Searching for Armelia
6: Conclusion
The operation lasted three arns and the Diagnosians worked with breathing masks while Talyn kept Medical flooded with the oxygen Crais needed and to which an anaesthetic was added.
When the Diagnosians exited the room they found a concerned group of people waiting. Crichton had his arm around Aeryn's shoulders. She had her arm around Armelia's. Tireeku and Rygel were the only other Moyans left. Levarthes and Benim made up the rest of the group.
Levarthes stepped forward, "How is he?"
One of the Diagnosians took off his mask, "We don't know until a Solar day has passed. It was not an easy operation. We had to use some of his inner tissue to strengthen the heart chamber and to close the small puncture in his lung. If he had delayed the operation by perhaps a monen or less. it would have been too late. His own physiology should do the rest now. His ship is providing him with the healing oxygen. It may be that in future he might not be able to leave his ship for long periods of time."
"I don't think that Captain and ship would mind that," smiled Aeryn.
"He should rest for at least a weeken before he's allowed up. He will need looking after for the duration," said the Diagnosian seriously.
Benim stepped forward, "I will look after him."
"And I," said Aeryn. For a micron she expected Crichton to object but she saw him nod.
"I will look after Armelia in the mean time," he said.
+++++
When Crais woke up he saw Benim sitting in the chair next to him.
"Benim," his voice sounded weak and hoarse, "How long..."
"Two solar days, Captain. How do you feel?"
"Thirsty. Weak. Did it work?"
Benim helped him drink some water, "The Diagnosian was pleased with the outcome. You will still need to rest for a weeken."
"Talyn..."
"Is all right."
"Armelia..."
"Is being looked after by the Moya crew, Commander Crichton said something about baby sitting. Why would he want to sit on babies," Benim frowned in puzzlement.
Crais smiled weakly, "I don't know what it means either. He did that to me for cycles, speaking his riddles." Talking came with small gasps and seemed to cost him a lot of effort.
Benim gave him some more water, "The Diagnosian did tell us that you might need Talyn's oxygen regularly in the future. You might not be able to leave the ship for long periods of time."
"If Talyn has no objections..."
Talyn bleeped happily in answer and it was then that Crais realised that the transponder wasn't in its cradle and he brought his hand up in panic.
"Looking for this Crais," Aeryn's voice came from the doorway. She had heard Talyn's happy bleeping too and she held Crais' transponder in her hand, there was a smile on her face. "The Diagnosian said "complete rest" and that also means any stress from talking to Talyn."
When she saw that he was starting to object, she shook her head, "No! I know you would. It would start with a small link, a quick 'hello' and before long you would be running analyses through the systems to do repairs. We know you too well."
Crais scowled.
"And that will not work either," Aeryn said but her smile was soft and Benim realised they had played this game before.
Benim stood up, "I will leave you two for the moment while I get something to eat." He left quickly.
Aeryn sat down in the chair that Benim had vacated and looked at Crais. She took Crais' hand in her hand, there was no strength in it and she felt sad for him and tried to keep the feeling from showing on her face.
She explained in happier tones, "Benim is very loyal to you Crais. Even when it was my turn to watch over you he never left (Crais nodded). Armelia is on Moya now. John is keeping her occupied (Crais frowned). Don't worry he's good with children. It keeps her mind off worrying about you (Crais seemed to relax). You are not allowed to have visitors for another couple of days. You rest now."
Crais shook his head but his body went against his wishes and soon he drifted off to sleep.
Aeryn watched him sleep, still holding his hand.
+++++
When Benim came back he thought he could see tears in Aeryn's eyes. He coughed to let her know he had entered and could see her compose herself. She let go of Crais' hand.
"I hope he will take care of himself now that he has found his daughter," he said softly.
"I hope so too, Benim. I often wondered what kind of man he would have been if he hadn't been a Peacekeeper or their lives had been different. He is a good man at heart but lets himself be driven by obsessions."
Benim didn't answer and looked away. He had seen what Crais obsessions could do but had also seen his compassion.
