Chapter- 15 Grief For A Daughter, And A Friendship Born From the Ashes
Cole stayed there, holding his cold, lifeless daughter. He didn't even check to see if everyone else was alright. He stayed there, rocking back and forth, his world shattered again. How could his daughter have been full of life and happiness just a moment ago, and now lay still in his arms? He couldn't make sense of the world around him, and he just stayed there on the floor.
After about half an hour, Piper, and everyone else started to wake up. Phoebe even began to stir from being passed out. When she came out of the bedroom, she opened her mouth to ask what had happened. She quickly closed it when she saw the living room.
The furniture was strewn all over the place, and the windows were shattered, again. Phoebe then looked around and found Paige, Leo and Piper laying on the floor, trying to get up, but all three were still a little dizzy. She rushed over to Piper, and checked to see what had happened.
"Piper! Are you all right?" Phoebe asked, gently shaking her, to get rid of the dizzy spell.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Check on Paige and Leo," Piper managed to say, pointing towards the two who were about seven feet away from her.
"Sure, okay," Phoebe hurriedly said, before going over to Paige and Leo. Both stated that they were fine. Phoebe let out a sigh of relief. She then tensed again, when she heard soft sobbing behind her. She slowly turned to the source of the sound.
She saw Cole, bent over something, but from her position, she couldn't see what. As she slowly walked over to where he was, she got this sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Cole? What happened?" she cautiously asked. He didn't even seem to register her voice, as he continued to sob and cry. When she finally reached him and looked down, she gasped. There lay Kara, pale, cold, and lifeless. Her arms and legs were just hanging there, motionless while Cole continued to hold and rock her.
He seemed to have lost touch with reality, and the only thing real was the lifeless corpse that he held in his arms. Phoebe found that her own legs seemed to have their strength sapped out of them, and she slid to the floor next to Cole.
"Cole, wha...what happened?" Phoebe managed to weakly ask. Her eyes seemed to be fixated on her daughter, who she had just found, and just lost. She looked into Cole's face, and saw that he hadn't registered a word she had said to him. He had stopped sobbing, but a single tear came down from time to time.
His face was streaked with dry tears, and his body was shaking slightly. He seemed to have lost his will to live completely. Phoebe reached out and lightly placed her hand on his shoulder. Only then did he take notice to Phoebe and the rest of the people around him.
Paige, Piper and Leo had come to join Phoebe, and their faces were contorted with grief, horror, anger, pain and anguish. Cole took one look at them all, and he broke down again, and lay back down on the floor. He held onto the body of his daughter, and hugged her like a child would hold his teddy bear when he was afraid. Cole was feeling much like a little child, scared, alone, and lost in this cruel world.
Phoebe saw him curl up on the floor with Kara in his arms, and just collapsed next to him, crying feverishly. She and Cole were feeling pain beyond belief, and their combined pain and grief swirled together in their hearts and souls, and caused even more pain.
At the same time, Phoebe and Cole closed their eyes, wanting it all to be a bad nightmare, and when they woke up, it would all be gone, and everything would be fine with the world. When they did wake up, their lives weren't a perfect fairy tale.
At the manor
Phoebe sat in front of her mirror in her room, brushing her hair just to keep her hands busy. It had been a week after Kara had died. Phoebe still had this dull, aching throb in her heart, that she constantly felt tugging at her heart. She suspected that some of it came from Cole, but knew that she was feeling it as well. Even though she hadn't become as close to her as Cole had, but she still felt an immense love for her daughter.
She slammed the comb down on the dresser. 'Damn it!' Phoebe thought angrily. 'Why did I have did I pass out? It's all my fault! I should have been able to help protect her! Do the fates always take away that special someone who brightens up my life?' Phoebe didn't find out what exactly had happened. She just couldn't bring herself to talk to Cole and ask.
As she walked down the steps, Paige was walking towards the door to go get some stuff for a potion. She had been really concerned for Phoebe for the past week. Losing a daughter was really tough for Phoebe and she was showing it. She was pale in color, not eating or sleeping very much, and she got tired really quickly. If she continued on, Paige was scared at what that might imply.
