In the dark recesses of the outer hallways, three ugly beasts sat in counsel with one another. Their hair was short and grey, greased with the grime of years. Their faces were studded with warts and hairy growths, protruding from the most impossible of chasms in their ghastly features.
They were the three fairies. Oh come on now don't be like that – fairies are NOT good, no matter what you think, no, they're much more terrifying than you could imagine. Yes I know I said they wished for peace, I told the truth, they wished for peace from the good-natured creatures of the fairy-tale world. They wanted stillness, and quiet, and for every beautiful object in existence to be dashed to the ground.
And to those who helped them, they gave a powerful gift, the gift of immortality.
Good? No it's not good – I told you so already didn't I? Oh I suppose I'll have to explain again.
Immortality is by no means a gift. It is a curse. Imagine it, living on while all your family (conceived prior to your immortality of course) perish, waste away, and leave you, abandoned. Not only that, but your body does not remain immortal, only your spirit. You age and decay as time goes by, and only your mind stays intact, though after a couple of millennia that can go a bit potty too you know.
It was this curse of immortality that Isaac sought after. He took counsel from the fairies, as I told you before, and took their advice. He would soon repay them greatly.
So anyway, where were we? Ah yes, the fairies, in the hall, taking counsel.
"What are we to do? You know full well we cannot simply march in there and place our curse upon the child." Mistress filth was, by all means, the most intellectual of the three, but by far the least inventive.
"We'll kidnap her!" Mistress grime was the most inventive.
"And how do you propose we do that? We need to keep up our pretence you know, otherwise everyone'll begin to think that the witches are the good'uns, and not fairies." Mistress strife was neither inventive nor intelligent, but she had a good dose of common sense.
Between the three, they were the prime example of teamwork. Yes, granted, it might have been unhealthy, evil, often downright retch-worthy teamwork, but nevertheless, still teamwork.
Isaac interrupted their thoughts, closely followed in by Roland. The fairies heard their approach and speedily set a spell upon themselves to make them appear as sweet old ladies. A mighty enchantment, I can tell you. Took a great deal of effort.
Isaac came over to them, dragging Roland behind him. "I promise you Roland, I can find a solution for this. I don't want to see your girl get hurt any more than you do."
"I-oughtta…" Began Roland, raising his fists when they were let loose. Isaac raised an eyebrow and cocked his head in the direction of the three fairies, who now all stood watching intently, clasping their hands together. "You wish for counsel your highness?"
Isaac walked over and clapped Mistress grime on the back heartily, following in a great deal of spluttering and choking. "Yes, my old dear! The princess Rose has just been cursed to death. Just wondering if you could help us out?"
He gave a sly wink to Mistress strife, who cackled insanely, quickly checking herself and turning it into a hearty chuckle. "Well, well now. I believe a short talk is needed with my two sisters?"
They nodded their heads emphatically, and they all huddled together in a group, their heads close to each other's.
Mistress strife spoke her thoughts clearly and properly, in order for her sisters to understand. They didn't have any common sense after all, and needed a bit of poking every now and again before they had any consistency whatsoever. "Here's our chance, sisters. We can take the child Rose away from Roland, and do with her what we will."
Mistress filth decided to take control at this point. Her sisters had their own good points, but to all accounts they were dim-witted idiots and not to be trusted with such a task alone. "We'll kidnap her, and take her away into the woods, there we can use her for a slave girl! She can be slowly tortured, oh it'll be so much fun!"
As Mistress filth began to clap her hands together lightly in glee, mistress grime decided to take control of the situation. Her sisters were after all, the most boring fools on the face of the earth, and needed a bit of jostling from time to time to have an original thought. "We can tell Roland that we're taking her for protection, and that the witches' evil spell will not enter our home in the woods."
The thought of the woods was not a terribly attractive thought to the fairies, all that nature, and those animals… but then there was fantastic hunting to be had, and the stagnant pools of water hiding in the depths of the jungle-like forest were a perfect place to set up home.
Their minds made up, they unattached themselves from each other, and spoke once more to the royal pair before them.
"King Roland, we understand the terrible fear that you must be feeling at this moment…" Mistress grime was interrupted by her sister filth.
"And we wish to help you as much as we can…" yet another interruption from strife.
"So we will take the child Rose, and care for her by ourselves. The curse shall not enter the barrier we set up around her."
Roland's eyebrows seemed to be undergoing an immense battle with his forehead, he frowned, he looked surprised, he winced, he smiled, his face was altogether rather confused, let me assure you.
But soon, he conceded, and agreed with the fairies' counsel. "Very well, you may take our daughter upon this eve." It was a tough decision to make. He didn't love his daughter, oh good heavens above no. The only reason he was so reluctant to part with her was the money.
Through her celebrations came gifts, through gifts came the marketplace, from the marketplace there came money. Big Money.
So big in fact, that you'd have trouble fitting one of those coins through the slot in a piggy bank. You'd have trouble taking a bag of those coins through a door. You'd have… you get the picture.
The fairies nodded insanely, and hustled away to Rose's room, where she was soon to return. They all hid in various places, the enchantment of beauty and innocence now completely failed.
Strife hid behind a curtain, grime under a blanket (Where, if Rose were to look, she would see a great deal of chocolate stains and other unmentionables from the fairy's presence) and filth hid in a cupboard.
Soon enough, Rose walked through the huge double door to her room, only to have a brown cotton bag pulled down over her head, her hands bound to her sides, and her feet bound to each other.
She was dragged through the corridors and halls of the palace, kicking and screaming.
And so it continued for much time, until the fairies reached the forest. There, Rose was loosed of her ropes and bag, and looked with horror upon her kidnappers. To the surprise of all three fairies, she began to scream in a way not entirely expected from a six year old princess.
"Who the hell are you? My father worships the ground I walk on, when he hears about this, he will EXPLODE!!!"
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Roland stood in his room, looking over his accounts. Soon, he began to chuckle heartily. He didn't realise how much this would pay to his advantage. All that money.
He had it back! No more expensive gowns, no more handmaidens to pay for, and best of all, no more feasts!
Of course his loyal subjects wouldn't be too happy – that meant less alcohol, but for him it brought the best of news.
His glee and jollity were interrupted when a witch stormed through the door, with a bone to pick.