1.1.1.1 Here's part five, slightly longer than the others...actually quite
a bit longer than the others! Enjoy and please R&R.
1.1.1.2
PART FIVE â€" The Things you Choose to be.
He picked up the pay phone outside the VA and dialled in a number, then waited for an answer.
"What is it?"
A gruff voice answered.
"You told me to ring if Donaldson had any visitors."
There was a pause.
"Well?"
The voice said impatiently.
"You were right. She was here. She saw him, now she's with a guy named Murdock, I think they knew each other."
"Thank you. Someone will be round tonight to give you your money."
Then the phone went dead. The man in the white orderly uniform placed the phone back on the hanger and headed back into the VA.
The man on the other end of the line, leaned back in his chair and smiled. She'd never get anything out of Donaldson, he was too screwed up to talk any sense. But just in case he would ring his son and make sure he kept an eye on her at work. He picked up the phone and dialled.
"It's me son. Kawalski's been visiting with Donaldson. Talk with Steve, try and find out if he knows anything but don't get him suspicious. And keep an eye on her when she's there."
"Sure thing, Pap. I won't let you down."
They hung up. The son looked sadly at the phone.
"Why did I ever say I'd help him? "
He said aloud with sadness in his voice. He'd never asked to be involved in anything like this, but with his father being who he was, he really had no choice. Or had he...?
"Help who?"
A voice asked making him jump slightly.
"No-one Steve. How's Kate doing?"
He asked following Steve over to their desks in the office.
********************************
It was quite a while before they'd both got a hold of their emotions. He sat back in his chair and watched her watching him. She was sitting slightly awkwardly on the end of his bed.
"I guess an explanation would be needed."
He didn't say anything for a moment, then he sat forward.
"Kate...I heard you had...had d-died."
He said shakily. Past memories still haunting him.
"Then...you just show up here...I thought I was going crazy...I mean I-I had heard some rumours...that it was a cover up...because you were part of a deep government group, but I never found any evidence â€" which wasn't surprising..."
He seemed to find his voice again, getting over the initial shock.
"How could you let me think you were dead? Kate, I loved you!"
It was obvious that he was trying to control his anger and hurt. This angered Kate herself.
"And I loved you! You were the one who pushed me away, remember?"
"I was going crazy Kate! What was I meant to do! I was trying to protect you!! I couldn't let you see me like that!!!"
He stood up and walked away, trying to keep his emotions in check.
"Protect me?! You hurt me more that I ever thought I could be hurt!!! I would've stood by you no matter what happened!"
"How was I to know that!!! I mean I was losing it!!"
He turned back round, facing her. She stood up.
"I loved you!!! I never thought I could love someone more. Didn't you know that? That's why I could never leave you!!! But when you â€" you said those things i â€" "
Her voice broke. He could see the tears welling up.
"It took everything I had to keep from dying."
She sat back down on the bed looking drawn and pale. The years of emotional pain showing freely along with the last years events. She looked down at the floor. Murdock just stared at her, suddenly realising that she was in just as much pain as he was. For a moment he just stood there...not sure what to do.
"Oh God Kate..."
He whispered. He moved up to her and bent down just infront of her.
"I'm so sorry...I didn't know...I didn't know...I figured that if I tried to make you as mad as possible at me...then you wouldn't care about leaving...Look at me Kate, please."
She had been still staring at the floor.
"Please Kate..."
Finally she lifted her head slightly and looked at him again. Murdock didn't feel comfortable at all. She was doing it again. She was looking inside of his inner self. But he faced her, knowing that he needed to explain honestly.
"I didn't mean to hurt you...I was blind...I couldn't see that I was causing you so much pain...I was just thinking of myself. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Murdock lowered his head, ashamed with himself. Kate's eyes softened, seeing his own pain behind the mask.
"Murdock...I'm sorry too. I should have stayed...I shouldn't have let you get to me. I knew it was the stress but it hurt so much I couldn't see through my own pain. And when I had to fake my death..."
Once again she looked down as Murdock lifted his head. He wanted to know why exactly she had had to fake her death.
"...I wanted so badly to call you...tell you that I was still alive...especially after seeing you at my funeral...it broke my heart...I kept thinking that maybe we could still...but I couldn't. I would have put your life in danger and I didn't want that."
She had looked up again and they were just looking at each other. Then for what seemed like the tenth time that day he took hold of her shoulders and pulled her in. Kate winced just slightly as his hand pressed down on the wound in her shoulder, but she ignored it. Her hands clutched Murdock's jacket tightly, unwilling to let go, her head buried in Murdock's neck. He could feel her heart thumping against his chest and could feel the silent sobs shaking Kate as he continued to hold her close, and then, unable to keep his own emotions in, he cried tears of happiness, relief, joy and every other unexplainable emotion. A silent forgiveness passed between them. He pulled her tightly in to him after he had stopped his tears and he felt her tense up and wince as his arms pressed again her.
Feeling a little confused he pulled her back, but kept hold of her shoulders tightly. He saw the look of discomfort pass over her face as she moved one of his hands from her shoulder, only relaxing once the grip had loosened.
"What is it? What aren't you telling me?"
"It's nothing."
Before she could stop him he had leaned in and pressed her shoulder gently. The sharp bolt of pain that shot across her face was unmistakable and he pulled her jacket and top down slightly. She didn't fight because it only made the pain worse. He stopped when he saw the bandage covering her shoulder.
"Nothing?"
He said gently.
"Just bullet wounds, that's all."
"Wounds? You mean there's more than one?"
He said sounding astonished. He looked her up and down, then pulled her top out of her jeans, immediately seeing the second bandage wrapped around her mid section.
"What happened? Tell me."
She shrugged.
"Not much to tell. I was involved in a botched job and I got shot...but that's old news...it was nearly a year ago."
"So what's with the bandages? Kate, if it was a year ago then they should have healed by now, even I know that."
"So I didn't take the recommended recovery period â€" I had to get back â€" I had to find out who it was that shot me! That's why I'm here. I had to see one of the other patients. He was my only lead."