"Hey Phoebe. You okay?" Paige asked tentatively.
"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine," Phoebe answered, almost like she hadn't noticed Paige. Paige noticed how Phoebe had been distancing herself from everyone, and no one dared to talk about either Kara or Cole. They were afraid that even mentioning one of them would hurl Phoebe into a state of depression.
"I need to go out Paige, I'll see you and Piper later. Bye," Phoebe said, before she brushed past her, not even making eye contact. Paige was concerned for her, but decided that she needed some alone time. Phoebe walked out of the manor, into the chilled air, that greeted her. She shivered slightly, and wrapped her coat around her even tighter. She walked around for awhile, letting her feet guide her. When she looked up to see where she was, it seemed she had ended up at the park. She looked around, a memory of Kara when she tricked Cole and herself into coming her. 'She really was sneaky, and really intelligent' Phoebe thought. Suddenly, she realized that she had used past tense, and her eyes welled up with tears again.
She found a bench and sat down, wiping her tears that had started coming down steadily now. Suddenly, a man sat next to her, but he paid no attention to her, so she did the same in return. When she looked up, she nearly gasped out of shock. She didn't expect him to be here.
"Phoebe..." Cole said out of surprised, when he looked to the woman who was sitting on the bench next to him. When he had sat down, he hadn't even noticed her, but now...
"Cole, whatâE¦?" Phoebe asked, hiding her tears. She couldn't finish her question, for her tears may begin again. They stared into each other's eyes, practically thinking the same thing. Through their connection, they felt each other's sadness and knew they were screaming inside. Each both broke down, right in front of each other, crying hysterically. They hadn't released what they felt ever since Kara died.
Cole opened his arms slightly, as though to give her a comforting hug, then pulled back. He remembered how she reacted whenever he was near her. She set aside his hesitation by leaning on him. She needed someone to hold her, right now, and they were both feeling the same pain.
"Cole, she's gone," Phoebe sobbed. She was gripping his coat tightly. She felt him nod and a few of his tears that fell on the top of her head. She looked up, and saw his eyes that were red from crying. His face had gone unshaven, and he looked like he hadn't slept much. She reached up and wiped a tear from his face.
"I know. I can't believe it. But she is gone," Cole said, choking on the word gone. It was the first time since Kara died that he or Phoebe had admitted that she truly died. Cole wrapped his arms around her, needing to hold on to something, and Phoebe needing to be held. They missed this feeling, and they were hurting too much to care what others thought, or their doubts. They just held each other to stop from going insane with the pain that wriggled and ate them up inside.
"Why does this always happen?" Phoebe quietly asked, when her sobs had died down, and she only sniffled from time to time.
"What do you mean?" Cole asked back, looking down. He was slightly confused by her question.
"Well, when I almost find complete happiness, it's always shattered. I mean, the whole thing with us, now Kara, is there something wrong with me?" Phoebe asked pleadingly up into Cole's blue eyes. From the look in those almond brown eyes, he could tell that she was probably more vulnerable than she ever has been in her entire life. He gently stroked her cheek, hesitantly and softly, not wanting to scare off.
"No," was his simple reply. Phoebe looked up into his eyes, a little shocked from the abruptness of his answer. When she saw his eyes, she relaxed. She saw the understanding in his eyes, and compassion and pain that were all melting in those beautiful blue eyes. She felt them edging closer and closer, but Cole stopped them. She saw that he had stopped and looked up confused. Cole, held her hand and looked Phoebe straight in the eye.
"Cole, I'm confused. What do you want?" Phoebe asked weakly. She knew that he wanted her, and now that she was offering, was he not interested anymore? She couldn't stand being hurt again, not so soon.
"Look, Phoebe. I know that you're weak and vulnerable right now. I don't want to take advantage of you, not like this, not ever. I will be here to comfort you, and help you through this, but I won't take advantage of you, I care about you too much to do that to you," Cole said, meaning every word. Phoebe stared at him in shock. She then realized that he had meant it, and smiled. He was always able to ease her pain, even now.
