Part of him was still very busy being stunned. Magic was real... something that he'd always considered nothing more than myth and legend, fodder for songs and tales. But, perhaps it shouldn't have been such a surprise, hadn't he once thought the same way about vampires? She'd even showed him, creating a slowly spinning globe of pale green mist-light. If that was what she'd termed a 'little magic', what could big magics do? Could magic offer the key to his quest where science had failed?
"What can the 'big magics' do if that's just a little one?"
She looked at him, a small smile on her face, reminding him of the Mona Lisa, and the enigmatic woman who'd posed for it. "Major magical rituals... I've seen people doing all sorts of summonings to call on really powerful things, and of course, there's banishments and bindings to get rid of those same big nasty things. Umm... Amy did this really powerful lust spell, and there was the one that turned everyone into their Halloween costumes..."
He could feel himself becoming shocked and amazed all over again. Especially since these were things that she'd actually seen firsthand. "What about... spells that affect the dead? Or bring them back?"
Willow looked at him, a look of puzzled thought on her face. "Affecting the dead? Well... hmm, I don't think you mean the rampant obsession spell. There was the soul restoration, which you probably don't need, and the zombie mask, ummm... I've seen a few rituals that are supposed to raise the dead, but I don't know if they actually work. Where are you going with this?"
"I want to find a way to become human again." It was out, his quest, his near obsessive search for a second chance. He could only hope that she wouldn't laugh.
Her jaw dropped. "Human? But... vampire... human... big gap. I've never heard of anything that could do that."
He felt that sliver of hope fall. "So there's no way? Not even with all the rituals in the world?"
"I didn't say that. I said I've never heard of anything like that. But I'm not terribly old, and I certainly don't know everything there is to know about magic. Just because I don't know about something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Or that something couldn't be created, although that's really complicated, and I'm not ready to try to make anything nearly that big on my own, and I certainly wouldn't have the power to cast it. But that's not the same as saying it's impossible, just that it's really hard and I don't know how." Her eyes had a determined spark, and there was what could only be the need to clarify her answer.
"Not enough power? How can you tell? Where would you start looking?" That sliver of hope grew.
She gave a small smile. "Everything that happens requires energy, and that energy has to come from somewhere. Most magic comes from people, normally from the caster, otherwise it's getting darkish and that's bad. But, like physics, the bigger the change, the more power it takes to make it happen. Making a vampire human would be a big change. Each person has so much energy in them, and it isn't always the same. If you try something that takes more power than you have, it can kill you. I've done a few things that flattened me, so I have an idea what my limit is, and that's way past it. You're talking about resurrection, because I can't see you saying 'I want to be a shambling rotting zombie' and umm... too much power for little Willow."
"Can you find a way?" If she could only see how important this was to him...
She glanced at the floor, her eyes suddenly troubled. "Nick? Have you... please don't get all upset, but have you considered that trying to become human again might not be wise, even if it's possible?"
Not wise? He felt stunned, almost as if he'd taken a solid hit to the stomach. "Why not?"
She sighed. "Because you don't react to things like a human, you react like a vampire. Take a good look at that jacket of yours. See all those holes? If you were human, you'd quite likely be dead, or paralyzed, or otherwise crippled. I really doubt you're prepared for the joyful experience of the supermarket and cooking, and... right, the whole jedi-mind control thing that you tried on me. From your records, I'm guessing you use it a lot. Humans can't do that."
She was starting to make a terrible sort of sense, which wasn't sitting well with him at all. "And the point to all of this is? Are you telling me that I can never be human again?"
"Nick... humans have to deal with things differently than a vampire. If you do become human, and try to react like a vampire, you're dead. You don't have the right instincts and reactions right now. You said you wanted a second chance to be human. That would mean being human, and without all the nifty vampire tricks you use so easily. No flight, no hypnosis, no getting shot and ignoring it. You'd have to learn to deal with that all over again, or else you'd get killed." She looked almost worried, and he knew it was for him.
"You're making sense." He knew he was frowning. She didn't really deserve him sulking at her, and he hated to sulk. But he had the feeling that he was sulking anyhow.
