Reading Between the Lines
A New Mutants Fanfic by Brian Doyle
All characters are the property of Marvel Comics. This work is completely unauthorised.
No permission has been granted, no offence has been intended.
"Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men."
- Confucius
Part 1 - The Unspoken Words
It's almost ironic under these circumstances that I admit to never having felt at ease committing my feelings to paper. I value words and their power, and my overflowing library is a testament to my love of literature, but those are other peoples words, not my own.
Even when I had a book published, it was described by one critic as being; "an almost indigestible combination of abstract science and supermarket tabloid". Sadly, it's apparent failure to permeate the public consciousness seems to support that opinion.
And yet... somehow, writing this down seems appropriate.
When I left my students behind, through little choice of my own, I left them in the care of a man I trusted completely.
While I was... well, a distance so far away that numbers cease to have any meaning, I allowed myself the occasional fantasy that I could still sense my students thoughts, that whilst I was unable to contact them, I was at least aware of them. Foolish I know, my telepathic powers could not hope to operate on such a cosmic scale, but it made me feel more comfortable and seemed a harmless conceit.
The folly of this was driven home to me when I briefly met with one of my students in the far reaches of space. I was stunned to see Illyana, because in my fantasy I was utterly sure that the New Mutants were all back on Earth. Meeting with the other New Mutants shortly thereafter was a most welcome experience, and allowed me to apprise myself of their development and growth, which was all I could hope it would be, and more besides.
When I did finally return to Earth I almost reflexively did a psi-scan for my students; X-Men and New Mutant alike. A mere brush of mind to mind contact, to reassure myself of their presence. I was confident that they would still be there, confident that I'd have felt if anything untoward had happened to any of them. None of the X-Men who had come to fight by my side had kept me had told me the full situation back on Earth, we had been rather occupied fighting for our lives, but that is another story.
So when I sought out the minds of my New Mutants, I was pleased that not only were they there, but they had nearly all changed for the better, most had grown and matured, many had developed new passions and beliefs. It was only a surface scan, but I know my students.
Some changes delighted me, others worried me, but this is a risk one runs when one encouraging personal growth. Even the ones I found disturbing were at least heartfelt.
To a non-psi I cannot adequately explain the loss I felt when I found an empty space where I should have found a mind. I let my scan range wider and wider, hoping that he was simply displaced, but deep down I knew better. There was not just an absence of his own thoughts, but an absence of him in the thoughts of others, an echo of mourning.
I found a blank spot where Douglas Ramsey's mind had been, a hollow in the minds of his family, his teammates, his friends.
Perhaps I should explain, when I use my power to scan other minds, I do not sense merely individuals, I also sense them as they are seen by each other.
Where some people might see a room full of people, I sense an almost infinite web of thoughts and associations. When I scan my X-Men, I see not only Ororo's surface thoughts, but the emotions that Kurt felt the first time he ever saw her, I look at Kurt and sense a memory of the smell of damp fur that Logan has from a mission three years ago, which in turn links to Ororo summoning a tempest months ago, which recalls the scent of ozone when lightning struck Piotrs metal skin, and so on and so on. I see not only individuals, but their relationships and history with each other. It is quite, quite beautiful and almost impossible to convey to a non-psi.
I once discussed this concept with the New Mutants and, coincidentally enough, it was Douglas who coined the term "psychic fractal"; each thought I perceive links to another one tangential to the original which in turn leads to another even deeper thought, with no identifiable end to the pattern. I liked the term, and have used it since.
I wish I could say that his absence came as a total surprise, but that would be a lie. I can think of no student who was as seemingly unsuited to the life at the Xavier School as Douglas, yet there are few who embraced my principles quite so thoroughly.
He was the New Mutant I was most concerned about inducting; I worried about Roberto's over-confidence and Rahne's almost complete lack of same, but they at least had some means of protecting themselves. Douglas' mutant power was one of the most passive I have ever encountered, and yet one with almost unlimited potential.
In most cases I feel I comprehend my student's powers, Wolfsbane's shapeshifting is a relatively straightforward, if exotic, physical process. I can understand how Mirage's form of specific telepathy reaches into a targets mind to summon up an emotive image but Cypher's power continued to baffle me. It wasn't telepathy, and it wasn't psychometry, in some way it combined and transcended both in a remarkably specific way, dealing only with language and communication as best I could ever find out.
Telepathically learning a language from a native speaker is one thing, I can do that myself, and have many times, but to infer the written language of even a long dead alien culture would be beyond my skills, yet Douglas managed it in less than a day. To him there was no such thing as a "dead language".
The only mutant I know of with an even remotely similar power is Forge, and his ability to sense the potential within technology, but I confess I have never truly understood how his power operates either, classifying it vaguely as some form of precognition.
To lose such a gifted communicator now, when the world needs communicators more than ever...
