Chapter 4
Spike
*Funny girl, that Jam Pony messenger, is. I bet she is one of those transgenic things.* I thought as I opened the doors to the office of Jam Pony. I wanted to know whom she was and I was going to find out. She knew who I was and it would only be right if the score was settled. Well, all right she didn't know who I am or what I am but she knows my name and that counts for something.
So breaking into Jam Pony's files on the employees was the only answer I could think of. Well, sure I could follow her around or even apply for a job here instead of stealing things from people I scare. But A) I didn't want to end up like one of those Nancy-boy man-messengers. 'Sides, could you picture me riding a peddle bike with my duster flappin' in the breeze? I didn't think so. And B) I may be all ensoulful but I didn't go total Peaches on the world. I still scare for money only...well...I still fight demons and all. Think what you like, call me a lazy bastard if you like but there are not a lot of people hiring a vampire for work anytime soon.
So where was I? Oh, right. Jam Pony. I went over to the file cabinet and pulled on it. But with all the lovely luck I've been running into it was locked. Well, the good part about being a vampire is that the coppers won't have fingerprints on me. Well unless there's a old record but I highly doubt that so I just grab a hold onto the silver handle and pull....
CLINK!
"Bloody hell!" The handle broke off. *Just the best of luck, Spike.* I thought looking for something like a crowbar or something but being a giant mail box and with the lack of need of a crowbar there was not bloody crowbar.
*Well, that's it.* I though and then I did something leaning on the crazy side.
"OPEN (BAM!) THE (BAM!) BLOODY (BAM!) HELL (BAM!) UP!"
CLICK.
Ah, success. The now dented cabinet slid open revealing all the profiles of the cyclists. I searched through each one of them and finally got a look of a picture of the mystery girl named...Max. Hmmmm. That's an interesting name.
Max's profile didn't have much in them. It just said that her name was Max, she had an attitude problem and never showed up on time. It also said that she lives with someone named Original Cindy.
I thumbed through the files and came out with Original Cindy's profile. HA, a lesbian...hopefully she isn't a witch. Bingo. Her address. I memorized it and put the files right back where they belonged, carefully shut the door gave the pile of metal one last look, snorted and left.
I headed back home for a packet of blood and went back out to get a general idea of where Max lived. It was an old apartment building that wasn't much for views. After a while of just leaning up against a brick wall from across the street and looking up at the building I finally headed home.
About half way home some bloody wanker snuck up behind me and pulled a gun out at me. "Give me your money." He snarled a snarl that, honestly wasn't that great.
I sighed. "You gonna shoot me, mate?"
"Not if you give me some cash. The coat's nice too."
"Sod off," I turned to the guy, "I killed the woman fare n' square! Go find your own coat." Hmmmm. Maybe this guy had some money on him...?
"Actually," I looked to the ground but when I looked up I had my game face on, "I think you should give me *your* money."
I could smell the fear radiating off him in waves, "I'll shoot!" he warned.
"It'll hurt like hell but it won't do much." I said before using that nice super strength and yanking the gun away from him. "Now, let me some of that cash you were going to give me so eagerly." I smirked.
"Here!" He threw forty bucks at me. "That's all I have, man." The guy said.
I gave him a true vampiric growl and I picked him up by the collar of his denim jacket. But then, an odd scent drifted up to meet my super nose. I looked down, "Bloody hell! You took a piss on my boots! You know, that's rather disgusting!" I dropped him to the ground and wiped my boot clean on his jacket.
He rolled up in a ball in fear. "Don't try to take people's money anymore. And stick with your mates at night." I picked him up off the ground and set him on his feet.
I shifted back into my human form to try and calm him some. "Now, what you're going to do is go home, take a wash change your clothes and have a little snog with your honey."
I opened the gun up and took out the bullets. "Also try playing opossum with not loading you gun. It gets people killed." Tara's face flashed through my mind. Out of all the lot she, Red, and the Bit were the only ones who could tolerate me.
Shaking them out of my mind, I handed the empty gun back to the stranger and walked away.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Well thank you guys for replying.and reading but there's good news and bad news. The good news is I kicked the writer's block long enough to kick some ass on this last chapter but the bad news is it's still there slightly. But I have some ideas and that's really what the doctor prescribed. Anyways the mugging wasn't really important but I write what little ideas pop up into my head.
I hope to hear more reply's about what you think and how good or bad the writing is. And normally I don't advertise for other fanfics but I just wrote it and it's my first short story. Anyways it's DA and comedy.if you feel like a laugh here's the link:
www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=889084 anyways I think it's funny but I have a weird mind when it comes to comedy.
