song
part 9: have you really ever loved a woman?
Spoilers: I don't even know at this point.
Author's note: For future reference, there is already a sequel to 'Song' being planned. 'Song' is the development of the relationship between Liz and Ric, and the as-yet-unnamed sequel will be the exploration of the impending triangle between Liz, Ric, and Jason.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, yadayadayada.
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Please, I love it. I live for it, even. It makes me smile. Even if it's just a, 'Good job', I love it.
She began to understand, in profound and tragic ways, what it must have meant to be Jason Morgan's girl. She began to understand as well why it hadn't worked out between the two of them.
He was keeping her captive, locked up in Ric's room, monitoring her at every moment, sitting by the window, watching the outside, standing by the doorframe. She was aware of his every move, his every motion, and she couldn't stand it. She could see so distinctly the differences between the two of them, now that they were trapped in the same room, watching each other, examining each other, testing each other.
Ric was sometimes two people: BusinessRic and HumanRic.
Jason was also sometimes two people: BusinessJason and HumanJason-but there were no real differences between the two of them. He might have looked at her a little softer when he was HumanJason, but he never tried to make a distinction between his two worlds.
She was sometimes scared of Jason. She was never scared of Ric.
Ric leaned on the desk, his hands shoved loosely into the pockets of his jeans, his sweater molding itself to his tight form, and he stared down at his shoes. He knew, as well as she did, that this was not the way to keep her safe. Everyone was concerned about her safety, no one more so than Elizabeth herself, but this was not the way to stop people from dying.
Jason's rationalization was that if she was next to go, Faison couldn't move until he had killed her; as long as they kept her safe, no one else would die.
Ric had argued with him, his eyes burning, and he would say that he couldn't keep her locked up, couldn't keep her like this, that she couldn't survive like this. She could hear them arguing, arguing for her well being. There was a possessiveness in Jason's voice, but none in Ric's. He regarded her as a human being, and Jason saw her as an object. That was not the only difference, but it was an important one.
She looked up at Ric from her position by the chair, and he looked at her, and then they both looked at Jason, who spoke in hushed tones on his cell phone by the doorway. Ric understood her; she had to get out of this room.
If she had been given the opportunity to go back six months and do things differently with Jason, she wouldn't have. If she had been given the opportunity to go back all those years and stay with Lucky, she wouldn't have. All she would have done, if given the opportunity, was keep Lucky alive, keep him safe, keep him sane. She would have kept people from dying as best she could.
But she wouldn't have given up Ric, not for anything.
In spite of it all, he made her happy. He made her feel complete. And in reality, they had only shared a handful of kisses between the first one and where they were now. A handful of psuedo-dates, flirtation-- that was what they had. And yet, it felt more real than anything she had had with Jason.
After Jason got off the phone, a dull silence invaded the room, and they sat through it until Elizabeth could contain herself no longer. "Jason, I have to get out of here. You're driving me crazy."
"You're not going anywhere, Elizabeth," he told her as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. The way he said her name, in that thin voice of his, made her feel so young. He was treating her like a child, and at some point, it had to stop.
She stood up, almost swimming in the sweater Ric had leant her, and she put her hands on her hips, her easiest and most tangible way of asserting her power. "You can not keep me captive."
"I'm not keeping you captive," Jason insisted, but they both knew the truth better than that. "I'm trying to protect you."
"From what?" she cried. "The elements? I'm sorry, Jason, but sometimes people get hit by rain. I have to go to my studio and change, maybe start trying to live my life. Lucky won't hurt me."
"He already did, Elizabeth." He barely paused for breath as he changed tactics. "It doesn't look like you need clothing, either."
"Oh, get over it," she replied, suddenly angry with him for attacking her like that.
He was jealous. The answer was right there.
He had also lost the girl he was dating, and he had closed himself off, shut himself down to avoid feeling the pain. He had made himself numb, because for Jason Morgan, life was easier that way.
She envied him for his ability to do that, and she pitied him for his inability to do anything else. "You are keeping the only two people who know what's going on in this room, and you're not helping anyone."
"I'm helping you," was his answer.
"I'm a big girl."
"Then why are you making decisions that are putting you in danger?"
"Like what?" she demanded.
"Like getting involved with him-" Jason almost yelled at her, almost yelled in that Jason-way of his.
Ric had remained silent, probably because he understood that he was dealing with two people who cared about each other, but he looked at her with those gorgeous brown eyes of his, those eyes that were completely understanding, and she found that there was no need to draw comparisons between the two men anymore.
There was no comparison.