She gave a small smile. "The way I see it, you have two options. One, you can just accept that you're a vampire and find another way to make up for your past. Two, figure out how to live like a human, because even if I had a magic wish that could turn you human just like that" she snapped her fingers for emphasis. "Turning you human with human limitations and vampire reactions would take slightly longer than just shoving a sharp bit of wood into your heart, but it would have the same end result. If you want to become human, you'll have to learn to act human. If you want to keep acting like a vampire, you can't become human, you'll die."
"Are you sure there isn't a third option?" He didn't like the soundness of her logic at all.
She twisted her hair around her finger as she pondered his question. "umm... become human, react like a vampire and die, beat your head against the quest for humanity until your absolutely nutty... or just throw in the towel and die. No, I think either accepting your vampireness or relearning human habits are your best options. You probably aren't the suicidal type if you're seven hundred, and insanity's really scary on vampires."
He winced, unable to do anything but agree with her logic. "Insanity... very bad for a vampire is an understatement. But... exactly how am I supposed to learn how to be a human again? I really don't think there are twelve step programs for it."
She gave a small snort, and in a bad fake tenor spoke "Hello, my name's Nick and I'm a vampire... hi, Nick. Right, I can't quite picture it. You said you had been looking? Is there anyone helping you?"
"Nat is... Doctor Natalie Lambert actually. She's a local coroner, we sort of met professionally. I woke up on one of her tables after an especially tough shift." He had the oddest feeling, as if he expected Willow to be jealous of Natalie. But why would she be?
"Ouch... there's that reacting like a vampire thing again. Have the two of you been trying things? I mean, of course, but what have you been trying?" Willow had a thoughtful look, one that reminded him of Nat on one of her new ideas.
Nick managed to keep from audibly sighing in relief when she changed the subject. "We've mainly been trying to start up a normal digestion and body processes. Protein shakes and no more human blood, even bottled. The success has been... minimal."
Willow made a face. "Protein shakes? Eeeuuuww... I tried one of Buffy's once, and it had to have been the nastiest tasting... ugh. How about this one... try to go one whole week on your job as a detective without hypnotizing people into cooperation. Human's generally can't do that, so if you want to be human, you should learn to do without. And, if something really bad happens, or you slip up and do hypnotize, it's not going to have the same effect as if you were... I don't know, testing super sun block or something."
He could feel himself smile as he considered her suggestion. Logically, he couldn't argue that humans couldn't do instant hypnosis and mind control. If he did become human, he wouldn't have it. So, if he tried to adjust gradually... "Certainly wouldn't be as difficult as some of those protein drinks. Do you really think it would work?"
She looked at him, her eyes sparkling. "Meaning do I think we'll find a way to make you human? I have no idea. Do I think trying to manage without hypnosis will be good for you? Absolutely. You're supposed to be able to figure things out without it anyhow."
He couldn't help grinning at her. "Are you always like this?"
"Well, this is pretty normal Willow. What, I'm supposed to be all freaked out by vampires being real? You're about three years too late. Shocked that you aren't ecstatic about having forever? A few years too late again, I watched Angel brooding and we all covered that. And I already told you, it isn't part time sharp teeth that make me think someone's a monster. So, you're not a monster to me. And... umm..." She was turning an interesting shade of pink. "I enjoyed hanging out with you, but I should probably be going for now. I'm sure you have things to do... that don't involve me. Maybe we can get together again sometime."
He was still smiling at her as she left his home, feeling oddly unbalanced by her. She was still utterly baffling to him. But it definitely felt good that she didn't think he was a monster.
end part 11.
Willow was still shaking her head as she made her way towards her car. Nick thought he wanted to become human again. She'd never heard of such a thing happening, and had suspicions that it might be nearly impossible. But he wouldn't survive if he just... woke up human. Her first meeting with him had firmly set the pattern: Nick reacted like a vampire. Vampire being threatening, snarl back with sharp pointy teeth. Someone saw something they shouldn't? Try to make them forget everything. Someone's got a gun pointed at him? No problem, he'll just wake up later if it's very bad. Person running away? Use superhuman speed and strength to grab them... she still had a bruise on her elbow from that.
He'd never make it as a human. He depended on his vampire abilities. He'd have no clue what to do if they were gone.
Besides, what would he do for a living if he was human? Teach history? It sounded like his police work made heavy use of his abilities. And as guilty as he seemed to feel, how would he ever be able to atone for everything in the drastically shorter number of years a human had?
