Chapter 13: Gaps

An unusually somber Ayame? Some angst? The chapter has it all for you!

"Ayame…san?" stammered Tohru as she looked at the mysterious older version of Yuki who was looking at them -at Yuki in particular- with an unreadable goofy smile on his face.

"What are you doing here?" asked Yuki through gritted teeth, refusing to even glance at the man's way.

In one swift movement, Ayame was standing before them, arms outstretched towards the nezumi. "Is that how you should greet your long-lost elder brother?"

"E-Elder brother?" echoed Tohru as she recalled Shigure's words.

"I'll tell your brother!"

His blazing purple eyes pierced Ayame. "Why are you here?"

"I came to see you..to check on you, my little bro." He drew nearer towards Yuki, and the latter stepped back not-so-subtly. "Do not fear. Your big brother's arms shall wrap around your longing soul, and everything shall be alright-"

"Don't take a step near me or I'll call the cops!" threatened Yuki.

But his brother didn't listen. "Yuki, dear Yuki, past is past! What is important is the future, and we should start the future now-" He slipped on the long trail of his crimson mandarin-style outfit and fell on Tohru.

Poof!

Yuki's eyes widened.

A snake was lying on top of Tohru's chest, and the girl looked ready to pass out anytime.

"P-Please..g-get..it.off," she whispered tightly.

"Somebody get that creature off her!" wailed Kyo, but he was not making any move to go and take the snake off himself.

Yuki was frozen. "Honda-san, calm down," he tried, but she was on the verge of tears. Maybe I should just go and grab the snake off her chest…it's not like I should put malice on something I may accidentally touch…I'll just be careful. Right, I'll do it.

Shigure emerged from the house. "Hi everyone! Anyone has seen Aya yet? He said he'd drop by here-" He stopped when he saw Tohru on the ground, and Yuki -his back facing him - bending down towards her, reaching for her chest. "Yuki-kun, what are you doing?!!" he wailed. "I didn't know you are the type to-"

Kyo's fist smacked down on his head. "Shut up, you perverted old man."

Yuki faced Shigure, purple eyes burning now. "Looking for your guy? Here he is. Take him now before I lose control of myself and skin him alive."

Shigure rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Aya, what happened?"

"Take him now, Shigure," said Haru. "If you still want to keep Ayame alive."

Tohru placed a blanket on the snake and sighed. "I'm sorry for freaking out, Ayame-san, but you see, you took me by surprise. I can stand snakes, really, but seeing one up close all of a sudden…"

Shigure patted her comfortingly. "Aya understands. The reason he came here other than to see Yuki was to see you."

"See me?" she echoed.

Yuki stirred from the corner.

"He has a lot of things to tell you, as well as a lot to know about you," continued the novelist. "He was very interested when he learned that we got his brother a personal attendant. You see, Ayame heard that his brother is very independent."

"You talk too much, Shigure," snapped Yuki.

"I also came here to announce that I'll be doing the wardrobes for your school play!" announced snake Ayame brightly.

"What?!" Yuki choked. "You can't do that!"

"Why not? My skills in dressmaking is remarkable, or so my customers say," said the snake.

Yuki didn't bother to ask what kind of people his brother's customers were. "But you just can't barge into our lives and mess with them!"

Tohru covered her mouth to stifle a gasp, but Yuki heard it. He looked down, humiliated. "I'm sorry, Honda-san."

For what?

Shigure shrugged. "Call me when it's dinner time, Tohru-kun. I can't stand family pow-wows." He started to go to his own room. "See ya later, Aya. I'll just finish the script for the school play."

"Later," echoed the snake brightly. It turned to its brother once again. "So Yuki, I heard you are going to play the prince. That's a good role!"

"I don't think I asked for your opinion," said the younger Sohma coolly.

"Yeah. I popularized the word unsolicited. Part of the job description of a big brother!"

Tohru was stunned. How can Ayame-san endure Yuki-kun's indifference without feeling hurt? And why is Yuki-kun treating him that way? They're siblings, right?

Yuki stared at the snake darkly. "Why are you bothering to pretend being a big brother to me now? It's too late. I don't need one anymore."

She looked at Ayame in bewilderment. What is Yuki-kun talking about? She then stole a look at Yuki's face. Hatred. Yuki-kun's gentle face…never in my life have I ever imagined that he is capable of such emotion. His face is meant only for gentle smiles…this can't be real.

"I'm making it up to you now…if you will only let me," said the snake sadly. "God knows how much I've regretted what I did. Your memory haunts me day and night."

Tohru could feel her heart break with the sincere sorrow in his voice. Yuki-kun, listen to him. Listen to your big brother, she pleaded silently.

But all she saw was a look of pure ice on his face. "Serves you right," he said in quiet fury.

Yuki was long gone in the room, but Tohru was still shocked.

It couldn't have happened. Yuki-kun could have never uttered such cruel words.

She didn't notice that a sob has escaped her throat already.

"Please don't cry," begged a voice beside her.