One excelled in every way, and the other did not.
Ric Lansing had secrets, just like Jason Morgan did, but Ric looked at her like he didn't want to keep any secrets from her, like his keeping secrets from her was all for her own sake.
"Jason-" she started, but he wouldn't let her speak.
"Elizabeth, that's easily the stupidest decision you could have made-"
"Jason, I'm falling in love with him," she told him firmly. "Do you even know what that feels like? Or did you lose that when you lost the Quartermaine part of you?"
It was a low blow. He had loved Robin, and maybe he had loved Courtney-in his own way.
Then she realized what she had said. It seemed so natural to come out of her mouth, but she suddenly felt her cheeks burning, and she couldn't look at Ric, couldn't bear to see the judgment she knew awaited her in his eyes. She had gone too far, let herself fall too fast, and he wasn't supposed to know that.
"I think you should leave now," Ric said to Jason, straightening himself out and rising to his full height, equal with Jason. "I'm not going to let anything happen to her. So just leave. You're not welcome here."
All she could do was look at Jason, and Jason only looked at her. He didn't have anything to say, just blinked. And then he turned and left.
She felt herself sinking into the warmth of the chair behind her, and she put her hands up to her hot cheeks and tried to soak up some of the heat with her cool fingers. "Hey-hey-what's the matter?" Ric asked, going to her side immediately.
"I didn't-I didn't mean to say that. I just, I was trying to explain to him- "
"Elizabeth," he said, stopping her and dropping to his knees so that they were at eye-level.
"I just wanted him to leave," she was still trying to explain, but he took her chin in his hand and tilted her head so that she was forced to meet his eyes.
"Hey," he said. "You say all this like I didn't know that you were falling in love with me." He said it in complete earnest, but then the corners of his mouth began twitching, and the grin broke out on his face. She smacked him on the shoulder, and he caught her hand in his.
"You don't lack any self-confidence, do you?"
He shook his head, still smiling, still holding her hand, and he said, "It's all bravado."
"Oh, because you're scared?"
"I'm terrified," he said, and he kissed her temple.
"You, scared? Of what, Mr. Secretive?"
"Of what you make me feel when I do this," he replied, and he kissed her softly on the lips, still clutching her hand to his chest, as though he were afraid to lose it.
When he pulled away, she felt that same smile on her lips, the one he always put there. "That was such a line," she teased him. "I can't believe you just used that on me."
"It sounded better in my head," he said to her, chuckling.
"You may be a good lawyer," she said to him, "but you're a terrible ladies' man."
"I am, am I?"
"Mmmhmm," she murmured, and then she leaned in to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, and she felt so warm, in his arms, in his sweater.
"So what about you?" she asked him, pulling away again.
His arms still around her, he said, "What about me what?"
"Are you-are you falling in love with me? And you can't avoid it-you have to answer that one honestly."
She bit her lip, waiting for the answer, and he took one of his hands and brushed a chunk of hair out of her eyes. There was a feeling of anxiety in her stomach, just a tiny fluttering, and the way he was looking at her just made her feel warm inside.
"I'm pleading the fifth," he told her, and he kissed the tip of her nose. "A good lawyer never shows his hand."
"I hate to point this out, but we are not in a courtroom here."
"Then why do I feel like I'm on trial?"
"Okay, fine," she replied mock-angrily, and she started to pull herself out of the chair and away from his arms, but he held onto her tightly.
"Okay, okay, okay," he protested, and she snuggled herself into the safety of his arms, relishing and savoring his aroma. "Elizabeth," he started, and she giggled. "What?" he asked.
"So serious," she said to him, and she brushed a piece of his hair off of his forehead.
"I can't be serious when you're making fun of me," he said, still grinning.
"Sorry," she apologized, not sorry.
"You-" he started again, but then he just smiled and buried his head in her lap. She let her hands tangle in his hair, and when he looked back up at her, his eyes were serious. "Do you even need to ask me that question?" he asked her.
"No," she said softly. "I guess not."
They just looked at each other, safe within each other's arms. Nothing could hurt her there, and yet, she was not held captive like Jason had done, like he had done now in Ric's room, and like he had done in the Penthouse. She was free. She was falling in love.
"Come on," Ric said to her, and he stood up. He put out his hand, and she took it willingly. "He's not going to keep you here. We're leaving. Now."
To be continued . . .
"To really love a woman,
to understand her,
you gotta know her deep inside.
Hear every thought,
see every dream
and give her wings, when she wants to fly."
