Road Trip
Chapter Two – Breakdown (Part One)
It was early morning and the sun was just rising from the ground to take its rightful place in the sky. This meant that the temperature was within the bearable range not requiring either gallons of water or several layers of clothing. In this scene of serine delight nothing was stirring except for the metal cage racing along on the tarmac highway. And inside this metal cage there is our two heroes engaged in a battle of wits that the world has not seen since the days of comic books.
"It's too hot." Said Buffy with a wave of her hand for added effect.
"Maybe if you took off a few of your layers you wouldn't be so hot." Replied Xander.
"That's just what you want."
"Yeah, it's all part of my master plan."
Buffy looked out the window and seeing nothing of interest returned her vision back to the road in front and said, "I'm bored."
"Turn on the radio." Suggested Xander.
Buffy thought about it and decided that she didn't have anything to lose. She leaned forward and pressed several buttons until a man's voice emerged from the speaker. "Today we will be talking about the seven deadly sins. Sin number one…"A quick turn of the dial and the voice was gone. After a bit of a search and new voice emerged, "Sin number four…" Again the voice was quickly replaced by static and again after a search a new voice emerged, "Sin number six…" This time Buffy just turned it off and sat back in her chair.
"Aww…" Said Xander in mock disappointment, "I really wanted to know what the sixth deadly sin was."
"Excessive mockery." Came the reply.
"What's number seven then?"
After a pause Buffy responded, "Ugly shoes."
"The gospel according to Buffy." Xander said with a laugh, which caused Buffy to laugh.
Several minutes passed in which neither of them said anything.
"Man, it's hot." Xander said breaking the silence.
"I thought it was just me and my layers?"
"Yeah I my have overestimated the effect of your layers."
"You want me to put on the A/C?"
"It's okay I'll do it." He adjusted his hands so that he could free one.
Buffy, seeing this, said, "I can do it."
"No it's okay."
"You don't trust me, do you?" She asked with an inquiring look.
"No it's not that." He replied noticing the look.
"What is it then?"
"It's…" Xander paused trying to buy some time for him to think up a good reason, "It's…err…it's…"
"It's…" Buffy parodying him.
"It's…" He continued, "It's because," but nothing came to his mind so he gave up, "Okay I got nothing."
"You don't trust me." Offered Buffy.
Xander considered doing the delaying tactic again but decided against it. Instead he decided to go down the honest path in the hope of picking up a few brownie points. "It's an old car and not everything works as it supposed to work. You might press the wrong button."
"And you know which button to press? " Buffy said, not apparently caring about Xander's honesty.
"Well…" But before he could finish Buffy leaned forward to press the A/C button, "What are you doing?" He shouted.
However before he could do anything she had pressed the button. There was a moment of silence as both waiting for something to happen but nothing did. She turned towards him and smiled.
"I trusted you." He said.
"Sure you did." Came the sarcastic reply.
"What?" He asked with pretend shock in his voice.
She was about to answer but before the words came out of her mouth the car made an unusual noise. As with most unusual noises made by cars it wasn't good. Within a few minutes massive plumps of smoke were bellowing from the engine. "Oh crap." Said Xander as he slowly parked the car on the edge of the road.
"It wasn't me." Said Buffy with as much innocence as she could muster.
"Sure you didn't." Xander replied looking straight at Buffy.
"What?"
Xander didn't respond as he opened his door and slid out. He walked to the engine and popped open the hood and stared at the engine. Buffy leaned out of the window and shouted, "What's wrong?"
Xander scratched his head and put on his best puzzled look and replied, "Probably the fan belt."
"The fan belt?"
"Yeah."
"Can you fix it?"
Xander was by now deeply engulfed in the engine and examining what he saw before him causing him to not hear Buffy's question. She considered shouting again but decided to get out of the car and have a look herself. She walked up to the front of the car and saw Xander examining the engine, "Can you fix it?"
This caused Xander to leap up in shock and in doing so slammed his head against the roof of the bonnet. This, in turn, caused Buffy to laugh despite her best effort to suppress it.
"God dammit!" Shouted Xander.
"So what's wrong?" Asked Buffy between chuckles.
"I hit my head." Said Xander rubbing his head.
"I meant with the car."
"Oh, I think it is the fan belt." He answered still rubbing his head.
"The fan belt?"
"Yeah."
Buffy looked Xander straight in the eyes and with a forceful look on her face asked, "Which one is the fan belt?"
He hesitated and then pointed to part of the engine, "There."
"That's not the fan belt." Buffy said dismissively
Xander looked confused; "It's not?"
"Ah-ha!" Said Buffy with a finger pointed accusingly in Xander's direction.
"Ah-ha what?"
"Ah-ha you don't know which one is the fan belt."
"Crap." Said Xander in a low voice. "Okay fine, I don't know which one is the fan belt."
"Why did you say you did?"
"Because men are supposed to know where the fan belt is."
"And women are supposed to know how to bake a cake?" Asked Buffy.
"No, of course not." Said Xander knowing a trap when he saw one.
"I bet you some men don't know where the fan belt is."
"Yeah and what kind of men are they?"
"You're saying not knowing where the fan belt is a sign of homosexuality?" Asked Buffy with a little bit of shock.
"What?" Said Xander with surprise. "No. I'm saying not knowing where the fan belt is a sign that you don't know how to fix a car."
"Oh."
"I'll tell you what a good sign of homosexuality is." Offered Xander.
"Xander, stop and think if what you are going to say if appropriate."
"Yeah, you're probably right." Xander said with a grin. "Best not."
The two of them stared at the broken engine. Then Buffy turned to Xander, "So you don't know how to fix this?"
"Nope." He said with no emotion.
Buffy looked up and down the stretch of road they found themselves on and saw nothing, not a car, a bird or even a lizard. She shielded her eyes and she looked up into the sky. It was the kind of clear blue sky that you are told exists but you don't quite believe does. And in this sky the sun was slowly gaining altitude and beginning to beat down upon them.
"We're screwed aren't we?" She asked turning to Xander.
He turned to meet her glaze and replied, again with no emotion, "Yep."