Here's part four for you. Comments would be very welcome. I need to know
what u all think about this, so I know if where I'm taking it is the right
way. Thanks.
1.1.1.1
1.1.1.2
1.1.1.3 PART FOUR – Cosmic Collision.
Murdock must have been standing there quite a while because the next thing he knew Dr. Richter was standing in front of him.
"Murdock? Murdock, can you hear me?"
Murdock looked up at him. Then looked around. He was sitting down on a seat by the lift and an orderly was standing by Dr. Richter.
"What?"
"Are you okay? You zoned out again for a while."
Murdock looked down thinking, then back up at his Doctor.
"I guess I'm just tired, that's all. Fell asleep standing up!"
He made a joke out of it. Richter wasn't falling for any of it.
"Come on, lets get you back to your room. We can have a chat there."
Murdock merely nodded and stood up. Dr. Richter followed him back to his room.
*******************
Kate numbly walked out of the lift, down the corridor and out into the car park. She got in her car...and just sat there. God, he looked so good...smelt so good...felt so good...Her legs had turned to jelly the moment she had looked deep into his soul.
She caught herself day dreaming and jerked herself out of it. She couldn't go down that line. She had to think...what was she to do now? She looked at her watch and suddenly realised how late she was. She'd have to figure it out later, right now she had to get home before Steve, her work partner, wondered where she was. She fumbled the key into the ignition. She couldn't stop shaking with the adrenaline rush of seeing him and she took a couple of breaths to calm herself before she turned the engine on.
It took her ten minutes to get home. His car wasn't outside yet and she sighed with relief. She wouldn't have to answer those awkward questions like 'where have you been?' She pulled up into her drive, got out and headed for the front door. Opening it she suddenly felt a presence. Different to the one she'd had all day. This one put all of her systems on alert.
Someone was in the house.
She pulled her gun out of her bag, which she placed on the floor quietly. She then proceeded to carefully, without sound, move slowly down the corridor. It was coming from the kitchen. She reached the door and carefully pushed it open – quite quickly because she knew if it moved slowly then it creaked. There was a man standing by the table with his back to her. He obviously hadn't heard her. She silently walked up behind him and placed the gun to his back.
"Don't move."
She saw him tense. After a moment he spoke.
"I see you haven't lost your touch."
Kate relaxed. It was Steve. She lowered the gun and he turned around.
"Jesus, Steve, What do you think you were doing, breaking into my house like that?"
"I didn't break in. I found your spare key. You'll really have to find somewhere else to hide it, it was too easy."
She snatched the key that he was jangling infront of her.
"And anyway, what were you doing out? You know you should be resting."
"I went out for a drive, that's all. Needed some fresh air."
Steve would have believed her if he hadn't seen the paperwork on the table.
"Really? So, your trip didn't have anything to do with all of these notes you left carelessly on the table?"
And he stepped aside so she could see all of her work. She sighed and looked down. She placed the gun on the table, then headed over to the kettle to turn it on.
"Kate? Talk to me. I'm worried about you. I finally think you're getting over this obsession, then I find all this."
He gestured to the paperwork.
"You know I just can't let this go. I found some leads. We were right, you know. We had to be right. Why would they shoot us?"
"Shoot you, Kate. I wasn't there remember? I was sitting outside in the car."
He looked upset about that.
"Steve, we've talked about this. It wasn't your fault. It was just routine questioning we didn't need any back up – I could've handled it if they hadn't known we were coming...And the only way they could have known that...is if they were there when we were talking about it."
"What; you saying that they've got someone on the inside? Don't be stupid Kate, we know everyone there."
"Yeah, I know."
She said sounding fed up.
"Come on, Kate. Why don't you let this go. I miss you at work, it's no fun."
She gave him a small smile, but kept on talking, that hint of anger and frustration in her voice.
"Well, the way things are going, I will be coming back. I've researched all the leads we had and they've all been dead ends. Coincidence? I've got one more lead. That's where I was today, and that will be a dead end as well. I'm telling you, someone knows and they're covering their tracks – very well."
