Yarr! Tis' time fer a pirate story me fine buckaroo! This'ns dedicated to me ol' chum Darkwater! Yarr Ryal yah scurvy land lubber!! May be some gayness. Warning for you! Yarr!



The Quest Continues on the Open Sea

Prologue: Settin' Sail



For days or perhaps weeks the Fellowship of the Ring rested in Lothlorien. They felt their burden of grief from Gandalf's death neither lifted nor lightened. But non the less, each member spent their time in the beautiful home of the Elves as they would had Gandalf not died. Only Legolas seemed unaffected by Gandalf's demise. He showed no emotion and spoke only to the other Elves.

Galadriel had informed them that their time to leave was drawing near. Each member felt unease about leaving the comfort and safety of the Eleven realm. They had also learned from the Lady of Light that Sauron had decided to spread his reign not only over all of Middle-Earth, but over the sea as well. He set sail on a massive shipped backed with Orcs and (as to not get home sick) he brought Mount Doom along with him. The Fire Mountain was brought along behind the ship. So the Fellowship were to follow in their own ship for Orthanc* was no longer in Mordor and it was at the mountain that they needed to destroy the One Ring.



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Finally the Fellowship stood together, silent and sad, at the edge of the river which was too lead them on their journey to the sea. A massive gray ship was docked before them. It bobbed up and down in the ebbing of the river. Food and grog was being loaded on it by Elves. The Fellowship was about to board the ship when a high-pitched scream rent through the air.

Legolas then noticed Argorn was not with them and bounded towards the place the scream originated. Behind him, Boromir followed closely, then Gimli and the four Hobbits. Legolas stopped dead in a clearing of the trees, before he could stop himself, Boromir crashed into Legolas and they fell into a heap. Gimli tripped over them and landed onto them. The four Hobbits also fell into the fray and Pippin seeing he was pressed tightly to Merry, began to make out with him.

After much yelling and untangling of limbs, everyone (but Merry and Pippin who were occupied) stood to see Gandalf and the Balrog of Moria standing there. Aragorn was screaming like a woman and clinging to Gandalf, happy to see him alive.

"See yah Thursday night then Gandalf. The wife is makin' spaghetti and brownies," The fiery Balrog trotted off as it waved goodbye.

The wizard promised he wouldn't miss it for the world and he smiled farewell to his newest friend, "Cyah later Frank!"

"Your alive Gandlf!!" Frodo ran to him, brimming over with joy. A walrus clapped its fins together. Pippin and Merry were groaning as they rolled about kissing frantically, they tripped Frodo and he fell off a cliff.



"Come me hearties! Tis' time ta sail! But first we need a name fer our ship," Gandalf shook Aragorn off his arm and sat down, everyone else sat down as well, except for the two sexually distraught Hobbits and Frodo of course, he fell off a cliff. Sam was weeping for his lost Mr. Frodo and the walrus continued to clap its fins together.

After some deliberating, the pirate ship was to be called Violent Dumpling. "A fine name indeed!" Gandalf, who now calls himself Captain Grayclogs, had said enthusiastically. Since he was self appointed leader of the Fellowship of the Ring, he decided to sport his new gray clogs that he picked up on his way out of Moria and take the role of captain.

After prying the two love-making Hobbits apart with the end of his staff, Captain Grayclogs tromped off to the ship followed by First Mate Aragorn, Cabin Boy Frodo the Ferious, Perilous Pippin, and Merry the Merciless. Sam was to be cooking wench aboard the ship and Legolas was to sit in the crow's nest and be lookout. Baramir was the swabby and Gimli was given the task of official barnacle scrapper.



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Elsewhere another ship was already sailing the seas. Looming into the darkness, a large black ship was moving silently through mist. The mist parted before it revealing the bow, scrawled on it in the wicked and evil Black Speech of Mordor, were the words Hell's Pansy. Aboard the dire ship Orcs scrambled about doing this an' that. They baked cupcakes and composed songs. However, all activity ceased as an evil, dark, object contained in a glass bottle rolled out of the captain's cabin.

Now that the crew is all ready to sail the high seas, what will befall them?! Yarr matey! What could the evil thing be in the bottle?!!? Does it know how to hoola-hoop?! I don't know.I just don't know. Few things will be revealed in the first chapter!