Finally Part ten for you!!!!!!!! Soz it's taken me so long. After losing
the chapter the first time it's taken me a while to get the motivation to
rewrite it - especially as I couldn't remember what I had written and had
to make it up - it's not as good as it was so please take that into account
- I've just kinda rushed this to get it all down!!!!!! Oh and then there's
the small fact that the site has been down for simply ages - everytime I
came on I had my fingers crossed that it was working!!!!!!!!!
PART TEN - Dreams
It's nearly an hour later when Murdock finally comes downstairs. Hannibal, Face and BA are all sitting in the living room when Murdock's footsteps are heard coming down the stair. He entered the living room and they all looked up at him.
"She's asleep at last." Murdock said half collapsing onto the sofa next to Face.
"Did she say anything?" Hannibal asked. Murdock shook his head.
"No. Whatever it was really shook her up though. I've never seen her like this." Face puts his hand of Murdock's shoulder.
"She'll be okay, Murdock." Murdock merely nodded, unsure. Face watched him for a moment, then had an idea. He knew that Murdock needed to talk and that he was never likely to open up with them all there.
"You know it's nearly dinner time. Let's take a trip and go and order some pizza."
"I'm not hungry." Murdock said quietly, looking down.
"Well, come and keep me company at least." He stood and urged Murdock to stand.
"Please?" Murdock looked at him, then stood.
"What about Kate?" Hannibal spoke up.
"BA and I will be here. Besides, she'll probably be asleep for a while."
"Come on Murdock, Mm?"
"...Okay." Face gave Hannibal as nod as he followed Murdock out of the door. Once they were gone Hannibal broke the silence that had descended in the room.
"Let's hope Face can get him to talk. He needs it, and I don't really want to send him back to the VA to Dr. Richter. Kate's gonna need him."
"Nah man. Face'll get through. He always does." BA stood.
"I'm gonna go finish the van off." Hannibal nodded, leaning back and folding his arms, thinking, as BA left.
*****
Face had decided to drive into town to get the pizza rather than order from the phone booth. They'd just reached town and Murdock had been silent the whole time, his elbow on the arm rest, head in hand, staring out the window. Face had chosen to give Murdock some time to start talking himself and if he hadn't by the time they reached town, Face was gonna get him started.
He pulled up outside the pizza place, turned the engine off, then just sat and watched Murdock. He was still staring out the window lost in his own world.
"Murdock?" No reply, he tried louder.
"Murdock!" Murdock blinked and sat upright, looking over at Face.
"What?" Face looked at him for a moment.
"We're here."
"Oh." He opened the door and stepped out onto the path. Face sighed and followed suite.
"What pizza do you want?" Face asked as they entered.
"I said I wasn't hungry...Hawaiian." He said after a pause. Face smiled and went and ordered two Hawaiian pizza's, while Murdock turned and looked out the window. Face came back a few moment later.
"I said we'd be outside in the car." Murdock nodded and they went back outside and got into Face's vette. Once again they sat in silence until Face decided enough was enough.
"You still love her don't you?" He said quietly. Murdock looked up, frowning.
"What?"
"You still love her." He stated. Murdock sighed and looked away.
"I don't know what to do. I want to help her, but I don't know how...and I want to hold her...and kiss her...and be how we used to be..." Face kept quiet knowing it was best if he just let Murdock carry on.
"What should I do? I don't know how to help her, she has all these problems, and all these emotions and I just want to take her in my arms and tell her everything's gonna be okay...but I can't..." Face urged him on.
"Why not...?"
"Because...because...I'm scared...I'm scared of losing her again...I'm scared that if I show her how I really feel that she'll leave again. How can I help her without showing her I love her?" He looked at Face urgently, wanting him to tell him the answers to all he problems.
"You've just got to be there for her, Murdock. You've got to give her the time to get her head around everything, and then when she's ready you'll be there to help her. We're all gonna be there for her Murdock, but it's you she needs...and loves." Murdock gave him a questioning look.
"Loves...?"