"Maybe it's for the best."
"Maybe..."
She looked a bit annoyed and upset that she was going to have to give it up. Steve knew she hated to give up – to leave it unfinished. He hated that feeling as well. He thought for a moment.
"Look; if I help you with this lead, and it's a dead end, will you give it up?"
"What if it gives us a bigger lead?"
"Then, we'll deal with it if it does. But if what you said is true, then what are the chances?"
"Slim to none…okay...I'll stop."
Impulsively he hugged her. She smiled and returned the hug.
"It'll be good to have you back. I've missed you."
"I don't deserve you."
"I know."
He said matter of fact, then laughed and she half-heartedly hit him, laughing too.
"So, what's this lead?"
She suddenly remembered about the VA...Murdock...
"Kate?"
She snapped out of the trance and looked up at him. She had a sad look in her eyes and Steve got worried.
"Kate, what is it? Kate, you're worrying me now, what's wrong?"
"He saw me. He looked right down into me."
She said staring ahead in disbelief.
"Who? Let's just sit you down a moment."
He lead her to the nearest chair and she sat down.
"I forgot about it for a moment there. Seeing you took my mind off of it."
"Off of what?"
"This lead...?"
"Yeah?"
"He's a psych patient at the VA."
"Where...'you know who' is?"
Steve knew all about Murdock. Him and Kate had been friends since she'd joined the force – just over 10 years ago. She could never keep anything from him. He knew her better than he knew anyone else. She was so good at hiding her feelings, but he could always see them, he'd told her that it was a gift. It had been about a year after they'd met that he'd found out about Murdock. They were suppose to go to the VA to see a doctor but she had refused to go in. He'd gone in instead and covered for her. But after she had confided in him and told him everything.
"Yeah...I could feel him...it was so strong...I hadn't meant for him to see me yet. I needed some time to work out what to say to him. I knew he could sense me. We always could, so I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I had to talk to him. But...as I was leaving...I was in the lift and it stopped on the first floor...and when the doors opened...he was just standing there...God, he looked so good...but I could see it in his eyes...he looked so shocked – it must have been a shock – he thinks I'm dead and then to suddenly see me standing there..."
"What did you do?"
"...I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything. Then before I knew it the doors were closing again to go down to my floor. I couldn't say anything, I tried, nothing would come out."
He sat and watched her for a moment. He could tell that the meeting had both excited and saddened her. Finally, after 14 years, she could see the man she loved, but she was sad because she knew that even if she did talk to him, did see him again, they wouldn't be able to go back to what they had. Steve envied her slightly for the connection she and this Murdock had. Ever since he'd met her he'd always loved her. But it was unrequited.
"Kate, I know you better than I know myself. Go and see him. Talk to him. If you leave this you'll regret it. If this Murdock is who you say he is – the mysterious fourth member of the A-Team, then I have a feeling he probably knows you're still alive and that it was a cover. Put him out of his misery. And yours."
"He knows it's me...he knows I'm alive. Only he could make me feel how I've felt all day...and he knows that feeling he's had could only be me. I can't explain it...it's like...like we're soul mates. We have some sort of star-crossed existence. It sounds crazy I know."
"No, it doesn't. Because that's how you make me feel. Whenever I'm with you, you enchant me. I've always loved you."
He looked down.
"I know you could never feel the same, but you are 'my' soul mate...and I'd know what it would feel like if I lost my best friend. So, go to him. Don't let him feel the way I feel about you...and I still see you every day."
Kate looked at him. It was the first time he had admitted his true feelings for her. Subconsciously she'd always known he'd loved her. But she never wanted to lose the friendship.
"I love you too, Steve. But not like that. I love you like a brother, my best friend. But I love Murdock. I've always loved him...it would have been unfair on you if we'd gotten together because my heart would have always belonged to someone else."
"I know that. That's why you have to go to him. And that's an order. Go."
Kate kissed him on the lips and pulled back, holding his face.
