This is chapter one. THERE WILL BE MORE!!!! (be afraid.. be very, very
afraid!!) hehehehe have fun!!
Chapter 1
This story starts out in the shire at Bag End, the home of Bilbo Baggins. Today is Bilbo's Elevendy-first, 111, birthday. His relatives, the Sackville-Bagginses are after his estate more so today because, they had not thought he would last this long.
Living with Bilbo is a young hobbit of thirty-three, 33, today is his birthday also. He is at 'The Coming of Age', in a hobbits life. Bilbo had adopted Frodo a few years back, when his parents died. Frodo is Bilbo's cousin.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile under a tree, Frodo sat reading one of his favorite books. Frodo loved reading. It was one of his favorite things.
Frodo's reading was interrupted by a loud clanging noise coming from the west, down the road. It was Gandalf in his 1987, rusted out Cadillac. You would think a wizard would have enough decency to buy a quality car. Frodo heard a loud 'bang!', as the car yielded to a stop. 'Your late!', said Frodo.
'A wizard is always late in this piece of junk car!', answered Gandalf.
'You know, you could get a new car.'
'A wizard does NOT get a new car! .eh who am I kidding? I cant fix things like I used too I'm getting old Frodo.'
'I know Gandalf, just look in the mirror its plain to see'
Frodo jumped in the car and got out the jumper cables. He popped the hood and hooked one cable to the motor and one to the battery.
'Are you sure that's where you put those?', asked Gandalf.
'please Gandalf, I'm trying to work here', said Frodo.
Frodo turned on the charger. Gandalf watched as frodo shocked himself and laughed slightly. Suddenly the car started and Frodo stopped getting shocked.
'I told you that's not where you put those but does anyone listen to the wizard?. noooo', said Gandalf.
'Lets just go see Bilbo', said Frodo, changing the subject. They got in the car and drove down the road.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile back at Bag End, Bilbo was getting ready for his birthday.
'I'm too sexy for my shirt. to sexy for my shirt.' Bilbo sang.
Just as he was singing Frodo and Gandalf entered the hobbit hole.
'So sexy it hurrrrtttsss.' Bilbo finished as Frodo and Gandalf stood dumb-founded staring at Bilbo. Bilbo's face turned bright red.
'You got it goin' on Bilbo', Gandalf said and winked.
'Same goes for you Gandalf, you sexy, sexy chicken you!', Bilbo replied and winked back.
Frodo stood there beating his head with a wooden spoon he found on the table.
'Will you guys please, PLEASE, save it for later?', he said.
'Very well', said Gandalf.
Bilbo clothed himself and they sat down and ate cheese and drank ale. They smoked pipes and chatted for most of the day.
'Piiipppeee weeeeed!', said Frodo in a stoned voice.
~*~*~*~*~
Later on at Bilbo's party, Bilbo and Frodo were having a wonderful time. There were fireworks, story tellers, enough food to feed the entire Shire three times, and much, much more. Everyone was having a good time.
Samwise Gamgee, Bilbo's gardener, was also at the party. Sam had a thing for a hobbit named Rose, but she had no idea he liked her. Frodo saw Sam gaping at Rose again, like he always did.
'Sam, why don't you just ask her to dance?', asked Frodo.
'I don't know Frodo, she doesn't seem like she likes me', Sam replied.
'Oh, come on Sam, just ask her!'
'No, what if she says no?'
'She won't Sam, believe me.'
'But-'
Sam's statement was interrupted by Frodo pushing him into Rose. He took her in his arms and started dancing with her. Frodo winked at Sam and Sam's face turned red as he smiled and danced with Rose.
A few minutes later Frodo met up with Bilbo. Just then a great 'Boom!' was heard and the crowd went silent and then all of a sudden a firework display of a life-size dragon swooped over their heads. The crowd screamed in fear and ducked to dodge it.
'Bilbo watch out for the dragon!', shouted Frodo. 'What dragon? Have you been smoking pipe weed again?', he said just as Frodo pushed him to the ground.
The dragon disappeared and half a second later a wonderful display of colorful fireworks filled the sky.
'Must have been Merry and Pippin again, those boys are always getting into trouble', said Gandalf.
Gandalf found Merry and Pippin sitting on the ground, covered with soot.
'Duuuddee!. did you see that?!', said Pippin.
'Yeah man, that was grreeaatt let's get another one!', replied Merry.
As Merry finished his statement, Gandalf picked them up by their underwear. Both boys screamed in pain.
'You two getting into mayhem again?', he said. Both the boys looked at each other and laughed.