Murdock looked stunned. He'd seen something that he never thought he could see in her eyes â€" vengeance...and pure cold hatred.
"Kate...you've never been one for revenge...never."
"People change...I've changed."
She took a breath and decided that she had to tell him.
"I work for...well it's an agency run by the government...highly classified."
"How did you get into that?"
He asked incredulously.
"It started about a year after 'Nam. I had been working at a hospital when an agent was brought in with serious injuries. I was the only one that was told of their situation, mainly because one of the agents knew me from somewhere. I'm not sure where â€" I think maybe he knew my father. Anyway, afterwards they asked if I wanted a job in their forensics department â€" well, I jumped at the chance. Better pay, company apartment and car. And over the years I worked my way up to where I am today."
"From where I am, that doesn't look like a very good place. Look at you. You're exhausted, pale, so determined for revenge that you haven't even given yourself enough time to heal."
Kate suddenly jumped up.
"Well â€" what would you know?! Huh?!" She paced away from him, then turned around. "Spending night after night living the same nightmare...wondering through a warehouse in the dark to suddenly be standing infront of a door, that when it opens, floods the whole area in such a bright light that you can't see anything! And then to suddenly see the silhouette of a man." She was staring into space as if he were standing right infront of her â€" the memories plaguing her. "You never see his face...all you see is the gleam of the metal. And the only sound is him laughing at you, until the bangs echoing around drown it out...And the pain..."
She closed her eyes for a moment lost in the torment, then she opens them again.
"The pain never goes away. And it won't until I can find who it was that tried to kill me...and show them what it's like to hurt 'like that'...to wake up every night to your own screams...Oh God â€" Oh God-"
Her hands reached up to her face. Murdock moved quickly over to her and gently pulled her towards him suddenly understanding why she hadn't recovered properly after a whole year. She leaned into him and sobbed into his shirt. He held her and shushed her, rocking her gently back and forth like he used to when she had the other nightmares. Nightmares about the night her parents were killed. Murdock knew she couldn't remember what happened that night, she was only seven. But it still came back to her in her dreams â€" images, sounds, feelings.
*************************************
The van pulled up to the entrance of the block of apartments that was there temporary home.
"Ah, home at last."
Face said, sounding exhausted. The three of them got out of the van and headed for the entrance. Hannibal pulled out a cigar and, biting the end off, he spat it onto the ground.
"I've got to admit, that plan worked out rather well I thought."
"Plan?!" Face answered perplexed. "Hannibal, that was not a plan, that was a complete farce! Piece of cake you told us, gonna go down smooth, Face. Just a couple of goons with toy guns who fancy themselves as pirates, Face. Yeah, in and out, 1, 2, 3, with the girl and the gold. No muss, no fuss. Huh?"
"Right." Hannibal smiled as they entered the lift to their floor.
"Right. Well, we lost our wheels for a while, BA did 20 rounds with Godzilla, you had to walk the plank and were nearly drowned, and a very big and I might say, I lost some ribs and I think my nose is busted. Now, does that sound like a plan that worked well?" Face whined.
"Come on, Lieutenant. We still managed to save the girl, the house 'and' retrieve the gold."
The lift doors opened and Face pulled his key out.
"Yeah well, from now on, Hannibal, Murdock comes with us."
"Not dat fool!"
"Now BA, I know he gets on your nerves, but you've got to admit if he'd been there then we wouldn't have gotten into that much mess, for a start the numbers would have been a bit more equal. 3 against 7 is not my idea of a fun time."
BA turned to Hannibal.
"He's right, Hannibal. The fool's coming with us next time â€" but no flying, or you're a dead man!"
They entered the apartment.
"Fine BA. Next time Murdock comes. But I still think the plan worked well."
Face grabbed a pillow and threw it at the Colonel, who darted out of the way just in time, smiling.
"Your plans never work well, Hannibal. They just work. I bet Murdock's been having the time of his life while we've been away."
*************************************
They were sitting on the bed by this time. She'd managed to control her emotions.
"Sorry. Don't know what came over me."
"Don't be. I'm sorry, I should have known. Feeling better?"
"You know...yeah. I don't think I've ever gotten over that day. I just kept on going, to ease the pain. I never...never..."
"Let it out?"
She nodded and smiled at him.
"You always knew how to get me to open up, the amount of times you kept pushing and pushing until I went over the edge. It always amazed me how you did it, you were the only person who could get me that angry." She stopped and just stared at him. "Murdock, what are you still doing in here?"
He looked down.
"It's a long story."
"I've got time."
He looked up at her.
"Well..."
The door suddenly opened and they both looked up. Dr. Richter was standing in the doorway.
"Kate, what are you doing in here?"
He seemed surprised to see her.
"Oh hey Doc," Murdock butted in before she could say anything. "She's an old friend from 'Nam. Why didn't you tell me she was going to be here today?"
"I didn't know that you knew each other. Kate, could I have a word with you, please? About Donaldson?"
"Sure."
She turned to Murdock.
"I'll be back in a minute."
She said and walked out of the door.
"What is it, Adam?"
"How do you know Murdock?"
She'd been waiting for a question like that.
"From 'Nam. Don't you remember me telling you that I did a couple of tours over there? Well, the Captain was a patient of mine. Plus the amount of times I saw him flying patients in and out, I got to know him quite well."
"How did you know he was here, anyway?"
Kate took a breath ready to lie to him.
"I didn't until I bumped into him in the corridor. So, I decided to sit and have a chat. I felt a bit guilty actually, I'd noticed in my last tour that the stress seemed to be getting to him, but he managed to hide it. It wasn't until after I'd gone that he cracked. I felt that maybe if I'd have mentioned it, then maybe he wouldn't be here now." Adam nodded. "How is he doing anyway?"
"He has his good days, his bad days. Maybe if he didn't keep breaking out and disappearing for ages then we'd get somewhere."
"Breaking out?"
She asked as if she didn't know.
"Yeah, he likes doing that. But he always comes back. Anyway, actually you may have helped me out a bit here."
"Why?"