-- 'Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman?' by Bryan Adams
part 9: have you really ever loved a woman?
Spoilers: I don't even know at this point.
Author's note: For future reference, there is already a sequel to 'Song' being planned. 'Song' is the development of the relationship between Liz and Ric, and the as-yet-unnamed sequel will be the exploration of the impending triangle between Liz, Ric, and Jason.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, yadayadayada.
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Please, I love it. I live for it, even. It makes me smile. Even if it's just a, 'Good job', I love it.
She began to understand, in profound and tragic ways, what it must have meant to be Jason Morgan's girl. She began to understand as well why it hadn't worked out between the two of them.
He was keeping her captive, locked up in Ric's room, monitoring her at every moment, sitting by the window, watching the outside, standing by the doorframe. She was aware of his every move, his every motion, and she couldn't stand it. She could see so distinctly the differences between the two of them, now that they were trapped in the same room, watching each other, examining each other, testing each other.
Ric was sometimes two people: BusinessRic and HumanRic.
Jason was also sometimes two people: BusinessJason and HumanJason-but there were no real differences between the two of them. He might have looked at her a little softer when he was HumanJason, but he never tried to make a distinction between his two worlds.
She was sometimes scared of Jason. She was never scared of Ric.
Ric leaned on the desk, his hands shoved loosely into the pockets of his jeans, his sweater molding itself to his tight form, and he stared down at his shoes. He knew, as well as she did, that this was not the way to keep her safe. Everyone was concerned about her safety, no one more so than Elizabeth herself, but this was not the way to stop people from dying.
Jason's rationalization was that if she was next to go, Faison couldn't move until he had killed her; as long as they kept her safe, no one else would die.
Ric had argued with him, his eyes burning, and he would say that he couldn't keep her locked up, couldn't keep her like this, that she couldn't survive like this. She could hear them arguing, arguing for her well being. There was a possessiveness in Jason's voice, but none in Ric's. He regarded her as a human being, and Jason saw her as an object. That was not the only difference, but it was an important one.
She looked up at Ric from her position by the chair, and he looked at her, and then they both looked at Jason, who spoke in hushed tones on his cell phone by the doorway. Ric understood her; she had to get out of this room.
If she had been given the opportunity to go back six months and do things differently with Jason, she wouldn't have. If she had been given the opportunity to go back all those years and stay with Lucky, she wouldn't have. All she would have done, if given the opportunity, was keep Lucky alive, keep him safe, keep him sane. She would have kept people from dying as best she could.
But she wouldn't have given up Ric, not for anything.
In spite of it all, he made her happy. He made her feel complete. And in reality, they had only shared a handful of kisses between the first one and where they were now. A handful of psuedo-dates, flirtation-- that was what they had. And yet, it felt more real than anything she had had with Jason.
After Jason got off the phone, a dull silence invaded the room, and they sat through it until Elizabeth could contain herself no longer. "Jason, I have to get out of here. You're driving me crazy."
"You're not going anywhere, Elizabeth," he told her as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. The way he said her name, in that thin voice of his, made her feel so young. He was treating her like a child, and at some point, it had to stop.
She stood up, almost swimming in the sweater Ric had leant her, and she put her hands on her hips, her easiest and most tangible way of asserting her power. "You can not keep me captive."
"I'm not keeping you captive," Jason insisted, but they both knew the truth better than that. "I'm trying to protect you."
"From what?" she cried. "The elements? I'm sorry, Jason, but sometimes people get hit by rain. I have to go to my studio and change, maybe start trying to live my life. Lucky won't hurt me."
"He already did, Elizabeth." He barely paused for breath as he changed tactics. "It doesn't look like you need clothing, either."
"Oh, get over it," she replied, suddenly angry with him for attacking her like that.
He was jealous. The answer was right there.
He had also lost the girl he was dating, and he had closed himself off, shut himself down to avoid feeling the pain. He had made himself numb, because for Jason Morgan, life was easier that way.
She envied him for his ability to do that, and she pitied him for his inability to do anything else. "You are keeping the only two people who know what's going on in this room, and you're not helping anyone."
"I'm helping you," was his answer.
"I'm a big girl."
"Then why are you making decisions that are putting you in danger?"
"Like what?" she demanded.
"Like getting involved with him-" Jason almost yelled at her, almost yelled in that Jason-way of his.
Ric had remained silent, probably because he understood that he was dealing with two people who cared about each other, but he looked at her with those gorgeous brown eyes of his, those eyes that were completely understanding, and she found that there was no need to draw comparisons between the two men anymore.
There was no comparison.