"She loves you Murdock. You can see it when she looks at you. She's holding back as much as you are. But she's holding back because of her problems so let her take the next step. She needs to know that she's the one that needs the help and that it's you that's the strong one this time."
Murdock realised what he meant and nodded. Back in 'Nam it was Murdock that was the weak one and Kate was the strong one - she's too used to being the strong one all the time and she needs him more than she thinks.
"Thanks Muchacho." He said sincerely.
"Anytime, pal."
Murdock reached over and they gave each other a hug. Murdock slapped Face on the back manly. There was a knock at the window and they let go and looked around to see the waiter standing holding two pizza boxes.
*****
Her dream was back and this time it was more real than ever. She was a little girl sitting at the kitchen table watching her mother and drawing in her colouring book. The man came in, her mother dropped the glass, there was screaming and shouting. Her mother jerked, the glimmer of metal.
Then the faceless man turned to her smiling, she knew that he was smiling because he was laughing, she remembered that now - laughing like he was having fun. He moved towards her brandishing the knife and reached out to grab her.
She wasn't the little girl anymore, she was Kate as she was now and as the man stepped forwards light shone on his face and she gasped.
The background changed - she was back in the warehouse and the same man was holding a gun on her. And then simply she knew. She knew who he was and what he'd done.
Time stood still as she heard a gun go off, then realised she was back in the kitchen and the man once again had a knife. She jolted at the same time the man shouted out in pain and she saw blood leaking form his shoulder. He dropped the knife and ran out of the kitchen door.
Kate stood still for a moment unsure of what had happened. She heard a noise and looked down to see her father laying in the doorway of the living room and kitchen. She ran over going from the little girl she was to the woman again. She bent down. Blood was pooling out on the floor below her fathers body.
"Dad? Dad?!" Kate called desperate. He looked up at her with glazed eyes and smiled gently.
"Kate, honey. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay...But there's something I need you to remember."
He was overcome with a coughing fit and Kate could feel the tears streaming down her face. When he'd finished he looked back up at her.
"You remember our secret hiding place?" Kate nodded.
"There's something there that I need you to give to Josh - he's on his way. I want you to show him where it is okay?" Kate nodded again, numbly.
"But why can't you show him?" The little girl was back.
"Honey, you remember that talk I had with you about me not always being here?" The little girl nodded.
"This may be that time when I have to go away and live with nanna and granddad. I need you to be strong for me. Can you do that?" The little girl nodded.
"That's my girl. I love you sweetie. There's one other thing I need you to do. I need you to remember our song. You remember our song?"
"Yes." And she started to sing. It was Amazing Grace. After a moment her father joined in disjointedly until he gently slipped away listening to his little girl singing.
It wasn't long before Josh came bursting into their house with a group of armed men. He found Kate sitting there hugging her dad and singing quietly as the tears flowed freely.
Downstairs Hannibal was putting the kettle on in the kitchen when he heard Kate cry out. Fearing the worst he ran out into the hall and up the stairs, throwing open her door.
He found her sitting up in bed, tears streaming down her face, fumbling in the dark for the lamp. He moved over and sat on the edge of the bed turning it on for her. When she realised she was not alone and no longer in the dream and reached for him and he leaned in. She clung to him, stunning him momentarily from the tight grip, but then returned the hug comfortingly. He held her until her sobs calmed, then pulled her back and held her shoulders.
"You okay?" She nodded, shakily.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I was dreaming, it was something that happened long ago." She looked up at him. "My parents didn't just die when I was eight. They were murdered." She stared out into the distance. Hannibal looked shocked.
"I'd forgotten. There was this man, he came into our house and stabbed my father who was working in the study. Then he came into the kitchen. My mum dropped a glass she was cleaning and shouting for my dad. He never came. He killed her, then he turned on me. I would be dead now if it wasn't for my fathers stubborn mind. He'd pulled himself to the door and shot at the man, wounding him in the shoulder. He ran. I went to my dad, and we sang. We sang our song until Josh, my fathers partner got there, he'd been on the phone with my father when he was stabbed. It wasn't till he arrived that I realised that my dad had died in my arms. I remember now. I went into shock didn't remember what had happened, not until now."