"Well, I'd just been looking for you, figured you'd gone home. Luckily I came to check on Murdock here, he wasn't doing too good earlier. Anyway, I'm going out of town for a week or so, personal matter. I was going to ask you if you could take over caring for Donaldson but as you know Murdock maybe you could take over his care as well?"
"Sure, no problem. I did owe you."
"Thanks, Kate, you're a life saver!"
He gave her a hug and left her to it. She walked back into Murdock's room and found him sitting quietly on the bed.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Dr. Richter's going away for a week or so, he asked me to take over caring for a couple of his patients, including you."
"Really?!"
"Yes, so...we'll have plenty of time to talk."
She said seriously. He nodded and was about to say something when he heard a beeping.
"What's that?"
He asked.
"Just my beeper." She said taking it out of her pocket. "Damn," she looked up. "I've got to go. Work."
Murdock nodded.
"Sure thing." He got up and gave her a hug. "It's good to finally see you again. I really have missed you."
"I've missed you too. Haven't stopped thinking about you."
She said, pulling away. He hesitated about kissing her, and ended up just giving her a peck on the cheek.
"See you tomorrow."
She nodded and left.
Once outside she took a deep breath. That goodbye had felt awkward. She knew that it was going to take some time before they could get over the past decade without each other. And she knew now that they'd never go back to what they used to have. But this was a start and she felt so much better for finally seeing him, it would be so nice to have him as a friend even if she couldn't have him how she wanted him again. She reached reception and switched her mind back to her work. Her partner had beeped her for some reason. She went up to the desk and asked if she could borrow the phone. Picking it up she rang Steve's mobile.
"Hello?"
"Steve, what you beep me for?"
"Sorry, urgent. Boss wants to see us. I'm on my way there now. Meet you there?"
"Sure. See you soon."
And they hung up. She marched back to her car, jumped in and headed for work.
*************************************
"You know what, Hannibal? I think we deserve a vacation."
Face said, lowering his paper. Hannibal glanced over at him. The three of them were lounging in the living room of their apartment. They'd been back for only a few hours and Face was already restless.
"You know something, Lieutenant? I think you're absolutely right. We do deserve a vacation. What d'ya say BA?"
"Sounds great to me â€" but no flying!"
"No BA no flying." Hannibal turned back to Face. "Any ideas?"
"How about Crystal Lake, it'll be almost deserted now that summer's coming to an end. But it's still warm enough to be outdoors. "
"Aw man not Crystal Lake!"
"Why not? I mean, yeah things went a little bad last time but what are the chances of it happening again. Huh? I could break Murdock out in a few days and we could be at the lake by the end of the week. I don't think Decker will ever suspect us to go there again, and plus the only reason he knew we were there was because that pretty sheriff called him. She's not likely to do that again, now that she owes us."
"He has a point BA. We could grab some supplies and stay up there for a week or two. It'll give you time to work on the van â€" you know sort out those dents and bullet holes."
"Fine Hannibal. But don't say I didn't warn you if anything goes wrong."
"Right then, it's decided. Thursday, Face, you break Murdock out, and we'll get some supplies. Then we'll be off for a well deserved vacation."
Face smiled at the plan. He was looking forward to spending some time relaxing, plus he would be able to take the pretty sheriff out for dinner like he'd said. He also knew that Murdock would like it. He knew this week was hard for Murdock and he thought it would be a good idea for him to get out.
*************************************
It was only fifteen minutes down the road. She reached it to find Steve waiting outside for her.
"Any idea what this is about?"
She asked him.
"Your guess is as good as mine."
And with that they headed into the building. Heading for a bare door with no handle, Steve inserted a card into a slit half-way down and the door swung inwards. They walked down a long bare corridor and up to a wall, where behind the wall a woman scanned them for weapons with an x-ray device. Steve looked up at the camera.
"Afternoon Janice."
The door in the wall opened and they both stepped through.
"Please identify yourself to the scanner."
They moved to the side wall where there was a device that scanned their retina's and fingerprints and gave their name and number. The computer beeped and said 'identity confirmed' and they both walked past the desk and into the lift. They got out two floors down where their agency was situated. Their boss' office was at the far end and they headed over. It had glass walls and they could see that their other colleagues were already sitting down the main desk. Their bosses chair at the end was empty. They went in and sat down in the two of the four remaining seats.
"Hey Kate, how's things?"
Martin asked. She'd been away for two weeks.
"Things are fine. Feels good to be back. I've missed this place."
"You've got to be kidding me?!" Nikki said incredulously. "This place? It's been so quiet in here that you could have heard a pin drop. You really haven't missed much at all."
"Glad to hear it. What are we all here for anyway? And where's Danny and Mike? Late again?"
"They're on assignment in New York."
Josh, Danny's close friend answered. At that moment their boss entered through the door from his main office and sat down in his seat. He looked worn out and obviously had bad news.
"What is it, Captain?"
Nikki asked. Captain Peterson glanced at everyone around the table, nodding slightly at Kate in acknowledgement.
"We received word this morning from our offices in New York. Daniel Scott and Michael Yorke were killed this morning."
A stunned silence washed over everyone in the room. Josh closed his eyes and dropped his head. Martin sat stunned staring at his boss, as did Nikki and Colin, while Kate stared off into space, mouth open, unable to take it in. Danny and Mike had been good friends of hers, she'd known them since her father was in the force. Steve put his hand on her shoulder in comfort, unable to believe the news either. He was the first to speak.
"What happened?"
He demanded.
"The reports are unclear. They're saying that someone broke into both of their apartments and ransacked the place before killing them."
"What were they looking for?"
Martin said.
"We not sure."
"What was their assignment?"
Kate asked, finally finding her voice. Captain Peterson looked up at her.
"They were following a lead on the Murphy case, that they'd got from Simon."
Kate stared at him, unable to reply. The Murphy case was what her and Steve had been working on before she had been shot. She had been going to see Simon, the guy with connections that would talk to her as long as she brought food, when the incident had occurred.
