Chapter 21! Never Say ^&%^% Again!!!

Author's Note: Hello and welcome back to Sage Kaley's politically incorrect adventure! Last time, our heroes were trapped in prison after being taxed for many stupid things…hey! Just like real life! Anyway, many a great things will happen in this chapter! So get ready!

"Sephiroth?!" Eiko cried, glaring at him. "Where the hell were you! Don't give me some bull about getting lost either! You just knew this would happen didn't you? Well your free and I'm not therefore you suck and I hate you."

"That's nice." Sephiroth shrugged. "Guess I won't free you guys then."

"Wait." The guard jumped out of his chair. "You're THE Sephiroth? The one that's in the new Broadway hit FF7: A Musical Adventure?!"

"The one and only." Sephiroth blew on his fingernails.

"Ohhh!" The guard squealed. "Can I have your autograph? Make it out to Biggs! Wedge is going to be so jealous!"

"That's a little too much…" Vivi said. "I mean, a ff staple appearing in an ff fic?"

"Well, really they're named after some pilots in the original Star Wars." Freya corrected Vivi.

"Really?" Vivi asked.

"Yeah, they were in the scene where Luke is being chased by Darth Vader while he tries to take out the death star." Freya grinned.

"You know, the first Star Wars was the best." Yuffie said.

"^&$^*$# that #^&*&!" Cid laughed. "The whole $#%*( trilogy rocks!"

"Except the new ones." Kuja said. "Those suck."

"Yeah, too much mushy lovey dovey crap!" Vincent said. "Oh Ankin this and forbidden love that."

"Damn straight!" Barret agreed.

"SHUT UP ABOUT STAR WARS!!!" Eiko yelled. "SEPHIROTH GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR AND GET US THE @%^*&*(^&%#$ ^#$^$%$&***((% $@@*()* @#%^^&@#&*($#&^$%^%$ OUTTA HERE!" Eiko finished screaming and everyone stared at her.  Cid's cigarette fell from his mouth.

"Damn!" Cid gawked at the little girl.

"Uh…that's what I came here to do." Sephiroth finished his autograph and pulled a HUGE wad of money from his pocket. "See? Bail money!"

"Oh." Eiko sighed. "Sorry, just I'm pissed cause I'm not getting my summon back or my wish or a crown with the title 'Queen Eiko, Royal Ruler of the Universe'."

"Hey, don't sweat it!" Sephiroth grinned. "I got us a flight to Japan while I was at it! I'll just bribe this easily manipulated guard and then I'll walk out of here with all you guys since this jail has many easily bribed guards!"

"Hey…that guard said you were in a play…when did you have time for that?" Kuja asked.

"Oh…well, I've been missing from this fic for just long enough to make a trillion doing the musical play in some casino." Sephiroth smiled. "Ohhhhh I am Sephiroth! I'm the greatest swordsman in the worldddddd! I slash and swing and run and kill and cut all day longgggg!" Sephiroth sang loudly. Biggs was beside himself with joy. Everyone else covered their ears and Kuja's tail hairs stood up.

"You made trillions singing that garbage?!" Kuja yelled.

"You bet I did!" Sephiroth grinned. "I'm a star baby! A shining star! FF fans will pay to see me do many things. You should see the mountain of panties I get thrown at me when I have my shirt off!"

"…I really doubt that." Kuja shook his head.

"Well, I doubt that you guys will make it to Japan by the end of this chapter. You guys just keep talking!" Serge shouted. Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Silent protagonist my arse." Kid laughed. "Square just got lazy and forgot to translate me mate's lines!"

"Damn straight!" Barret shouted again.

"Does he have to be a stereotype?" Freya asked.

"Damn straight I do!" Barret nodded. "I be the only brotha in Gaia yo! Square is whacked! They didn't even give me no bling bling!"

"Huh…I never noticed that." Freya looked at Vivi. "But he's black."

"No, he's a black mage!" Barret smiled. "I'm the only black person. Plus, if you didn't notice, I'm usually comic relief in fanfictions! Never a starring role for me! Stupid Square! If Tifa does win and there is a sequel, then they better get rid of my goddamn idiotic speech method." He paused and sighed. "Til den, I gotta be retarded like this yo! Bling bling dog!"