"Could I at least have your friendship? I really need one right now," Phoebe replied, smiling up at him.
"Of course. You know I would always do anything for you. I kind of need a friend right now too, so..." Cole answered. She suddenly hugged him, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Cole was caught by surprise by this.
"Thanks Cole. We'll get through this together. I feel better now," Phoebe said, a weight being lifted off of her heart. She could feel his heart lightening also, and she felt even happier.
"So do I. A walk in this particular park seems to always help us," Cole said grinning.
"Yeah, it seems it does," Phoebe replied, wondering why she seemed to always feel better after coming to this park.
"Do you want me to bring you home? It's getting kind of late, and cold," Cole offered. He had noticed that it was afternoon already, and it was getting cold.
"Wow. I must of walked around more than I realized," Phoebe said, also noticing the time. She looked to Cole, and nodded, accepting his offer. She took his hand and stepped closer to him. He then blurred both of them to the manor.
Back at the manor
"Leo, she's been gone for most of the day. Where is she?" Piper asked worriedly of her husband. She was pacing back and forth across the living room in front of Leo and Paige.
"Honey, she's alright. I would've sensed if she was in danger or something," Leo said, trying to calm his distressed wife. He didn't want her to have anxiety or anything else that might upset the pregnancy.
"If that's true, than why can't you sense her?" Piper countered, still pacing. Leo stayed quiet after that. He let her pace and all three stayed quiet. All of a sudden, Cole and Phoebe blurred into the living room. Piper was so surprised, that she accidentally blew up a flower vase.
"Phoebe! What are you doing with him?!" Paige asked in surprise, her voice edged with anger and suspicion.
"I know what you're all thinking, and it's not like that. He just gave me a ride home, and nothing more. We are not back together," Phoebe said. She didn't want to hurt Cole more than he already was, but she wanted to quickly reassure her sisters. She felt a pang of pain that was coming from Cole, and she looked towards him. 'Wow, he really is good at covering his emotions,' Phoebe thought as she examined his face. What Phoebe had said really hurt him, but he wanted to hide that from her family.
He knew she could feel it though when he felt a pang of guilt coming from her through their connection. He looked to her and smiled, trying to reassure her. There was still a dull ache of pain, but that was alright.
"I guess I better go now. Remember what I said Phoebe, I'm always here if you need me," Cole said. Phoebe knew that he meant needing a friend and nodded, happy that she could tell him things and not be in a relationship with him. He gave her one more smile and then blurred out of the manor before anything could be thrown at him.
"Phoebe, what was that about?" Piper asked, eyeing her younger sister suspiciously.
"Yeah, and what was that, 'I'm here if you need me' line? Phoebe what's going on?" Paige asked, standing next to her crossing her arms. "It was nothing. We just came to an understanding concerning...¦" Phoebe said, trailing off not wanting to re-open that wound that had been sealed just a few minutes ago. She looked down, trying to conceal her feelings. Her sisters knew better though and knew she wouldn't do anything that would endanger them.
"Okay Phoebe. We understand, don't worry about it," Piper said, trying to show her sister that it was okay.
"Are you hungry or something? You were out for most of the day, and I thought maybe you'd be hungry," Paige suggested.
"Oh, sure, why not?" Phoebe answered, realizing she was starving.
Cole's Penthouse
Cole blurred in from the manor, and sat down heavily onto his couch. He felt like a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He was practically jumping with glee inside. He had at least gained her trust back, and was perfectly fine with that. Even if he couldn't be with her, at least he'd be close to her, not like when she was pushing him away and suspecting him for everything.
He heard his stomach grumble, and he chuckled to himself. He hadn't realized he was hungry, so he got up and went to the kitchen. When he opened the refrigerator, he saw the orange juice, and a stab of sadness went through his heart. Kara had really liked the orange juice. He gently took up the box and poured himself a glass. He looked at the orange liquid that had a little bit of pulp in it.
He drank a sip and it tickled his throat a little bit, and for some odd reason, it seemed sweeter than he remembered. 'Maybe it's because she liked it' a voice said in his mind. 'Maybe' he replied back. He finished the juice and went on to make a sandwich.