"Was it that bad," Aeryn asked softly.
"We were driven by revenge," countered Benim evasively.
"But Crais' was worse."
"His pain and his loss was bigger."
Aeryn looked at the sleeping form of Crais, "I've heard the rumours and the stories."
Benim couldn't gauge the emotions that flitted past Aeryn's face. Pity? Disgust? Understanding?
"You don't know the half of it," he thought.
+++++
On the fourth day of his enforced rest, Crais didn't want to rest any longer.
Benim had just entered Medical when he heard Crais say to Aeryn, "At least let me have the transponder back!"
"The Diagnosian said "complete rest" and I will keep you to it."
"He didn't say "complete boredom"! Boredom is more damaging than..."
"No work Crais!"
"Aeryn," Crais said in a low menacing voice, he coughed, "I am completely bored out of my mind. It is driving me Fahrbot! If you want to drive me to insanity, fine but at least could you make it painless and sedate me for the next three solar days?" He scowled darkly and his breath came in small gasps again.
Aeryn had restrained him to the bed when he had tried to get up one time too often. It had done nothing to alleviate his frustration.
"You have to calm down, Crais, look what you are doing to yourself..." soothed Aeryn.
"Calm down?" Crais nearly shouted in sheer frustration.
"The Diagnosian said..."
"Frell the Diagnosian," said Crais angrily.
The room fell silent immediately and Aeryn and Benim both looked at Crais in shock, Crais had never cursed or sworn. Crais breathed heavily and his anger deepened.
"Aeryn," Benim tried to help, "The Diagnosian said rest not rigidity. It would be all right if he had something to do while he was resting."
"Like what," countered Aeryn, "The only thing that would make him happy is work."
"What if he could do the work without the physical stress?"
"You are proposing to link him back to Talyn."
"We could make sure that Talyn understands that Crais is not allowed to work."
Finally Crais had enough of being kept out of the conversation, "I prefer you to notice my presence." His brow pinched in annoyance.
"I don't know," said Aeryn, not having listened to Crais or seen his annoyance.
Benim had, "Sorry Captain, we are not leaving you out of the discussion."
"Then it is a good impression," said Crais sarcastically.
Finally they agreed, with Talyn's and Crais' promises, to let Crais have the transponder back.
+++++
The reunion of Captain and ship was a happy occasion for both. Aeryn had to admit that for the first time in days she could see Crais relax while he communicated to Talyn.
Crais! I have missed you Talyn's voice was happy through the link.
"So have I," Crais thought back, "How are you my friend?"
Better answered Talyn Armelia wanted to come on board and see us but they wouldn't let her
"I know. I am not allowed to have visitors for another couple of days. Diagnosian's orders and Aeryn is keeping vehemently at his orders," Crais' breathing quickened.
Calm down Crais
"Don't you start too Talyn," Crais could have sworn that he could hear Talyn chuckle. Crais smiled, it was good to hear Talyn happy again.
How are you Crais Talyn couldn't keep the worry out of the link.
"Weak and sore but my breathing seemed to have eased. Thank you for your help Talyn."
You're welcome Crais
In the days after his operation Talyn had been flooding the room with purified oxygen at least seven arns a day and every time Aeryn and Benim had left the room for a long period.
With the knowledge that Armelia was found, Talyn had calmed down too and Crais could feel a great joy and calm issuing from his Leviathan. This, in turn, was transferred to Crais and Aeryn and Benim could see him relax visibly.
Rather than interrupting his link with Talyn, Aeryn and Benim agreed quietly to let him keep the transponder and just monitor Crais for undue stress. The link seemed to do him good and once in a while they could see a smile appear on Crais' face.
+++++
At the end of the weeken the Diagnosian returned. He had seen no reason to come sooner since no one had reported any complications.
He found his patient happily conversing with Aeryn who was giving him an update of what had happened to the Moya crew in the last ten cycles. Crais had listened to her version of the past. Talyn had already given him an update from Moya's point of view.
