Notice. I would like to heartily thank everyone who's reviewed. You have no
clue how scrumdidilyumptious it makes me feel. And thanks for sticking this
piece out. I know its confusing, but trust me, this chapter will make, if
not everything, much more understandable. Oh, and a big thanks to jace, my
beta reader of sorts, for asking me all the right questions, and inflating
my punctured ego.
Chapter four
Bleak, gray drizzle poured down from the soot-colored skies. Lis watched the rainwater trickle down the eaves and windowpanes while Legolas munched quietly, but contentedly on his bagel.
"Fine second day." She murmured into her palm, as the gray clouds outside swirled and darkened menacingly.
"Yes, isn't it?" he mumbled around bits of pastry. Lis smiled. She couldn't help it.
"Ah, see, it's not that bad, if you're smiling."
Lis tried her best to keep from grinning even more broadly by quickly taking a bite of her own bagel.
"Now, you keep your end, Lee. You said we would talk over breakfast remember?"
"All in good time, Princess. First of all," he said, leaning over the table towards her. He reached a hand out and gently brushed her bottom lip, pulling away with a smear of cream cheese on his fingers.
"There, that's better." He teased, a smile playing on his face. Lis noticed the faintest of circles under his eyes, and the ever-so –slightly disheveled look to his hair. Maybe he hadn't slept well last night either, she thought.
"Now then, you have questions, I'm sure."
Lis's eyes lit up at this and Legolas chuckled at her eagerness.
"How did you know about…" Lis touched her collarbone, her face draining of color and blushing lightly at the same time. Legolas took this in with his usual quiet thoughtfulness, the smile now gone.
"It's a strange thing, shadows. Sometimes they lie dormant and we don't even know that they're there. But sometimes they flicker to life at unexpected moments, and we are powerless to their throws. All we can do is wait until the darkness passes, or until someone brings us a light."
"Shadows…?" Lis echoed, her face plainly displaying her confusion.
"Our past. It forms shadows that follow behind us all our lives. Some shadows are good, some are bad. Yours are, very bad." His face fell somewhat now, he looked, older, and Lis could see the tiniest of lines feathering across his otherwise smooth forehead. Worry lines. She could've sworn they weren't there last night…
"Sometimes, our shadows are so great, that they cannot be contained in ourselves alone. That's when we require someone else to take care of us, to keep our pasts for us. Last night, when you, touched me," at this, the tiniest hint of a blush flamed up in Legolas's cheeks, and he cleared his throat hastily before continuing. "You passed some of your shadows to me, the part you especially needed help with. Everything you saw, I've seen. Everything you heard, everything you touched. The only thing I can't know is how you felt, and for that I am sorry. Last night, my mind keep flashing everything that happened at Mordor."
Lis watched him as he slowly pried his eyes away from her.
"I'm sorry for everything he did to you, Lis. And I swear, if I can, I'll make him pay."
"Lee, please," the look growing onto his faced frightened her. She'd seen it before, in Mordor. Sauron's face grew cloudy like that, like a tempest was raging underneath his skin. For all she knew there was one, but too many times the storm would be too much for him to handle, and he'd share his shadows with her, the only way he knew how. The bruise on her collarbone and few on her side suddenly began to pulse sickeningly with the thought of his hand. She used to love it, his hand. She held it when she'd first come to Mordor, after her parents died leaving her to look after Ridley, alone. He used to stroke her face lovingly with it, such a large, warm hand.
It wasn't until too late she learned what else that hand could do.
"Lis, Lis…?"
She could barely hear Lee's voice echoing in the back of her mind. Unknown to her, the shadow had slipped over her again and she was almost drowning in it. Lee reached out across the table and gently laid his hand on her arm. A simple move, but it proved enough to snap Lis back into the light. She looked at him, his eyes warm again, filled with concern and now, understanding. Lis found it comforting that he knew. She had wanted to tell Ridley ever since it had happened, but she could never bring herself to. Ridley was all she had, and she knew it would kill him to have to protect his big sister who he looked on as more of a mother. Burdening people with her problems, no mater how large and grotesque they were, was never something Lis had been comfortable with. Not having to voice her, shadows, to Lee made the situation far easier for her, even if she did feel a bit guilty. After all, she had imposed her past on him without his consent, even if it was unintentional.
"Lee, I'm,"
"Shh. Don't say anything Lis, you don't have to. Don't apologize, or thank me or anything, please."
"Lee, I'm so confused,"
"I know, I am too, believe me. I may seem to have all the answers, but underneath this charmingly assured and devilishly handsome exterior," Lis laughed, "I know about as much as you do. But please, I'm begging you to trust me."
Lis's eyes washed over his face. It seemed to change constantly. The look now was one of utter desperation, and his eyes, those eyes she never could've resisted, pleaded with her. Not to be touched, but to protect. In his eyes she saw comfort and warmth, and the promise of locked doors and strong, safe arms.
"Why is this so important to you?"
Lee pushed away from the table, suddenly too agitated, or energetic, or nervous, or something to keep still. He paced around the tiny table, every now and then grabbing onto the back of his chair, his knuckles going white.
"I have no idea. Its laughable, really. I mean, you show up here yesterday, and already I'm sacrificing my sense of normalcy for you. But Lis, what I saw last night, what's stuck inside my brain now, I cant just walk away from that. I may have tried before, but I cant now. Don't ask me why. Maybe I'm too tired to say no. Maybe I'm atoning for some great sin, I dunno."
"Or maybe," Lis cut in "You genuinely want to help me."