The Murphy's were two brothers who, as far as they knew, worked with the KGB. They had numerous operations such as a weapons ring and drugs smuggling, that the Murphy's ran, but, Steve and Kate had suspected that this was all just a cover for what they were really doing. Simon was about to tell them the name of a man who the Murphy's worked for that they knew wasn't involved in any of their other work. A man who, Kate knew, had been running many secret operations ever since her father had been in the force.
Danny and Mike had obviously been carrying on the case, while Steve and herself went off at a tangent following the leads to find out who it was that shot her. Kate had figured that whoever it was couldn't have been directly involved with the Murphy's, because Simon hadn't shown. She knew that if they had been working for the Murphy's then Simon would never have caught wind of the plan and he would have been there waiting for her and he would have also been killed. People working for the Murphy's were too good to have their plans found out, and whoever it was had obviously wanted Simon alive to give them his information. She tried to explain this to her boss, but he wouldn't listen. She was told that she was just being paranoid and that Simon wasn't a trustworthy source.
"So, I was right. Whoever it was wants something from us, that's why Simon wasn't killed."
Her boss nodded.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I should have listened to you. You were right."
Everyone went silent for a moment.
"So...what do we do now?"
Josh asked.
"We all have to be very careful from now on. If whoever it is knew that Danny and Mike were agents, that only means one thing. We have a leak in the system, so what I have told you and what I'm going to tell you doesn't go beyond this room, am I understood." Everyone nodded. "Right. As far as everyone else knows the case is being dropped. We are no longer working on it. Martin and Nikki, I want you to go New York. Find out everything you can about what Danny and Mike had found out and see if there's any evidence as to what it was these people thought they were hiding. As far as anyone knows you're just going over to pick up their things and to tie up loose ends. Josh and Colin, I want you to find out everything you can from Simon, see if you can find out what it was these people are looking for, try not to be too conspicuous. Steve, I want you to stay here. Go over all the information we have and see if there's anything we missed. If anyone asks you're just sorting out paperwork, while your partner is away.
"What?!"
Kate half shouted.
"Kate, I want you to stay home, rest. If anything comes up I want you in tip-top condition. Dismissed. Kate, could you stay behind."
Everyone filtered out slowly, still reeling at the news of their friends deaths but used to putting their emotions aside to get on with their assignments. Kate was left sitting on her own. Captain Peterson stood and moved to lean beside her on the table.
"Kate, I want you to carry on with what you're doing. I'll get Steve to come by and pick up the paperwork you have."
Kate looked up at him.
"Carry on with what?"
"Talking to Donaldson." He put his hand up to stop Kate butting in. "Yes, I know that you've been following leads. I know you wouldn't let this go, plus Steve has been keeping me informed."
"Steve..."
She said threateningly.
"Don't blame him, he was just following orders. I have a feeling that if you find who it was that tried to kill you, then you'll be lead straight to the top man. Don't tell anyone what you're doing. Only Steve and I will know."
"Why not the others?"
"Just a hunch."
"You think it's one of them don't you? One of them has been leaking information."
"Now, I didn't say that."
"Of course you didn't."
She smiled in acknowledgement.
"If you have any information then let Steve know. He'll come see you everyday, playing the worried partner. Okay? Oh, and get Steve to show you out, tell him I want to see him."
"Sure."
Her boss nodded and she got up and headed out.
"See you around, Captain."
"Be careful."
She nodded, opened the door and left. Steve was waiting outside, as was Josh and Colin.
"What was all that about?"
Steve asked.
"Nothing much, just trying to cool me down. I feel ready to come back and help but he's adamant that I still need time off to recuperate. It's crazy! I don't need to rest, I feel fine."
"No, I think you look a little pale, maybe it's better that you rest. When we do find the bastards it's gonna mean 24 hours work solid until we catch them. Don't want you collapsing half way."
Josh said.
"He's right."
Colin agreed.
"Fine. Well, I'm off them. No point staying round here. Got better things to do. Like learning how to become a couch potato!"
Her friends laughed.
"Gonna walk me out?"
She asked Steve.
"Why not."
He smiled. Once past the security checks and back in the main reception Kate turned to Steve.
"Boss wants to see you, try and make it inconspicuous."
"What about?"
"You'll find out. See you around."
She said the latter a bit louder for anyone trying to listen to hear. With that she gave him a small hug and turned to leave.
"Don't forget to come visit. Don't want to get lonely."
And with that she left.
************************************
Colin Watson looks across to see where Josh, his partner, is. Spotting him over by the filing cabinet looking busy, Colin picks up his phone and dials.
"What?"
A voice answers.
"It's me Pap. We've just had a meeting with Captain Peterson. Kate turned up as well. He knows about Danny and Mike, but they don't know why they were killed."
"They don't know about the code-key?"
"No. And Danny and Mike didn't have it so that leaves Kate, Steve and Josh. But I don't think it's Kate."
"Son, I know you like Kate, but you know that it's more likely to be her than one of the others. Her father didn't have it on him when I killed him so he must have given it to someone. And Kate's the most likely being his daughter."
"But she was only seven and you did tell me that the trauma of what happened to her parents gave her selective amnesia â€" that she doesn't remember anything â€" maybe she never will. And anyway it could easily have been Josh â€" her fathers partner."
"What about Steve?"
"That's less likely. His father worked with Kate's father and I can't see Steve's father telling him something that important."
"What about the others in your team?"
"What; Martin and Nikki? No, they have no connection to Kate's father at all. I've checked and double checked them. They know nothing. I think if Kate knew about the code-key then she would have told her boss when she heard about Danny and Mike but she didn't say anything."
"Maybe she knows one of you is leaking information?"
"They already know that Pap, but they don't suspect me â€" otherwise I wouldn't still be working on the case."
"Okay, let me think...I'm gonna have to call my boss about this. For now keep a close eye on all of them â€" especially Kate. I have a feeling she knows something, maybe her father did tell her, but she just doesn't remember. If she doesn't remember then we're fine, we've got nothing to worry about...but if she does you have to be ready. And be careful, I don't want you getting found out. Okay son?"
Colin sighed.
"Sure thing Pap." They hung up.
I was looking through my file of favourite quotes last night and I found one I think that fits.
"The course of true love never did run smooth."