"Still resting, I see. Good," said the Diagnosian.
A brief hint of annoyance passed over Crais' features but was quickly replaced by calm composure.
Aeryn left the room to leave the two men and waited outside with Benim.
Less than half an arn later the Diagnosian came out of the room and walked over to an anxious Aeryn and Benim, "The operation was a success and he should be back to full health soon. However, I have advised him to avoid undue stress and anxiety for the time being. He is allowed up but should avoid physical stress as much as possible for at least two weekens. After that regular exercise should do him good, provided he will take rests in between."
"We will make sure of that," Aeryn promised, "Is he allowed visitors?"
+++++
Within the arn after the Diagnosian's leaving the others were on board Talyn. Crais had moved to the galley to see them all.
Armelia ran over to him when she entered and the others didn't enter the galley to give them some time together before seeing him. They gathered in the corridor. Levarthes and Crichton laughed heartily when Benim told them how Aeryn had kept Crais in check.
After an arn they all entered the galley. Crais was pale but composed. He had his hand protectively on Armelia's hand who sat to his right. Only Benim and Aeryn who had seen him recover for a weeken could see that Crais controlled himself with an effort.
Pleasantries and wishes of well being were exchanged, Crais felt uncomfortable with the attention. He actually reddened when Tireeku touched his hair.
"What are you going to do, now that your daughter is back," Levarthes asked.
"I don't know," answered Crais honestly, "I had not thought beyond that."
"You can't keep hunting Scarrans," said Aeryn, "and rescue missions are out of the question too for the time being."
Crais sat silent, looking at his hands on the table. He had not moved his hand off Armelia's hand.
"I can't see you settling down on a planet either," laughed Crichton, "The tranquillity would kill you,"
Crais looked up and raised an eyebrow.
"Admit it Crais, your fighting days are over," Crichton said jovially, "and it scares you to death."
For once the Human was right. Crais had been thinking it over in the last weeken and the thought had scared him.
Crichton grew impatient with Crais' silence, "Well? Say something man. What are you going to do now? Write a biography? I bet the Scarrans and Peacekeepers would like a copy. Instant best-seller."
For a brief moment irritation flitted over Crais' face but it was soon replaced by his usual calm. He looked at the others, "I have given it little thought. Staying planetside might not be a feasible option, since staying on Talyn might be more beneficial for the moment. I would like to get reacquainted with Armelia and heal."
Crais frowned, "Maybe my fighting days are over but there is still so much injustice out there and I'm not only talking about Scarrans." He looked at Levarthes, "If we can get enough ships and volunteers together we might be able to end injustice in the immediate area."
Crichton frowned, "You are thinking of setting up a private army."
"Not an army. Volunteers patrolling the area..."
"Peacekeepers," spat Crichton, "How long before it becomes a regular army? How long before you draft people? Wake up Bialar! Your dreams are making you want to create another Peacekeeper's corps!"
Crais frowned. The thought had crossed his mind that he had been thinking of a Peacekeeper's Patrol but one with nobler thoughts and volunteers. He now admitted that his ideas had been schooled on the Peacekeepers and that somewhere down the path history would repeat itself. He knew that the Peacekeepers had long ago set out with noble thoughts, just as he had been thinking now. He'd had his reservations when the idea stole into his mind and he was almost glad that Crichton had voiced them.
He stood up, "For the time being I will rest and heal. We will stay in orbit of Rhagnor for a short while and then Armelia and I will go back to the Uncharted territories. When I have decided what I will do, you will hear from me. I'll be in Command."
Crichton blocked his path, "Running away again Crais."
Crais raised an eyebrow at him, "I am not..."
"Frell, Crais!" Crichton grew annoyed and Aeryn laid a hand on his arm. Crichton shook it off and glared at Crais, "You have only just been pulled away from death's door. You have been reunited with your daughter after five cycles of an intense search and a killing spree but whom you have hardly spoken two words to since you've found her. You don't want to discuss possibilities that may get you killed in the near future. No... Captain Crunch needs to go to Command. And you don't call that running?"