Gandalf set them down and grabbed both their arms and led them to a pile of dirty dishes. There was millions of plates, bowls, cups, spoons, forks, and knives.
'Oh man, I hate dishes', said Merry.
'Thanks a lot Pippin!', he added.
'Me? It was YOUR idea!', replied Pippin.
'Get washin' Boys!', Said Gandalf.
Gandalf left the two boys to do their work. The boys continued to converse while scrubbing away at the millions of dishes.
'Do you think he's over reacting?', asked Pippin.
'Just keep washin' Pip', said Merry.
Meanwhile Gandalf met up with Frodo and Bilbo.
'Hey ch-ch-chicckkeenn!', said Bilbo.
'Bilbo, have you been drinking again?', asked Frodo.
'Mayybbeee', he said.
Gandalf just stood there smiling and smoking his pipe weed. Bilbo laughed to himself and started to walk up to a chair as everyone started to chant 'Speech! Speech!'.
'O.K., O.K., chill out! I'll speak!', he said.
Bilbo stepped up on the chair to see over the crowd. As he spoke there was a cake in the background burning one-hundred and eleven candles at once. 'My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and tooks and Brandybucks, Grubs, Chubs, Burrowses, and Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses, and Proudfoots!', he said.
'ProudFEET', said an elderly man in the crowd with his feet propped up on the table in front of him.
'Today is my one-hundred and eleventh birthday!', Bilbo said, with a slight slur.
'I hope all of you are having a good time at my party!'. The crowd mumbled 'yes' and some said 'no'. He continued: 'I would like to announce that this is my dearest cousin, Frodo's birthday too, as you all know! I would also like to announce that this is the end.' Bilbo fiddled with something in his vest pocket.
'I'm going now, good-bye!', he added. 'WOAH! I'm invisible!', he shouted.
'Um. Bilbo. I can still see you', said a man in the crowd.
Just then the crowd went silent, they had not expected this. Then Bilbo's cheeks turned red and he jumped of the chair and ran home as fast as he could. The crowd started talking and Frodo and Gandalf met up with each other in the middle somewhere.
'Oh my god! Did you see that?!', said Frodo.
'Like, ya', I may be old, but I'm not blind. yet.' replied Gandalf.
Frodo looked at the chair Bilbo was standing on. He walked over to it. He saw a ring sitting on the seat of it. He picked it up and held it in his hand while inspecting it. Bilbo had a little explaining to do now.
Chapter 1
This story starts out in the shire at Bag End, the home of Bilbo Baggins. Today is Bilbo's Elevendy-first, 111, birthday. His relatives, the Sackville-Bagginses are after his estate more so today because, they had not thought he would last this long.
Living with Bilbo is a young hobbit of thirty-three, 33, today is his birthday also. He is at 'The Coming of Age', in a hobbits life. Bilbo had adopted Frodo a few years back, when his parents died. Frodo is Bilbo's cousin.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile under a tree, Frodo sat reading one of his favorite books. Frodo loved reading. It was one of his favorite things.
Frodo's reading was interrupted by a loud clanging noise coming from the west, down the road. It was Gandalf in his 1987, rusted out Cadillac. You would think a wizard would have enough decency to buy a quality car. Frodo heard a loud 'bang!', as the car yielded to a stop. 'Your late!', said Frodo.
'A wizard is always late in this piece of junk car!', answered Gandalf.
'You know, you could get a new car.'
'A wizard does NOT get a new car! .eh who am I kidding? I cant fix things like I used too I'm getting old Frodo.'
'I know Gandalf, just look in the mirror its plain to see'
Frodo jumped in the car and got out the jumper cables. He popped the hood and hooked one cable to the motor and one to the battery.
'Are you sure that's where you put those?', asked Gandalf.
'please Gandalf, I'm trying to work here', said Frodo.
Frodo turned on the charger. Gandalf watched as frodo shocked himself and laughed slightly. Suddenly the car started and Frodo stopped getting shocked.
'I told you that's not where you put those but does anyone listen to the wizard?. noooo', said Gandalf.
'Lets just go see Bilbo', said Frodo, changing the subject. They got in the car and drove down the road.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile back at Bag End, Bilbo was getting ready for his birthday.
'I'm too sexy for my shirt. to sexy for my shirt.' Bilbo sang.
Just as he was singing Frodo and Gandalf entered the hobbit hole.
'So sexy it hurrrrtttsss.' Bilbo finished as Frodo and Gandalf stood dumb-founded staring at Bilbo. Bilbo's face turned bright red.
'You got it goin' on Bilbo', Gandalf said and winked.
'Same goes for you Gandalf, you sexy, sexy chicken you!', Bilbo replied and winked back.
