Disclaimer: OH, COME ON! I don't own anything a regular 14-year-old
shouldn't, okay?? YAY! I'm glad we have an understanding. Okay, I own
clones of just about every anime character ever. But that's different. I
borrowed 'Skitty' from someone. I do not own that name, or Pupie. But Sevil
and Kat are mine! And Kairi's mine, too.
*drags Trowa, Duo, Heero, Wufei, and Quatre clones out of closet*
Trowa: Hey I found your toe socks, and a. Dress! *all gasp because I own a dress*
BEEN LOOKING FOR THESE! I got them for my b-day like.3 months ago? Burn the dress, Bob. *laughs maniacally*
K On to story. Wait. I must thank all reviewers! I FEEL LOVED!!! I'd like to thank. the reviewers, Microsoft Word 2002, Fanfiction.net, and Earthlink Total Access!!! And since I got 3 votes for Wufei, here it is. Bah, must let dog in first. Back.
*actions/noises*
[Narrative]
/camera changes/
Name:: voices
Chappy # 5 Wufei: The Secret of the Stuffed Cat
January 30, A.C. 198
/shot of Duo in pajamas, clutching aforementioned stuffed cat/
Duo:: Yes folks, here it is, in all its polyester glory. WUFEI'S STUFFED CAT SKITTY!!
*holds up crème colored cat, complete with pink nose and green eyes. and pajamas*
Duo:: You know, you'd think someone his age wouldn't sleep with a stuffed cat. Specially one named Skitty. I guess it's kind of cute. Eh. Now, remember the last episode, where we investigated Heero. Remember how he walked into Wufei's room and we learned of Skitty? Good.
*drops Skitty on ground*
Duo:: On to our program!
/cuts to image of kitchen during breakfast/
*everyone is eating and talking*
Quatre:: Maybe we should get a pet.
Hilde:: Like what? NO DUCKS DUO!!
Duo:: Damn! I always wanted a duck.
Heero:: Hn. Why do we need a pet?
Quatre:: Because their cute and fun and teach responsibility.
Kairi:: Responsibility, what's that? Responsibility, not quite yet! Respon-
Trowa:: Spare me, please.
*Kairi claws at Trowas' hand; Duo argues with Hilde; Wufei attempts to sneak off*
Noin:: Not so fast, Wufei. How about a dog?
Kairi:: Mpmh MPMH mphs!
*Trowa removes hand*
Hilde:: A cat, and we can name it 'Tigger' like on Winnie the Pooh!
Sally Po:: Heero are you choking?
Heero:: No, I'm laughing. sheesh.
Duo:: Why can't I have a duck?? I don't see why not! It can live in the basement, it's always wet anyway!
Kairi:: I REFUSE TO CLEAN UP BIRD SHIT SO FORGET IT! Plus it's MY house so I get to decide.
Hilde:: Let's get cats! Lots and lots of cats!
Kairi:: I had a dog and a fish and a cat and frog and a rabbit and a guinea pig once.
Trowa:: At the same time?!
Kairi:: No, sheesh, I had them in this order: cat, fish, dog, frog, rabbit, and guinea pig.
Quatre:: Okay good. I like rabbits, they're really soft and fuzzy and cuddly and-
Wufei:: Who killed grammar?
Hilde:: Shh. Can't we get a cat and a rabbit? I heard they can get along.
Trowa:: Yeah, until you leave the room. Maybe we should get a dog. They're soft and fuzzy and loyal.
*Heero pokes Quatre*
Kairi:: I 'member Pokey. she was sooo cute. Then she got beat up by a squirrel and bled to death.
*pokes Quatre harder*
Duo:: Lovely image at BREAKFAST! I vote for dog.
*tugs on Quatre's shirt*
Hilde:: Fine. Ger.
*yanks Quatre out of chair*
Quatre:: WHAT HEERO??
Heero:: No dogs. I'm uh, allergic..
Trowa:: Damn. So, cat?
Hilde:: YES!! CAT!! Thanks Heero!
*Heero and Hilde get into a glaring match*
Kairi:: Then cat it is!