Cole stayed there, holding his cold, lifeless daughter. He didn't even check to see if everyone else was alright. He stayed there, rocking back and forth, his world shattered again. How could his daughter have been full of life and happiness just a moment ago, and now lay still in his arms? He couldn't make sense of the world around him, and he just stayed there on the floor.
After about half an hour, Piper, and everyone else started to wake up. Phoebe even began to stir from being passed out. When she came out of the bedroom, she opened her mouth to ask what had happened. She quickly closed it when she saw the living room.
The furniture was strewn all over the place, and the windows were shattered, again. Phoebe then looked around and found Paige, Leo and Piper laying on the floor, trying to get up, but all three were still a little dizzy. She rushed over to Piper, and checked to see what had happened.
"Piper! Are you all right?" Phoebe asked, gently shaking her, to get rid of the dizzy spell.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Check on Paige and Leo," Piper managed to say, pointing towards the two who were about seven feet away from her.
"Sure, okay," Phoebe hurriedly said, before going over to Paige and Leo. Both stated that they were fine. Phoebe let out a sigh of relief. She then tensed again, when she heard soft sobbing behind her. She slowly turned to the source of the sound.
She saw Cole, bent over something, but from her position, she couldn't see what. As she slowly walked over to where he was, she got this sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Cole? What happened?" she cautiously asked. He didn't even seem to register her voice, as he continued to sob and cry. When she finally reached him and looked down, she gasped. There lay Kara, pale, cold, and lifeless. Her arms and legs were just hanging there, motionless while Cole continued to hold and rock her.
He seemed to have lost touch with reality, and the only thing real was the lifeless corpse that he held in his arms. Phoebe found that her own legs seemed to have their strength sapped out of them, and she slid to the floor next to Cole.
"Cole, wha...what happened?" Phoebe managed to weakly ask. Her eyes seemed to be fixated on her daughter, who she had just found, and just lost. She looked into Cole's face, and saw that he hadn't registered a word she had said to him. He had stopped sobbing, but a single tear came down from time to time.
His face was streaked with dry tears, and his body was shaking slightly. He seemed to have lost his will to live completely. Phoebe reached out and lightly placed her hand on his shoulder. Only then did he take notice to Phoebe and the rest of the people around him.
Paige, Piper and Leo had come to join Phoebe, and their faces were contorted with grief, horror, anger, pain and anguish. Cole took one look at them all, and he broke down again, and lay back down on the floor. He held onto the body of his daughter, and hugged her like a child would hold his teddy bear when he was afraid. Cole was feeling much like a little child, scared, alone, and lost in this cruel world.
Phoebe saw him curl up on the floor with Kara in his arms, and just collapsed next to him, crying feverishly. She and Cole were feeling pain beyond belief, and their combined pain and grief swirled together in their hearts and souls, and caused even more pain.
At the same time, Phoebe and Cole closed their eyes, wanting it all to be a bad nightmare, and when they woke up, it would all be gone, and everything would be fine with the world. When they did wake up, their lives weren't a perfect fairy tale.
At the manor
Phoebe sat in front of her mirror in her room, brushing her hair just to keep her hands busy. It had been a week after Kara had died. Phoebe still had this dull, aching throb in her heart, that she constantly felt tugging at her heart. She suspected that some of it came from Cole, but knew that she was feeling it as well. Even though she hadn't become as close to her as Cole had, but she still felt an immense love for her daughter.
She slammed the comb down on the dresser. 'Damn it!' Phoebe thought angrily. 'Why did I have did I pass out? It's all my fault! I should have been able to help protect her! Do the fates always take away that special someone who brightens up my life?' Phoebe didn't find out what exactly had happened. She just couldn't bring herself to talk to Cole and ask.
As she walked down the steps, Paige was walking towards the door to go get some stuff for a potion. She had been really concerned for Phoebe for the past week. Losing a daughter was really tough for Phoebe and she was showing it. She was pale in color, not eating or sleeping very much, and she got tired really quickly. If she continued on, Paige was scared at what that might imply.