20 points to whoever knows what book that's from! It's not too hard.
1.1.1.2
PART FIVE â€" The Things you Choose to be.
He picked up the pay phone outside the VA and dialled in a number, then waited for an answer.
"What is it?"
A gruff voice answered.
"You told me to ring if Donaldson had any visitors."
There was a pause.
"Well?"
The voice said impatiently.
"You were right. She was here. She saw him, now she's with a guy named Murdock, I think they knew each other."
"Thank you. Someone will be round tonight to give you your money."
Then the phone went dead. The man in the white orderly uniform placed the phone back on the hanger and headed back into the VA.
The man on the other end of the line, leaned back in his chair and smiled. She'd never get anything out of Donaldson, he was too screwed up to talk any sense. But just in case he would ring his son and make sure he kept an eye on her at work. He picked up the phone and dialled.
"It's me son. Kawalski's been visiting with Donaldson. Talk with Steve, try and find out if he knows anything but don't get him suspicious. And keep an eye on her when she's there."
"Sure thing, Pap. I won't let you down."
They hung up. The son looked sadly at the phone.
"Why did I ever say I'd help him? "
He said aloud with sadness in his voice. He'd never asked to be involved in anything like this, but with his father being who he was, he really had no choice. Or had he...?
"Help who?"
A voice asked making him jump slightly.
"No-one Steve. How's Kate doing?"
He asked following Steve over to their desks in the office.
********************************
It was quite a while before they'd both got a hold of their emotions. He sat back in his chair and watched her watching him. She was sitting slightly awkwardly on the end of his bed.
"I guess an explanation would be needed."
He didn't say anything for a moment, then he sat forward.
"Kate...I heard you had...had d-died."
He said shakily. Past memories still haunting him.
"Then...you just show up here...I thought I was going crazy...I mean I-I had heard some rumours...that it was a cover up...because you were part of a deep government group, but I never found any evidence â€" which wasn't surprising..."
He seemed to find his voice again, getting over the initial shock.
"How could you let me think you were dead? Kate, I loved you!"
It was obvious that he was trying to control his anger and hurt. This angered Kate herself.
"And I loved you! You were the one who pushed me away, remember?"
"I was going crazy Kate! What was I meant to do! I was trying to protect you!! I couldn't let you see me like that!!!"
He stood up and walked away, trying to keep his emotions in check.
"Protect me?! You hurt me more that I ever thought I could be hurt!!! I would've stood by you no matter what happened!"
"How was I to know that!!! I mean I was losing it!!"
He turned back round, facing her. She stood up.
"I loved you!!! I never thought I could love someone more. Didn't you know that? That's why I could never leave you!!! But when you â€" you said those things i â€" "
Her voice broke. He could see the tears welling up.
"It took everything I had to keep from dying."
She sat back down on the bed looking drawn and pale. The years of emotional pain showing freely along with the last years events. She looked down at the floor. Murdock just stared at her, suddenly realising that she was in just as much pain as he was. For a moment he just stood there...not sure what to do.
"Oh God Kate..."
He whispered. He moved up to her and bent down just infront of her.
"I'm so sorry...I didn't know...I didn't know...I figured that if I tried to make you as mad as possible at me...then you wouldn't care about leaving...Look at me Kate, please."
She had been still staring at the floor.
"Please Kate..."
Finally she lifted her head slightly and looked at him again. Murdock didn't feel comfortable at all. She was doing it again. She was looking inside of his inner self. But he faced her, knowing that he needed to explain honestly.
"I didn't mean to hurt you...I was blind...I couldn't see that I was causing you so much pain...I was just thinking of myself. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Murdock lowered his head, ashamed with himself. Kate's eyes softened, seeing his own pain behind the mask.
"Murdock...I'm sorry too. I should have stayed...I shouldn't have let you get to me. I knew it was the stress but it hurt so much I couldn't see through my own pain. And when I had to fake my death..."
Once again she looked down as Murdock lifted his head. He wanted to know why exactly she had had to fake her death.
"...I wanted so badly to call you...tell you that I was still alive...especially after seeing you at my funeral...it broke my heart...I kept thinking that maybe we could still...but I couldn't. I would have put your life in danger and I didn't want that."
She had looked up again and they were just looking at each other. Then for what seemed like the tenth time that day he took hold of her shoulders and pulled her in. Kate winced just slightly as his hand pressed down on the wound in her shoulder, but she ignored it. Her hands clutched Murdock's jacket tightly, unwilling to let go, her head buried in Murdock's neck. He could feel her heart thumping against his chest and could feel the silent sobs shaking Kate as he continued to hold her close, and then, unable to keep his own emotions in, he cried tears of happiness, relief, joy and every other unexplainable emotion. A silent forgiveness passed between them. He pulled her tightly in to him after he had stopped his tears and he felt her tense up and wince as his arms pressed again her.
Feeling a little confused he pulled her back, but kept hold of her shoulders tightly. He saw the look of discomfort pass over her face as she moved one of his hands from her shoulder, only relaxing once the grip had loosened.
"What is it? What aren't you telling me?"
"It's nothing."
Before she could stop him he had leaned in and pressed her shoulder gently. The sharp bolt of pain that shot across her face was unmistakable and he pulled her jacket and top down slightly. She didn't fight because it only made the pain worse. He stopped when he saw the bandage covering her shoulder.
"Nothing?"
He said gently.
"Just bullet wounds, that's all."
"Wounds? You mean there's more than one?"
He said sounding astonished. He looked her up and down, then pulled her top out of her jeans, immediately seeing the second bandage wrapped around her mid section.
"What happened? Tell me."
She shrugged.
"Not much to tell. I was involved in a botched job and I got shot...but that's old news...it was nearly a year ago."
"So what's with the bandages? Kate, if it was a year ago then they should have healed by now, even I know that."
"So I didn't take the recommended recovery period â€" I had to get back â€" I had to find out who it was that shot me! That's why I'm here. I had to see one of the other patients. He was my only lead."
Murdock looked stunned. He'd seen something that he never thought he could see in her eyes â€" vengeance...and pure cold hatred.