/Duo's bedroom/
Duo:: And that, my friends, is how Pupie, Sevil, and Kat came into existence. I got to name Sevil, he's my cat.. Now about the cat.
*pets large black cat which runs underneath bed; footsteps heard*
Hilde:: DUO!!
*hides behind chair*
Hilde:: Wufei said he's gonna kill me for going in his desk!!
Duo:: Really now? That's nice, cept I'm doing something important here and unless you want to help me blackmail Wufei, leave now.
Hilde:: I'm in. What's with the camera?
*picks up Sevil*
Duo:: Wufei sleeps with a stuffed cat and I'm trying to find out enough to blackmail him so I can get my laptop back.
Hilde:: There was a notebook in his drawer, along with a bunch of other books and stuff. We should raid it, but only if we can't get the truth out of him with this.
*holds up small vial*
Duo:: Umm, may I ask what that is?
Hilde:: Truth serum I took from Kairi who got it from Hot Brad who bought it off Nick from Japanese class who made it I believe.
Duo:: Does it work?
Hilde:: We shall find out.
/kitchen during lunch/
*Hilde winks at Duo, Duo nods, Hilde pulls out vial*
Duo:: Hey Woofers, did Kairi tell you about what happened at school yesterday?
Wufei:: No.. Hey-
Kairi:: -Well, some kid thought it would be funny to run a pair of small, blue pajamas up the flag pole in the parking lot yesterday. And you know what else? They had a giant flag under it, and it read 'Wufei Has A Small-' and you know what else?
*Wufei blushes, then glares at Duo; Hilde slips contents of vial into his drink*
Wufei:: What?
Kairi:: Hot Brad says you should get it enlarged if your gonna let people take pictures of it.
*Wufei gasps; Hilde snickers; Duo and Kairi crack up, Kairi waves pictures around*
Wufei:: DUO!!! KAIRI!!!
*Duo shrugs; Wufei glares and takes sip of water*
Wufei:: I'd watch my back if I were you, Duo.
Duo:: Yeah, and I'd scrub my butt more often if I were you..
*Wufei takes sip of water, gets up and leaves; Hilde and Duo share a glance*
Heero:: Twenty bucks says he's getting his katana.
*all throw money onto table*
/shot of Wufei in his room/
*is polishing sword and plotting to self; whispers*
Hilde:: 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.0!
*Wufei gasps, clutches head, falls over*
Duo:: Did, we kill him?? How much did you put in his glass?
Hilde:: I think that's supposed to happen, look he's fine.
*they watch as Wufei sits up, blinks confusedly*
Wufei:: Mmmhmmmm.
Duo:: C'mon. Hey, what's your name?
Wufei:: Chang Wufei. ei.
Hilde:: If I didn't know better I'd say he's stoned. But I do so ask him already.
Duo:: So what's with the stuffed cat?
Wufei:: Skitty.ty. Names 'kitty. ty.
Hilde:: No, drunk.
Duo:: I don't think we're gonna get a straight answer from him. So, on to plan X. Into Wufei's room we go..
*sighs*
Hilde:: You make it sound like it's gonna kill us or something. I've been in there, it's not that bad.
Duo:: Hello, going in there is a reason to kill us according to Wufei. If he knew all the times it wasn't me that messed with his stuff. you go in there once and you're labeled for life.
*Wufei hiccups and falls over; they leave*
/cut to scene of Wufei's room in the dark/
*snoring can be heard; Hilde takes up post near Wufei*
[If you look closely, you can just see Skittys' tail sticking out under the covers. Now I bet you're wondering how we're going to get this out of Wufei, aka. Mr. Justice Pants. We may very well have an accurate time to pinpoint the birth of Skitty.]
*Duo walks into shot, sneaking towards desk drawer; slowly opens and pulls out beat up notebook; whispers*
Duo:: PAY DIRT!
*Hilde glances towards sleeping Wufei; reaches into pocket and pulls out pink lipstick; begins to draw all over Wufeis' face; finishes and they leave*
/cut to scene in Duo's bedroom at computer table/
Duo:: Yup, here it is, in all its justice-full wonder.