She'd just have to convince him to come to grips with his vampireness. He could try to atone with his sharp teeth and vampire skills... and maybe it even made some sort of karmic sense that way. Use the vampire tricks to do bad, use them to do your penance. There was a certain simplicity to the idea.
Even having only known him less than a week, she was certain the idea would annoy him a great deal. He seemed to have this weird thing where he thought being a vampire made him all scary and evil or something. She'd ascribe it to too many Hollywood movies, except that he predated them by a long time. Maybe he just wanted to make himself suffer? Hadn't there been some weird Christian splinter groups that had done things like that? Flagellations or Flagellants... something like that. With a small sigh, she decided that the name was unimportant to the issue.
No, the issue was how to essentially convince Nick that he could do good as a vampire without him figuring out that she was trying to convince him of that. She was setting herself up to try to outsmart a centuries old vampire, and play a gentle psychological game with him. It sounded so... calculatingly devious that way.
Well, apparently Sunnydale had left her with a taste for potentially lethal challenges, because there was no way that this was a safe, sensible plan. Actually, sense dictated that she should wait until daytime and drive as far from this place as possible. Find a nice, safe place to live and pretend that there was no such thing as vampires, no demons.
It seemed that Willow wasn't very good at sensible either. She wanted to stay. There were some promising universities, and great museums. The per capita death rate was significantly lower than Sunnydale, and the number that would be the Sunnydale 'unusual deaths', meaning vampire or demons, was so low that it had stunned her. They normally had more in Sunnydale every month than Toronto had in a year. Unless some of the seriously higher disappearance figures were actually killed and the bodies never found... and wasn't she sounding morbid now?
She didn't see the speck overhead that was the vampire from the alley. Didn't see him glance down and recognize her mane of bright red hair, or notice the way he dropped to the roof of one of the nearby buildings, leaning over watching her, eyes glowing green gold in the darkness.
Nathan Walters had initially dismissed the tasty looking redhead as no more than a particularly tempting meal. But now, he was having second thoughts. Why simply kill her when he could keep her? Surely he could have more fun if he kept her around. And she seemed so pretty...
Carefully, he followed her, wanting to make certain that the older vampire that had chased him off before wasn't stalking her as well. He couldn't fight one that much older and stronger than he was. But he didn't see the elder.
Red got into a car, and drove away, forcing Nathan to take to the air again to follow her. She would be his, and this time, nobody would be able to interfere.
Except that in order to remain undetected, he had to fly fairly high. When she parked by the hotel, he was just slow enough descending that she had time to get into the room, closing the door behind her with the particular click of a lock.
Growling, he reached out, trying to rip the door from it's hinges and take her, only to have this burning pain jolt into his hand as he came in contact with her oddly damp doorknob.
Inside, she was muttering something about the door trying to squish her, and how it had broken one of her vials... the inconvenience of picking glass slivers out of her bag. She seemed unaware of the danger that she'd so narrowly escaped.
Nathan hissed at the door, taking to the air once again. Tonight looked to be fumbled, but he knew where she was staying now. It would only be a matter of time before she left the hotel again, and when she did... he would have her.
end part 12.
Willow had an annoying feeling over the next few days. It was like some dark cloud was looming over her, but not a physical one, more like a... like an ominous foreboding. She didn't like it. But, because she'd learned over the hellmouth that just because nobody else had a 'wiggy feeling', that didn't mean that you were safe.
She'd been trying to avoid being out after dark, and had managed so far. But she had a nagging sense of dread. Something was out there, and it wasn't Nick. This was something that meant her harm. It was definitely giving her uneasy chills, what Buffy would call 'the wiggins'. And unfortunately, she'd gone to pick up a few groceries, and the checkout line was taking forever. She had the feeling that it was already dark out, that she'd be here until midnight, standing in this line, watching the woman ahead of her's milk curdle in the cart.
It wasn't anything specific, but Willow had felt worried enough to tuck a wooden stake and a few more containers of holy water into her purse, even pouring some into her coffee. Which had sent her mind in totally uncalled for directions, wondering if a kiss from someone who'd been drinking holy water would hurt a vampire, and if so, how long would it last. But the only vampire she might be inclined to kiss was... She had no reason to be thinking about kissing Nick. There wasn't a relationship... there wasn't even anything... except that he'd seemed like he was flirting with her. And he was cute, and nice and smart.
