Attack of the Canpire
Chapter 4
Celas watched the flash of Alucard's red cloak as he jumped out of the window of Integra's office. The canpire that they were sent after supposedly did the same and was headed into the troops' dormitory area - well, according to Alucard he was. So all she needed to do was just jump out of the who-knows-how-high window just like her master did and get back to the chase. She grumbled as she grabbed her rifle she left leaning to the side of Integra's desk while she and Alucard smoked one of Integra's cigars.
"Just jump out of the window," Celas said to herself as she pulled the strap of the large firearm over her arm, "and then go splat on the ground!" She frowned as she looked out of the open window and looked down to see the small red figure of her master below.
~Hurry! Jump police girl! I'll catch you.~
The young vampire swallowed after hearing Alucard's voice in her head urge her on. It was now or never to do this stunt. Celas only hoped that Alucard was good at catching. She did not wish find out how it felt to kiss the ground after trying to fly without wings.
~HURRY!~
Celas drew in a deep breath and started to climb out of the open window. A chilled night wind was nothing compared to the cold fright that ran through her once she looked down at the ground where Alucard stood.
"Oh God, please don't miss, bloody God, don't miss!"
With a small kick off the building, the ex-policewoman felt the rush of air push her from bellow. She opened her mouth in a scream as she fell faster and faster to the ground below. Celas' eyes were squeezed shut not wanting to see the ground speeding towards her.
"Celas! You can stop screaming in my ear now!" a familiar hardened voice was heard.
"AHH - huh? Am I dead yet?" Celas cracked open a crimson eye seeing only blackness. She opened another eye and tilted her head upwards. The mildly grinning face of Alucard darkened under the wide red brim of his hat looked down at her.
"Why, you've already been dead for who knows how long now, police girl." He started to chuckle to himself, "I never knew you cared so much about me too."
The young vampire blinked while she felt a soft pressure against her small body. She finally noticed that she was clinging to Alucard's chest as if it was the only thing keeping her 'alive'. Celas quickly let go of her embrace of her master and ducked her head in embarrassment. Alucard grinned with amusement and put her feet back on the ground.
"You know, I don't usually get many hugs with Integra being her commanderly self. But a nice hug from a young woman from so long was very enjoyable." He smirked towards the dormitories, "Now, let's hurry and dispose of our canpire. I'm getting thirsty."
**********
Integra and Walter sat quietly at one of the tables of Bonne Nourriture looking through the menus. The butler flipped through the pages and looked through all the tasty sounding courses. So much to choose, he wished that he had a bigger stomach for it all.
"Sir Integra, what are you going to eat tonight?"
The leader of Hellsing lowered her menu and looked at Walter, "I think I will try their new special, Pâtes Heureuses, Walter. What about you?"
"The four cheese and chicken lasagna sounds up my alley."
"Ah yes, that was a nice meal. Too but cheese for my tastes though."
"But I love cheese and chicken!" Walter smiles.
"Yes, I know that, you talk about it each time we have cheese biscuits for afternoon tea, Walter." Integra's tone started to flatten warning the butler that she didn't wish to listen to his love of cheese one more time.
"Ah... yes, Sir Integra." Walter nodded taking his boss's warning sign. He then folded up his menu and took a long drink from a glass of water.
Integra followed suit but exchanged the drink with a puff on her cigar. She always loved having a cigar in her mouth, like how a raver loves his pacifier after getting high. Where was that damned waiter? thought Integra. He was taking a long time now to at least come to their table with the salads they ordered.
"Oh? Just the chicken alfredo, Anderson?" a familiar accented voice came from the table behind Integra and Walter.
"Yes Father Maxwell, I'm not that much of a fan of just plain pasta covered with cheese and other stuff. Something simple with some cheese is enough for me." a husky voice answered to the other.
"I see.... Oh? Anderson, could you please move your head a bit to the right for a minute?"
"Huh? Umm, sure."
"... Ohhh, so it's none other than Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing and her butler eating in the same restaurant as us, Anderson." the higher pitched voice grinned in the air making a chill run down Integra's spine.
The leader of Hellsing slowly turned around to see the long and pale grinning face of the person who called out her full name. Her ice blue eye twitched recognizing the young man, "Enrico Maxwell." Integra bit off the end of each syllable of his name threatening to chomp off the end of her cigar.