"Kate...you've never been one for revenge...never."
"People change...I've changed."
She took a breath and decided that she had to tell him.
"I work for...well it's an agency run by the government...highly classified."
"How did you get into that?"
He asked incredulously.
"It started about a year after 'Nam. I had been working at a hospital when an agent was brought in with serious injuries. I was the only one that was told of their situation, mainly because one of the agents knew me from somewhere. I'm not sure where â€" I think maybe he knew my father. Anyway, afterwards they asked if I wanted a job in their forensics department â€" well, I jumped at the chance. Better pay, company apartment and car. And over the years I worked my way up to where I am today."
"From where I am, that doesn't look like a very good place. Look at you. You're exhausted, pale, so determined for revenge that you haven't even given yourself enough time to heal."
Kate suddenly jumped up.
"Well â€" what would you know?! Huh?!" She paced away from him, then turned around. "Spending night after night living the same nightmare...wondering through a warehouse in the dark to suddenly be standing infront of a door, that when it opens, floods the whole area in such a bright light that you can't see anything! And then to suddenly see the silhouette of a man." She was staring into space as if he were standing right infront of her â€" the memories plaguing her. "You never see his face...all you see is the gleam of the metal. And the only sound is him laughing at you, until the bangs echoing around drown it out...And the pain..."
She closed her eyes for a moment lost in the torment, then she opens them again.
"The pain never goes away. And it won't until I can find who it was that tried to kill me...and show them what it's like to hurt 'like that'...to wake up every night to your own screams...Oh God â€" Oh God-"
Her hands reached up to her face. Murdock moved quickly over to her and gently pulled her towards him suddenly understanding why she hadn't recovered properly after a whole year. She leaned into him and sobbed into his shirt. He held her and shushed her, rocking her gently back and forth like he used to when she had the other nightmares. Nightmares about the night her parents were killed. Murdock knew she couldn't remember what happened that night, she was only seven. But it still came back to her in her dreams â€" images, sounds, feelings.
*************************************
The van pulled up to the entrance of the block of apartments that was there temporary home.
"Ah, home at last."
Face said, sounding exhausted. The three of them got out of the van and headed for the entrance. Hannibal pulled out a cigar and, biting the end off, he spat it onto the ground.
"I've got to admit, that plan worked out rather well I thought."
"Plan?!" Face answered perplexed. "Hannibal, that was not a plan, that was a complete farce! Piece of cake you told us, gonna go down smooth, Face. Just a couple of goons with toy guns who fancy themselves as pirates, Face. Yeah, in and out, 1, 2, 3, with the girl and the gold. No muss, no fuss. Huh?"
"Right." Hannibal smiled as they entered the lift to their floor.
"Right. Well, we lost our wheels for a while, BA did 20 rounds with Godzilla, you had to walk the plank and were nearly drowned, and a very big and I might say, I lost some ribs and I think my nose is busted. Now, does that sound like a plan that worked well?" Face whined.
"Come on, Lieutenant. We still managed to save the girl, the house 'and' retrieve the gold."
The lift doors opened and Face pulled his key out.
"Yeah well, from now on, Hannibal, Murdock comes with us."
"Not dat fool!"
"Now BA, I know he gets on your nerves, but you've got to admit if he'd been there then we wouldn't have gotten into that much mess, for a start the numbers would have been a bit more equal. 3 against 7 is not my idea of a fun time."
BA turned to Hannibal.
"He's right, Hannibal. The fool's coming with us next time â€" but no flying, or you're a dead man!"
They entered the apartment.
"Fine BA. Next time Murdock comes. But I still think the plan worked well."
Face grabbed a pillow and threw it at the Colonel, who darted out of the way just in time, smiling.
"Your plans never work well, Hannibal. They just work. I bet Murdock's been having the time of his life while we've been away."
*************************************
They were sitting on the bed by this time. She'd managed to control her emotions.
"Sorry. Don't know what came over me."
"Don't be. I'm sorry, I should have known. Feeling better?"
"You know...yeah. I don't think I've ever gotten over that day. I just kept on going, to ease the pain. I never...never..."
"Let it out?"
She nodded and smiled at him.
"You always knew how to get me to open up, the amount of times you kept pushing and pushing until I went over the edge. It always amazed me how you did it, you were the only person who could get me that angry." She stopped and just stared at him. "Murdock, what are you still doing in here?"
He looked down.
"It's a long story."
"I've got time."
He looked up at her.
"Well..."
The door suddenly opened and they both looked up. Dr. Richter was standing in the doorway.
"Kate, what are you doing in here?"
He seemed surprised to see her.
"Oh hey Doc," Murdock butted in before she could say anything. "She's an old friend from 'Nam. Why didn't you tell me she was going to be here today?"
"I didn't know that you knew each other. Kate, could I have a word with you, please? About Donaldson?"
"Sure."
She turned to Murdock.
"I'll be back in a minute."
She said and walked out of the door.
"What is it, Adam?"
"How do you know Murdock?"
She'd been waiting for a question like that.
"From 'Nam. Don't you remember me telling you that I did a couple of tours over there? Well, the Captain was a patient of mine. Plus the amount of times I saw him flying patients in and out, I got to know him quite well."
"How did you know he was here, anyway?"
Kate took a breath ready to lie to him.
"I didn't until I bumped into him in the corridor. So, I decided to sit and have a chat. I felt a bit guilty actually, I'd noticed in my last tour that the stress seemed to be getting to him, but he managed to hide it. It wasn't until after I'd gone that he cracked. I felt that maybe if I'd have mentioned it, then maybe he wouldn't be here now." Adam nodded. "How is he doing anyway?"
"He has his good days, his bad days. Maybe if he didn't keep breaking out and disappearing for ages then we'd get somewhere."
"Breaking out?"
She asked as if she didn't know.
"Yeah, he likes doing that. But he always comes back. Anyway, actually you may have helped me out a bit here."
"Why?"
"Well, I'd just been looking for you, figured you'd gone home. Luckily I came to check on Murdock here, he wasn't doing too good earlier. Anyway, I'm going out of town for a week or so, personal matter. I was going to ask you if you could take over caring for Donaldson but as you know Murdock maybe you could take over his care as well?"