"I really don't deserve you. Thank you for being here for me."
"Yeah, well, go. Before you talk yourself out of it. Go and be happy."
She gave him a fierce hug, jumped up, grabbing her gun and running out she grabbed her bag from the hall. She jumped into her car, gave him a wave and pulled out and drove off down the road. Steve leaned against the porch and sighed. Jean Zheng's statement was so right.
*'You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness.' Go and be happy, Kate.*
1.1.1.4 **************************
Dr. Richter couldn't get through to Murdock. Something had really affected him and he wouldn't tell him. Richter spent nearly an hour trying to get him to talk and Murdock just kept sticking to his 'must be tired' story. In the end Dr. Richter had to give up and he left Murdock alone to sort it out himself, but he'd told him that if he needed to talk then he knew where his office was.
**************************
Kate wandered down the corridors, the many doors to her left and right becoming a blur. She'd driven round for about half an hour trying to work out what to say to him and finally she felt she had a reasonable speech prepared.
She stopped outside one door, and for a moment didn't think she'd dare to enter. Then she heard Steve in her head.
"Go and be happy, Kate."
She knew that she had to.
She looked through the small window at who was inside. He was sitting with his back to her, looking out the window. She knew that he could sense her. He was sitting upright, military style in the chair that was at the end of his bed. The slight saddened humming she could hear was too heartbreaking as she opened the door. At first he didn't turn, just kept humming. Then, if possible, he froze and stiffened even more, and moved his head slightly. They hadn't been this close since 'Nam...and the connection felt so strong that she felt that it was controlling her...that she couldn't control it.
She reached him, and ran her fingers along the folds of the worn jacket she knew so well, and feared that this was just a dream. That she could wake up at any moment and she would be crying from the pain. His head moved a bit more.
"Don't turn around. Not yet...please."
She begged quietly. Her speech forgotten she just continued to feel the jacket and then she sat down next to him on the edge of the bed feeling down the sleeve. She could smell the leather, the musky smell of Murdock which was making her head reel in it's familiarity.
"Don't."
Murdock said, his voice strained with emotion.
"Please don't. No more, not again. You're gone."
The voice struck Kate's heart with it's sadness, and she drew a deep breath as she turned the pilot gently by the shoulders and looked into his eyes. She felt her pulse quicken as she looked deep into the brown wells.
Then, she reached up and gently brushed her hand down his face making him close his eyes – the way they always had to each other as a sign of their affection, fascinated by the complete familiarity of the pilot, and his eyes as he opened them and they were glazed with tears and were as bright as crystal as he gazed at her, as if this were a dream he would wake up from.
"I told you I would always love you."
Kate said, overwhelmed with emotion as she brushed his face with her fingertips again, starting at his forehead and running down past his nose and over his lips to his chin. He was just as handsome as she always remembered.
After a moment he seemed to come out of his shocked trance and react to her. His eyes opened wide and after a moment he raised his own hand and brushed it down her face.
"Kate...?"
He whispered. And then, so very gently, he embraced her, one hand going around her back to pull her closer, the other running through her hair – just as soft and thick as he remembered. He took in a deep breath of her scent and his own head started to reel with the old feelings returning abruptly and with no warning. Then, suddenly desperate to see her face again, to make sure it was really her, he pulled away and looked into her eyes, the understanding silence filled the room as he watched tears run down her cheeks.
"Kate...it is you."
He caressed her cheek, wiping away the tears. Kate lifted her hands and held Murdock's face, his shattered expression in her hands and she looked down deep into his eyes. Then she leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. Murdock responded, his lips desperate, pulling Kate closer to him. The kiss overpowered them both, drawing them closer, their hearts locked together in this powerful embrace. The stars finally straightening out and meeting.
Then he grabbed at her jacket and pulled her in, hugging her tighter, not ever wanting to let her go. She ran her hands through his hair and then brought her hand down and rested it on the base of his neck. She lifted her head slightly, so that their cheeks were touching and she took in another deep breath – taking in every inch of him.
"I've missed you so much."