One excelled in every way, and the other did not.
Ric Lansing had secrets, just like Jason Morgan did, but Ric looked at her like he didn't want to keep any secrets from her, like his keeping secrets from her was all for her own sake.
"Jason-" she started, but he wouldn't let her speak.
"Elizabeth, that's easily the stupidest decision you could have made-"
"Jason, I'm falling in love with him," she told him firmly. "Do you even know what that feels like? Or did you lose that when you lost the Quartermaine part of you?"
It was a low blow. He had loved Robin, and maybe he had loved Courtney-in his own way.
Then she realized what she had said. It seemed so natural to come out of her mouth, but she suddenly felt her cheeks burning, and she couldn't look at Ric, couldn't bear to see the judgment she knew awaited her in his eyes. She had gone too far, let herself fall too fast, and he wasn't supposed to know that.
"I think you should leave now," Ric said to Jason, straightening himself out and rising to his full height, equal with Jason. "I'm not going to let anything happen to her. So just leave. You're not welcome here."
All she could do was look at Jason, and Jason only looked at her. He didn't have anything to say, just blinked. And then he turned and left.
She felt herself sinking into the warmth of the chair behind her, and she put her hands up to her hot cheeks and tried to soak up some of the heat with her cool fingers. "Hey-hey-what's the matter?" Ric asked, going to her side immediately.
"I didn't-I didn't mean to say that. I just, I was trying to explain to him- "
"Elizabeth," he said, stopping her and dropping to his knees so that they were at eye-level.
"I just wanted him to leave," she was still trying to explain, but he took her chin in his hand and tilted her head so that she was forced to meet his eyes.
"Hey," he said. "You say all this like I didn't know that you were falling in love with me." He said it in complete earnest, but then the corners of his mouth began twitching, and the grin broke out on his face. She smacked him on the shoulder, and he caught her hand in his.
"You don't lack any self-confidence, do you?"
He shook his head, still smiling, still holding her hand, and he said, "It's all bravado."
"Oh, because you're scared?"
"I'm terrified," he said, and he kissed her temple.
"You, scared? Of what, Mr. Secretive?"
"Of what you make me feel when I do this," he replied, and he kissed her softly on the lips, still clutching her hand to his chest, as though he were afraid to lose it.
When he pulled away, she felt that same smile on her lips, the one he always put there. "That was such a line," she teased him. "I can't believe you just used that on me."
"It sounded better in my head," he said to her, chuckling.
"You may be a good lawyer," she said to him, "but you're a terrible ladies' man."
"I am, am I?"
"Mmmhmm," she murmured, and then she leaned in to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, and she felt so warm, in his arms, in his sweater.
"So what about you?" she asked him, pulling away again.
His arms still around her, he said, "What about me what?"
"Are you-are you falling in love with me? And you can't avoid it-you have to answer that one honestly."
She bit her lip, waiting for the answer, and he took one of his hands and brushed a chunk of hair out of her eyes. There was a feeling of anxiety in her stomach, just a tiny fluttering, and the way he was looking at her just made her feel warm inside.
"I'm pleading the fifth," he told her, and he kissed the tip of her nose. "A good lawyer never shows his hand."
"I hate to point this out, but we are not in a courtroom here."
"Then why do I feel like I'm on trial?"
"Okay, fine," she replied mock-angrily, and she started to pull herself out of the chair and away from his arms, but he held onto her tightly.
"Okay, okay, okay," he protested, and she snuggled herself into the safety of his arms, relishing and savoring his aroma. "Elizabeth," he started, and she giggled. "What?" he asked.
"So serious," she said to him, and she brushed a piece of his hair off of his forehead.
"I can't be serious when you're making fun of me," he said, still grinning.
"Sorry," she apologized, not sorry.
"You-" he started again, but then he just smiled and buried his head in her lap. She let her hands tangle in his hair, and when he looked back up at her, his eyes were serious. "Do you even need to ask me that question?" he asked her.
"No," she said softly. "I guess not."
They just looked at each other, safe within each other's arms. Nothing could hurt her there, and yet, she was not held captive like Jason had done, like he had done now in Ric's room, and like he had done in the Penthouse. She was free. She was falling in love.
"Come on," Ric said to her, and he stood up. He put out his hand, and she took it willingly. "He's not going to keep you here. We're leaving. Now."
To be continued . . .
"To really love a woman,
to understand her,
you gotta know her deep inside.
Hear every thought,
see every dream
and give her wings, when she wants to fly."
-- 'Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman?' by Bryan Adams