"Sure, no problem. I did owe you."
"Thanks, Kate, you're a life saver!"
He gave her a hug and left her to it. She walked back into Murdock's room and found him sitting quietly on the bed.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Dr. Richter's going away for a week or so, he asked me to take over caring for a couple of his patients, including you."
"Really?!"
"Yes, so...we'll have plenty of time to talk."
She said seriously. He nodded and was about to say something when he heard a beeping.
"What's that?"
He asked.
"Just my beeper." She said taking it out of her pocket. "Damn," she looked up. "I've got to go. Work."
Murdock nodded.
"Sure thing." He got up and gave her a hug. "It's good to finally see you again. I really have missed you."
"I've missed you too. Haven't stopped thinking about you."
She said, pulling away. He hesitated about kissing her, and ended up just giving her a peck on the cheek.
"See you tomorrow."
She nodded and left.
Once outside she took a deep breath. That goodbye had felt awkward. She knew that it was going to take some time before they could get over the past decade without each other. And she knew now that they'd never go back to what they used to have. But this was a start and she felt so much better for finally seeing him, it would be so nice to have him as a friend even if she couldn't have him how she wanted him again. She reached reception and switched her mind back to her work. Her partner had beeped her for some reason. She went up to the desk and asked if she could borrow the phone. Picking it up she rang Steve's mobile.
"Hello?"
"Steve, what you beep me for?"
"Sorry, urgent. Boss wants to see us. I'm on my way there now. Meet you there?"
"Sure. See you soon."
And they hung up. She marched back to her car, jumped in and headed for work.
*************************************
"You know what, Hannibal? I think we deserve a vacation."
Face said, lowering his paper. Hannibal glanced over at him. The three of them were lounging in the living room of their apartment. They'd been back for only a few hours and Face was already restless.
"You know something, Lieutenant? I think you're absolutely right. We do deserve a vacation. What d'ya say BA?"
"Sounds great to me â€" but no flying!"
"No BA no flying." Hannibal turned back to Face. "Any ideas?"
"How about Crystal Lake, it'll be almost deserted now that summer's coming to an end. But it's still warm enough to be outdoors. "
"Aw man not Crystal Lake!"
"Why not? I mean, yeah things went a little bad last time but what are the chances of it happening again. Huh? I could break Murdock out in a few days and we could be at the lake by the end of the week. I don't think Decker will ever suspect us to go there again, and plus the only reason he knew we were there was because that pretty sheriff called him. She's not likely to do that again, now that she owes us."
"He has a point BA. We could grab some supplies and stay up there for a week or two. It'll give you time to work on the van â€" you know sort out those dents and bullet holes."
"Fine Hannibal. But don't say I didn't warn you if anything goes wrong."
"Right then, it's decided. Thursday, Face, you break Murdock out, and we'll get some supplies. Then we'll be off for a well deserved vacation."
Face smiled at the plan. He was looking forward to spending some time relaxing, plus he would be able to take the pretty sheriff out for dinner like he'd said. He also knew that Murdock would like it. He knew this week was hard for Murdock and he thought it would be a good idea for him to get out.
*************************************
It was only fifteen minutes down the road. She reached it to find Steve waiting outside for her.
"Any idea what this is about?"
She asked him.
"Your guess is as good as mine."
And with that they headed into the building. Heading for a bare door with no handle, Steve inserted a card into a slit half-way down and the door swung inwards. They walked down a long bare corridor and up to a wall, where behind the wall a woman scanned them for weapons with an x-ray device. Steve looked up at the camera.
"Afternoon Janice."
The door in the wall opened and they both stepped through.
"Please identify yourself to the scanner."
They moved to the side wall where there was a device that scanned their retina's and fingerprints and gave their name and number. The computer beeped and said 'identity confirmed' and they both walked past the desk and into the lift. They got out two floors down where their agency was situated. Their boss' office was at the far end and they headed over. It had glass walls and they could see that their other colleagues were already sitting down the main desk. Their bosses chair at the end was empty. They went in and sat down in the two of the four remaining seats.
"Hey Kate, how's things?"
Martin asked. She'd been away for two weeks.
"Things are fine. Feels good to be back. I've missed this place."
"You've got to be kidding me?!" Nikki said incredulously. "This place? It's been so quiet in here that you could have heard a pin drop. You really haven't missed much at all."
"Glad to hear it. What are we all here for anyway? And where's Danny and Mike? Late again?"
"They're on assignment in New York."
Josh, Danny's close friend answered. At that moment their boss entered through the door from his main office and sat down in his seat. He looked worn out and obviously had bad news.
"What is it, Captain?"
Nikki asked. Captain Peterson glanced at everyone around the table, nodding slightly at Kate in acknowledgement.
"We received word this morning from our offices in New York. Daniel Scott and Michael Yorke were killed this morning."
A stunned silence washed over everyone in the room. Josh closed his eyes and dropped his head. Martin sat stunned staring at his boss, as did Nikki and Colin, while Kate stared off into space, mouth open, unable to take it in. Danny and Mike had been good friends of hers, she'd known them since her father was in the force. Steve put his hand on her shoulder in comfort, unable to believe the news either. He was the first to speak.
"What happened?"
He demanded.
"The reports are unclear. They're saying that someone broke into both of their apartments and ransacked the place before killing them."
"What were they looking for?"
Martin said.
"We not sure."
"What was their assignment?"
Kate asked, finally finding her voice. Captain Peterson looked up at her.
"They were following a lead on the Murphy case, that they'd got from Simon."
Kate stared at him, unable to reply. The Murphy case was what her and Steve had been working on before she had been shot. She had been going to see Simon, the guy with connections that would talk to her as long as she brought food, when the incident had occurred.
The Murphy's were two brothers who, as far as they knew, worked with the KGB. They had numerous operations such as a weapons ring and drugs smuggling, that the Murphy's ran, but, Steve and Kate had suspected that this was all just a cover for what they were really doing. Simon was about to tell them the name of a man who the Murphy's worked for that they knew wasn't involved in any of their other work. A man who, Kate knew, had been running many secret operations ever since her father had been in the force.