In a few minutes, I am going to pick up this pen again and write something that I hope will be comforting, but will probably be hopelessly trite, to Philip and Sheila, offering my condolences on the loss of their son and apologising for not contacting to them before now, explaining that my "sabbatical" was so complete that no one knew how to contact me.
I will visit them later, but first I must ascertain whether they ever wish to see me again. I suppose I could use my telepathy to find out, but that would not be the proper thing to do under these circumstances.
God in Heaven, I've known the two of them for years and I have to play catch-up on such a tragedy, surely the worst that can befall a family. Philip did much of the legal work to help me establish this School when he was a newlywed just moved to Westchester and in need of the business. I remember his happiness as he talked about his wife and the birth of his son.
I sometimes met Sheila socially, though not often, and I never actually met Douglas until after he and Kitty became friends, though I heard a lot about him from Philip over the years. That's what made me first suspect he might actually be a mutant.
As happens so often to innocents in my life, Douglas became involved in our lives here, indirectly at first, but later directly.
I made it clear to Emma Frost that I would brook no interference with Douglas' life after her attempt to induct him into her Academy. I am surprised it had any affect, but she accepted his decline of her offer with relative good grace, and did not pressurise him in any way I could ever detect. But then, her manipulations were always most subtle when dealing with the New Mutants.
I had earmarked Douglas as a possible future member of my Mutant Underground, but as it turns out, my students had other ideas. I had mentioned my suspicions about his mutancy to them. In retrospect, I realise this was an unpardonable breach of privacy, Douglas' status as a mutant was no-one else's concern but his. I should not be in the position of "outing" mutants without their permission.
Still, in the cause of the greater good, the New Mutants had need of a linguist at short notice, and with no telepath's available, they took it upon themselves to involve Douglas.
As Warlock, and possibly many others, would have died otherwise, I can't blame them, but I can blame myself for allowing it to go further. I could have stopped his association with the other students at this stage, perhaps even a subtle mindwipe, loath though I am to use them.
I should know my students better, Sam and Danielle came to see me privately after their "field trip" to Lila Cheney's Dyson Sphere. They pleaded his case most eloquently, I'd rarely heard Sam so definite about anything before. They pointed out his willingness to risk himself for his friends, and the fact that it was only thanks to him that a worldwide catastrophe had been averted. They also asked me a question I had barely considered, or unconsciously ignored, myself.
"Professor, if a Sentinel was in a room full of humans, and Doug was in amongst them, would it ignore him?"
When I replied that a Sentinel would detect the presence of any mutant, I realised that they had me.
And then came the obvious final blow... "Well then, living as close to school as he does, doesn't he deserve the chance to be aware of that? For his own sake as much as anything else?"
At that I had to concur. They promised to keep a close eye on him in dangerous situations. (A promise I know now haunts them and their fellow students, as indeed it does both Magneto and myself)
Of course subsequent events proved them right in their assessment of Douglas' attributes. To say nothing of his first encounter with the Danger Room, an incident which still brings a smile even now.
I have often wondered if any of my students would ever turn to me after graduation and say "Thank you for teaching me to use my power, now I want to go out into the real world to lead a normal life." A part of me would rejoice, as such mutants will be as important to the future in their way as the X-Men are in theirs, but so far none have done so, despite some valiant attempts.
I used to wonder whether Douglas would be the first but, from my own experiences as well as the reports Magneto left, I doubt that he would have. It wasn't just the prospect of adventure that appealed to him, though I can see how that would influence any adolescent. It was a deep-rooted need to see the right thing done, to protect the innocent. A fine cause, and despite everything he endured in his time at my School, an aim he believed in to his very last action.
He could have stayed in the background of the team, his computer skills would have made him an invaluable asset as support, communications, tactics and research - skills frequently lacking in my teams I admit. No-one would have thought any less of him for it, but he wanted to be out in the field, helping his friends and making a difference.
I know that he forged a particularly close friendship with Warlock, and for that I am glad, they made an ideal pairing; great power working in harmony with great responsibility, each complementing the other. An alien who knew no earth language in conjunction with a human mutant who knew them all, as fitting an example of harmony as my school has ever produced.
And to what long term use have I put his gifts? The security for the Xavier Protocols is based on a term paper I set him during his second semester. It's a foolproof genetically-based multiple decryption series, a most elegant program. It should be a fitting tribute to his gifts, and now I'm using it to store up data on how to kill every mutant I've ever met, including my own students. The irony of that situation isn't lost on me, I assure you.
There are things I should have said, things a teacher is supposed to say. I should have said how proud I was of him more often, I should have said how much I admired his courage.
However, I hope, no I _know_, that if anyone could hear the unspoken words it would be him.
And now the hardest part of this evening's task....
"My dear Philip and Sheila......"