"Still the same Ms. Hellsing as ever." Maxwell smirked, "Imagine the odds of us two sitting next to each other in the same restaurant."
"Yes, I can just imagine." Integra drew on her cigar trying to keep her temper under control. Oh how she wanted to just rip that hideous smirk off his face.
"I see your Protestant dog isn't with you tonight, human food must upset his poor little undead stomach I guess." the high priest chuckled to himself.
Integra glared at Maxwell with her ice blue eyes, "I'm surprised that you take your Catholic mongrel to public restaurants after the lack of control you have on him when he hears the words 'undead' or 'vampire.'"
Anderson growled from his place at the table. If it was not bad enough for that filthy vampire to call him a dog, now the so-called master of the vampire called him a mongrel.
"At least mine doesn't run around like some sort of freak show in red leather." Maxwell sneered at Integra.
The blond leader bit at the end of her cigar. Maxwell was right for once about Alucard's dress preference. A bright red suit with a large brim hat, which was also red, could catch the attention of a blind mole rat on a cloudy day. She had asked him to dress in something less eye-catching and more up to modern times but Alucard's excuse was the same and he had a fetish with the color red.
"Sooo, does the great Ms. Hellsing have no comeback for her pet's clothes?" the Catholic priest started to laugh at his victory over the steel woman.
"He can dress in whatever he wishes to dress in, he can come one night wearing nothing but a loincloth as long as he does his job." Integra blew out a trail of smoke from her mouth.
Maxwell's brow raised at the loincloth comment, "So, you're saying even if he dresses up in a pretty pink tutu and tights you wouldn't care if he still killed the other vampires?"
"Yes."
"What about a bear costume?"
"Yes."
"Godzilla?"
"Yes."
"Frankenstein?"
"Yes."
"Me?"
"Ye- NO!! I would KILL him if I saw him dressed up as a male swine as yourself!" Integra gave Maxwell a glare that would cause the average human to cower before her in a pleading ball of shame. But Maxwell was not the average human. Far from it.
"Just because your damned pet dresses like me doen't deserve death! I'd say it would be an improvement to that walking corpse's outfit, you female swine! ANYTHING would look better on him than that eye sore of red, red, RED!" Maxwell got up in Integra's face not noticing the lit cigar she had in her mouth.
"Personally, I don't mind the color red, unlike swine such as yourself." the blond Hellsing leader said calmly while she picked the cigar from her mouth and pushed the lit end onto the tip of Maxwell's pointed nose.
"AGGHH!! YOU BI-!!" Enrico Maxwell held his burnt nose in his hands and fell back into his chair glaring at the smug Integra. Anderson quickly raised from his seat and reached a hand into his black coat that concealed numerous blessed blades. "No, not now Anderson. It's just a small burn to my nose. I'll live. Sit down."
"... Yes, Father Maxwell."
**********
Pip, a lanky looking, one eyed cowboy out of the neater cut troops of Hellsing, grinned at his fellow Hellsing troops at their current state of 'crises'. They were nearly on the verge on turning on each other just because of a few cans of soda. The mercenary leader couldn't help but laugh at their problem that caused his long braid of dark blond hair to uncurl and slip from his chuckling shoulders.
"What's so funny, Pip?"
"Heheh, it's just all you guys think so much about a little can of soda when there are 'alternatives', y'know. Alternatives such as the giant case of ice cold beer that I hide in the storage room of this here dorm!" he grinned widely at the shocked faces of the thirsty troops.
"How'd you get it in there?"
"How much beer is in it?"
"Take us there!! Take us there!!"
The new leader of the weary soldiers held up a hand to silence the many questions that were being asked, "Hey, HEY! It's not like I can answer all of you at once! I've only got two ears and one mouth! I'll just show you all the giant cooler I've got hidden away and that should answer everything. C'mon, follow me!" Pip shouted out to the curious group of soldiers before him and led them out of the sleeping quarters of the dormitory.
They followed him down the hall and into the dark but extremely large storage room. Pip flicked on a light and walked in deeper into the room. He walked past the spare uniforms, old unused firearms, dried rations and canned beans, hard pillows piled on top of over starched blankets, and the not so secret stash of porn magazines collected by all of the rookies and veterans alike.
