Purple
Who am I? Uncle Luke says I'm a Jedi, but wasn't that more Anakin's
department? To Wedge, I'm a pilot, but is that all? Can I be a Jedi too?
To Kyp, I'm a partner, and a superior officer, but what does partner mean?
To my mother, I'm a bother, and a reminder of Jacen and Anakin, but does
she still love me? To my father, I'm a helper, but can he accept that I'm
my own person? To Aunt Mara I'm an apprentice, but can I be a niece too?
To Jag, I don't know who I am, and for some reason that one bother me the
most. Does he respect me? Or does he think I'm just a commanding officer
who has no right to be commanding.
I would hope he at least respects my command and sees that my life is not
handed to me on a silver platter, and that I'm not just a spoiled Jedi-
brat. Sometimes it seems as if he hates me, but then why would he join my
squadron? I don't have the answers to these questions, but maybe in time I
will.
*2 yrs later* I have discovered partially who I am. My heart is purple, but my being is blue. In my heart I am and forever will be a Jedi. This is the purple. But my life is flying, and will always be. This is the blue in me, the sky. I can incorporate my Jedi skills more into flying, and can mold with my ship. I fly as a goddess would, in a skip. I can combine my Jedi skills and my pilot personality into one here. I can fly the skip better than even the Vong can, for my heart is purple. Kyp became my best friend. He took the place of Jacen in my heart. As a brother who would always be there for me. But then that relationship was cut short too, as another person I had held close to my heart was wrenched from my grasp by the Vong. Now that jagged edge of my heart is back, and I don't know if it can ever be mended. My mother and I have made up, and now we get along better. I will never know fully why she chose to raise us the way she did, but I am grateful to her for so many other things. My father now helps me, and I help him. When he comes to visit we'll work on the Falcon to "keep up my mechanic skills," but then I'll try and show him how my skip works. I've taken back up my apprenticeship with Mara, and we've grown a lot closer. She helps me fly the skip, and we've grown to love each other even more. She's helped me to bring the purple and the blue together. Together we work as a seamless team, and she can always say something funny or sarcastic at the right moment. Still, however, there is something missing from my life, and I think I have identified what it is. I'm missing the center of the purple, the red part.
*5 yrs later* I believe I found the part of me that makes my heart purple, because together, red and blue make purple. This red is Jagged Fel. Now the last answer to my questions I asked myself almost 7 yrs ago is answered. As I look into his eyes, I see love, admiration and respect. As I hear General Wedge Antilles say "you may kiss the bride" I am fully happy, and since Jacen, Anakin and Kyp died I am whole again. My heart is mended as Jag kisses me in the kiss in which we become husband and wife. My life became complete in the moment Jag's lips descended on mine in a searing kiss that marks a new beginning to my life.
*2 yrs later* I have discovered partially who I am. My heart is purple, but my being is blue. In my heart I am and forever will be a Jedi. This is the purple. But my life is flying, and will always be. This is the blue in me, the sky. I can incorporate my Jedi skills more into flying, and can mold with my ship. I fly as a goddess would, in a skip. I can combine my Jedi skills and my pilot personality into one here. I can fly the skip better than even the Vong can, for my heart is purple. Kyp became my best friend. He took the place of Jacen in my heart. As a brother who would always be there for me. But then that relationship was cut short too, as another person I had held close to my heart was wrenched from my grasp by the Vong. Now that jagged edge of my heart is back, and I don't know if it can ever be mended. My mother and I have made up, and now we get along better. I will never know fully why she chose to raise us the way she did, but I am grateful to her for so many other things. My father now helps me, and I help him. When he comes to visit we'll work on the Falcon to "keep up my mechanic skills," but then I'll try and show him how my skip works. I've taken back up my apprenticeship with Mara, and we've grown a lot closer. She helps me fly the skip, and we've grown to love each other even more. She's helped me to bring the purple and the blue together. Together we work as a seamless team, and she can always say something funny or sarcastic at the right moment. Still, however, there is something missing from my life, and I think I have identified what it is. I'm missing the center of the purple, the red part.
*5 yrs later* I believe I found the part of me that makes my heart purple, because together, red and blue make purple. This red is Jagged Fel. Now the last answer to my questions I asked myself almost 7 yrs ago is answered. As I look into his eyes, I see love, admiration and respect. As I hear General Wedge Antilles say "you may kiss the bride" I am fully happy, and since Jacen, Anakin and Kyp died I am whole again. My heart is mended as Jag kisses me in the kiss in which we become husband and wife. My life became complete in the moment Jag's lips descended on mine in a searing kiss that marks a new beginning to my life.