Chapter 6
I flew to him, tears streaking my face. He held me. My father, for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt his love for me penetrate my being. And I loved him. Pouring out my heart to him, he listened, intently. He seemed to care so deeply. I didn't even ask about where he had been. I told him of the letter, of Asfaloth's passing to Valinor, and of the dream. Most of all I told of the dream. Every detail of every sound, color, and movement. After I finished the vivid discription, he sat there, his thin, worn, but elegant hands at his chin. He seemed to be searching his mind for answers. Finally he spoke. "Arwen, this dream of yours, It isn't a good thing," His voice carried with a touch of sadness and concern. "It is very much true. I wonder..no, it couldn't be true." "What? What is it father? You need not hide anything from me. I have been through much and cannot be scarred any deeper into this immortal flesh." Suddenly he looked as if he felt guilty, and even more penetrated with sadness. "You are right. What kind of a father have I been these months. I could not see the pain in your eyes, when it was so obvious. You do not deserve that sweet. I wasn't there when I should have been." "No, do not speak like that. These have been my troubles; my life. You need not worry about my feelings. What is it you will not tell me?" There was a long silence in that small room. Then the gentle quiet was peirced by the soft voice of Elrond. "It is just that..I believe your dream is truth. Daughter, Aragorn is a good man, but man is what he is, and men are weak. I have been in aquantance with the weakest, and Aragorn in naught of the sort..though, he is still of that troubled race." I just stared, speechless at my own father mocking the man who had been as a son in his eyes for years. "For so many years, so many ages, the race of elves has helped hold up the men when they could not hold up themselves. We have tried to teach them what is right, show them the way. But their hearts are weak, their minds full of lust, jealousy, simplicity, and hate. There is nothing left for us on Middle Earth, there is nothing left for you. Our time for leaving is coming. The Gray Havens call out to us, call out to you, my darling. Will you not listen, hear the sweet ringing of their glorious bells, smell the clean, unquenched air of that astounding place. Won't you come..come with me?" "So you would just give up on them. Leave the burden of this place in their hands father! What kind of a leader are you, of such little faith? I love Aragorn, and I love you! This is not some childish love, this is my heart. Can you not understand? Do you not even remember what you felt as u stared into Celebrian's eyes and knew you could never leave her? Why can you not see?!" I turned away then, tears misting my eyes. "That decision is still far off. You have yet to decide. I leave you to think upon deep thoughts, daughter. Forgive me. I only speak of what I believe is right for you..my one daughter, you mean more to me than all of life. Good day." I heard Elrond stand up swiftly, and felt his eyes stare at my back. His robes shuffled as he turned towards the open door to leave. When he was gone, All I could do was cry. I cried for my father, for my mother, for Aragorn. It is embarrassing to admit, but I cried that day for myself, feeling worthless, feeling as if I had been cut with the sharpest dagger of grief, and I wallowed.
* * *
All the pain that I had held bottled up inside of me came pouring out like the melting snow after a winter of strife. I ran out of the hall I had found my father. The trees surruounding seemed to turn and bend as if in understanding of my misery. I still wore my robes and underneath my sleeping gown. With the speed I gathered in my grief, those night robes left my side and fell to the stony ground of the western courtyard, and I was left in but a thin night gown of satin. The very first leaves of Autumn fell upon the fabrics, but I cared not, and finally without a breath callapsed upon Gilraen's grave. Aragorn's mother was always a mother to me, and expecially after my own mother Celebrian had taken the ship to Valinor after her bitter meeting with orcs. Rarely had I spoken of this with my father, and thus him to me. "Gilraen, what is this heartache? This bitter sorrow..that I must encompass in my weary heart. This heart that holds the valor of immortality, long and never ending life, comes to you now, a mortal heart, for knowledge," Tears sprang from the soul of me as I stared blankly at the concrete loving face of the last mother I ever knew. "You knew my father, knew his strength, and yet the dear love that shines purely over his being. This has been my shield, what I grew to know better than this middle earth that is so dear to me. How could I forget this place, forget your son?" I listened intently and willingly to the stirring air around me. Of course there was no answer, but in my heart I knew she looked to me, and longed to hold me. "I love Elrond," Even my own words startled me in this perpetual shade. "I love your son, and this place that has held me in its arms for so, so long. My own knowing tells me what the right to do would be, but my heart is calling stronger than that. I know what I must do, and what you would have me do. I shall stay. Even though the sharp truth that I shant see the bright eyes of Celebrian, or my fathers wisdom worn face again pierces like the sharpest dagger, I know of what I desire, what I love, what hope shall deliver me. Sleep well my dear lady, and know that your son is loved and shall be until his dying day. Farewell." Death hit me. Though I knew it would come to that, I brushed the thought from my side and took up the path that I had chosen, the future of my own, now mortal life.