A New Mutants Fanfic by Brian Doyle
All characters are the property of Marvel Comics. This work is completely unauthorised.
No permission has been granted, no offence has been intended.
"Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know men."
- Confucius
Part 1 - The Unspoken Words
It's almost ironic under these circumstances that I admit to never having felt at ease committing my feelings to paper. I value words and their power, and my overflowing library is a testament to my love of literature, but those are other peoples words, not my own.
Even when I had a book published, it was described by one critic as being; "an almost indigestible combination of abstract science and supermarket tabloid". Sadly, it's apparent failure to permeate the public consciousness seems to support that opinion.
And yet... somehow, writing this down seems appropriate.
When I left my students behind, through little choice of my own, I left them in the care of a man I trusted completely.
While I was... well, a distance so far away that numbers cease to have any meaning, I allowed myself the occasional fantasy that I could still sense my students thoughts, that whilst I was unable to contact them, I was at least aware of them. Foolish I know, my telepathic powers could not hope to operate on such a cosmic scale, but it made me feel more comfortable and seemed a harmless conceit.
The folly of this was driven home to me when I briefly met with one of my students in the far reaches of space. I was stunned to see Illyana, because in my fantasy I was utterly sure that the New Mutants were all back on Earth. Meeting with the other New Mutants shortly thereafter was a most welcome experience, and allowed me to apprise myself of their development and growth, which was all I could hope it would be, and more besides.
When I did finally return to Earth I almost reflexively did a psi-scan for my students; X-Men and New Mutant alike. A mere brush of mind to mind contact, to reassure myself of their presence. I was confident that they would still be there, confident that I'd have felt if anything untoward had happened to any of them. None of the X-Men who had come to fight by my side had kept me had told me the full situation back on Earth, we had been rather occupied fighting for our lives, but that is another story.
So when I sought out the minds of my New Mutants, I was pleased that not only were they there, but they had nearly all changed for the better, most had grown and matured, many had developed new passions and beliefs. It was only a surface scan, but I know my students.
Some changes delighted me, others worried me, but this is a risk one runs when one encouraging personal growth. Even the ones I found disturbing were at least heartfelt.
To a non-psi I cannot adequately explain the loss I felt when I found an empty space where I should have found a mind. I let my scan range wider and wider, hoping that he was simply displaced, but deep down I knew better. There was not just an absence of his own thoughts, but an absence of him in the thoughts of others, an echo of mourning.
I found a blank spot where Douglas Ramsey's mind had been, a hollow in the minds of his family, his teammates, his friends.
Perhaps I should explain, when I use my power to scan other minds, I do not sense merely individuals, I also sense them as they are seen by each other.
Where some people might see a room full of people, I sense an almost infinite web of thoughts and associations. When I scan my X-Men, I see not only Ororo's surface thoughts, but the emotions that Kurt felt the first time he ever saw her, I look at Kurt and sense a memory of the smell of damp fur that Logan has from a mission three years ago, which in turn links to Ororo summoning a tempest months ago, which recalls the scent of ozone when lightning struck Piotrs metal skin, and so on and so on. I see not only individuals, but their relationships and history with each other. It is quite, quite beautiful and almost impossible to convey to a non-psi.
I once discussed this concept with the New Mutants and, coincidentally enough, it was Douglas who coined the term "psychic fractal"; each thought I perceive links to another one tangential to the original which in turn leads to another even deeper thought, with no identifiable end to the pattern. I liked the term, and have used it since.
I wish I could say that his absence came as a total surprise, but that would be a lie. I can think of no student who was as seemingly unsuited to the life at the Xavier School as Douglas, yet there are few who embraced my principles quite so thoroughly.
He was the New Mutant I was most concerned about inducting; I worried about Roberto's over-confidence and Rahne's almost complete lack of same, but they at least had some means of protecting themselves. Douglas' mutant power was one of the most passive I have ever encountered, and yet one with almost unlimited potential.
In most cases I feel I comprehend my student's powers, Wolfsbane's shapeshifting is a relatively straightforward, if exotic, physical process. I can understand how Mirage's form of specific telepathy reaches into a targets mind to summon up an emotive image but Cypher's power continued to baffle me. It wasn't telepathy, and it wasn't psychometry, in some way it combined and transcended both in a remarkably specific way, dealing only with language and communication as best I could ever find out.
Telepathically learning a language from a native speaker is one thing, I can do that myself, and have many times, but to infer the written language of even a long dead alien culture would be beyond my skills, yet Douglas managed it in less than a day. To him there was no such thing as a "dead language".
The only mutant I know of with an even remotely similar power is Forge, and his ability to sense the potential within technology, but I confess I have never truly understood how his power operates either, classifying it vaguely as some form of precognition.
To lose such a gifted communicator now, when the world needs communicators more than ever...