*holds up blue notebook*
Duo:: Let's see, since we've already pre-read this-believe me it's good stuff-I present to you, the 20th entry of Wufei's Journal!
*reads entry*
April 3, A.C. 194
Some kid gave this to me today, a little girl; a stuffed cat, of all things. How weak. The stupid thing is crème colored and has green eyes. She told me her name was Mai and the cat's name is supposed to be 'Skitty'. Mai looked just like Meiran only younger, about 8-ish. Dumb cat, I should throw it away, but it reminds me of her. Maybe I'll just keep it.
*end of entry*
Hmm. Some kid named Mai gave the cat to him 4 years ago? Weird.
*shrugs*
Duo:: At least we know he didn't come up with that name, I think I woulda died of laughter. And since its midnight and Heero's in the next room, that's not a good idea. Time to go photocopy this and swap it.. Oh and by the way? The whole 'Wufei on the flagpole' thing was totally Kairi's idea, coincidental. I assure you. Sometimes I think she likes to annoy him more than I do. But that's only when she's not shining laser pointers at subs or getting shoes thrown at her.
And, just like in the last episode, YOU get to choose who appears next. Yes you, the reader/watcher/reviewer/person-typeness. Your choices are:
Trowa
Quatre
Kairi
Hilde
See you next time!
/image fades to black/
Ah, yes. Another wonderful sugar/caffeine-induced fan fiction. I swear, if I could spell I'd do this more often. Oh, and in response to some questions:
Pete is, well, it's complicated. He's Kairi's friend and they pretend to go out. He's also hyperactive and in all of her classes. You can only imagine the havoc wreaked by those two.
The deer with Duo's Nikes? Hmm, to explain this now, or make it into another story. Maybe after I finish this little mini-series inside of a series of randomness.
Time to end this, I have to go with my dad to buy me shoes with wheels in them so I can for fill my dream of skating around school. Plus there was a fight today and I have to tell everyone about it.
Wufei: If you have any pity for me at all, send donations to Save the Woofer fund. Please, only you can save Wufei from HER! *points at authoress*
If you refer back to my fic "The Oreos" Wufei, you will realize that I am in control of everything. I will not take rude comments from you!
*drags Trowa, Duo, Heero, Wufei, and Quatre clones out of closet*
Trowa: Hey I found your toe socks, and a. Dress! *all gasp because I own a dress*
BEEN LOOKING FOR THESE! I got them for my b-day like.3 months ago? Burn the dress, Bob. *laughs maniacally*
K On to story. Wait. I must thank all reviewers! I FEEL LOVED!!! I'd like to thank. the reviewers, Microsoft Word 2002, Fanfiction.net, and Earthlink Total Access!!! And since I got 3 votes for Wufei, here it is. Bah, must let dog in first. Back.
*actions/noises*
[Narrative]
/camera changes/
Name:: voices
Chappy # 5 Wufei: The Secret of the Stuffed Cat
January 30, A.C. 198
/shot of Duo in pajamas, clutching aforementioned stuffed cat/
Duo:: Yes folks, here it is, in all its polyester glory. WUFEI'S STUFFED CAT SKITTY!!
*holds up crème colored cat, complete with pink nose and green eyes. and pajamas*
Duo:: You know, you'd think someone his age wouldn't sleep with a stuffed cat. Specially one named Skitty. I guess it's kind of cute. Eh. Now, remember the last episode, where we investigated Heero. Remember how he walked into Wufei's room and we learned of Skitty? Good.
*drops Skitty on ground*
Duo:: On to our program!
/cuts to image of kitchen during breakfast/
*everyone is eating and talking*
Quatre:: Maybe we should get a pet.
Hilde:: Like what? NO DUCKS DUO!!
Duo:: Damn! I always wanted a duck.
Heero:: Hn. Why do we need a pet?
Quatre:: Because their cute and fun and teach responsibility.
Kairi:: Responsibility, what's that? Responsibility, not quite yet! Respon-
Trowa:: Spare me, please.
