Summary/Disclaimer: See Prologue
*****
Chapter 8
Spike thought he was going to pass out. It was a good thing he didn't have to breathe because he didn't think he could, even if his life depended on it. After a few moments he snapped out of it and leaned over and kissed Buffy.
The kiss was slow, none of the fierceness of their previous kisses, but it contained so much more emotion.
Still not rushing the kiss, Spike reached up to cup Buffy's breast. She moaned into his mouth.
"Mmm Love you Spike."
"Love you Buffy."
As Spike leaned them back onto her bed, Buffy's eyes shot open.
"No Spike."
She broke the kiss and pushed Spike off of her, causing him to fall of the bed.
"Buffy?" Spike had no idea what was going on, she just told him she loved him and now she was rejecting him?
"Please go." Her voice was a whisper and she couldn't look him in the eye as she spoke.
"Buffy, luv, what's wrong?"
"Just leave!" Leaving was the last thing Spike wanted to do but at the desperation in her command he forced himself to do as she said. Something was obviously wrong and it sounded as if he was making it worse by being there. He got up off the floor and left the room.
*****
As he descended the stairs Spike had every intention of just walking out the house and staying at his crypt, he was going to make no fuss, just leave and come back tomorrow to help Buffy. He decided that whatever was wrong with Buffy she needed some time to figure it out but he would continue to help no matter what was going on between them.
He just hoped she didn't regret saying she loved him. He had waited so long to hear it that if she took it back now he thought it would destroy him.
His plan was interrupted as he ran into Dawn at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hey Spike." When she didn't get a response she studied his hunched shoulders and sad expression. "What's wrong?"
"She told me she loves me." Dawn was confused. This was good, right? She wanted to hug Spike and offer congratulations but something had obviously gone wrong.
"That's great, isn't it?"
"Bloody right it is! But right after telling me she pushed me away and told me to leave."
"Told you to leave like 'It's late and I need to sleep' or 'Get out of my house'?"
"Get out." Spike looked confused and defeated at the same time. This was what he had been waiting for and it all seemed to be falling apart already.
Dawn needed him to know that he wasn't alone so she hugged him. She didn't have a clue why Buffy was throwing him out but she damn well would find out.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to her. So, are you going to spend the night in the basement?"
"Thought I'd head back to my crypt for tonight Bit. Give Buffy some room to sort out what's wrong. Don't worry, I'll be back in the morning."
Dawn watched as he opened the front door and left. Taking a deep breath she headed up the stairs to see what the hell her sister was doing.
*****
"Buffy?" Dawn pushed her sister's door open and entered the room. She saw Buffy laying on her bed crying.
"Buffy, what's wrong? Spike just came downstairs looking like someone had peed in his blood and now he's gone to spend the night in his crypt."
"I told him I love him."
"Yeah, he mentioned that. What happened after?"
"We kissed. Things would have gone further but I thought of something so I stopped him." She took in Dawn's puzzled look so she continued. "What if he realises that he doesn't want me now? What if he wants someone who isn't broken? What if when he saw me he was disgusted, or pitying? I saw how you and the gang looked at me when I was in the hospital. I couldn't take Spike looking at me that way."
Dawn tried to reassure Buffy that Spike still loved her and wouldn't look at her differently but nothing worked. Eventually she left Buffy to get some rest. She knew what she had to do.
Quietly she slipped out the house. She had to see Spike. If he knew what Buffy was thinking then he could put it right and everything would be OK. Quickly she headed off in the direction of his crypt.
TBC
AN: This was very difficult to write. Updates to this story will now be every 2 or 3 days as I will mainly be concentrating on my other story Flee.
Don't worry, I would never start a fic and not finish it. This will be completed.
This chapter is the lowest point in the story. For anyone thinking that is a really depressing fic, it gets less depressing from here.
Please review me!
*****
Chapter 8
Spike thought he was going to pass out. It was a good thing he didn't have to breathe because he didn't think he could, even if his life depended on it. After a few moments he snapped out of it and leaned over and kissed Buffy.
The kiss was slow, none of the fierceness of their previous kisses, but it contained so much more emotion.
Still not rushing the kiss, Spike reached up to cup Buffy's breast. She moaned into his mouth.
"Mmm Love you Spike."
"Love you Buffy."
As Spike leaned them back onto her bed, Buffy's eyes shot open.
"No Spike."
She broke the kiss and pushed Spike off of her, causing him to fall of the bed.
"Buffy?" Spike had no idea what was going on, she just told him she loved him and now she was rejecting him?
"Please go." Her voice was a whisper and she couldn't look him in the eye as she spoke.
"Buffy, luv, what's wrong?"
"Just leave!" Leaving was the last thing Spike wanted to do but at the desperation in her command he forced himself to do as she said. Something was obviously wrong and it sounded as if he was making it worse by being there. He got up off the floor and left the room.
*****
As he descended the stairs Spike had every intention of just walking out the house and staying at his crypt, he was going to make no fuss, just leave and come back tomorrow to help Buffy. He decided that whatever was wrong with Buffy she needed some time to figure it out but he would continue to help no matter what was going on between them.
He just hoped she didn't regret saying she loved him. He had waited so long to hear it that if she took it back now he thought it would destroy him.
His plan was interrupted as he ran into Dawn at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hey Spike." When she didn't get a response she studied his hunched shoulders and sad expression. "What's wrong?"
"She told me she loves me." Dawn was confused. This was good, right? She wanted to hug Spike and offer congratulations but something had obviously gone wrong.
"That's great, isn't it?"
"Bloody right it is! But right after telling me she pushed me away and told me to leave."
"Told you to leave like 'It's late and I need to sleep' or 'Get out of my house'?"
"Get out." Spike looked confused and defeated at the same time. This was what he had been waiting for and it all seemed to be falling apart already.
Dawn needed him to know that he wasn't alone so she hugged him. She didn't have a clue why Buffy was throwing him out but she damn well would find out.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to her. So, are you going to spend the night in the basement?"
"Thought I'd head back to my crypt for tonight Bit. Give Buffy some room to sort out what's wrong. Don't worry, I'll be back in the morning."
Dawn watched as he opened the front door and left. Taking a deep breath she headed up the stairs to see what the hell her sister was doing.
*****
"Buffy?" Dawn pushed her sister's door open and entered the room. She saw Buffy laying on her bed crying.
"Buffy, what's wrong? Spike just came downstairs looking like someone had peed in his blood and now he's gone to spend the night in his crypt."
"I told him I love him."
"Yeah, he mentioned that. What happened after?"
"We kissed. Things would have gone further but I thought of something so I stopped him." She took in Dawn's puzzled look so she continued. "What if he realises that he doesn't want me now? What if he wants someone who isn't broken? What if when he saw me he was disgusted, or pitying? I saw how you and the gang looked at me when I was in the hospital. I couldn't take Spike looking at me that way."
Dawn tried to reassure Buffy that Spike still loved her and wouldn't look at her differently but nothing worked. Eventually she left Buffy to get some rest. She knew what she had to do.
Quietly she slipped out the house. She had to see Spike. If he knew what Buffy was thinking then he could put it right and everything would be OK. Quickly she headed off in the direction of his crypt.
TBC
AN: This was very difficult to write. Updates to this story will now be every 2 or 3 days as I will mainly be concentrating on my other story Flee.
Don't worry, I would never start a fic and not finish it. This will be completed.
This chapter is the lowest point in the story. For anyone thinking that is a really depressing fic, it gets less depressing from here.
Please review me!