Chapter Three~ Many Meetings
Big brown eyes stared straight forward as if sensing adversity from the Jedi onboard. Jyana knew she was being stared at. "Why aren't you on Coruscant already?" the man with those deep dark eyes asked.
Her hazel eyes flicked a greenish color as she looked up at the man in front of her and rose her eyebrow. Deciding that truth was the way to go, she said, "I've spent at least a decade on the Forest Moon of Endor in meditation."
Met Lyka's darkness about him was very much carried in his eyes as well as the rest of his appearance. "Curious," he stated to himself.
"Doesn't make much sense does it?"
He just shook his head.
"Not all Jedi must shift to the norm."
"Ah so you're a changling?"
Jyana's brows furrowed. "No, I am an Eleutherian."
"A what?"
"Eleutherian, forest people," she shifted into her classic form of dark brown hair and her pointed ears were well evident.
"Look like a changling to me."
"I am a mammal, a humanoid species who looks like it. Changlings are reptile in appearance."
Met wasn't convinced. J Solo came back to the back. She noticed Jyana's form she had changed into, and made a comment, "I always wanted pointed ears."
"Me too," Jyana joked with a laugh.
The smuggler shook her head. "We're almost out of hyperspace, get ready."
Jade Fel Horn kept to herself, tossing about a thermal detonator, one of the many in her collection. She was a Rogue Jedi, one who didn't follow the norm but was not of the Dark Side. She hadn't shared her reason for leaving the order, but it was her own.
As they approached the blue-green ball called Alderaan, Jyana's heart seemed to stop. She felt something, someone's presence. She could feel the Dark Jedi was there, as well as her Master, Mace Windu, but there was another presence she sensed that frazzled her mind. She had never felt this presence before, nor had she had this reaction to anyone's presence before. She closed her eyes and cleared her mind then of all thoughts.
It wasn't unnoticed. Since Jyana was up front with the pilots, her silence was well noted. J thought about questioning her, but saved it until they docked.
"You alright?" she asked as Jyana adjusted her outfit from underneath a black Jedi robe as they were exiting the ship and heading toward town.
"Just an odd feeling."
J looked at her puzzled and Jade came up as well. "You sense something?"
"Yeah."
"Odd. I don't sense anything."
J offered, "Your extra insight to the Force or something?"
Jyana was not comforted, and still felt not quite at ease.
The guys didn't seem to notice that of which the girls did. It was Met though that had somewhat even paid half attention. As they walked into the city of Aldera, they looked around with question marked on their eyes and were looked upon in like manner. Jyana was half expecting to be met out by the ship, but was used to escorting herself to where she needed to go so she wasn't too badly disappointed.
Suddenly from out of nowhere, Jyana jumped and caught something flying mid- air. She looked down at what she caught. It was a data pad dressed as a droid, fitted with a private message for her from the Dark Jedi himself.
"What the?" Jaden exclaimed as she had grabbed the thing without warning.
"What is it?" J asked.
"Message for me," she replied after putting the message in a pouch on her belt.
"How did you?" Jaden was shocked.
"I just did... no other explanation needed."
Met shook his head. "Changling," he muttered under his breath.
Jyana darted from whence she stood and grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against he wall. "I am not a bloody changling!"
Met's reaction displeased her for he had no expression on his face.
Jade Fel Horn looked up from her subconscious tinkering with her favorite weapon, and said, "Jyana, he ain't worth it. Put him down..."
Jyana glared at him and put him back down. It wasn't far down because Met was taller than she was, which made the whole event seem a bit hilarious... well at least Jaden was snickering to himself.
Met wore a smirk and snickered to himself, quite pleased with all he had done. He did not care whom he annoyed. He had much to learn...
"Met is very good at pissing one off," Jyana stated aloud to J while glaring at the smirking dark character.
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Keldin is getting married."
"WHAT?!"
At the mention of that statement, Jaden fell over laughing hysterically.
They approached the building and Jyana bid farewell to J Solo, Jaden and Met. Jade came with her into the building. Jade found herself alone though within a second. She the heard a shriek and whirled around to see what she thought was Homis on the floor. Looking up, Jade noticed Jyana putting a remote like device back into a pouch on her utility belt. Jade's mouth was open and her eyes were wide. Jyana looked though as calm as can be.
"You killed him?"
"It was a mild shock, he will recover."
Jade looked at her blankly.
"He wasn't responding to diplomacy."
After blinking a bit, Jade just shook her head attempting not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
The two robed women entered the meeting room and bowed to Jedi Master Mace Windu.
"Good to see you again Jyana," the Master greeted her, by taking her slender hand in both of his.
"Great to see you again as well," Jyana bubbled over and took her Master into a warm embrace.
Backing up, Mace acknowledged Jade with the nod of his bald head. He then looked back at Jyana. "I assume you have already met Xekral."
She smiled looking at the Dark Jedi. Xekral removed his hood from his head and allowed his face to be seen. He reached toward Jyana and took her hand and kissed it. "Pleasure to see you again my dear," he said with a wink.