*Kairi claws at Trowas' hand; Duo argues with Hilde; Wufei attempts to sneak off*
Noin:: Not so fast, Wufei. How about a dog?
Kairi:: Mpmh MPMH mphs!
*Trowa removes hand*
Hilde:: A cat, and we can name it 'Tigger' like on Winnie the Pooh!
Sally Po:: Heero are you choking?
Heero:: No, I'm laughing. sheesh.
Duo:: Why can't I have a duck?? I don't see why not! It can live in the basement, it's always wet anyway!
Kairi:: I REFUSE TO CLEAN UP BIRD SHIT SO FORGET IT! Plus it's MY house so I get to decide.
Hilde:: Let's get cats! Lots and lots of cats!
Kairi:: I had a dog and a fish and a cat and frog and a rabbit and a guinea pig once.
Trowa:: At the same time?!
Kairi:: No, sheesh, I had them in this order: cat, fish, dog, frog, rabbit, and guinea pig.
Quatre:: Okay good. I like rabbits, they're really soft and fuzzy and cuddly and-
Wufei:: Who killed grammar?
Hilde:: Shh. Can't we get a cat and a rabbit? I heard they can get along.
Trowa:: Yeah, until you leave the room. Maybe we should get a dog. They're soft and fuzzy and loyal.
*Heero pokes Quatre*
Kairi:: I 'member Pokey. she was sooo cute. Then she got beat up by a squirrel and bled to death.
*pokes Quatre harder*
Duo:: Lovely image at BREAKFAST! I vote for dog.
*tugs on Quatre's shirt*
Hilde:: Fine. Ger.
*yanks Quatre out of chair*
Quatre:: WHAT HEERO??
Heero:: No dogs. I'm uh, allergic..
Trowa:: Damn. So, cat?
Hilde:: YES!! CAT!! Thanks Heero!
*Heero and Hilde get into a glaring match*
Kairi:: Then cat it is!
/Duo's bedroom/
Duo:: And that, my friends, is how Pupie, Sevil, and Kat came into existence. I got to name Sevil, he's my cat.. Now about the cat.
*pets large black cat which runs underneath bed; footsteps heard*
Hilde:: DUO!!
*hides behind chair*
Hilde:: Wufei said he's gonna kill me for going in his desk!!
Duo:: Really now? That's nice, cept I'm doing something important here and unless you want to help me blackmail Wufei, leave now.
Hilde:: I'm in. What's with the camera?
*picks up Sevil*
Duo:: Wufei sleeps with a stuffed cat and I'm trying to find out enough to blackmail him so I can get my laptop back.
Hilde:: There was a notebook in his drawer, along with a bunch of other books and stuff. We should raid it, but only if we can't get the truth out of him with this.
*holds up small vial*
Duo:: Umm, may I ask what that is?
Hilde:: Truth serum I took from Kairi who got it from Hot Brad who bought it off Nick from Japanese class who made it I believe.
Duo:: Does it work?
Hilde:: We shall find out.
/kitchen during lunch/
*Hilde winks at Duo, Duo nods, Hilde pulls out vial*
Duo:: Hey Woofers, did Kairi tell you about what happened at school yesterday?
Wufei:: No.. Hey-
Kairi:: -Well, some kid thought it would be funny to run a pair of small, blue pajamas up the flag pole in the parking lot yesterday. And you know what else? They had a giant flag under it, and it read 'Wufei Has A Small-' and you know what else?
*Wufei blushes, then glares at Duo; Hilde slips contents of vial into his drink*
Wufei:: What?
Kairi:: Hot Brad says you should get it enlarged if your gonna let people take pictures of it.
*Wufei gasps; Hilde snickers; Duo and Kairi crack up, Kairi waves pictures around*
Wufei:: DUO!!! KAIRI!!!
*Duo shrugs; Wufei glares and takes sip of water*
Wufei:: I'd watch my back if I were you, Duo.
Duo:: Yeah, and I'd scrub my butt more often if I were you..
*Wufei takes sip of water, gets up and leaves; Hilde and Duo share a glance*
Heero:: Twenty bucks says he's getting his katana.