For a moment Crichton thought Crais was going to throw him right across the galley for insolence. For a brief moment he saw the glare appear in Crais' eyes.
To his surprise Crais' face smoothed out.
"You are right, Crichton," Crais said softly. Crichton was stunned.
Crais sat down at the far end of the table and continued, " For five cycles I have had purpose; however hard, whatever good or evil it might have done. And now that Armelia is found, that purpose has ended. I am overjoyed having found her again (Armelia stood up and moved next to him, draping her small arm over his shoulder while his arm encircled her waist) but there is now also an emptiness that will not easily be filled again."
"How about living for the moment for a change," asked Crichton softly, "and not just in the way of hunting Scarrans or wondering if it is going to be your last day. Can't you allow some happiness into that universe of yours? Don't be afraid that your face will crack into a thousand pieces if you smile once in a while."
"Happiness is a rare commodity in my life," said Crais, he was still wondering when he would wake up, "but I will try to work with it."
Crais looked around the table, "For the moment I will stay in orbit over Rhagnor until I am well enough to travel. Talyn needs his rest and Armelia and I have some catching up to do. I will consider what to do next after that."
"We will be staying for a while too," said Aeryn, "Come and visit us before you leave."
Crais nodded.
+++++
"Father are you not happy to have found me," asked Armelia when they were alone in the galley after everyone had left.
"Of course I am," said Crais softly while he drew Armelia to him, "Why do you ask?"
"As Crichton said, you have hardly spoken to me. Are you ashamed of me?"
He held her close. She had grown up, "No, my daughter, I am not ashamed of you. If someone should be ashamed, it should be me."
"Why Father?"
"I have killed innocents in my rage and urge to find you. For most of the five cycles I killed nearly every Scarran in sight. Does that make me any better than they are?"
There wasn't much Armelia could say to that. "You were looking for me," she said in his defence.
"Yes," said Crais drawing her closer so she wouldn't be able to see the sadness on his face, "I was looking for you."
THE END
1
6: Conclusion
The operation lasted three arns and the Diagnosians worked with breathing masks while Talyn kept Medical flooded with the oxygen Crais needed and to which an anaesthetic was added.
When the Diagnosians exited the room they found a concerned group of people waiting. Crichton had his arm around Aeryn's shoulders. She had her arm around Armelia's. Tireeku and Rygel were the only other Moyans left. Levarthes and Benim made up the rest of the group.
Levarthes stepped forward, "How is he?"
One of the Diagnosians took off his mask, "We don't know until a Solar day has passed. It was not an easy operation. We had to use some of his inner tissue to strengthen the heart chamber and to close the small puncture in his lung. If he had delayed the operation by perhaps a monen or less. it would have been too late. His own physiology should do the rest now. His ship is providing him with the healing oxygen. It may be that in future he might not be able to leave his ship for long periods of time."
"I don't think that Captain and ship would mind that," smiled Aeryn.
"He should rest for at least a weeken before he's allowed up. He will need looking after for the duration," said the Diagnosian seriously.
Benim stepped forward, "I will look after him."
"And I," said Aeryn. For a micron she expected Crichton to object but she saw him nod.
"I will look after Armelia in the mean time," he said.
+++++
When Crais woke up he saw Benim sitting in the chair next to him.
"Benim," his voice sounded weak and hoarse, "How long..."
"Two solar days, Captain. How do you feel?"
"Thirsty. Weak. Did it work?"
Benim helped him drink some water, "The Diagnosian was pleased with the outcome. You will still need to rest for a weeken."
"Talyn..."
"Is all right."
"Armelia..."
"Is being looked after by the Moya crew, Commander Crichton said something about baby sitting. Why would he want to sit on babies," Benim frowned in puzzlement.
Crais smiled weakly, "I don't know what it means either. He did that to me for cycles, speaking his riddles." Talking came with small gasps and seemed to cost him a lot of effort.