Lee looked at her, his face calm, but his eyes betrayed everything she needed to know, Lis was right. He wanted to help. Her. And that was enough for Lis. For now.
Chapter four
Bleak, gray drizzle poured down from the soot-colored skies. Lis watched the rainwater trickle down the eaves and windowpanes while Legolas munched quietly, but contentedly on his bagel.
"Fine second day." She murmured into her palm, as the gray clouds outside swirled and darkened menacingly.
"Yes, isn't it?" he mumbled around bits of pastry. Lis smiled. She couldn't help it.
"Ah, see, it's not that bad, if you're smiling."
Lis tried her best to keep from grinning even more broadly by quickly taking a bite of her own bagel.
"Now, you keep your end, Lee. You said we would talk over breakfast remember?"
"All in good time, Princess. First of all," he said, leaning over the table towards her. He reached a hand out and gently brushed her bottom lip, pulling away with a smear of cream cheese on his fingers.
"There, that's better." He teased, a smile playing on his face. Lis noticed the faintest of circles under his eyes, and the ever-so –slightly disheveled look to his hair. Maybe he hadn't slept well last night either, she thought.
"Now then, you have questions, I'm sure."
Lis's eyes lit up at this and Legolas chuckled at her eagerness.
"How did you know about…" Lis touched her collarbone, her face draining of color and blushing lightly at the same time. Legolas took this in with his usual quiet thoughtfulness, the smile now gone.
"It's a strange thing, shadows. Sometimes they lie dormant and we don't even know that they're there. But sometimes they flicker to life at unexpected moments, and we are powerless to their throws. All we can do is wait until the darkness passes, or until someone brings us a light."
"Shadows…?" Lis echoed, her face plainly displaying her confusion.
"Our past. It forms shadows that follow behind us all our lives. Some shadows are good, some are bad. Yours are, very bad." His face fell somewhat now, he looked, older, and Lis could see the tiniest of lines feathering across his otherwise smooth forehead. Worry lines. She could've sworn they weren't there last night…
"Sometimes, our shadows are so great, that they cannot be contained in ourselves alone. That's when we require someone else to take care of us, to keep our pasts for us. Last night, when you, touched me," at this, the tiniest hint of a blush flamed up in Legolas's cheeks, and he cleared his throat hastily before continuing. "You passed some of your shadows to me, the part you especially needed help with. Everything you saw, I've seen. Everything you heard, everything you touched. The only thing I can't know is how you felt, and for that I am sorry. Last night, my mind keep flashing everything that happened at Mordor."
Lis watched him as he slowly pried his eyes away from her.
"I'm sorry for everything he did to you, Lis. And I swear, if I can, I'll make him pay."
"Lee, please," the look growing onto his faced frightened her. She'd seen it before, in Mordor. Sauron's face grew cloudy like that, like a tempest was raging underneath his skin. For all she knew there was one, but too many times the storm would be too much for him to handle, and he'd share his shadows with her, the only way he knew how. The bruise on her collarbone and few on her side suddenly began to pulse sickeningly with the thought of his hand. She used to love it, his hand. She held it when she'd first come to Mordor, after her parents died leaving her to look after Ridley, alone. He used to stroke her face lovingly with it, such a large, warm hand.
It wasn't until too late she learned what else that hand could do.
"Lis, Lis…?"
She could barely hear Lee's voice echoing in the back of her mind. Unknown to her, the shadow had slipped over her again and she was almost drowning in it. Lee reached out across the table and gently laid his hand on her arm. A simple move, but it proved enough to snap Lis back into the light. She looked at him, his eyes warm again, filled with concern and now, understanding. Lis found it comforting that he knew. She had wanted to tell Ridley ever since it had happened, but she could never bring herself to. Ridley was all she had, and she knew it would kill him to have to protect his big sister who he looked on as more of a mother. Burdening people with her problems, no mater how large and grotesque they were, was never something Lis had been comfortable with. Not having to voice her, shadows, to Lee made the situation far easier for her, even if she did feel a bit guilty. After all, she had imposed her past on him without his consent, even if it was unintentional.
"Lee, I'm,"
"Shh. Don't say anything Lis, you don't have to. Don't apologize, or thank me or anything, please."
"Lee, I'm so confused,"
"I know, I am too, believe me. I may seem to have all the answers, but underneath this charmingly assured and devilishly handsome exterior," Lis laughed, "I know about as much as you do. But please, I'm begging you to trust me."
Lis's eyes washed over his face. It seemed to change constantly. The look now was one of utter desperation, and his eyes, those eyes she never could've resisted, pleaded with her. Not to be touched, but to protect. In his eyes she saw comfort and warmth, and the promise of locked doors and strong, safe arms.
"Why is this so important to you?"
Lee pushed away from the table, suddenly too agitated, or energetic, or nervous, or something to keep still. He paced around the tiny table, every now and then grabbing onto the back of his chair, his knuckles going white.
"I have no idea. Its laughable, really. I mean, you show up here yesterday, and already I'm sacrificing my sense of normalcy for you. But Lis, what I saw last night, what's stuck inside my brain now, I cant just walk away from that. I may have tried before, but I cant now. Don't ask me why. Maybe I'm too tired to say no. Maybe I'm atoning for some great sin, I dunno."
"Or maybe," Lis cut in "You genuinely want to help me."
Lee looked at her, his face calm, but his eyes betrayed everything she needed to know, Lis was right. He wanted to help. Her. And that was enough for Lis. For now.