*all throw money onto table*
/shot of Wufei in his room/
*is polishing sword and plotting to self; whispers*
Hilde:: 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.0!
*Wufei gasps, clutches head, falls over*
Duo:: Did, we kill him?? How much did you put in his glass?
Hilde:: I think that's supposed to happen, look he's fine.
*they watch as Wufei sits up, blinks confusedly*
Wufei:: Mmmhmmmm.
Duo:: C'mon. Hey, what's your name?
Wufei:: Chang Wufei. ei.
Hilde:: If I didn't know better I'd say he's stoned. But I do so ask him already.
Duo:: So what's with the stuffed cat?
Wufei:: Skitty.ty. Names 'kitty. ty.
Hilde:: No, drunk.
Duo:: I don't think we're gonna get a straight answer from him. So, on to plan X. Into Wufei's room we go..
*sighs*
Hilde:: You make it sound like it's gonna kill us or something. I've been in there, it's not that bad.
Duo:: Hello, going in there is a reason to kill us according to Wufei. If he knew all the times it wasn't me that messed with his stuff. you go in there once and you're labeled for life.
*Wufei hiccups and falls over; they leave*
/cut to scene of Wufei's room in the dark/
*snoring can be heard; Hilde takes up post near Wufei*
[If you look closely, you can just see Skittys' tail sticking out under the covers. Now I bet you're wondering how we're going to get this out of Wufei, aka. Mr. Justice Pants. We may very well have an accurate time to pinpoint the birth of Skitty.]
*Duo walks into shot, sneaking towards desk drawer; slowly opens and pulls out beat up notebook; whispers*
Duo:: PAY DIRT!
*Hilde glances towards sleeping Wufei; reaches into pocket and pulls out pink lipstick; begins to draw all over Wufeis' face; finishes and they leave*
/cut to scene in Duo's bedroom at computer table/
Duo:: Yup, here it is, in all its justice-full wonder.
*holds up blue notebook*
Duo:: Let's see, since we've already pre-read this-believe me it's good stuff-I present to you, the 20th entry of Wufei's Journal!
*reads entry*
April 3, A.C. 194
Some kid gave this to me today, a little girl; a stuffed cat, of all things. How weak. The stupid thing is crème colored and has green eyes. She told me her name was Mai and the cat's name is supposed to be 'Skitty'. Mai looked just like Meiran only younger, about 8-ish. Dumb cat, I should throw it away, but it reminds me of her. Maybe I'll just keep it.
*end of entry*
Hmm. Some kid named Mai gave the cat to him 4 years ago? Weird.
*shrugs*
Duo:: At least we know he didn't come up with that name, I think I woulda died of laughter. And since its midnight and Heero's in the next room, that's not a good idea. Time to go photocopy this and swap it.. Oh and by the way? The whole 'Wufei on the flagpole' thing was totally Kairi's idea, coincidental. I assure you. Sometimes I think she likes to annoy him more than I do. But that's only when she's not shining laser pointers at subs or getting shoes thrown at her.
And, just like in the last episode, YOU get to choose who appears next. Yes you, the reader/watcher/reviewer/person-typeness. Your choices are:
Trowa
Quatre
Kairi
Hilde
See you next time!
/image fades to black/
Ah, yes. Another wonderful sugar/caffeine-induced fan fiction. I swear, if I could spell I'd do this more often. Oh, and in response to some questions:
Pete is, well, it's complicated. He's Kairi's friend and they pretend to go out. He's also hyperactive and in all of her classes. You can only imagine the havoc wreaked by those two.
The deer with Duo's Nikes? Hmm, to explain this now, or make it into another story. Maybe after I finish this little mini-series inside of a series of randomness.
Time to end this, I have to go with my dad to buy me shoes with wheels in them so I can for fill my dream of skating around school. Plus there was a fight today and I have to tell everyone about it.
Wufei: If you have any pity for me at all, send donations to Save the Woofer fund. Please, only you can save Wufei from HER! *points at authoress*
If you refer back to my fic "The Oreos" Wufei, you will realize that I am in control of everything. I will not take rude comments from you!