She looked down. "Ayame-san!"

The snake slithered to her lap and looked up at her. "Don't. You can break any man's heart with your tears."

"B-But…I don't understand…why did Yuki-kun say such things to you? You're his brother!" she cried.

The snake looked down. "He has every right to do that. I was never a brother to him before. He's right. It's too late to try to mend things now."

"But you're the person closest to him in the world after your parents! Shigure-san could never take your place!" she burst out. "I don't know what happened between you two before, but I know it's not worth the hurt both of you are feeling now." A tear spilled from her eye. "It hurts to see Yuki-kun act like this…he's never like this. I know he's a very kind person, and he's just using terrible words to cover his sadness. I-I can't do anything to help him, even if he has helped me in so many ways already."

She felt a hand caress her cheek. She gasped when she saw that the snake has transformed back into human already.

"You are very kind too, Honda Tohru-san. I would like to say that even if I have met you only just now…"His eyes softened. "I can feel that I can trust you. Because I can feel your genuine concern for other people, especially for my brother. I thank you for that."

"Ayame-san…"

"I now feel at ease to tell you my story," he continued.

But before Ayame could start narrating, the door opened. "Oi, Tohru, when are you going to start making din-"Kyo's eyes bulged when he saw Yuki's brother sitting beside Tohru on the bed, the former stark naked.

Tohru freaked out. "I-It's not what you think it is, Kyo-kun! Neko-san! "

Kyo took only a split second to appear beside Ayame and beat the living daylights out if him.

"I was just about to get dressed when you appeared, you know," said Ayame, rubbing his head that Tohru bandaged awhile ago.

"Yeah right," muttered Kyo as he drank his milk.

"How dare you do that to Tohru-kun!" said Shigure playfully, waving his chopstick at Ayame. "Why, your brother hate you already for who you are!"

Yuki's chopsticks broke into two. "Shut up, Shigure," he said quietly.

Haru sneaked a glance at his beloved cousin before looking down at his meal thoughtfully.

"We were just talking," said Tohru soothingly. "Yuki-kun, is the seasoning just right?"

He refused to glance at her way. "Hai."

"I-I'm glad," she said awkwardly. First, it was Kyo who was avoiding her. Now Yuki?

"I'll start making the designs for your costume tonight, Yuki-kun," said Ayame brightly, as if there was no air of tension surrounding the room. "I have a rough sketch of how I would visualize you as a dashing prince. Would you like to see my sketch tonight?"

"No," said Yuki curtly.

"But why?" pressed his brother.

"Why should I explain myself to you? Who are you anyway?" asked the young Sohma. He stood up. "Excuse me. I am quite full." He got up and was about to leave the room when Tohru spoke up.

"Ayame-san told me that this dish is your favorite," she said quietly. "I made a lot because I thought you would like it. What a shame. It has to go to the trash can now."

Yuki was silenced, but he continued to his room anyway.

Ayame reached out and touched Tohru's hand. "Do not bother to intervene, Tohru. Thank you for your concern, but I don't think he would change overnight."

"Give him some time," said Shigure, apparently not affected by what just happened. This was obvious by how he gamely took bites after bites of the fish. "He's just…confused."

"Come," said Ayame. "I'll just tell you about my high school days with 'gure and 'tori, ok?"

She nodded.

Shigure grinned. "Oh boy, a trip down the memory lane! Brings back the memories of the time Aya was still the president of the student council…"

"President of the what?!" choked Kyo.

Ayame grinned. "Oh, how could I forget? That was the defining moment of my senior high school life!"

"Remember when we tried to organize a pageant but the administration shot it down?" asked Shigure.

"Why?" asked Tohru, wide-eyed.

"It was a male beauty pageant, and Aya is leading the show," said the novelist, exchanging high fives with Yuki's big brother.

Kyo's face was dark. "Oh…my…god…"

"And I was even asking 'tori to do a special dance number, but he just won't do it!" said Aya, face all flushed.

"I won't ask anymore what that special dance number is," said Kyo, hand on his aching temple. "I might just puke."

"But I practiced a number I wanted to present, and 'gure gave me the back-up sounds," said Ayame.

Tohru was all starry-eyed. "Wow, what was it?"

"A tribal dance," said Shigure, winking. "A dance of courtship."

"That's it!" Kyo was on his way to the bathroom, holding on to his throat.

Yuki looked down at his garden, eyes shaking.

No, he could never forget the sadness in Tohru's voice. She wasn't looking at him, and he wasn't looking at her, but her voice was enough to tell him that he hurt her.

"So there you are!" Haru sat down beside him. "I thought you were in your room already."

"I tried to sleep," said Yuki quietly. "But I can't."

"That's because you're guilty," said his cousin knowingly.

"I hurt her, I know, because I could feel the pain too," he confessed. "But I can't take back everything that I've said and done, as much as I want to."

"You're right, but you can try to patch things up," said Haru.

"Patch things up?"

"Just like what your brother is doing."

"Please don't mention his name here."