I flew to him, tears streaking my face. He held me. My father, for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt his love for me penetrate my being. And I loved him. Pouring out my heart to him, he listened, intently. He seemed to care so deeply. I didn't even ask about where he had been. I told him of the letter, of Asfaloth's passing to Valinor, and of the dream. Most of all I told of the dream. Every detail of every sound, color, and movement. After I finished the vivid discription, he sat there, his thin, worn, but elegant hands at his chin. He seemed to be searching his mind for answers. Finally he spoke. "Arwen, this dream of yours, It isn't a good thing," His voice carried with a touch of sadness and concern. "It is very much true. I wonder..no, it couldn't be true." "What? What is it father? You need not hide anything from me. I have been through much and cannot be scarred any deeper into this immortal flesh." Suddenly he looked as if he felt guilty, and even more penetrated with sadness. "You are right. What kind of a father have I been these months. I could not see the pain in your eyes, when it was so obvious. You do not deserve that sweet. I wasn't there when I should have been." "No, do not speak like that. These have been my troubles; my life. You need not worry about my feelings. What is it you will not tell me?" There was a long silence in that small room. Then the gentle quiet was peirced by the soft voice of Elrond. "It is just that..I believe your dream is truth. Daughter, Aragorn is a good man, but man is what he is, and men are weak. I have been in aquantance with the weakest, and Aragorn in naught of the sort..though, he is still of that troubled race." I just stared, speechless at my own father mocking the man who had been as a son in his eyes for years. "For so many years, so many ages, the race of elves has helped hold up the men when they could not hold up themselves. We have tried to teach them what is right, show them the way. But their hearts are weak, their minds full of lust, jealousy, simplicity, and hate. There is nothing left for us on Middle Earth, there is nothing left for you. Our time for leaving is coming. The Gray Havens call out to us, call out to you, my darling. Will you not listen, hear the sweet ringing of their glorious bells, smell the clean, unquenched air of that astounding place. Won't you come..come with me?" "So you would just give up on them. Leave the burden of this place in their hands father! What kind of a leader are you, of such little faith? I love Aragorn, and I love you! This is not some childish love, this is my heart. Can you not understand? Do you not even remember what you felt as u stared into Celebrian's eyes and knew you could never leave her? Why can you not see?!" I turned away then, tears misting my eyes. "That decision is still far off. You have yet to decide. I leave you to think upon deep thoughts, daughter. Forgive me. I only speak of what I believe is right for you..my one daughter, you mean more to me than all of life. Good day." I heard Elrond stand up swiftly, and felt his eyes stare at my back. His robes shuffled as he turned towards the open door to leave. When he was gone, All I could do was cry. I cried for my father, for my mother, for Aragorn. It is embarrassing to admit, but I cried that day for myself, feeling worthless, feeling as if I had been cut with the sharpest dagger of grief, and I wallowed.
* * *
All the pain that I had held bottled up inside of me came pouring out like the melting snow after a winter of strife. I ran out of the hall I had found my father. The trees surruounding seemed to turn and bend as if in understanding of my misery. I still wore my robes and underneath my sleeping gown. With the speed I gathered in my grief, those night robes left my side and fell to the stony ground of the western courtyard, and I was left in but a thin night gown of satin. The very first leaves of Autumn fell upon the fabrics, but I cared not, and finally without a breath callapsed upon Gilraen's grave. Aragorn's mother was always a mother to me, and expecially after my own mother Celebrian had taken the ship to Valinor after her bitter meeting with orcs. Rarely had I spoken of this with my father, and thus him to me. "Gilraen, what is this heartache? This bitter sorrow..that I must encompass in my weary heart. This heart that holds the valor of immortality, long and never ending life, comes to you now, a mortal heart, for knowledge," Tears sprang from the soul of me as I stared blankly at the concrete loving face of the last mother I ever knew. "You knew my father, knew his strength, and yet the dear love that shines purely over his being. This has been my shield, what I grew to know better than this middle earth that is so dear to me. How could I forget this place, forget your son?" I listened intently and willingly to the stirring air around me. Of course there was no answer, but in my heart I knew she looked to me, and longed to hold me. "I love Elrond," Even my own words startled me in this perpetual shade. "I love your son, and this place that has held me in its arms for so, so long. My own knowing tells me what the right to do would be, but my heart is calling stronger than that. I know what I must do, and what you would have me do. I shall stay. Even though the sharp truth that I shant see the bright eyes of Celebrian, or my fathers wisdom worn face again pierces like the sharpest dagger, I know of what I desire, what I love, what hope shall deliver me. Sleep well my dear lady, and know that your son is loved and shall be until his dying day. Farewell." Death hit me. Though I knew it would come to that, I brushed the thought from my side and took up the path that I had chosen, the future of my own, now mortal life.