"Weird…" Freya stared at him. "Poor guy."

"Yeah…Square sure is strange sometimes." Kuja agreed. "Anyway, now that we're out of jail, let's hop a plane to Japan!"

6 hours later…

"Can't go on…" Eiko muttered. "Gonna die…oh God…"

"What's wrong with you?" Kuja asked. "You wanted the window seat!" They original four (Freya, Vivi, Eiko and Kuja of course.) were on a plane heading towards Japan.  The others had decided to stay and live up the Vegas nightlife for a while until they were forced to return to their pre-apocalyptic casinoless worlds. Freya and Vivi sat on the other side of the aisle.

"It's not the height!" Eiko glared at him. "I like the rush of being up high…it's just…Six hours?! When do we get there?!"

"The captain said about four to five hours." Vivi sighed. "This is a lot different then airships."

"Five hours?!" Eiko moaned, then turned to stare at the ocean below.

"Yeah…" Kuja was busy trying to pull a peanut bag apart. "The food sucks but these peanuts are great…except you need a Master's degree to open them!"

"I'll open them!" Vivi cried enthusiastically. He waved his hands and Freya, quick to see trouble, grabbed his hands and pointed them down. Fire appeared on the carpet.

"Quick, put it out!" Freya hissed. Vivi cast water on it and sighed.

"Sorry Freya…" Vivi said quickly. Freya didn't answer. "Freya?"

"I…don't like heights…" Freya closed her eyes. "Hate'em."

"Oh, I see…" Vivi pushed himself back into his seat. "So boring up here…don't they have any magazines for us to read?!" Just then, a flight attendant appeared next to Vivi.

"Of course we do sir! We have many magazines. I think you'd enjoy this one." The lady handed Vivi Official Playstation Magazine. On the cover said the Ominous words 'We're Finished.' The rest of the cover was black.

"Ohhh…that can't be good…" Vivi moaned. Freya glanced at it but didn't really notice. Eiko and Kuja took note however.

"What the…gimme that Vivi!" Kuja snatched the magazine from him and threw it open. He scanned it before reading it to the others. "This is what it says… 'This is a sad day for Playstation users. Many of you may of noticed strange things. Some of you were able to see a FF7 strip poker game…even though you were playing your trusty, been beat seven times copy of FF7. Others watched in horror as Sin disappeared from FF10, making it impossible to beat the game. Others of you are playing as Mogs because for some reason, only a few of the playable FF9 characters can be found now in the game.'" Kuja paused and blushed slightly then continued. " 'The FF series isn't the only thing weird. In the undead filled Resident Evil games, zombies have up and disappeared. Then in the Mario games, Mario's missing but in his place is Shinobi, which quickly changed the game to M rated. The point is, no game is safe. Of course, having Link bust up bosses in Sly Cooper is fun but things are out of control. (Many Aeris fans should note that she is a playable character in the FF9 world.) Many blame hackers but how? How could they break into not only every game console across the land but every game?! We've checked everything from demos to ancient secret games and it's all different. So it's the end. The apocalypse. Good by and see you on the other side.'" Kuja looked up at everyone. Vivi pounded his fist in his hand.

"We've gotta get things back to normal." Vivi said.

"We've got to destroy Tifa." Kuja smiled.

"We've got to land this plane." Freya moaned. Eiko didn't say anything. She just stared out the window.

"Five hours…" Eiko sighed.

The plane touched down in Tokyo Japan. It was packed with strange people so even the cross-dressing Kuja fit in. They pushed through the airport until they saw Zidane and Cloud, of all people, holding up a sign that read "Get Over Here Guys!" Kuja laughed.

"Ha! I figured you were lost!" Kuja mocked his brother. "Heh, I think the author forgot where she left you!"

"That's not true!" Zidane yelled. "Is it?"

"Probably." Cloud agreed. "Well, Square sent us here to find you guys."

"Why?" Eiko asked.

"Why?" Zidane grinned. "Because Tifa won. You guys are getting a sequel…"

"Really?" Vivi cried.

"Well…sort of." Cloud smiled. "You see, there's a game being maybe now called Tifa's Paradise…and you're all invited."

Author's Note: Finally, done! Hope you enjoy!