She whispered.
"I've always loved you...always."
He whispered back.
1.1.1.1
1.1.1.2
1.1.1.3 PART FOUR – Cosmic Collision.
Murdock must have been standing there quite a while because the next thing he knew Dr. Richter was standing in front of him.
"Murdock? Murdock, can you hear me?"
Murdock looked up at him. Then looked around. He was sitting down on a seat by the lift and an orderly was standing by Dr. Richter.
"What?"
"Are you okay? You zoned out again for a while."
Murdock looked down thinking, then back up at his Doctor.
"I guess I'm just tired, that's all. Fell asleep standing up!"
He made a joke out of it. Richter wasn't falling for any of it.
"Come on, lets get you back to your room. We can have a chat there."
Murdock merely nodded and stood up. Dr. Richter followed him back to his room.
*******************
Kate numbly walked out of the lift, down the corridor and out into the car park. She got in her car...and just sat there. God, he looked so good...smelt so good...felt so good...Her legs had turned to jelly the moment she had looked deep into his soul.
She caught herself day dreaming and jerked herself out of it. She couldn't go down that line. She had to think...what was she to do now? She looked at her watch and suddenly realised how late she was. She'd have to figure it out later, right now she had to get home before Steve, her work partner, wondered where she was. She fumbled the key into the ignition. She couldn't stop shaking with the adrenaline rush of seeing him and she took a couple of breaths to calm herself before she turned the engine on.
It took her ten minutes to get home. His car wasn't outside yet and she sighed with relief. She wouldn't have to answer those awkward questions like 'where have you been?' She pulled up into her drive, got out and headed for the front door. Opening it she suddenly felt a presence. Different to the one she'd had all day. This one put all of her systems on alert.
Someone was in the house.
She pulled her gun out of her bag, which she placed on the floor quietly. She then proceeded to carefully, without sound, move slowly down the corridor. It was coming from the kitchen. She reached the door and carefully pushed it open – quite quickly because she knew if it moved slowly then it creaked. There was a man standing by the table with his back to her. He obviously hadn't heard her. She silently walked up behind him and placed the gun to his back.
"Don't move."
She saw him tense. After a moment he spoke.
"I see you haven't lost your touch."
Kate relaxed. It was Steve. She lowered the gun and he turned around.
"Jesus, Steve, What do you think you were doing, breaking into my house like that?"
"I didn't break in. I found your spare key. You'll really have to find somewhere else to hide it, it was too easy."
She snatched the key that he was jangling infront of her.
"And anyway, what were you doing out? You know you should be resting."
"I went out for a drive, that's all. Needed some fresh air."
Steve would have believed her if he hadn't seen the paperwork on the table.
"Really? So, your trip didn't have anything to do with all of these notes you left carelessly on the table?"
And he stepped aside so she could see all of her work. She sighed and looked down. She placed the gun on the table, then headed over to the kettle to turn it on.
"Kate? Talk to me. I'm worried about you. I finally think you're getting over this obsession, then I find all this."
He gestured to the paperwork.
"You know I just can't let this go. I found some leads. We were right, you know. We had to be right. Why would they shoot us?"
"Shoot you, Kate. I wasn't there remember? I was sitting outside in the car."
He looked upset about that.
"Steve, we've talked about this. It wasn't your fault. It was just routine questioning we didn't need any back up – I could've handled it if they hadn't known we were coming...And the only way they could have known that...is if they were there when we were talking about it."
"What; you saying that they've got someone on the inside? Don't be stupid Kate, we know everyone there."
"Yeah, I know."
She said sounding fed up.
"Come on, Kate. Why don't you let this go. I miss you at work, it's no fun."
She gave him a small smile, but kept on talking, that hint of anger and frustration in her voice.
"Well, the way things are going, I will be coming back. I've researched all the leads we had and they've all been dead ends. Coincidence? I've got one more lead. That's where I was today, and that will be a dead end as well. I'm telling you, someone knows and they're covering their tracks – very well."
"Maybe it's for the best."