The mercenary shined the light on the large towers of magazines and whistled, "Been keepin' the faith guys! You know that our boss would kill us ten-fold if she found out just how many magazines we have in here!" he laughed to himself and walked to what seemed to be a dead end that had nothing but a flat board of wood leaning against the wall. Pip slid the board to the side to reveal a large hole carved into the wall. "Alright boys, the cooler might be a bit dusty, but I guarantee that the beer inside is at 110% quality!" he shouted back at the waiting troops before disappearing into the hole inside the wall. After a minute of silence that was cut by the sounds of someone tripping and cursing colorfully, Pip emerged out of the hole dragging out a huge blue ice cooler.
"BEER!" all of the soldiers shouted in unison dropping the porn magazines from their hands.
"Come and get it!!" Pip cried as he pushed the treasure chest in the middle of the storage room to the thirsty troops, "There's plenty for all!" The leader started to toss out cold cans and bottles of beer to reaching hands. This was going great! Pip always wished for a night like this to sit around with all his buds and drink beer and read porn magazines. But somehow, he felt like he was being watched from a dark corner of the storage room.
"Who's there?" Pip shone his flashlights into a corner of the room while drinking down a bottle of cold vodka. There was nothing but an old sack that had useless junk stuffed into it. Bah, maybe the vampire hunting here at Hellsing is getting to him. Pip took another swig of his vodka and walked back towards the chest where an unfamiliar person leaned over digging for some beer.
"Can... cans." the person hissed and pulled out a tall can of Coors Lite. He looked at it curiously with crimson eyes as if he never saw a can of beer.
"Hey bub, are you just going to look at it all night or are you going to drink it?" Pip leaned against the nearby wall, which was not too far from his beer cooler.
The other person lifted his head slightly to look at the person who just talked to him. He was not any reason to waste his time on. The odd male who did not wear the usual Hellsing set of clothes raised the cold can close to his face and slowly licked the side of the metal surface.
"What the bloody...?" Pip lowered his bottle of alcohol and rubbed his eyes. Was the person before just licking a can of beer? And what the hell is he doing now? Going to bite it or something?
With a small pair of twin popping sounds the red eyed person drew his mouth away from the can in a grin that exposed a set of fangs. He then tilted the can to the side and slurped at the openings he just made with his teeth.
The now drunken Pip started to laugh at this odd sight, "Gwahaha!! If I didn't know any bettah, I woulda said that you wur sum kinda beer vampuar...." he grinned and chuckled to himself watching the so-called 'beer vampuar' bite into another can of beer and another.
**********
~He's close. Can you feel it, police girl?~ Alucard's voice echoed in Celas' head as she walked down the dark halls with her semi-automatic rifle ready to fire at the slightest shadow of inhuman movement.
"Yes, but it's mixed in with nearly all the troops here in a huge group nearby. Do they not know that a vampire is with them?" she replied to her mater out loud unable to just communicate with him mentally.
~Canpire. It's a CANpire. And they're just humans. They wouldn't be able to tell a vampire if one walked up to them and kicked them in the balls.~
"Errm, yes, canpire. Sorry, Master." Celas' brow furrowed at being corrected. Alucard probably gets a pretty nice kick out of correcting everyone just because he's a few centuries old. Sometimes she wondered if that smile was plastered to his pale face. But now wasn't the time to think about how annoying Alucard could be. She had a canpire to kill who might just be in the next room. The young vampire dimmed the light on her firearm and slid with her back against to the wall towards the storage room.
The sounds of people talking and laughing could be heard coming from the room. Two questions buzzed around Celas' mind as she inched more towards the unlocked door; did they really know that the canpire was not in there and what the hell are they all doing in the storage room? It IS a storage room to just put extra weapons and mattresses and other boring items in. What were they doing in there? Having a party?
Celas licked her lips and closed her eyes. If they were having a party or not, she was going to crash into it anyway. She opened her crimson eyes and quickly kicked the heavy door off its hinges making a huge metal clang forgetting her inhuman strength.
The beer chugging troops all froze like deer caught in headlights at the female intruder carrying a large gun pointed at them. Was this a person sent by Sir Integra to kill them all?
"THERE'S A VA-dammit... A CANPIRE AMONG YOU ALL!! GET DOWN IF YOU STILL VALUE YOUR LIFE!!" Celas shouted as her eyes darted around the mass of confused and shocked faces looking for the undead one within the group.
