Its very weird you know. Sitting here in the pitch-black writing in a diary. I'm glad my curtains around my bed are so thick; otherwise I'm sure I would of woken one of these ugly brutes from their beauty sleep. Huh. This is such a muggle thing to do. Write a pathetic little diary because you have no one to talk to. The truth is, I don't have anyone to talk to. It's all right to be adored now and then by silly little girls such as Pansy Parkinson, to have Crabbe and Goyle wander around after me like I am there king. but I wouldn't ever tell them what I really feel. I am actually very pathetic and lonely. (No way would I ever admit that to anybody, a Malfoy, pathetic?) And I do have a lot of talking to do. First off, I hate my father. He is a selfish, conniving, brutish, bastard and I would love to see someone stick something through him. Maybe a blunt knife.much more painful. Or a grapefruit spoon. Ever since I was born my father has been bullying me around. He's hit me before, until he realised I bruise easily and going anywhere with great big welts across your face, was not a good idea. He started on verbally abusing me around the age of four; he treats my mother like dirt too. He flirts with other women and puts my mother down no matter where we are. In front of his friends he only calls her 'that stupid wench.' I love my mother. That's another thing I would NEVER mention to anyone. "Ooh Draco! Mummy's boy!" That would be Weasley. I guess he's not that bad, but a mans got to keep up his appearances you know? My father hates the Weasly's and it would be more than strange if I tried to be his mate. The hate I have for Harry Potter is totally different. It's not really hate I guess. I just can't control myself around him. I find myself in the middle of potions class staring at him, wondering what it would be like to touch his hair, or stroke his chin, and in a way that makes me really angry. One because I can't actually do that to him and two, because its just not right! I mean. I'm no poof. Not like that bloody watzizface, Lockhart. I like girls! The way they move, their bodies, the little expressions on their faces. Granger's a good example. She'd be bloody gorgeous if she did something with herself, but everything I tend to see in girls, I see in Potter. Like the way he laughs when Weasly makes a joke, or the worried expression he gets when he's concentrating. (He bites his lower lip on the corner if he's really stuck.) And sometimes I dream about him. That's the worst. Nothing dirty actually. But just...oh I don't know, normal. As if I was dreaming about an alternate reality where everything is perfect, my family is normal and we are mates. Its sappy and stupid and so Nancy-boy-like it makes me want to be physically sick. Sometimes I fell like beating myself up. It's not right, its disgusting and I should not be thinking these kind of perverted things.







I wonder if he dreams of me?

-Fin-