She took a breath. Hannibal just sat and looked at her. For some reason he had a feeling that she was concealing something but he didn't want to push her.
"Why don't you try and get some sleep now. I'll stay with you." She looked at him.
"Thank you." She smiled a bit.
"I think everything's gonna be okay now. It's nearly over."
Hannibal nodded figuring she meant that her demons were free and could no longer haunt her. What he didn't know was that the man who had killed her was the same man in the warehouse and in her house, and the man she knew was killing her friends and looking for her. She knew what she had to do now. She had to go to that secret place, had to finish her fathers work - whatever that may be.
She closes her eyes and it's not long before she's sleeping peacefully again. Hannibal bends across and gently kisses her forehead, then silently leaves. As he heads down the stairs Murdock and Face enter with the pizza's. Straight away Murdock knows that something is wrong.
"Kate?" He starts to run up the stairs but Hannibal stops him.
"Calm down, Murdock. She's okay. Just another nightmare. She told me everything." And he proceeded to explain to Murdock exactly what she had told him, and that she seems okay with it now. Her demons are out.
"Go and stay with her until she wakes, Murdock. I'm sure she wants to be with you."
"That's muchacho."
And he stands and heads upstairs. She's still sleeping peacefully when he enters and he goes and sits by her, taking her hand. For a long time he just sits in silence, then he sighs.
"I love you. I can't help it. I just do. I know I can live without you, I've been there. I just don't want to. It's not a nice place. I'll wait for you, because I love you."
And with that he leaned back in the chair and fell asleep. Kate silently opened her eyes and smiled gently to herself before falling back asleep.
*****
She could feel the warmth of the sun on her face before she'd even opened her eyes. When she did open them and look towards the window she could see Murdock standing there, staring out. She smiled to herself. She knew that as soon as she had finished what her father had started she could go back to loving him completely and telling him how much she loved him.
"Murdock."
He turned and looked at her. She smiled and he felt the relief spreading over him. He went over to her, sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into an embrace. She relaxed in his hold, her arms going around his shoulder and behind his neck. His arms were around her waist and up her back holding on tight and she felt secure.
That's it. Short and sweet. Now to get the next past done. Reviews please.
PART TEN - Dreams
It's nearly an hour later when Murdock finally comes downstairs. Hannibal, Face and BA are all sitting in the living room when Murdock's footsteps are heard coming down the stair. He entered the living room and they all looked up at him.
"She's asleep at last." Murdock said half collapsing onto the sofa next to Face.
"Did she say anything?" Hannibal asked. Murdock shook his head.
"No. Whatever it was really shook her up though. I've never seen her like this." Face puts his hand of Murdock's shoulder.
"She'll be okay, Murdock." Murdock merely nodded, unsure. Face watched him for a moment, then had an idea. He knew that Murdock needed to talk and that he was never likely to open up with them all there.
"You know it's nearly dinner time. Let's take a trip and go and order some pizza."
"I'm not hungry." Murdock said quietly, looking down.
"Well, come and keep me company at least." He stood and urged Murdock to stand.
"Please?" Murdock looked at him, then stood.
"What about Kate?" Hannibal spoke up.
"BA and I will be here. Besides, she'll probably be asleep for a while."
"Come on Murdock, Mm?"
"...Okay." Face gave Hannibal as nod as he followed Murdock out of the door. Once they were gone Hannibal broke the silence that had descended in the room.
"Let's hope Face can get him to talk. He needs it, and I don't really want to send him back to the VA to Dr. Richter. Kate's gonna need him."
"Nah man. Face'll get through. He always does." BA stood.
"I'm gonna go finish the van off." Hannibal nodded, leaning back and folding his arms, thinking, as BA left.
*****
Face had decided to drive into town to get the pizza rather than order from the phone booth. They'd just reached town and Murdock had been silent the whole time, his elbow on the arm rest, head in hand, staring out the window. Face had chosen to give Murdock some time to start talking himself and if he hadn't by the time they reached town, Face was gonna get him started.