Frodo stood there beating his head with a wooden spoon he found on the table.
'Will you guys please, PLEASE, save it for later?', he said.
'Very well', said Gandalf.
Bilbo clothed himself and they sat down and ate cheese and drank ale. They smoked pipes and chatted for most of the day.
'Piiipppeee weeeeed!', said Frodo in a stoned voice.
~*~*~*~*~
Later on at Bilbo's party, Bilbo and Frodo were having a wonderful time. There were fireworks, story tellers, enough food to feed the entire Shire three times, and much, much more. Everyone was having a good time.
Samwise Gamgee, Bilbo's gardener, was also at the party. Sam had a thing for a hobbit named Rose, but she had no idea he liked her. Frodo saw Sam gaping at Rose again, like he always did.
'Sam, why don't you just ask her to dance?', asked Frodo.
'I don't know Frodo, she doesn't seem like she likes me', Sam replied.
'Oh, come on Sam, just ask her!'
'No, what if she says no?'
'She won't Sam, believe me.'
'But-'
Sam's statement was interrupted by Frodo pushing him into Rose. He took her in his arms and started dancing with her. Frodo winked at Sam and Sam's face turned red as he smiled and danced with Rose.
A few minutes later Frodo met up with Bilbo. Just then a great 'Boom!' was heard and the crowd went silent and then all of a sudden a firework display of a life-size dragon swooped over their heads. The crowd screamed in fear and ducked to dodge it.
'Bilbo watch out for the dragon!', shouted Frodo. 'What dragon? Have you been smoking pipe weed again?', he said just as Frodo pushed him to the ground.
The dragon disappeared and half a second later a wonderful display of colorful fireworks filled the sky.
'Must have been Merry and Pippin again, those boys are always getting into trouble', said Gandalf.
Gandalf found Merry and Pippin sitting on the ground, covered with soot.
'Duuuddee!. did you see that?!', said Pippin.
'Yeah man, that was grreeaatt let's get another one!', replied Merry.
As Merry finished his statement, Gandalf picked them up by their underwear. Both boys screamed in pain.
'You two getting into mayhem again?', he said. Both the boys looked at each other and laughed.
Gandalf set them down and grabbed both their arms and led them to a pile of dirty dishes. There was millions of plates, bowls, cups, spoons, forks, and knives.
'Oh man, I hate dishes', said Merry.
'Thanks a lot Pippin!', he added.
'Me? It was YOUR idea!', replied Pippin.
'Get washin' Boys!', Said Gandalf.
Gandalf left the two boys to do their work. The boys continued to converse while scrubbing away at the millions of dishes.
'Do you think he's over reacting?', asked Pippin.
'Just keep washin' Pip', said Merry.
Meanwhile Gandalf met up with Frodo and Bilbo.
'Hey ch-ch-chicckkeenn!', said Bilbo.
'Bilbo, have you been drinking again?', asked Frodo.
'Mayybbeee', he said.
Gandalf just stood there smiling and smoking his pipe weed. Bilbo laughed to himself and started to walk up to a chair as everyone started to chant 'Speech! Speech!'.
'O.K., O.K., chill out! I'll speak!', he said.
Bilbo stepped up on the chair to see over the crowd. As he spoke there was a cake in the background burning one-hundred and eleven candles at once. 'My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and tooks and Brandybucks, Grubs, Chubs, Burrowses, and Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses, and Proudfoots!', he said.
'ProudFEET', said an elderly man in the crowd with his feet propped up on the table in front of him.
'Today is my one-hundred and eleventh birthday!', Bilbo said, with a slight slur.
'I hope all of you are having a good time at my party!'. The crowd mumbled 'yes' and some said 'no'. He continued: 'I would like to announce that this is my dearest cousin, Frodo's birthday too, as you all know! I would also like to announce that this is the end.' Bilbo fiddled with something in his vest pocket.
'I'm going now, good-bye!', he added. 'WOAH! I'm invisible!', he shouted.
'Um. Bilbo. I can still see you', said a man in the crowd.
Just then the crowd went silent, they had not expected this. Then Bilbo's cheeks turned red and he jumped of the chair and ran home as fast as he could. The crowd started talking and Frodo and Gandalf met up with each other in the middle somewhere.
'Oh my god! Did you see that?!', said Frodo.
'Like, ya', I may be old, but I'm not blind. yet.' replied Gandalf.
Frodo looked at the chair Bilbo was standing on. He walked over to it. He saw a ring sitting on the seat of it. He picked it up and held it in his hand while inspecting it. Bilbo had a little explaining to do now.