She sighed in frustration. It wasn't as if she could demand the people ahead of her move faster, how could she justify it? 'I have this feeling that something's stalking me, but only after dark?' Yeah, that would go over so very well...
The last remnants of color were fading as she went to her car. Willow felt dread rise inside of her, like some terrible clawed beast trying to escape from her body. She dropped the bag in the passenger seat, praying the whole trip back that her feelings were nothing more than paranoia, merely dread without cause.
She might have been reassured to know that Nick had noticed her distraction during the few brief phone calls, and had decided to drop by for a visit. But then again, that might not have reassured Willow much at all, especially since Nick wasn't alone.
No, Nick had been brooding and considering Willow's suggestion. He'd decided that she'd made a lot of sense, and had idealistically figured that he could go for a week without using the hypnosis on anyone. It had been much harder than he'd thought it would be. Maybe if he went and talked to Willow, she could give a little advice for dealing with people without hypnosis? He stood up, and heard the rush of air that indicated another flying person had landed behind him. He could feel LaCroix.
"Nicholas... you look so somber tonight. Pray tell, what troubles you? Did you find the woman from the Hellmouth?" His voice was smooth as silk, and void of anything beyond curiosity.
Nick sighed. "Actually, I met her again because of work. She happened to end up involved in a matter at the museum... and we talked. LaCroix, did you know that there's magic? That some people can really use magic spells?" He turned, looking at his Sire, seeking any sign of a reaction.
LaCroix' eyes widened. "Magic? Magic isn't something very common, my boy. It was whispered of in the days of my mortality, but even then, people who could tap that power were rare. Should I assume that this woman spoke to you of magic? Did you perhaps try to drag her into your futile quest for mortality?"
Nick looked into his Sire's eyes, surprised to see that LaCroix was serious. "She told me that magic is real. And yes, I did tell her about my quest."
"What did she say about it? Did she offer you a magical cure?" LaCroix gave a small, tight smile. "Everything has a price, my son. Even miracles... sometimes, especially miracles."
Nick scowled, remembering Willow's words. "She told me that she'd never heard of a spell or talisman that could do that, and that to attempt it would be beyond her power. She also told me that it wasn't a good idea."
"What?" Clearly, that hadn't been anything LaCroix had expected. "Why did she think it unwise? I would have assumed that as a mortal, she would want fewer vampires."
Nick shook his head, trying to understand why LaCroix wasn't gloating over someone agreeing with him. "She said that I don't react like a human. That if I were to wake up a human, if I still had a vampire's reactions and instincts, it would get me killed."
LaCroix gave another wintery smile. "She sounds most... wise. What else has this pearl of wisdom told you?"
"Protein drinks taste vile to mortals as well." With an unrepentant grin, Nick lifted into the air, delighting in his ability to fly. Something had been bothering Willow, and he intended to drop by and try to figure out what it was. He was vaguely aware of LaCroix following him, but tried not to think about that for the moment.
Nick landed on a rooftop near Willow's hotel, for once drawing on the half remembered lessons on how to cloak his presence. He'd rather try to find out what was bothering her than have her babble nervously about... well, not quite nothing, but nothing that told him what was wrong. He wanted to fix whatever it was that was bothering her. Part of his mind conjured a little fantasy, Willow with a smile as bright as the daylight, looking at him with sparkling eyes. 'Oh, Nick... thank you so much.' And then she reached around his neck, kissing his lips gently, tentatively, as if he was new territory to explore and taste...
He was distracted from his fantasy by the sound of a car door slamming. Looking down, he saw Willow's car parked in the closest open spot, which was still across the lot from her room. She was already moving towards the hotel, apparently in a hurry. Something blurred from above, the motion catching his eye, and he looked to see a vampire diving towards Willow. It was the same one that had attacked her in the alley the night they'd first met.
Somehow, Willow knew of the vampires dive, and dropped her groceries, rolling to the side, her body twisting as she tumbled. She had to be terrified. She flung something at the other vampire, something that made him shriek and claw at his face. Frantically, Willow searched for something in her purse. With a sudden lunge, the vampire moved again, grabbing her purse from her hands, the contents spilling to the ground.