Benim gave him some more water, "The Diagnosian did tell us that you might need Talyn's oxygen regularly in the future. You might not be able to leave the ship for long periods of time."
"If Talyn has no objections..."
Talyn bleeped happily in answer and it was then that Crais realised that the transponder wasn't in its cradle and he brought his hand up in panic.
"Looking for this Crais," Aeryn's voice came from the doorway. She had heard Talyn's happy bleeping too and she held Crais' transponder in her hand, there was a smile on her face. "The Diagnosian said "complete rest" and that also means any stress from talking to Talyn."
When she saw that he was starting to object, she shook her head, "No! I know you would. It would start with a small link, a quick 'hello' and before long you would be running analyses through the systems to do repairs. We know you too well."
Crais scowled.
"And that will not work either," Aeryn said but her smile was soft and Benim realised they had played this game before.
Benim stood up, "I will leave you two for the moment while I get something to eat." He left quickly.
Aeryn sat down in the chair that Benim had vacated and looked at Crais. She took Crais' hand in her hand, there was no strength in it and she felt sad for him and tried to keep the feeling from showing on her face.
She explained in happier tones, "Benim is very loyal to you Crais. Even when it was my turn to watch over you he never left (Crais nodded). Armelia is on Moya now. John is keeping her occupied (Crais frowned). Don't worry he's good with children. It keeps her mind off worrying about you (Crais seemed to relax). You are not allowed to have visitors for another couple of days. You rest now."
Crais shook his head but his body went against his wishes and soon he drifted off to sleep.
Aeryn watched him sleep, still holding his hand.
+++++
When Benim came back he thought he could see tears in Aeryn's eyes. He coughed to let her know he had entered and could see her compose herself. She let go of Crais' hand.
"I hope he will take care of himself now that he has found his daughter," he said softly.
"I hope so too, Benim. I often wondered what kind of man he would have been if he hadn't been a Peacekeeper or their lives had been different. He is a good man at heart but lets himself be driven by obsessions."
Benim didn't answer and looked away. He had seen what Crais obsessions could do but had also seen his compassion.
"Was it that bad," Aeryn asked softly.
"We were driven by revenge," countered Benim evasively.
"But Crais' was worse."
"His pain and his loss was bigger."
Aeryn looked at the sleeping form of Crais, "I've heard the rumours and the stories."
Benim couldn't gauge the emotions that flitted past Aeryn's face. Pity? Disgust? Understanding?
"You don't know the half of it," he thought.
+++++
On the fourth day of his enforced rest, Crais didn't want to rest any longer.
Benim had just entered Medical when he heard Crais say to Aeryn, "At least let me have the transponder back!"
"The Diagnosian said "complete rest" and I will keep you to it."
"He didn't say "complete boredom"! Boredom is more damaging than..."
"No work Crais!"
"Aeryn," Crais said in a low menacing voice, he coughed, "I am completely bored out of my mind. It is driving me Fahrbot! If you want to drive me to insanity, fine but at least could you make it painless and sedate me for the next three solar days?" He scowled darkly and his breath came in small gasps again.
Aeryn had restrained him to the bed when he had tried to get up one time too often. It had done nothing to alleviate his frustration.
"You have to calm down, Crais, look what you are doing to yourself..." soothed Aeryn.
"Calm down?" Crais nearly shouted in sheer frustration.
"The Diagnosian said..."
"Frell the Diagnosian," said Crais angrily.
The room fell silent immediately and Aeryn and Benim both looked at Crais in shock, Crais had never cursed or sworn. Crais breathed heavily and his anger deepened.
"Aeryn," Benim tried to help, "The Diagnosian said rest not rigidity. It would be all right if he had something to do while he was resting."
"Like what," countered Aeryn, "The only thing that would make him happy is work."
"What if he could do the work without the physical stress?"
"You are proposing to link him back to Talyn."
"We could make sure that Talyn understands that Crais is not allowed to work."
Finally Crais had enough of being kept out of the conversation, "I prefer you to notice my presence." His brow pinched in annoyance.