Spike
*Funny girl, that Jam Pony messenger, is. I bet she is one of those transgenic things.* I thought as I opened the doors to the office of Jam Pony. I wanted to know whom she was and I was going to find out. She knew who I was and it would only be right if the score was settled. Well, all right she didn't know who I am or what I am but she knows my name and that counts for something.
So breaking into Jam Pony's files on the employees was the only answer I could think of. Well, sure I could follow her around or even apply for a job here instead of stealing things from people I scare. But A) I didn't want to end up like one of those Nancy-boy man-messengers. 'Sides, could you picture me riding a peddle bike with my duster flappin' in the breeze? I didn't think so. And B) I may be all ensoulful but I didn't go total Peaches on the world. I still scare for money only...well...I still fight demons and all. Think what you like, call me a lazy bastard if you like but there are not a lot of people hiring a vampire for work anytime soon.
So where was I? Oh, right. Jam Pony. I went over to the file cabinet and pulled on it. But with all the lovely luck I've been running into it was locked. Well, the good part about being a vampire is that the coppers won't have fingerprints on me. Well unless there's a old record but I highly doubt that so I just grab a hold onto the silver handle and pull....
CLINK!
"Bloody hell!" The handle broke off. *Just the best of luck, Spike.* I thought looking for something like a crowbar or something but being a giant mail box and with the lack of need of a crowbar there was not bloody crowbar.
*Well, that's it.* I though and then I did something leaning on the crazy side.
"OPEN (BAM!) THE (BAM!) BLOODY (BAM!) HELL (BAM!) UP!"
CLICK.
Ah, success. The now dented cabinet slid open revealing all the profiles of the cyclists. I searched through each one of them and finally got a look of a picture of the mystery girl named...Max. Hmmmm. That's an interesting name.
Max's profile didn't have much in them. It just said that her name was Max, she had an attitude problem and never showed up on time. It also said that she lives with someone named Original Cindy.
I thumbed through the files and came out with Original Cindy's profile. HA, a lesbian...hopefully she isn't a witch. Bingo. Her address. I memorized it and put the files right back where they belonged, carefully shut the door gave the pile of metal one last look, snorted and left.
I headed back home for a packet of blood and went back out to get a general idea of where Max lived. It was an old apartment building that wasn't much for views. After a while of just leaning up against a brick wall from across the street and looking up at the building I finally headed home.
About half way home some bloody wanker snuck up behind me and pulled a gun out at me. "Give me your money." He snarled a snarl that, honestly wasn't that great.
I sighed. "You gonna shoot me, mate?"
"Not if you give me some cash. The coat's nice too."
"Sod off," I turned to the guy, "I killed the woman fare n' square! Go find your own coat." Hmmmm. Maybe this guy had some money on him...?
"Actually," I looked to the ground but when I looked up I had my game face on, "I think you should give me *your* money."
I could smell the fear radiating off him in waves, "I'll shoot!" he warned.
"It'll hurt like hell but it won't do much." I said before using that nice super strength and yanking the gun away from him. "Now, let me some of that cash you were going to give me so eagerly." I smirked.
"Here!" He threw forty bucks at me. "That's all I have, man." The guy said.
I gave him a true vampiric growl and I picked him up by the collar of his denim jacket. But then, an odd scent drifted up to meet my super nose. I looked down, "Bloody hell! You took a piss on my boots! You know, that's rather disgusting!" I dropped him to the ground and wiped my boot clean on his jacket.
He rolled up in a ball in fear. "Don't try to take people's money anymore. And stick with your mates at night." I picked him up off the ground and set him on his feet.
I shifted back into my human form to try and calm him some. "Now, what you're going to do is go home, take a wash change your clothes and have a little snog with your honey."
I opened the gun up and took out the bullets. "Also try playing opossum with not loading you gun. It gets people killed." Tara's face flashed through my mind. Out of all the lot she, Red, and the Bit were the only ones who could tolerate me.
Shaking them out of my mind, I handed the empty gun back to the stranger and walked away.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Well thank you guys for replying.and reading but there's good news and bad news. The good news is I kicked the writer's block long enough to kick some ass on this last chapter but the bad news is it's still there slightly. But I have some ideas and that's really what the doctor prescribed. Anyways the mugging wasn't really important but I write what little ideas pop up into my head.
I hope to hear more reply's about what you think and how good or bad the writing is. And normally I don't advertise for other fanfics but I just wrote it and it's my first short story. Anyways it's DA and comedy.if you feel like a laugh here's the link:
www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=889084 anyways I think it's funny but I have a weird mind when it comes to comedy.