She made a small throwing gesture, her face pale. There was what looked like a spark of light that went from her hand to the other vampire, and he burst into flames, screaming again before falling to the ground, no more than smoldering ashes.
"Merciful Gods of Rome..." LaCroix's whisper held an awe, an emotion that Nick had never thought his Sire capable of.
Nick felt rather stunned and awestruck himself. She'd incinerated the vampire. No more than a gesture, and her attacker was smoking ashes at her feet... Willow collapsed to the ground.
Even while part of him was still trying to get over the fact that she'd just... well, just burned a vampire to ashes with a single gesture, Nick leapt over the side, landing neatly beside Willow, kneeling to see if she was alright. She was pale, and her body was trembling. More worrisome, Willow didn't seem to be quite awake, as if she was on the bare edge of consciousness. There was also, oddly enough, a puddle of water and broken glass over to the left.
"I think this particular lady is far more than first meets the eye, Nicholas." LaCroix was there, his expression once more unreadable.
That was when Willow began to stir again.
end part 13.
Willow could feel hands on her, one attached tot he arm under her shoulders, the other brushing her hair out of her face. Her head was throbbing, and she couldn't see more than a tiny speck of light. But she hoped that her vision would clear.
Especially since she knew there was a vampire very close... no, make that two vampires. Two very old very strong feeling vampires. And her with no more magic. This could end up being so very bad... unless whoever it was simply intended to kill her quickly and simply, thus preventing her from needing to suffer through the reaction that she knew would be coming later.
She heard a voice, almost painfully loud, above her. "Of course there's more to her than meets the first glance. She's... she's Willow."
Relief flowed through her. It was Nick's arm under her shoulders, one of which felt bruised from her hasty dodging. Right... Nick didn't want to hurt her, and he didn't sound worried. That meant that she would probably be fairly safe for the moment, and would most likely live long enough to have her bad reaction to using too much power without preparation.
Carefully, she opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as she did. She knew that the night hadn't gotten any brighter, and she wasn't seeing things more clearly, but the feeble light hurt. Someone was looming, standing near Nick and looking at her. He was an unfamiliar figure, a man with pale eyes and close cropped grey hair. He also radiated the feeling of a strong, old vampire.
"Nick?" Her words were a very soft whisper. "Who's the very old feeling guy looming over me? And... you're here... why are you here? Not that I'm objecting..."
Ohh, even a whisper was too loud. Her voice set up this dull, ringing echo inside her skull, pulsing behind her eyes. Ouch... pain was not her friend, but it was certainly a well known acquaintance.
"That's LaCroix. He was talking to me, and when I decided to come drop in on you, he... followed me." Nick's voice sounded very loud, and she wanted to tell him not to shout, except that she was pretty sure he wasn't shouting to begin with.
Willow frowned, thinking that there was something about the name... "He's the one you asked about hellmouths, isn't he? The one who's sensible advice was avoid them?"
"I did indeed tell him that, Pearl of Wisdom. Should I ask what else he's been filling your head with?" His voice was cool and smooth, like chilled silk, or like the cold air from inside a crypt, still and aged, and somehow not quite alive. Something about it seemed almost familiar.
Her vision was almost back to normal now, although all the edges still felt too sharp, and the light painful. "Some about how the vampires here aren't like the ones in Sunnydale. You can fly, which is a really unfair advantage..." Seeing him look as if he was about to move, she spoke again. "Don't step in the water."
"Why not? I assure you, vampires, even here, do not melt from a simple puddle of water." There was something there, something subtle and powerful. But she wasn't certain if it was a deliberate attempt at subtle hypnosis or simply the fact of his age and power.
She gave a small smile. "Even if it's holy water? Like I told Nick, I know some about vampires. I know what hurts them, and Holy Water works just peachy on the local type."
He glanced at the water again, and carefully did not step in it. "I shall keep that in mind."
Nick murmured in her ear, his low voice sounding like a normal conversation. "Do you think you can stand?"
She nodded, and Nick helped her to her feet, his hands holding her as he effortlessly straightened. She could feel herself shaking, and as she smelled the smoke and glanced at the man shaped outline of ashes, she shivered again.
"Willow? Are you alright? You're shaking... was that what you'd call a big magic?" Nick sounded worried.