"I don't know," said Aeryn, not having listened to Crais or seen his annoyance.
Benim had, "Sorry Captain, we are not leaving you out of the discussion."
"Then it is a good impression," said Crais sarcastically.
Finally they agreed, with Talyn's and Crais' promises, to let Crais have the transponder back.
+++++
The reunion of Captain and ship was a happy occasion for both. Aeryn had to admit that for the first time in days she could see Crais relax while he communicated to Talyn.
Crais! I have missed you Talyn's voice was happy through the link.
"So have I," Crais thought back, "How are you my friend?"
Better answered Talyn Armelia wanted to come on board and see us but they wouldn't let her
"I know. I am not allowed to have visitors for another couple of days. Diagnosian's orders and Aeryn is keeping vehemently at his orders," Crais' breathing quickened.
Calm down Crais
"Don't you start too Talyn," Crais could have sworn that he could hear Talyn chuckle. Crais smiled, it was good to hear Talyn happy again.
How are you Crais Talyn couldn't keep the worry out of the link.
"Weak and sore but my breathing seemed to have eased. Thank you for your help Talyn."
You're welcome Crais
In the days after his operation Talyn had been flooding the room with purified oxygen at least seven arns a day and every time Aeryn and Benim had left the room for a long period.
With the knowledge that Armelia was found, Talyn had calmed down too and Crais could feel a great joy and calm issuing from his Leviathan. This, in turn, was transferred to Crais and Aeryn and Benim could see him relax visibly.
Rather than interrupting his link with Talyn, Aeryn and Benim agreed quietly to let him keep the transponder and just monitor Crais for undue stress. The link seemed to do him good and once in a while they could see a smile appear on Crais' face.
+++++
At the end of the weeken the Diagnosian returned. He had seen no reason to come sooner since no one had reported any complications.
He found his patient happily conversing with Aeryn who was giving him an update of what had happened to the Moya crew in the last ten cycles. Crais had listened to her version of the past. Talyn had already given him an update from Moya's point of view.
"Still resting, I see. Good," said the Diagnosian.
A brief hint of annoyance passed over Crais' features but was quickly replaced by calm composure.
Aeryn left the room to leave the two men and waited outside with Benim.
Less than half an arn later the Diagnosian came out of the room and walked over to an anxious Aeryn and Benim, "The operation was a success and he should be back to full health soon. However, I have advised him to avoid undue stress and anxiety for the time being. He is allowed up but should avoid physical stress as much as possible for at least two weekens. After that regular exercise should do him good, provided he will take rests in between."
"We will make sure of that," Aeryn promised, "Is he allowed visitors?"
+++++
Within the arn after the Diagnosian's leaving the others were on board Talyn. Crais had moved to the galley to see them all.
Armelia ran over to him when she entered and the others didn't enter the galley to give them some time together before seeing him. They gathered in the corridor. Levarthes and Crichton laughed heartily when Benim told them how Aeryn had kept Crais in check.
After an arn they all entered the galley. Crais was pale but composed. He had his hand protectively on Armelia's hand who sat to his right. Only Benim and Aeryn who had seen him recover for a weeken could see that Crais controlled himself with an effort.
Pleasantries and wishes of well being were exchanged, Crais felt uncomfortable with the attention. He actually reddened when Tireeku touched his hair.
"What are you going to do, now that your daughter is back," Levarthes asked.
"I don't know," answered Crais honestly, "I had not thought beyond that."
"You can't keep hunting Scarrans," said Aeryn, "and rescue missions are out of the question too for the time being."
Crais sat silent, looking at his hands on the table. He had not moved his hand off Armelia's hand.
"I can't see you settling down on a planet either," laughed Crichton, "The tranquillity would kill you,"
Crais looked up and raised an eyebrow.
"Admit it Crais, your fighting days are over," Crichton said jovially, "and it scares you to death."
For once the Human was right. Crais had been thinking it over in the last weeken and the thought had scared him.