"Hey Phoebe. You okay?" Paige asked tentatively.
"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine," Phoebe answered, almost like she hadn't noticed Paige. Paige noticed how Phoebe had been distancing herself from everyone, and no one dared to talk about either Kara or Cole. They were afraid that even mentioning one of them would hurl Phoebe into a state of depression.
"I need to go out Paige, I'll see you and Piper later. Bye," Phoebe said, before she brushed past her, not even making eye contact. Paige was concerned for her, but decided that she needed some alone time. Phoebe walked out of the manor, into the chilled air, that greeted her. She shivered slightly, and wrapped her coat around her even tighter. She walked around for awhile, letting her feet guide her. When she looked up to see where she was, it seemed she had ended up at the park. She looked around, a memory of Kara when she tricked Cole and herself into coming her. 'She really was sneaky, and really intelligent' Phoebe thought. Suddenly, she realized that she had used past tense, and her eyes welled up with tears again.
She found a bench and sat down, wiping her tears that had started coming down steadily now. Suddenly, a man sat next to her, but he paid no attention to her, so she did the same in return. When she looked up, she nearly gasped out of shock. She didn't expect him to be here.
"Phoebe..." Cole said out of surprised, when he looked to the woman who was sitting on the bench next to him. When he had sat down, he hadn't even noticed her, but now...
"Cole, whatâE¦?" Phoebe asked, hiding her tears. She couldn't finish her question, for her tears may begin again. They stared into each other's eyes, practically thinking the same thing. Through their connection, they felt each other's sadness and knew they were screaming inside. Each both broke down, right in front of each other, crying hysterically. They hadn't released what they felt ever since Kara died.
Cole opened his arms slightly, as though to give her a comforting hug, then pulled back. He remembered how she reacted whenever he was near her. She set aside his hesitation by leaning on him. She needed someone to hold her, right now, and they were both feeling the same pain.
"Cole, she's gone," Phoebe sobbed. She was gripping his coat tightly. She felt him nod and a few of his tears that fell on the top of her head. She looked up, and saw his eyes that were red from crying. His face had gone unshaven, and he looked like he hadn't slept much. She reached up and wiped a tear from his face.
"I know. I can't believe it. But she is gone," Cole said, choking on the word gone. It was the first time since Kara died that he or Phoebe had admitted that she truly died. Cole wrapped his arms around her, needing to hold on to something, and Phoebe needing to be held. They missed this feeling, and they were hurting too much to care what others thought, or their doubts. They just held each other to stop from going insane with the pain that wriggled and ate them up inside.
"Why does this always happen?" Phoebe quietly asked, when her sobs had died down, and she only sniffled from time to time.
"What do you mean?" Cole asked back, looking down. He was slightly confused by her question.
"Well, when I almost find complete happiness, it's always shattered. I mean, the whole thing with us, now Kara, is there something wrong with me?" Phoebe asked pleadingly up into Cole's blue eyes. From the look in those almond brown eyes, he could tell that she was probably more vulnerable than she ever has been in her entire life. He gently stroked her cheek, hesitantly and softly, not wanting to scare off.
"No," was his simple reply. Phoebe looked up into his eyes, a little shocked from the abruptness of his answer. When she saw his eyes, she relaxed. She saw the understanding in his eyes, and compassion and pain that were all melting in those beautiful blue eyes. She felt them edging closer and closer, but Cole stopped them. She saw that he had stopped and looked up confused. Cole, held her hand and looked Phoebe straight in the eye.
"Cole, I'm confused. What do you want?" Phoebe asked weakly. She knew that he wanted her, and now that she was offering, was he not interested anymore? She couldn't stand being hurt again, not so soon.
"Look, Phoebe. I know that you're weak and vulnerable right now. I don't want to take advantage of you, not like this, not ever. I will be here to comfort you, and help you through this, but I won't take advantage of you, I care about you too much to do that to you," Cole said, meaning every word. Phoebe stared at him in shock. She then realized that he had meant it, and smiled. He was always able to ease her pain, even now.
"Could I at least have your friendship? I really need one right now," Phoebe replied, smiling up at him.