She tried to smile reassuringly, but apparently had less than fantastic success. "The shaking is probably a result of the fear. The falling down was from too much magic, the shaking is from fear. I don't like getting attacked... it's scary." Shaking or not, she was actually standing now.
"You seem remarkably calm for someone trembling from fear... or it's after effects." Suddenly, it clicked where she'd heard that voice.
"I've been in the middle of scary before... and you have that radio show, the one with the odd commentary on life. Nightcreeping or something like that... This does explain that line about humanity though. A vampire would call humanity, meaning people, delicious."
He seemed to wince. "It's NightCrawler, and yes, that is my show."
"If it helps, I'm not calm inside. I just hide it well... comes from three years fighting nasty things on the Hellmouth." She looked at the ashes, the scent making her stomach twist unhappily inside of her, as if debating turning itself inside out. "eeuuuww... that's... oh dear. There are still bones... please tell me he's really all the way dead and isn't just laying there all smoking and scorched halfway to oblivion. I mean, ouch."
The ancient vampire gave a small not quite smile, and tilted his head slightly, something almost like a gesture of respect. "I assure you that he is quite deceased. How did you..."
Willow gave a tiny shrug, hoping to prevent massive waves of pain from making her head throb any more. "I called on the element of Fire. A bit of fire the size of a walnut... umm... vampires are flammable. It was sort of him or me, and I choose me."
Nick looked at her, a small frown on his face. "What exactly would be more frightening than that?"
Willow sighed, swaying slightly. "Where do I even start... there was the demon that accidentally umm... got scanned into the internet and became my personal stalker. Or Dru, this crazy psychic vampire that killed someone right in front of me. Umm... the room full of dead people that I found my sophomore year. There was the Hellmouth almost opening three feet in front of me. Yeah, I think that would be pretty high up there on the scary list. Trust me, living on the Hellmouth, there are things much worse than some random vampire trying to turn me into dinner. Not fun, but not in the top ten... or would that be bottom ten... umm... worst ten?"
Nick looked at her, a small smile on his face, one that looked almost fond. "You're babbling again."
"Yeah... babbling. So, where were you that you got here so fast?" Willow could feel the magic reaction starting, and she knew that her color would be even paler, possibly with a greenish cast.
Ducking his head almost sheepishly, Nick murmured "on the rooftop over to the west."
"You and your vampire tricks... least I didn't end up with a lump on my head. I think that's been more than enough excitement for one night though... time for me to go fall down and sleep for a few days... well, at least until noon." She knelt down, gathering up her scattered things with shaking hands before making her unsteady way to her hotel room door.
Looking back at the two vampires, she gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Nick. And it was... something to meet you, LaCroix. Night now..."
She paused only long enough to lock the door firmly, and staggered over to the bed, collapsing onto it's semi softness with relief. Willow let herself be dragged down into something closely related to slumber, and hoped for no dreams.
end part 14.
"I almost wonder if I should feel slighted." LaCroix' voice was a bit amused as he looked at the door that Willow had closed.
Nick glanced over at his Sire, not trusting LaCroix to leave Willow out of his manipulations and games. "I don't think this was a very restful encounter for her. And I have the feeling that if she were trying to insult you, it would be more obvious."
"Why Nicholas, you sound like you're defending her. Having a reversion to the knight in shining armor? Feeling the need to defend a fair maiden? While the maiden is indeed fair, she seems quite capable of defending herself." LaCroix had a small smile as he looked at Nick.
There was definitely amusement in his Sire's voice. It didn't sit well, and Nick found himself worried for Willow. "But isn't a knight-champion supposed to defend his lady from dangers that she might not see? Toronto has other dangers than one now charred... mugger."
Something else glinted in LaCroix' eyes, something that Nick couldn't quite decipher. "I do not think his intentions tonight were to mug her. I shall leave you to your thoughts, Nicholas."
"He's up to something. If I can only keep Willow from being dragged too deeply into his schemes... She doesn't need him messing with her life." Nick watched as the figure of his Sire receded in the sky, becoming a tiny speck and vanishing.
Of course, he would have to spend more time with Willow to try to keep her safe from LaCroix' schemes. He'd have to talk with her, and keep aware of what she was doing. He found himself smiling at the idea, imagining spending hours talking to Willow, her eyes sparkling as she elaborated some point.
