A/N

This chapter is written as a parody of a tabloid article.  The views expressed are not my own and the spelling and grammatical mistakes are deliberate.

The chapter is written from the point of view of an embittered and jaded hack who has never had a 'scoop' in his life and whose wife… well, you'll find out in subsequent chapters.  The views expressed are indicative of said reporter's and are not my own.

That said, on with the fic!

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Lesbian Mutant = Mass Male Murder

By Saul Robertson

It was a devastating experiance last night to watch as Wollow Rosenburg giggled like a pig on helium as she brutally tortured one of many men before destroying them all.

This reporter could only watch in terrified horror as lesbian mutant Rosenburg went on a rampage of death, destruction and devestation.  Before an audiance of shoppers at the Mall's Food Court, she casually butchered more than twenty men.

An embittered Rosenburg turned to lesbianism after the break up of her relationship with 'Dingoes Ate My Baby's lead guitarist, Danial 'Oz' Osbourne.  Those close to her lesbian lover, Tata McClay, say that the couple recently split.  Perhaps the rumors that Rosenburg's one-time lesbian lover has gone back to men was the cause of her attack on Sunnydale's men yesterday.

Whatever the reason, nothing can disguis the fact that Willow, who currently lives with two other female, one of whom is still a minor, slaughterered over twently men in a chillingly callous attack in front of a captive audience.

Many question about last night's events and the attacker, Willow Rosenburg, 21, still reman.  What role do Rosenurg's housemates play in her mutant life?  With no actual remains left to examine, will Sunnydale's police be able to make a charges against Rosenburg stick?  And who knows what other abilities, Rosenburg, who is described as secretive, may be concealing?

One this is certain, the bloody stain of Rosenburg's attack will remain, etched forever into the history of this fair town.  This is inded, a sad day for all mankind.