Summary/Diclaimer: See Prologue.
*****
Chapter 5
They had spent hours on the roof, just watching the stars and moon. Very little had been said after Spike's proclamation, very little needed to be said.
Buffy could honestly say that she felt happy for the first time since she lost the leg. Up on the roof her problems seemed to be less real, like everything would just get better on its own. It was when Spike took her back to her room because she was cold that the depression that had only just lifted came back full force.
"Why Spike?" She really had meant to go to sleep, she especially didn't want to spoil what had been for her the best night in a long time.
Spike wasn't sure what she meant. Why did the demon attack? Why did its tail catch her in just the wrong way? Instead of trying to work it out he decided to just ask her.
"What do you mean luv? What are you asking me?" If he had spent the rest of his unlife guessing what she meant, he wouldn't have come close to what she said next.
"Why did you take me to the hospital? I'm the slayer, it would have healed up. The doctors don't know what I am, they don't know why the wound they left has nearly healed. They didn't know so they......" She trailed off, never finishing the sentence.
Spike was close to vomiting. Buffy blamed him? All the insults that she had ever spat at him, all the times she had told him she was a thing, or beneath her didn't come close to causing the level of pain Spike felt at the thought that she blamed him for this.
Just like when she died, he had replayed the night over and over, thinking of ways he could have prevented this from happening, but to think that Buffy also thought that he should have done more, not failed her, was devastating. He tried to free all emotion from his voice when he next spoke.
"Slayer healing wouldn't have done shit if you'd already bled to death Buffy." she sounded defeated when she answered him.
"I know, you had no other choice." Spike was so relieved to hear that she didn't blame him, he wanted to shout and laugh and scream. But what she said finally fully registered to him. He knew this could destroy everything they had built up, but she needed to know.
"That's not true pet. When I saw you laying there with all that blood I had another idea on how to save you. I honestly thought it would be the only thing to save you." He paused and she looked at him questioningly. "I wanted to give you my blood Buffy, to save you my way. To turn you." He couldn't look her in the eyes as he said this.
Buffy was shocked at his words. Not at the fact that he thought about turning her, after all that was what he was. She was shocked that even though he felt it would be the only way to save her, to make her truly his for all eternity, he didn't do it. He took her to hospital instead. She truly saw the man pushing back the monster.
"Do you hate me luv? Do you blame me for this?" Spike's voice was hesitant, wary of the possible answers to his question.
"I don't blame you Spike. And I don't hate you. If you had done that, if you had turned me then I would have hated you. And Spike, I haven't hated you for along time."
TBC
AN: It wont be all dark and gloomy all the time! This fic will get more romantic, just not too fluffy.
Please review!
*****
Chapter 5
They had spent hours on the roof, just watching the stars and moon. Very little had been said after Spike's proclamation, very little needed to be said.
Buffy could honestly say that she felt happy for the first time since she lost the leg. Up on the roof her problems seemed to be less real, like everything would just get better on its own. It was when Spike took her back to her room because she was cold that the depression that had only just lifted came back full force.
"Why Spike?" She really had meant to go to sleep, she especially didn't want to spoil what had been for her the best night in a long time.
Spike wasn't sure what she meant. Why did the demon attack? Why did its tail catch her in just the wrong way? Instead of trying to work it out he decided to just ask her.
"What do you mean luv? What are you asking me?" If he had spent the rest of his unlife guessing what she meant, he wouldn't have come close to what she said next.
"Why did you take me to the hospital? I'm the slayer, it would have healed up. The doctors don't know what I am, they don't know why the wound they left has nearly healed. They didn't know so they......" She trailed off, never finishing the sentence.
Spike was close to vomiting. Buffy blamed him? All the insults that she had ever spat at him, all the times she had told him she was a thing, or beneath her didn't come close to causing the level of pain Spike felt at the thought that she blamed him for this.
Just like when she died, he had replayed the night over and over, thinking of ways he could have prevented this from happening, but to think that Buffy also thought that he should have done more, not failed her, was devastating. He tried to free all emotion from his voice when he next spoke.
"Slayer healing wouldn't have done shit if you'd already bled to death Buffy." she sounded defeated when she answered him.
"I know, you had no other choice." Spike was so relieved to hear that she didn't blame him, he wanted to shout and laugh and scream. But what she said finally fully registered to him. He knew this could destroy everything they had built up, but she needed to know.
"That's not true pet. When I saw you laying there with all that blood I had another idea on how to save you. I honestly thought it would be the only thing to save you." He paused and she looked at him questioningly. "I wanted to give you my blood Buffy, to save you my way. To turn you." He couldn't look her in the eyes as he said this.
Buffy was shocked at his words. Not at the fact that he thought about turning her, after all that was what he was. She was shocked that even though he felt it would be the only way to save her, to make her truly his for all eternity, he didn't do it. He took her to hospital instead. She truly saw the man pushing back the monster.
"Do you hate me luv? Do you blame me for this?" Spike's voice was hesitant, wary of the possible answers to his question.
"I don't blame you Spike. And I don't hate you. If you had done that, if you had turned me then I would have hated you. And Spike, I haven't hated you for along time."
TBC
AN: It wont be all dark and gloomy all the time! This fic will get more romantic, just not too fluffy.
Please review!