In a few minutes, I am going to pick up this pen again and write something that I hope will be comforting, but will probably be hopelessly trite, to Philip and Sheila, offering my condolences on the loss of their son and apologising for not contacting to them before now, explaining that my "sabbatical" was so complete that no one knew how to contact me.
I will visit them later, but first I must ascertain whether they ever wish to see me again. I suppose I could use my telepathy to find out, but that would not be the proper thing to do under these circumstances.
God in Heaven, I've known the two of them for years and I have to play catch-up on such a tragedy, surely the worst that can befall a family. Philip did much of the legal work to help me establish this School when he was a newlywed just moved to Westchester and in need of the business. I remember his happiness as he talked about his wife and the birth of his son.
I sometimes met Sheila socially, though not often, and I never actually met Douglas until after he and Kitty became friends, though I heard a lot about him from Philip over the years. That's what made me first suspect he might actually be a mutant.
As happens so often to innocents in my life, Douglas became involved in our lives here, indirectly at first, but later directly.
I made it clear to Emma Frost that I would brook no interference with Douglas' life after her attempt to induct him into her Academy. I am surprised it had any affect, but she accepted his decline of her offer with relative good grace, and did not pressurise him in any way I could ever detect. But then, her manipulations were always most subtle when dealing with the New Mutants.
I had earmarked Douglas as a possible future member of my Mutant Underground, but as it turns out, my students had other ideas. I had mentioned my suspicions about his mutancy to them. In retrospect, I realise this was an unpardonable breach of privacy, Douglas' status as a mutant was no-one else's concern but his. I should not be in the position of "outing" mutants without their permission.
Still, in the cause of the greater good, the New Mutants had need of a linguist at short notice, and with no telepath's available, they took it upon themselves to involve Douglas.
As Warlock, and possibly many others, would have died otherwise, I can't blame them, but I can blame myself for allowing it to go further. I could have stopped his association with the other students at this stage, perhaps even a subtle mindwipe, loath though I am to use them.
I should know my students better, Sam and Danielle came to see me privately after their "field trip" to Lila Cheney's Dyson Sphere. They pleaded his case most eloquently, I'd rarely heard Sam so definite about anything before. They pointed out his willingness to risk himself for his friends, and the fact that it was only thanks to him that a worldwide catastrophe had been averted. They also asked me a question I had barely considered, or unconsciously ignored, myself.
"Professor, if a Sentinel was in a room full of humans, and Doug was in amongst them, would it ignore him?"
When I replied that a Sentinel would detect the presence of any mutant, I realised that they had me.
And then came the obvious final blow... "Well then, living as close to school as he does, doesn't he deserve the chance to be aware of that? For his own sake as much as anything else?"
At that I had to concur. They promised to keep a close eye on him in dangerous situations. (A promise I know now haunts them and their fellow students, as indeed it does both Magneto and myself)
Of course subsequent events proved them right in their assessment of Douglas' attributes. To say nothing of his first encounter with the Danger Room, an incident which still brings a smile even now.
I have often wondered if any of my students would ever turn to me after graduation and say "Thank you for teaching me to use my power, now I want to go out into the real world to lead a normal life." A part of me would rejoice, as such mutants will be as important to the future in their way as the X-Men are in theirs, but so far none have done so, despite some valiant attempts.
I used to wonder whether Douglas would be the first but, from my own experiences as well as the reports Magneto left, I doubt that he would have. It wasn't just the prospect of adventure that appealed to him, though I can see how that would influence any adolescent. It was a deep-rooted need to see the right thing done, to protect the innocent. A fine cause, and despite everything he endured in his time at my School, an aim he believed in to his very last action.
He could have stayed in the background of the team, his computer skills would have made him an invaluable asset as support, communications, tactics and research - skills frequently lacking in my teams I admit. No-one would have thought any less of him for it, but he wanted to be out in the field, helping his friends and making a difference.
I know that he forged a particularly close friendship with Warlock, and for that I am glad, they made an ideal pairing; great power working in harmony with great responsibility, each complementing the other. An alien who knew no earth language in conjunction with a human mutant who knew them all, as fitting an example of harmony as my school has ever produced.
And to what long term use have I put his gifts? The security for the Xavier Protocols is based on a term paper I set him during his second semester. It's a foolproof genetically-based multiple decryption series, a most elegant program. It should be a fitting tribute to his gifts, and now I'm using it to store up data on how to kill every mutant I've ever met, including my own students. The irony of that situation isn't lost on me, I assure you.
There are things I should have said, things a teacher is supposed to say. I should have said how proud I was of him more often, I should have said how much I admired his courage.
However, I hope, no I _know_, that if anyone could hear the unspoken words it would be him.
And now the hardest part of this evening's task....
"My dear Philip and Sheila......"