....

"Argh!"

Poor Gojou was roasted over the fire and swarmed all over by little black men.

Next came Hakkai.

His choice of fruits: Bananas.

Why: Ooh, the banana bunches looked so JUICY, and HUGE, and LONG. I thought there would be enough for at least two thousand men. ^_^ Ano... we are gathering fruits for the little black men right.... ^_^;;;;

And here we go..... ^_^

1...2....3....4....5.....6.... (wow!)

"Yamete kudasai!" [Please stop!]

Poor Hakkai was chopped and thrown into a cauldron of burning oil and bread crumbs.

Next came Sanzo, who was grumbling and threatening to shoot the little black men. (which he had already done before he ran out of ammo)

His choice of fruits: Little strawberries.

Why: Alternative Ammo, baka.

^_^

1.....2.....3......4......5......6.....7......8......9.......

Sanzo, who had been holding in his laughter since the 7th strawberry couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out into very unSanzo-like maniacal laughter.

Poor Sanzo was eaten raw by the little black men.

Up in heaven, near the Gates which they had just entered through, Gojou and Hakkai sighed. "I can't believe we had to die."

The Gates started closing.

Suddenly Sanzo appeared behind them, with a very scary expression. "Don't forget me."

Gojou turned and looked at the monk in surprise. "I thought you had gone free! Trust the monk to choose strawberries....."

Hakkai smiled. "No, I heard you nearly made it, to the 9th berry. What happened?"

Hearing that, Sanzo, with a very straight face told them.

"I saw Goku coming with extra large pineapples."

babyg: If you aren't offended and (even!) want me to do more parodies of these jokes, you can tell me so in reviews! ^____^