Crichton grew impatient with Crais' silence, "Well? Say something man. What are you going to do now? Write a biography? I bet the Scarrans and Peacekeepers would like a copy. Instant best-seller."
For a brief moment irritation flitted over Crais' face but it was soon replaced by his usual calm. He looked at the others, "I have given it little thought. Staying planetside might not be a feasible option, since staying on Talyn might be more beneficial for the moment. I would like to get reacquainted with Armelia and heal."
Crais frowned, "Maybe my fighting days are over but there is still so much injustice out there and I'm not only talking about Scarrans." He looked at Levarthes, "If we can get enough ships and volunteers together we might be able to end injustice in the immediate area."
Crichton frowned, "You are thinking of setting up a private army."
"Not an army. Volunteers patrolling the area..."
"Peacekeepers," spat Crichton, "How long before it becomes a regular army? How long before you draft people? Wake up Bialar! Your dreams are making you want to create another Peacekeeper's corps!"
Crais frowned. The thought had crossed his mind that he had been thinking of a Peacekeeper's Patrol but one with nobler thoughts and volunteers. He now admitted that his ideas had been schooled on the Peacekeepers and that somewhere down the path history would repeat itself. He knew that the Peacekeepers had long ago set out with noble thoughts, just as he had been thinking now. He'd had his reservations when the idea stole into his mind and he was almost glad that Crichton had voiced them.
He stood up, "For the time being I will rest and heal. We will stay in orbit of Rhagnor for a short while and then Armelia and I will go back to the Uncharted territories. When I have decided what I will do, you will hear from me. I'll be in Command."
Crichton blocked his path, "Running away again Crais."
Crais raised an eyebrow at him, "I am not..."
"Frell, Crais!" Crichton grew annoyed and Aeryn laid a hand on his arm. Crichton shook it off and glared at Crais, "You have only just been pulled away from death's door. You have been reunited with your daughter after five cycles of an intense search and a killing spree but whom you have hardly spoken two words to since you've found her. You don't want to discuss possibilities that may get you killed in the near future. No... Captain Crunch needs to go to Command. And you don't call that running?"
For a moment Crichton thought Crais was going to throw him right across the galley for insolence. For a brief moment he saw the glare appear in Crais' eyes.
To his surprise Crais' face smoothed out.
"You are right, Crichton," Crais said softly. Crichton was stunned.
Crais sat down at the far end of the table and continued, " For five cycles I have had purpose; however hard, whatever good or evil it might have done. And now that Armelia is found, that purpose has ended. I am overjoyed having found her again (Armelia stood up and moved next to him, draping her small arm over his shoulder while his arm encircled her waist) but there is now also an emptiness that will not easily be filled again."
"How about living for the moment for a change," asked Crichton softly, "and not just in the way of hunting Scarrans or wondering if it is going to be your last day. Can't you allow some happiness into that universe of yours? Don't be afraid that your face will crack into a thousand pieces if you smile once in a while."
"Happiness is a rare commodity in my life," said Crais, he was still wondering when he would wake up, "but I will try to work with it."
Crais looked around the table, "For the moment I will stay in orbit over Rhagnor until I am well enough to travel. Talyn needs his rest and Armelia and I have some catching up to do. I will consider what to do next after that."
"We will be staying for a while too," said Aeryn, "Come and visit us before you leave."
Crais nodded.
+++++
"Father are you not happy to have found me," asked Armelia when they were alone in the galley after everyone had left.
"Of course I am," said Crais softly while he drew Armelia to him, "Why do you ask?"
"As Crichton said, you have hardly spoken to me. Are you ashamed of me?"
He held her close. She had grown up, "No, my daughter, I am not ashamed of you. If someone should be ashamed, it should be me."
"Why Father?"
"I have killed innocents in my rage and urge to find you. For most of the five cycles I killed nearly every Scarran in sight. Does that make me any better than they are?"
There wasn't much Armelia could say to that. "You were looking for me," she said in his defence.
"Yes," said Crais drawing her closer so she wouldn't be able to see the sadness on his face, "I was looking for you."
THE END
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