"But I have to. I just want you to see that everyone makes mistakes, even you. You hurt Honda-san, and you acknowledge it. The same way with your brother. He knows he hurt you, and he acknowledges it. He knows he can't take back the rejection he gave you before, so he's trying to make it up to you now. That is what you're going to do with Honda-san now. You must apologize to her before things get as serious as the gap between you and your brother," explained Haru.

Yuki nodded. "What you say..makes perfect sense. But it's so hard to smile at the same person who treated me like dirt when we were kids. I can't just welcome Ayame with open arms and balloons or party things."

"It's ok," said Haru, patting his shoulder. "Take your time. I'm sure you'll make Honda-san very happy if you try to open up to your brother."

"Honda-san…?" He smiled sadly. "I hurt her badly…I hope it's not too late."

"You know her more than I do, but I can say that she's the type to forgive seventy times seven times, and more."

"Then if it will make Honda-san happy…"

Tohru was brushing her hair and was just getting ready to sleep when she heard a sound of faint flute music from outside her room. She sleepily opened her windows and saw Yuki standing outside her window, looking up at her. "Honda-san? I'm sorry if I woke you up."

Her eyes widened. "Yuki-kun! I'm coming down!"

"No, I'm coming up." He effortlessly heaved himself up to her windows with the help of a tree by her bedroom window. He jumped into her window, smiling. "Good evening, Honda-san. I'm sorry to intrude at this time of the night, but you see, I cannot sleep in peace thinking that you are mad at me."

"B-But I'm not!" she stammered. "What gave you the idea I am?" She could feel her face turn red. Ah, a prince who entered her room through her window! Never in her wildest dreams did she think it would be possible.

"I was a jerk awhile ago. I'm sorry." He placed his flute on the table.

"No, it must be me who should apologize. I didn't know about your history with Ayame-san. He told me now, and I do understand now."

"You..do not hate me, Honda-san?" he asked cautiously. "Because of my rough attitude awhile ago?"

She shook her head. "No, I understand."

"I'm glad."

"But I hope…"She looked away, eyes uncertain. "…that you will give each other a chance to meet halfway. He is your one and only brother, and I don't think you'll have another one in your lifetime. Love him until he's still here…because tomorrow, you may regret not doing so while he was still here yesterday…"

Mother…

She gasped when she felt his palm caress his cheek, but his touch didn't comfort him the way Ayame's hand did. His touch woke her heart up, sending romantic electric shivers up and down her spine.

"I will do my best," he promised quietly. "And I promise never to hurt you again. I will never make you cry again, Honda-san."

"C-Cry? H-How.."

"The baka neko told Haru, and he told me." He smiled. "My sweet Honda-san, how did I ever live my sixteen years without feeling your kindness? I'm afraid I've gotten so accustomed to it that if ever the time comes for you to leave…" His words trailed off.

..I will die of a broken heart.

Tohru's heart was racing. "Yuki-kun…"

"Love is in the air…" a familiar voice sang softly.

Yuki stiffened.

Ayame appeared from the window, breeze blowing on his long silver hair. "When I heard the flute sound outside Tohru's window, I knew I could smell romance. Ha ha!"

Yuki was aghast. "W-What the..what the hell are you doing here?"

Tohru was shocked too. "Ayame-san!"

Ayame swung into the room, laughing delightedly. "Yuki, the Ice Prince, has melted with the warmth of Tohru-kun's tender loving care!"

"Shut up!" snapped Yuki, face burning.

Kyo burst from the window, eyes blazing. "You gay! How dare you try to pick the locks of my room and escape-" His forehead creased when he saw Yuki in Tohru's room. "Okaaay, what's this, a reunion? Why in her room?"

"She's a special girl," said Shigure, emerging from the door. "You wouldn't understand that, of course, basing on your remarkable social skills with females."

Kyo glared at the novelist. "Damn dog!"

Haru, yawning, walked into the room. "Will you just give poor Honda-san some peace? It's half an hour before midnight, for pete's sake!"

Tohru sighed as everyone in the room started talking all at once. She sneaked a look at Yuki, and was relieved to see that his face was displaying that usual exasperated look on his face again.

Hatred…I don't ever want to see that look again on your face, Yuki-kun. Where did you learn to feel that way anyway?

A bird landed on the mat, unmoving.

"Dead…unbreathing little thing."

Hatori knocked on the door before entering. "It's freezing out there. Come in where it's warm."

"The birds can stand the deathly chill." A malevolent smile crossed Akito's face. "I remember how I once made Yuki bury a bird in the garden. It was still moving, but breathing in deadly gasps, but I had it declared dead, so he had to bury it anyway. I can never forget that look on his face."

The doctor was silent.

"He had to learn how not to feel mercy…compassion…pity. Or else he wouldn't have accomplished the task." Akito looked at the doctor, "I want to see him again."

"There's an upcoming school play next week," said the doctor, voice emotionless. "Yuki will play the lead."

"I…can't wait…"

tsuzuku