To keep her safe from LaCroix... and if he closed his eyes and tried very hard, he could almost fool himself that that was his whole reasoning. Almost. But then, he would get another image of her sparkling eyes, or her shy smile, the way her pale hands fluttered like ghostly butterflies as she talked...
With a groan, he realized that if he didn't figure out a way to stop this, he would fall for Willow. She was charming, beautiful, and didn't think he was a monster. He could so easily fall in love with her... and it would never work between them.
Realizing what LaCroix had been implying, that the other vampire had wanted Willow, to torment, to taste and play with and possibly turn, he felt rage flow through him. He was growling as he stalked over to the pile of ashes that remained, kicking them into a scattered mess that no longer looked anything like a person.
"That is for trying to hurt Willow... That's for frightening her... That's for making her fall down... That's for thinking you could lay a hand on her..." He barely noticed that he was growling the whole time.
Willow deserved far better than to be dragged off by some vampire to be his... what would she have been? His toy? His childe? Either possibility made Nick feel like his blood was boiling.
And as Nick returned home, to his silent apartment and guilty memories, he admitted to himself that he would have wanted Willow for his very own. In his first century, perhaps he would have been the vampire swooping down from the sky to carry her away. Part of him wanted to do that even now.
He had no idea when that had started. But Willow was a beautiful young woman, and he desired her. He found himself wanting to run his hands over her soft skin, to kiss her until her lips were swollen and dark, her eyes glazed with passion. He wanted to taste her, to know if her flavor was as vibrant as her personality.
No doubts, he was a monster. How could he think of asking her to have a relationship, let alone one as intimate as his vivid imaginings with someone who drank the living essence of people, lived on others like a parasite? No, surely Willow deserved someone who could give her a life of sunshine and flowers, a family of adorable children with her sparkling eyes... The very idea made him jealous.
end part 15.
Willow woke up, her body aching with bruises, and her head having that curiously heavy feeling that told her she'd slept far to long, as well as a throbbing pain that said she'd used too much magic without preparation. Right, the mugger vampire.
She thought back to last night, remembering how Nick had caught her when she'd collapsed, remembering the pale vampire that had loomed behind him, LaCroix. That was his Sire, the person that he'd asked about Hellmouths, the person that she had the feeling he didn't want to depend on, or follow the advice of. Perhaps his Sire haunted him, looming in his mind much the way he'd loomed in the parking lot. It had been clear to her that Nick didn't want to become like his Sire.
LaCroix intimidated her. Oh, he'd been very polite, and rather charming, but... there was no forgetting that he was a very old, very powerful vampire. Anything he did most likely had a personal motivation, or maybe two or three motives. His actions would be carefully chosen to further his plans, and those plans could be measured in centuries. She could feel herself shiver at the thought. LaCroix was frightening.
But if she wanted to have any sort of long term relationship... friendship that is, with Nick, LaCroix would be there. Maybe not directly, and maybe she wouldn't see him, but he would be there, lurking in the background, watching Nick and his actions. She knew from the Watcher's journals that vampires were very possessive of their Childer, and took an interest in their actions for a very long time, even after their Childer had parted company with them. So, LaCroix would want to keep aware of Nick's activities, his life.
Did LaCroix know about Nick's hope to restore his humanity? There was no way that the carefully polite vampire that she'd very briefly met would like a plan like that. He wasn't the rampaging monster like so many of the vampires over the Hellmouth were, but he was most clearly a predator, one that enjoyed his perch at the top of the food chain. He would definitely not be amused at Nick's plan.
It was clear to Willow that if she wanted a healthy future in Toronto, it would be wise not to find herself on LaCroix' bad side. Not that she thought for a moment that he would be out stalking the night, randomly killing and leaving bodies... oh no, he would be far more careful about it, if he killed people. LaCroix would leave no evidence, and would certainly not be so... well, there wouldn't be witnesses. He probably did have a side that wasn't so polished and formal, and Willow had the feeling that she didn't want to see it.
"...and here I thought in Toronto, I'd be safe from becoming the pawn in some vampire's games. Is it a plus that nobody here is going to try to use me to get to Buffy? hmmm... need shower and breakfast before those sorts of deep thoughts." Willow made her way to the shower, part of her wondering if there would be a body or something to suggest one on the parking lot. Urg... no more thinking about dead bodies or the chance of becoming one until after her shower.