"Maybe..."
She looked a bit annoyed and upset that she was going to have to give it up. Steve knew she hated to give up – to leave it unfinished. He hated that feeling as well. He thought for a moment.
"Look; if I help you with this lead, and it's a dead end, will you give it up?"
"What if it gives us a bigger lead?"
"Then, we'll deal with it if it does. But if what you said is true, then what are the chances?"
"Slim to none…okay...I'll stop."
Impulsively he hugged her. She smiled and returned the hug.
"It'll be good to have you back. I've missed you."
"I don't deserve you."
"I know."
He said matter of fact, then laughed and she half-heartedly hit him, laughing too.
"So, what's this lead?"
She suddenly remembered about the VA...Murdock...
"Kate?"
She snapped out of the trance and looked up at him. She had a sad look in her eyes and Steve got worried.
"Kate, what is it? Kate, you're worrying me now, what's wrong?"
"He saw me. He looked right down into me."
She said staring ahead in disbelief.
"Who? Let's just sit you down a moment."
He lead her to the nearest chair and she sat down.
"I forgot about it for a moment there. Seeing you took my mind off of it."
"Off of what?"
"This lead...?"
"Yeah?"
"He's a psych patient at the VA."
"Where...'you know who' is?"
Steve knew all about Murdock. Him and Kate had been friends since she'd joined the force – just over 10 years ago. She could never keep anything from him. He knew her better than he knew anyone else. She was so good at hiding her feelings, but he could always see them, he'd told her that it was a gift. It had been about a year after they'd met that he'd found out about Murdock. They were suppose to go to the VA to see a doctor but she had refused to go in. He'd gone in instead and covered for her. But after she had confided in him and told him everything.
"Yeah...I could feel him...it was so strong...I hadn't meant for him to see me yet. I needed some time to work out what to say to him. I knew he could sense me. We always could, so I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I had to talk to him. But...as I was leaving...I was in the lift and it stopped on the first floor...and when the doors opened...he was just standing there...God, he looked so good...but I could see it in his eyes...he looked so shocked – it must have been a shock – he thinks I'm dead and then to suddenly see me standing there..."
"What did you do?"
"...I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything. Then before I knew it the doors were closing again to go down to my floor. I couldn't say anything, I tried, nothing would come out."
He sat and watched her for a moment. He could tell that the meeting had both excited and saddened her. Finally, after 14 years, she could see the man she loved, but she was sad because she knew that even if she did talk to him, did see him again, they wouldn't be able to go back to what they had. Steve envied her slightly for the connection she and this Murdock had. Ever since he'd met her he'd always loved her. But it was unrequited.
"Kate, I know you better than I know myself. Go and see him. Talk to him. If you leave this you'll regret it. If this Murdock is who you say he is – the mysterious fourth member of the A-Team, then I have a feeling he probably knows you're still alive and that it was a cover. Put him out of his misery. And yours."
"He knows it's me...he knows I'm alive. Only he could make me feel how I've felt all day...and he knows that feeling he's had could only be me. I can't explain it...it's like...like we're soul mates. We have some sort of star-crossed existence. It sounds crazy I know."
"No, it doesn't. Because that's how you make me feel. Whenever I'm with you, you enchant me. I've always loved you."
He looked down.
"I know you could never feel the same, but you are 'my' soul mate...and I'd know what it would feel like if I lost my best friend. So, go to him. Don't let him feel the way I feel about you...and I still see you every day."
Kate looked at him. It was the first time he had admitted his true feelings for her. Subconsciously she'd always known he'd loved her. But she never wanted to lose the friendship.
"I love you too, Steve. But not like that. I love you like a brother, my best friend. But I love Murdock. I've always loved him...it would have been unfair on you if we'd gotten together because my heart would have always belonged to someone else."
"I know that. That's why you have to go to him. And that's an order. Go."
Kate kissed him on the lips and pulled back, holding his face.
"I really don't deserve you. Thank you for being here for me."