"Of course. You know I would always do anything for you. I kind of need a friend right now too, so..." Cole answered. She suddenly hugged him, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Cole was caught by surprise by this.
"Thanks Cole. We'll get through this together. I feel better now," Phoebe said, a weight being lifted off of her heart. She could feel his heart lightening also, and she felt even happier.
"So do I. A walk in this particular park seems to always help us," Cole said grinning.
"Yeah, it seems it does," Phoebe replied, wondering why she seemed to always feel better after coming to this park.
"Do you want me to bring you home? It's getting kind of late, and cold," Cole offered. He had noticed that it was afternoon already, and it was getting cold.
"Wow. I must of walked around more than I realized," Phoebe said, also noticing the time. She looked to Cole, and nodded, accepting his offer. She took his hand and stepped closer to him. He then blurred both of them to the manor.
Back at the manor
"Leo, she's been gone for most of the day. Where is she?" Piper asked worriedly of her husband. She was pacing back and forth across the living room in front of Leo and Paige.
"Honey, she's alright. I would've sensed if she was in danger or something," Leo said, trying to calm his distressed wife. He didn't want her to have anxiety or anything else that might upset the pregnancy.
"If that's true, than why can't you sense her?" Piper countered, still pacing. Leo stayed quiet after that. He let her pace and all three stayed quiet. All of a sudden, Cole and Phoebe blurred into the living room. Piper was so surprised, that she accidentally blew up a flower vase.
"Phoebe! What are you doing with him?!" Paige asked in surprise, her voice edged with anger and suspicion.
"I know what you're all thinking, and it's not like that. He just gave me a ride home, and nothing more. We are not back together," Phoebe said. She didn't want to hurt Cole more than he already was, but she wanted to quickly reassure her sisters. She felt a pang of pain that was coming from Cole, and she looked towards him. 'Wow, he really is good at covering his emotions,' Phoebe thought as she examined his face. What Phoebe had said really hurt him, but he wanted to hide that from her family.
He knew she could feel it though when he felt a pang of guilt coming from her through their connection. He looked to her and smiled, trying to reassure her. There was still a dull ache of pain, but that was alright.
"I guess I better go now. Remember what I said Phoebe, I'm always here if you need me," Cole said. Phoebe knew that he meant needing a friend and nodded, happy that she could tell him things and not be in a relationship with him. He gave her one more smile and then blurred out of the manor before anything could be thrown at him.
"Phoebe, what was that about?" Piper asked, eyeing her younger sister suspiciously.
"Yeah, and what was that, 'I'm here if you need me' line? Phoebe what's going on?" Paige asked, standing next to her crossing her arms. "It was nothing. We just came to an understanding concerning...¦" Phoebe said, trailing off not wanting to re-open that wound that had been sealed just a few minutes ago. She looked down, trying to conceal her feelings. Her sisters knew better though and knew she wouldn't do anything that would endanger them.
"Okay Phoebe. We understand, don't worry about it," Piper said, trying to show her sister that it was okay.
"Are you hungry or something? You were out for most of the day, and I thought maybe you'd be hungry," Paige suggested.
"Oh, sure, why not?" Phoebe answered, realizing she was starving.
Cole's Penthouse
Cole blurred in from the manor, and sat down heavily onto his couch. He felt like a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He was practically jumping with glee inside. He had at least gained her trust back, and was perfectly fine with that. Even if he couldn't be with her, at least he'd be close to her, not like when she was pushing him away and suspecting him for everything.
He heard his stomach grumble, and he chuckled to himself. He hadn't realized he was hungry, so he got up and went to the kitchen. When he opened the refrigerator, he saw the orange juice, and a stab of sadness went through his heart. Kara had really liked the orange juice. He gently took up the box and poured himself a glass. He looked at the orange liquid that had a little bit of pulp in it.
He drank a sip and it tickled his throat a little bit, and for some odd reason, it seemed sweeter than he remembered. 'Maybe it's because she liked it' a voice said in his mind. 'Maybe' he replied back. He finished the juice and went on to make a sandwich.