~I think you just broke into their beer and porn magazine party, police girl.~
Celas' eye twitched as she spotted the pile of adult magazines and mess of cans and bottles of beer on the floor. She cursed under her breath and tightened her grip on her rifle, "Just my bloody luck.... A canpire hiding in a mess of drunken retards reading Play Boy. The target better be here before I break some drooling heads."
A drunken solider blinked at Celas and waved his bottle of beer over his head, "WHOOO!! A stripper!!"
The ex-policewoman groaned as the other drunken pigs joined in a chant for the incoming 'stripper'. That canpire needed to be found and killed. Now. Before she shoots off the head of the bugger who started this chant.
~Have fun, stripper!~ Alucard's voice chuckled as it retreated from Celas' mind.
********
Alright, I know it's been too long since I've written chapter 3 but, man, school really does get in the way of writing for me. X.x Well, I hope I make it up by making this my longest chapter yet, and added in Anderson and Pip and even Maxwell for you other people! =D And no, I won't change the name of the canpire to be budpire! *dodges cans of soda thrown at her* I bet a few of you are wondering where Buffonard (or whatever his name is spelled) went. Well, it all started in the orphange when he was watching the children for Anderson. Then a kid riding a bike ran over him in a "hit-and-run" accident! So now the priest that Maxwell hides behind is back in Rome in bed watching saturday morning cartoon shows while he recovers from his accident.
Now that I've told you why Maxwell it in London with Anderson... I've got nothing else to say but I hope you all are enjoying this fanfic so far n_n;; Even if they do happen to be a little bit OOC (but how else am I going to make a silly fanfic without making them OOC?) and act a wee bit weird.
If Pip is way out of character, I'm sorry about that. =P Not everyone can just go up to the local comicbook store buy an imported Hellsing manga in the US. ... And I also can't read japanese ~.~ All I know about him is that he hits on Celas and drinks beer!
Okay, I'll stop typing now n_n;
Chapter 5 coming... someday before Mozilla takes over the internet! Or at least after I get my school reports finished! Whatever comes first!
Chapter 4
Celas watched the flash of Alucard's red cloak as he jumped out of the window of Integra's office. The canpire that they were sent after supposedly did the same and was headed into the troops' dormitory area - well, according to Alucard he was. So all she needed to do was just jump out of the who-knows-how-high window just like her master did and get back to the chase. She grumbled as she grabbed her rifle she left leaning to the side of Integra's desk while she and Alucard smoked one of Integra's cigars.
"Just jump out of the window," Celas said to herself as she pulled the strap of the large firearm over her arm, "and then go splat on the ground!" She frowned as she looked out of the open window and looked down to see the small red figure of her master below.
~Hurry! Jump police girl! I'll catch you.~
The young vampire swallowed after hearing Alucard's voice in her head urge her on. It was now or never to do this stunt. Celas only hoped that Alucard was good at catching. She did not wish find out how it felt to kiss the ground after trying to fly without wings.
~HURRY!~
Celas drew in a deep breath and started to climb out of the open window. A chilled night wind was nothing compared to the cold fright that ran through her once she looked down at the ground where Alucard stood.
"Oh God, please don't miss, bloody God, don't miss!"
With a small kick off the building, the ex-policewoman felt the rush of air push her from bellow. She opened her mouth in a scream as she fell faster and faster to the ground below. Celas' eyes were squeezed shut not wanting to see the ground speeding towards her.
"Celas! You can stop screaming in my ear now!" a familiar hardened voice was heard.
"AHH - huh? Am I dead yet?" Celas cracked open a crimson eye seeing only blackness. She opened another eye and tilted her head upwards. The mildly grinning face of Alucard darkened under the wide red brim of his hat looked down at her.
"Why, you've already been dead for who knows how long now, police girl." He started to chuckle to himself, "I never knew you cared so much about me too."
The young vampire blinked while she felt a soft pressure against her small body. She finally noticed that she was clinging to Alucard's chest as if it was the only thing keeping her 'alive'. Celas quickly let go of her embrace of her master and ducked her head in embarrassment. Alucard grinned with amusement and put her feet back on the ground.