Danny and Mike had obviously been carrying on the case, while Steve and herself went off at a tangent following the leads to find out who it was that shot her. Kate had figured that whoever it was couldn't have been directly involved with the Murphy's, because Simon hadn't shown. She knew that if they had been working for the Murphy's then Simon would never have caught wind of the plan and he would have been there waiting for her and he would have also been killed. People working for the Murphy's were too good to have their plans found out, and whoever it was had obviously wanted Simon alive to give them his information. She tried to explain this to her boss, but he wouldn't listen. She was told that she was just being paranoid and that Simon wasn't a trustworthy source.
"So, I was right. Whoever it was wants something from us, that's why Simon wasn't killed."
Her boss nodded.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I should have listened to you. You were right."
Everyone went silent for a moment.
"So...what do we do now?"
Josh asked.
"We all have to be very careful from now on. If whoever it is knew that Danny and Mike were agents, that only means one thing. We have a leak in the system, so what I have told you and what I'm going to tell you doesn't go beyond this room, am I understood." Everyone nodded. "Right. As far as everyone else knows the case is being dropped. We are no longer working on it. Martin and Nikki, I want you to go New York. Find out everything you can about what Danny and Mike had found out and see if there's any evidence as to what it was these people thought they were hiding. As far as anyone knows you're just going over to pick up their things and to tie up loose ends. Josh and Colin, I want you to find out everything you can from Simon, see if you can find out what it was these people are looking for, try not to be too conspicuous. Steve, I want you to stay here. Go over all the information we have and see if there's anything we missed. If anyone asks you're just sorting out paperwork, while your partner is away.
"What?!"
Kate half shouted.
"Kate, I want you to stay home, rest. If anything comes up I want you in tip-top condition. Dismissed. Kate, could you stay behind."
Everyone filtered out slowly, still reeling at the news of their friends deaths but used to putting their emotions aside to get on with their assignments. Kate was left sitting on her own. Captain Peterson stood and moved to lean beside her on the table.
"Kate, I want you to carry on with what you're doing. I'll get Steve to come by and pick up the paperwork you have."
Kate looked up at him.
"Carry on with what?"
"Talking to Donaldson." He put his hand up to stop Kate butting in. "Yes, I know that you've been following leads. I know you wouldn't let this go, plus Steve has been keeping me informed."
"Steve..."
She said threateningly.
"Don't blame him, he was just following orders. I have a feeling that if you find who it was that tried to kill you, then you'll be lead straight to the top man. Don't tell anyone what you're doing. Only Steve and I will know."
"Why not the others?"
"Just a hunch."
"You think it's one of them don't you? One of them has been leaking information."
"Now, I didn't say that."
"Of course you didn't."
She smiled in acknowledgement.
"If you have any information then let Steve know. He'll come see you everyday, playing the worried partner. Okay? Oh, and get Steve to show you out, tell him I want to see him."
"Sure."
Her boss nodded and she got up and headed out.
"See you around, Captain."
"Be careful."
She nodded, opened the door and left. Steve was waiting outside, as was Josh and Colin.
"What was all that about?"
Steve asked.
"Nothing much, just trying to cool me down. I feel ready to come back and help but he's adamant that I still need time off to recuperate. It's crazy! I don't need to rest, I feel fine."
"No, I think you look a little pale, maybe it's better that you rest. When we do find the bastards it's gonna mean 24 hours work solid until we catch them. Don't want you collapsing half way."
Josh said.
"He's right."
Colin agreed.
"Fine. Well, I'm off them. No point staying round here. Got better things to do. Like learning how to become a couch potato!"
Her friends laughed.
"Gonna walk me out?"
She asked Steve.
"Why not."
He smiled. Once past the security checks and back in the main reception Kate turned to Steve.
"Boss wants to see you, try and make it inconspicuous."
"What about?"
"You'll find out. See you around."
She said the latter a bit louder for anyone trying to listen to hear. With that she gave him a small hug and turned to leave.
"Don't forget to come visit. Don't want to get lonely."
And with that she left.
************************************
Colin Watson looks across to see where Josh, his partner, is. Spotting him over by the filing cabinet looking busy, Colin picks up his phone and dials.
"What?"
A voice answers.
"It's me Pap. We've just had a meeting with Captain Peterson. Kate turned up as well. He knows about Danny and Mike, but they don't know why they were killed."
"They don't know about the code-key?"
"No. And Danny and Mike didn't have it so that leaves Kate, Steve and Josh. But I don't think it's Kate."
"Son, I know you like Kate, but you know that it's more likely to be her than one of the others. Her father didn't have it on him when I killed him so he must have given it to someone. And Kate's the most likely being his daughter."
"But she was only seven and you did tell me that the trauma of what happened to her parents gave her selective amnesia â€" that she doesn't remember anything â€" maybe she never will. And anyway it could easily have been Josh â€" her fathers partner."
"What about Steve?"
"That's less likely. His father worked with Kate's father and I can't see Steve's father telling him something that important."
"What about the others in your team?"
"What; Martin and Nikki? No, they have no connection to Kate's father at all. I've checked and double checked them. They know nothing. I think if Kate knew about the code-key then she would have told her boss when she heard about Danny and Mike but she didn't say anything."
"Maybe she knows one of you is leaking information?"
"They already know that Pap, but they don't suspect me â€" otherwise I wouldn't still be working on the case."
"Okay, let me think...I'm gonna have to call my boss about this. For now keep a close eye on all of them â€" especially Kate. I have a feeling she knows something, maybe her father did tell her, but she just doesn't remember. If she doesn't remember then we're fine, we've got nothing to worry about...but if she does you have to be ready. And be careful, I don't want you getting found out. Okay son?"
Colin sighed.
"Sure thing Pap." They hung up.
I was looking through my file of favourite quotes last night and I found one I think that fits.
"The course of true love never did run smooth."
20 points to whoever knows what book that's from! It's not too hard.