He pulled up outside the pizza place, turned the engine off, then just sat and watched Murdock. He was still staring out the window lost in his own world.
"Murdock?" No reply, he tried louder.
"Murdock!" Murdock blinked and sat upright, looking over at Face.
"What?" Face looked at him for a moment.
"We're here."
"Oh." He opened the door and stepped out onto the path. Face sighed and followed suite.
"What pizza do you want?" Face asked as they entered.
"I said I wasn't hungry...Hawaiian." He said after a pause. Face smiled and went and ordered two Hawaiian pizza's, while Murdock turned and looked out the window. Face came back a few moment later.
"I said we'd be outside in the car." Murdock nodded and they went back outside and got into Face's vette. Once again they sat in silence until Face decided enough was enough.
"You still love her don't you?" He said quietly. Murdock looked up, frowning.
"What?"
"You still love her." He stated. Murdock sighed and looked away.
"I don't know what to do. I want to help her, but I don't know how...and I want to hold her...and kiss her...and be how we used to be..." Face kept quiet knowing it was best if he just let Murdock carry on.
"What should I do? I don't know how to help her, she has all these problems, and all these emotions and I just want to take her in my arms and tell her everything's gonna be okay...but I can't..." Face urged him on.
"Why not...?"
"Because...because...I'm scared...I'm scared of losing her again...I'm scared that if I show her how I really feel that she'll leave again. How can I help her without showing her I love her?" He looked at Face urgently, wanting him to tell him the answers to all he problems.
"You've just got to be there for her, Murdock. You've got to give her the time to get her head around everything, and then when she's ready you'll be there to help her. We're all gonna be there for her Murdock, but it's you she needs...and loves." Murdock gave him a questioning look.
"Loves...?"
"She loves you Murdock. You can see it when she looks at you. She's holding back as much as you are. But she's holding back because of her problems so let her take the next step. She needs to know that she's the one that needs the help and that it's you that's the strong one this time."
Murdock realised what he meant and nodded. Back in 'Nam it was Murdock that was the weak one and Kate was the strong one - she's too used to being the strong one all the time and she needs him more than she thinks.
"Thanks Muchacho." He said sincerely.
"Anytime, pal."
Murdock reached over and they gave each other a hug. Murdock slapped Face on the back manly. There was a knock at the window and they let go and looked around to see the waiter standing holding two pizza boxes.
*****
Her dream was back and this time it was more real than ever. She was a little girl sitting at the kitchen table watching her mother and drawing in her colouring book. The man came in, her mother dropped the glass, there was screaming and shouting. Her mother jerked, the glimmer of metal.
Then the faceless man turned to her smiling, she knew that he was smiling because he was laughing, she remembered that now - laughing like he was having fun. He moved towards her brandishing the knife and reached out to grab her.
She wasn't the little girl anymore, she was Kate as she was now and as the man stepped forwards light shone on his face and she gasped.
The background changed - she was back in the warehouse and the same man was holding a gun on her. And then simply she knew. She knew who he was and what he'd done.
Time stood still as she heard a gun go off, then realised she was back in the kitchen and the man once again had a knife. She jolted at the same time the man shouted out in pain and she saw blood leaking form his shoulder. He dropped the knife and ran out of the kitchen door.
Kate stood still for a moment unsure of what had happened. She heard a noise and looked down to see her father laying in the doorway of the living room and kitchen. She ran over going from the little girl she was to the woman again. She bent down. Blood was pooling out on the floor below her fathers body.
"Dad? Dad?!" Kate called desperate. He looked up at her with glazed eyes and smiled gently.
"Kate, honey. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay...But there's something I need you to remember."
He was overcome with a coughing fit and Kate could feel the tears streaming down her face. When he'd finished he looked back up at her.
"You remember our secret hiding place?" Kate nodded.
"There's something there that I need you to give to Josh - he's on his way. I want you to show him where it is okay?" Kate nodded again, numbly.
"But why can't you show him?" The little girl was back.
"Honey, you remember that talk I had with you about me not always being here?" The little girl nodded.