"You know, I don't usually get many hugs with Integra being her commanderly self. But a nice hug from a young woman from so long was very enjoyable." He smirked towards the dormitories, "Now, let's hurry and dispose of our canpire. I'm getting thirsty."
**********
Integra and Walter sat quietly at one of the tables of Bonne Nourriture looking through the menus. The butler flipped through the pages and looked through all the tasty sounding courses. So much to choose, he wished that he had a bigger stomach for it all.
"Sir Integra, what are you going to eat tonight?"
The leader of Hellsing lowered her menu and looked at Walter, "I think I will try their new special, Pâtes Heureuses, Walter. What about you?"
"The four cheese and chicken lasagna sounds up my alley."
"Ah yes, that was a nice meal. Too but cheese for my tastes though."
"But I love cheese and chicken!" Walter smiles.
"Yes, I know that, you talk about it each time we have cheese biscuits for afternoon tea, Walter." Integra's tone started to flatten warning the butler that she didn't wish to listen to his love of cheese one more time.
"Ah... yes, Sir Integra." Walter nodded taking his boss's warning sign. He then folded up his menu and took a long drink from a glass of water.
Integra followed suit but exchanged the drink with a puff on her cigar. She always loved having a cigar in her mouth, like how a raver loves his pacifier after getting high. Where was that damned waiter? thought Integra. He was taking a long time now to at least come to their table with the salads they ordered.
"Oh? Just the chicken alfredo, Anderson?" a familiar accented voice came from the table behind Integra and Walter.
"Yes Father Maxwell, I'm not that much of a fan of just plain pasta covered with cheese and other stuff. Something simple with some cheese is enough for me." a husky voice answered to the other.
"I see.... Oh? Anderson, could you please move your head a bit to the right for a minute?"
"Huh? Umm, sure."
"... Ohhh, so it's none other than Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing and her butler eating in the same restaurant as us, Anderson." the higher pitched voice grinned in the air making a chill run down Integra's spine.
The leader of Hellsing slowly turned around to see the long and pale grinning face of the person who called out her full name. Her ice blue eye twitched recognizing the young man, "Enrico Maxwell." Integra bit off the end of each syllable of his name threatening to chomp off the end of her cigar.
"Still the same Ms. Hellsing as ever." Maxwell smirked, "Imagine the odds of us two sitting next to each other in the same restaurant."
"Yes, I can just imagine." Integra drew on her cigar trying to keep her temper under control. Oh how she wanted to just rip that hideous smirk off his face.
"I see your Protestant dog isn't with you tonight, human food must upset his poor little undead stomach I guess." the high priest chuckled to himself.
Integra glared at Maxwell with her ice blue eyes, "I'm surprised that you take your Catholic mongrel to public restaurants after the lack of control you have on him when he hears the words 'undead' or 'vampire.'"
Anderson growled from his place at the table. If it was not bad enough for that filthy vampire to call him a dog, now the so-called master of the vampire called him a mongrel.
"At least mine doesn't run around like some sort of freak show in red leather." Maxwell sneered at Integra.
The blond leader bit at the end of her cigar. Maxwell was right for once about Alucard's dress preference. A bright red suit with a large brim hat, which was also red, could catch the attention of a blind mole rat on a cloudy day. She had asked him to dress in something less eye-catching and more up to modern times but Alucard's excuse was the same and he had a fetish with the color red.
"Sooo, does the great Ms. Hellsing have no comeback for her pet's clothes?" the Catholic priest started to laugh at his victory over the steel woman.
"He can dress in whatever he wishes to dress in, he can come one night wearing nothing but a loincloth as long as he does his job." Integra blew out a trail of smoke from her mouth.
Maxwell's brow raised at the loincloth comment, "So, you're saying even if he dresses up in a pretty pink tutu and tights you wouldn't care if he still killed the other vampires?"
"Yes."
"What about a bear costume?"
"Yes."
"Godzilla?"
"Yes."
"Frankenstein?"
"Yes."
"Me?"
"Ye- NO!! I would KILL him if I saw him dressed up as a male swine as yourself!" Integra gave Maxwell a glare that would cause the average human to cower before her in a pleading ball of shame. But Maxwell was not the average human. Far from it.