"Yeah, well, go. Before you talk yourself out of it. Go and be happy."
She gave him a fierce hug, jumped up, grabbing her gun and running out she grabbed her bag from the hall. She jumped into her car, gave him a wave and pulled out and drove off down the road. Steve leaned against the porch and sighed. Jean Zheng's statement was so right.
*'You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness.' Go and be happy, Kate.*
1.1.1.4 **************************
Dr. Richter couldn't get through to Murdock. Something had really affected him and he wouldn't tell him. Richter spent nearly an hour trying to get him to talk and Murdock just kept sticking to his 'must be tired' story. In the end Dr. Richter had to give up and he left Murdock alone to sort it out himself, but he'd told him that if he needed to talk then he knew where his office was.
**************************
Kate wandered down the corridors, the many doors to her left and right becoming a blur. She'd driven round for about half an hour trying to work out what to say to him and finally she felt she had a reasonable speech prepared.
She stopped outside one door, and for a moment didn't think she'd dare to enter. Then she heard Steve in her head.
"Go and be happy, Kate."
She knew that she had to.
She looked through the small window at who was inside. He was sitting with his back to her, looking out the window. She knew that he could sense her. He was sitting upright, military style in the chair that was at the end of his bed. The slight saddened humming she could hear was too heartbreaking as she opened the door. At first he didn't turn, just kept humming. Then, if possible, he froze and stiffened even more, and moved his head slightly. They hadn't been this close since 'Nam...and the connection felt so strong that she felt that it was controlling her...that she couldn't control it.
She reached him, and ran her fingers along the folds of the worn jacket she knew so well, and feared that this was just a dream. That she could wake up at any moment and she would be crying from the pain. His head moved a bit more.
"Don't turn around. Not yet...please."
She begged quietly. Her speech forgotten she just continued to feel the jacket and then she sat down next to him on the edge of the bed feeling down the sleeve. She could smell the leather, the musky smell of Murdock which was making her head reel in it's familiarity.
"Don't."
Murdock said, his voice strained with emotion.
"Please don't. No more, not again. You're gone."
The voice struck Kate's heart with it's sadness, and she drew a deep breath as she turned the pilot gently by the shoulders and looked into his eyes. She felt her pulse quicken as she looked deep into the brown wells.
Then, she reached up and gently brushed her hand down his face making him close his eyes – the way they always had to each other as a sign of their affection, fascinated by the complete familiarity of the pilot, and his eyes as he opened them and they were glazed with tears and were as bright as crystal as he gazed at her, as if this were a dream he would wake up from.
"I told you I would always love you."
Kate said, overwhelmed with emotion as she brushed his face with her fingertips again, starting at his forehead and running down past his nose and over his lips to his chin. He was just as handsome as she always remembered.
After a moment he seemed to come out of his shocked trance and react to her. His eyes opened wide and after a moment he raised his own hand and brushed it down her face.
"Kate...?"
He whispered. And then, so very gently, he embraced her, one hand going around her back to pull her closer, the other running through her hair – just as soft and thick as he remembered. He took in a deep breath of her scent and his own head started to reel with the old feelings returning abruptly and with no warning. Then, suddenly desperate to see her face again, to make sure it was really her, he pulled away and looked into her eyes, the understanding silence filled the room as he watched tears run down her cheeks.
"Kate...it is you."
He caressed her cheek, wiping away the tears. Kate lifted her hands and held Murdock's face, his shattered expression in her hands and she looked down deep into his eyes. Then she leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. Murdock responded, his lips desperate, pulling Kate closer to him. The kiss overpowered them both, drawing them closer, their hearts locked together in this powerful embrace. The stars finally straightening out and meeting.
Then he grabbed at her jacket and pulled her in, hugging her tighter, not ever wanting to let her go. She ran her hands through his hair and then brought her hand down and rested it on the base of his neck. She lifted her head slightly, so that their cheeks were touching and she took in another deep breath – taking in every inch of him.
"I've missed you so much."
She whispered.
"I've always loved you...always."
He whispered back.