As it turned out, there wasn't a body, just sweeping arcs of ashes that looked like someone had deliberately kicked them into the widest possible mess that they could. She had the fleeting question of 'would the hotel manager be asking if anyone had seen a fire last night' before dismissing it as unimportant. She had intended to check out the possibility of higher education here, university or college sort as opposed to flying vampires sort, so she might as well go check into the actual money matters of the local campus or campuses, would that be campi? Ah, time to go look into how much an education would cost.
Colleges here weren't different in all ways from the ones closer to home, she still ended up waiting for a very long time to talk to someone who could give her the basic figures and information that she wanted. Tuition, fees, housing... Willow sighed, once again contemplating the high cost of an education. But her parents had promised a long time ago that if she graduated with a high grade point average, they would send her to college wherever she wanted, for whatever degree that she wanted. Valedictorian of her class should have been high enough to meet that part, so all she had to do was decide where to go.
A little corner of her mind whispered that it might not be as expensive if she had someone to live with, and wasn't Nick's place fairly close to this campus? Well, it was near here, and it had looked as if there might be room for more than one bedroom in his place... That corner that had initially brought up the idea of living with Nick started off on a smutty little fantasy of there only being one room, with a huge bed that they would be 'forced' to share...
Why was she having all these thoughts about him? Yes, he was cute, but she'd only lost Oz a few weeks ago! Wasn't it too soon to be feeling that way, thinking like that about someone? Well, she was definitely having naughty thoughts, but it was probably harmless, after all, Nick wouldn't be having any ideas like that about her, so nothing would come of it.
After all, Oz was the only person that had ever seen her as desirable... with him gone, so were her hopes for happily and passionately after... She didn't need the normal fairy tale life, with a shining castle, err... picket fenced two story house, two point three children and a Mercedes in the garage. She wanted someone to love, that would love her, and someone that wouldn't leave her, would stay with her always. If that person had a few little problems, like being all wolfy three nights out of the month, or... a real problem with sunburns, she could cope with that.
Once she'd returned to the hotel room, she called Sunnydale, wanting to let Giles know that she was thinking about staying in Toronto. After all, he'd been more of a guiding influence on her life than Ira Rosenberg had, so she felt the need to let him know how things were going.
She'd almost forgotten that she'd called in a nervous panic about flying vampires, and had spent twenty minutes convincing him to calm down, reassuring him that she was uninjured and still quite alive. Apparently, there was a small and slightly paranoid group of the Watchers that had some awareness of the flying vampires, and their ruthless enforcement of their secrecy. Giles was afraid that if the vampires discovered that she knew about them, she would be killed.
Considering that the very same possibility had crossed her mind, she didn't argue the point, instead trying to reassure Giles that the matter had been resolved without anyone killing her, so that wasn't a big problem anymore. Then, she'd mentioned that she was thinking about staying here for college.
Giles had flipped. There was no other way to describe it. He'd gone on about the dangers of large cities, the violence, the drugs, the expenses and difficulty in transportation... and he'd come back to the vampires, worried that she would be in danger.
Willow hadn't mentioned Nick or LaCroix, having the fear that mentioning meeting a two thousand year old vampire might give Giles a heart attack, and the fact that she was sort of becoming friends with a seven hundred year old former knight... Giles would definitely wig. It was in his own best interests for her not to mention anything about them.
Besides, if she went away, who would keep Nick from killing himself with this obsession of his? He seemed so fixated on becoming human that he might do something stupid. He needed someone to keep him from leaping off a bridge onto concrete, metaphorically speaking. And who else could manage to convince him that he wasn't a monster? Apparently this Natalie person didn't believe that, LaCroix presumably saw no problem with Nick-as-vampire, vampire-as-monster situation, so he was out. How many people would even know? It was clear to her, Nick didn't have anyone else that could try to break him of that bad habit of thinking he was an evil fiend.
And if she kept telling herself that she was staying for a good education and to keep Nick safe, she might even be able to sound sincere. To keep it secret that she was having naughty thoughts about him. With a sigh, she flopped backwards on the bed, wondering when her life had become so complicated.
end part 16.