"Just because your damned pet dresses like me doen't deserve death! I'd say it would be an improvement to that walking corpse's outfit, you female swine! ANYTHING would look better on him than that eye sore of red, red, RED!" Maxwell got up in Integra's face not noticing the lit cigar she had in her mouth.
"Personally, I don't mind the color red, unlike swine such as yourself." the blond Hellsing leader said calmly while she picked the cigar from her mouth and pushed the lit end onto the tip of Maxwell's pointed nose.
"AGGHH!! YOU BI-!!" Enrico Maxwell held his burnt nose in his hands and fell back into his chair glaring at the smug Integra. Anderson quickly raised from his seat and reached a hand into his black coat that concealed numerous blessed blades. "No, not now Anderson. It's just a small burn to my nose. I'll live. Sit down."
"... Yes, Father Maxwell."
**********
Pip, a lanky looking, one eyed cowboy out of the neater cut troops of Hellsing, grinned at his fellow Hellsing troops at their current state of 'crises'. They were nearly on the verge on turning on each other just because of a few cans of soda. The mercenary leader couldn't help but laugh at their problem that caused his long braid of dark blond hair to uncurl and slip from his chuckling shoulders.
"What's so funny, Pip?"
"Heheh, it's just all you guys think so much about a little can of soda when there are 'alternatives', y'know. Alternatives such as the giant case of ice cold beer that I hide in the storage room of this here dorm!" he grinned widely at the shocked faces of the thirsty troops.
"How'd you get it in there?"
"How much beer is in it?"
"Take us there!! Take us there!!"
The new leader of the weary soldiers held up a hand to silence the many questions that were being asked, "Hey, HEY! It's not like I can answer all of you at once! I've only got two ears and one mouth! I'll just show you all the giant cooler I've got hidden away and that should answer everything. C'mon, follow me!" Pip shouted out to the curious group of soldiers before him and led them out of the sleeping quarters of the dormitory.
They followed him down the hall and into the dark but extremely large storage room. Pip flicked on a light and walked in deeper into the room. He walked past the spare uniforms, old unused firearms, dried rations and canned beans, hard pillows piled on top of over starched blankets, and the not so secret stash of porn magazines collected by all of the rookies and veterans alike.
The mercenary shined the light on the large towers of magazines and whistled, "Been keepin' the faith guys! You know that our boss would kill us ten-fold if she found out just how many magazines we have in here!" he laughed to himself and walked to what seemed to be a dead end that had nothing but a flat board of wood leaning against the wall. Pip slid the board to the side to reveal a large hole carved into the wall. "Alright boys, the cooler might be a bit dusty, but I guarantee that the beer inside is at 110% quality!" he shouted back at the waiting troops before disappearing into the hole inside the wall. After a minute of silence that was cut by the sounds of someone tripping and cursing colorfully, Pip emerged out of the hole dragging out a huge blue ice cooler.
"BEER!" all of the soldiers shouted in unison dropping the porn magazines from their hands.
"Come and get it!!" Pip cried as he pushed the treasure chest in the middle of the storage room to the thirsty troops, "There's plenty for all!" The leader started to toss out cold cans and bottles of beer to reaching hands. This was going great! Pip always wished for a night like this to sit around with all his buds and drink beer and read porn magazines. But somehow, he felt like he was being watched from a dark corner of the storage room.
"Who's there?" Pip shone his flashlights into a corner of the room while drinking down a bottle of cold vodka. There was nothing but an old sack that had useless junk stuffed into it. Bah, maybe the vampire hunting here at Hellsing is getting to him. Pip took another swig of his vodka and walked back towards the chest where an unfamiliar person leaned over digging for some beer.
"Can... cans." the person hissed and pulled out a tall can of Coors Lite. He looked at it curiously with crimson eyes as if he never saw a can of beer.
"Hey bub, are you just going to look at it all night or are you going to drink it?" Pip leaned against the nearby wall, which was not too far from his beer cooler.
The other person lifted his head slightly to look at the person who just talked to him. He was not any reason to waste his time on. The odd male who did not wear the usual Hellsing set of clothes raised the cold can close to his face and slowly licked the side of the metal surface.
"What the bloody...?" Pip lowered his bottle of alcohol and rubbed his eyes. Was the person before just licking a can of beer? And what the hell is he doing now? Going to bite it or something?