"This may be that time when I have to go away and live with nanna and granddad. I need you to be strong for me. Can you do that?" The little girl nodded.
"That's my girl. I love you sweetie. There's one other thing I need you to do. I need you to remember our song. You remember our song?"
"Yes." And she started to sing. It was Amazing Grace. After a moment her father joined in disjointedly until he gently slipped away listening to his little girl singing.
It wasn't long before Josh came bursting into their house with a group of armed men. He found Kate sitting there hugging her dad and singing quietly as the tears flowed freely.
Downstairs Hannibal was putting the kettle on in the kitchen when he heard Kate cry out. Fearing the worst he ran out into the hall and up the stairs, throwing open her door.
He found her sitting up in bed, tears streaming down her face, fumbling in the dark for the lamp. He moved over and sat on the edge of the bed turning it on for her. When she realised she was not alone and no longer in the dream and reached for him and he leaned in. She clung to him, stunning him momentarily from the tight grip, but then returned the hug comfortingly. He held her until her sobs calmed, then pulled her back and held her shoulders.
"You okay?" She nodded, shakily.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"I was dreaming, it was something that happened long ago." She looked up at him. "My parents didn't just die when I was eight. They were murdered." She stared out into the distance. Hannibal looked shocked.
"I'd forgotten. There was this man, he came into our house and stabbed my father who was working in the study. Then he came into the kitchen. My mum dropped a glass she was cleaning and shouting for my dad. He never came. He killed her, then he turned on me. I would be dead now if it wasn't for my fathers stubborn mind. He'd pulled himself to the door and shot at the man, wounding him in the shoulder. He ran. I went to my dad, and we sang. We sang our song until Josh, my fathers partner got there, he'd been on the phone with my father when he was stabbed. It wasn't till he arrived that I realised that my dad had died in my arms. I remember now. I went into shock didn't remember what had happened, not until now."
She took a breath. Hannibal just sat and looked at her. For some reason he had a feeling that she was concealing something but he didn't want to push her.
"Why don't you try and get some sleep now. I'll stay with you." She looked at him.
"Thank you." She smiled a bit.
"I think everything's gonna be okay now. It's nearly over."
Hannibal nodded figuring she meant that her demons were free and could no longer haunt her. What he didn't know was that the man who had killed her was the same man in the warehouse and in her house, and the man she knew was killing her friends and looking for her. She knew what she had to do now. She had to go to that secret place, had to finish her fathers work - whatever that may be.
She closes her eyes and it's not long before she's sleeping peacefully again. Hannibal bends across and gently kisses her forehead, then silently leaves. As he heads down the stairs Murdock and Face enter with the pizza's. Straight away Murdock knows that something is wrong.
"Kate?" He starts to run up the stairs but Hannibal stops him.
"Calm down, Murdock. She's okay. Just another nightmare. She told me everything." And he proceeded to explain to Murdock exactly what she had told him, and that she seems okay with it now. Her demons are out.
"Go and stay with her until she wakes, Murdock. I'm sure she wants to be with you."
"That's muchacho."
And he stands and heads upstairs. She's still sleeping peacefully when he enters and he goes and sits by her, taking her hand. For a long time he just sits in silence, then he sighs.
"I love you. I can't help it. I just do. I know I can live without you, I've been there. I just don't want to. It's not a nice place. I'll wait for you, because I love you."
And with that he leaned back in the chair and fell asleep. Kate silently opened her eyes and smiled gently to herself before falling back asleep.
*****
She could feel the warmth of the sun on her face before she'd even opened her eyes. When she did open them and look towards the window she could see Murdock standing there, staring out. She smiled to herself. She knew that as soon as she had finished what her father had started she could go back to loving him completely and telling him how much she loved him.
"Murdock."
He turned and looked at her. She smiled and he felt the relief spreading over him. He went over to her, sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into an embrace. She relaxed in his hold, her arms going around his shoulder and behind his neck. His arms were around her waist and up her back holding on tight and she felt secure.
That's it. Short and sweet. Now to get the next past done. Reviews please.