With a small pair of twin popping sounds the red eyed person drew his mouth away from the can in a grin that exposed a set of fangs. He then tilted the can to the side and slurped at the openings he just made with his teeth.
The now drunken Pip started to laugh at this odd sight, "Gwahaha!! If I didn't know any bettah, I woulda said that you wur sum kinda beer vampuar...." he grinned and chuckled to himself watching the so-called 'beer vampuar' bite into another can of beer and another.
**********
~He's close. Can you feel it, police girl?~ Alucard's voice echoed in Celas' head as she walked down the dark halls with her semi-automatic rifle ready to fire at the slightest shadow of inhuman movement.
"Yes, but it's mixed in with nearly all the troops here in a huge group nearby. Do they not know that a vampire is with them?" she replied to her mater out loud unable to just communicate with him mentally.
~Canpire. It's a CANpire. And they're just humans. They wouldn't be able to tell a vampire if one walked up to them and kicked them in the balls.~
"Errm, yes, canpire. Sorry, Master." Celas' brow furrowed at being corrected. Alucard probably gets a pretty nice kick out of correcting everyone just because he's a few centuries old. Sometimes she wondered if that smile was plastered to his pale face. But now wasn't the time to think about how annoying Alucard could be. She had a canpire to kill who might just be in the next room. The young vampire dimmed the light on her firearm and slid with her back against to the wall towards the storage room.
The sounds of people talking and laughing could be heard coming from the room. Two questions buzzed around Celas' mind as she inched more towards the unlocked door; did they really know that the canpire was not in there and what the hell are they all doing in the storage room? It IS a storage room to just put extra weapons and mattresses and other boring items in. What were they doing in there? Having a party?
Celas licked her lips and closed her eyes. If they were having a party or not, she was going to crash into it anyway. She opened her crimson eyes and quickly kicked the heavy door off its hinges making a huge metal clang forgetting her inhuman strength.
The beer chugging troops all froze like deer caught in headlights at the female intruder carrying a large gun pointed at them. Was this a person sent by Sir Integra to kill them all?
"THERE'S A VA-dammit... A CANPIRE AMONG YOU ALL!! GET DOWN IF YOU STILL VALUE YOUR LIFE!!" Celas shouted as her eyes darted around the mass of confused and shocked faces looking for the undead one within the group.
~I think you just broke into their beer and porn magazine party, police girl.~
Celas' eye twitched as she spotted the pile of adult magazines and mess of cans and bottles of beer on the floor. She cursed under her breath and tightened her grip on her rifle, "Just my bloody luck.... A canpire hiding in a mess of drunken retards reading Play Boy. The target better be here before I break some drooling heads."
A drunken solider blinked at Celas and waved his bottle of beer over his head, "WHOOO!! A stripper!!"
The ex-policewoman groaned as the other drunken pigs joined in a chant for the incoming 'stripper'. That canpire needed to be found and killed. Now. Before she shoots off the head of the bugger who started this chant.
~Have fun, stripper!~ Alucard's voice chuckled as it retreated from Celas' mind.
********
Alright, I know it's been too long since I've written chapter 3 but, man, school really does get in the way of writing for me. X.x Well, I hope I make it up by making this my longest chapter yet, and added in Anderson and Pip and even Maxwell for you other people! =D And no, I won't change the name of the canpire to be budpire! *dodges cans of soda thrown at her* I bet a few of you are wondering where Buffonard (or whatever his name is spelled) went. Well, it all started in the orphange when he was watching the children for Anderson. Then a kid riding a bike ran over him in a "hit-and-run" accident! So now the priest that Maxwell hides behind is back in Rome in bed watching saturday morning cartoon shows while he recovers from his accident.
Now that I've told you why Maxwell it in London with Anderson... I've got nothing else to say but I hope you all are enjoying this fanfic so far n_n;; Even if they do happen to be a little bit OOC (but how else am I going to make a silly fanfic without making them OOC?) and act a wee bit weird.
If Pip is way out of character, I'm sorry about that. =P Not everyone can just go up to the local comicbook store buy an imported Hellsing manga in the US. ... And I also can't read japanese ~.~ All I know about him is that he hits on Celas and drinks beer!
Okay, I'll stop typing now n_n;
Chapter 5 coming... someday before Mozilla takes over the internet! Or at least after I get my school reports finished! Whatever comes first!