"Ever the flirty gentleman," she laughed, "One would question your darkness."
Mace interrupted them by stating, "There is someone else I would like you to meet."
After noticing Xekral putting his hood back on, Jyana looked over at the light brown-ish red haired robed man. First thing she noticed was his penetrating blue-green eyes. She blinked and looked back at her Master.
The man introduced himself, "I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"General Kenobi? Oh! Good to meet you," she said with a large smile.
"Jyana I presume?"
"Oh yes! Sorry, off in a trance for a second there."
"What is it?"
"Vision... of future... I get those sometimes."
Mace smiled and said, "Jyana has been off meditating for a long while, so part of her is still in that state."
Jyana nodded. She trusted her Master with such assessments.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I wish to speak with Jade and Xekral alone." He then proceeded to lead the two out of the room.
Obi-Wan looked over at Jyana who was just standing there with a slight frown. She then looked up and noticed him and smiled brightly.
"Good to see the Dark Jedi here on our side isn't it?" she offered.
"Nice I guess. Just..."
"A little uncomfortable?"
"Yeah." He rose his eyebrow and smirked. "Do you make it a habit of completing other people's sentences?"
Jyana flushed. "Bad habit. Sorry."
He laughed. "It's alright."
"You fear the Dark Jedi, don't you?" Jyana inquired of the Jedi Master.
"Maybe a little. But more I fear the Dark Side and its power."
"The power of murdering out of anger and hatred."
"I have sensed it in my padawan, I think, and yet I'm uncertain."
"You don't like uncertainties."
"No indeed I do not. I am uncertain why Xekral is a Dark Jedi."
"His wife cheated on him, and he killed the other guy in anger and hatred."
"Then what is the difference?"
"Between what?"
"Between a Dark Jedi and a Sith."
"Sith... there can be only two at a time, no more, no less. If there are more than two, the wanna-be-Siths are killed off in some manner. Xekral killed off the last wanna-be, and I know t here is another out there."
"And Dark Jedi?"
"Only few know of them or have seen them. They prefer the shadows. They are many, but Xekral was the first. There is no Order to the Dark Jedi, at least not yet."
"There's more to this, I can feel it. So what's the real difference?"
"In revenge Xekral killed only the man who had slept with his wife. If he was to be a Sith, he would've killed Jolande as well."
"Jolande would be his wife..."
"In his heart he is still married. Killing the man did little good."
"Where is she now?"
"That I do not know. Xekral, in his rage could not see all the truth."
"Truth?"
"Sith cannot win women through normal wooing, but through a mind trick. The spell was broken upon his death."
"Sad..."
"Jolande is now stone. She contacted me by holo at one point recently. It was only a message to me and I could not respond. What she said will be forever etched in my mind."
~I do not vow to a life of chastity forever for I know that things my change in my life. But, I vow never to be so weakened by a man ever again. All men's advances will be, to me, mere words. My own flamboyant emotions are not to be trusted; they have lost that faith and can never regain it. My heart, though it was not what he wanted, is henceforth locked up and the key thrown away. It shall not be taken nor given. As to the idea of love: I will be skeptical; I will be critical; I will be cold.~
And with that Jyana was silent for a time looking off distantly.
"Poor girl," Obi-Wan stated.
"Us Jedi know not love," Jyana sighed looking far away, "We can never comprehend the pain that goes with a broken heart."
Obi-Wan was silent for a while looking at Jyana.
Mace Windu re-entered and asked to speak with Obi-Wan alone. The Dark Jedi followed in. Jade was nowhere in sight, but possibly off on her own again. Jyana knew the Rogue Jedi was perfectly capable of handling her own self.
So now Jyana found herself alone with the Dark Jedi.
It does not do to dwell on dreams, Jyana, and forget to live.
The words of her Master many years ago flooded her memory as she turned to face the dark hooded gentleman. She still questioned his darkness. She knew there was good and there was evil, but wasn't there a grey area? Xekral, in her mind, as well as the other Dark Jedi, were grey areas, an incomprehensible part of the Force. Xek has always been a friend, from the very beginning. Hate did not consume him, nor could it ever.
They traveled in silence towards the hanger where Xek's ship was and a ship for Jade resided as well.
Jyana noticed J Solo and her crew were fixing up her ship again. Met looked like he was yet again being a pest. Jyana could fell the frustration bubbling over poor J. But suddenly J's voice was heard.
"GET THE..." Jaden suddenly was thrown off the ship in a large explosion, screaming, "AWAY FROM ME!!!"
Xekral snickered at seeing this. Jyana looked over at the shaded face. "Jaden is such a character ain't he?" she pondered aloud knowing that it was Met that was yelled at rather than Jaden, it was just Jaden that yet again caused a strategically placed explosion.
"Indeed."
She rose an eyebrow. "So..."
"So what?"
She said nothing and waited for him to speak on something.
"He could've been a Jedi you know?"
"Yeah. I heard about that somewhere."
"Met him long before Jolande."
That name again. Jyana knew she didn't need to mention it first.
At the mention of the girl's name, even though he had said it himself, there was a slight growl on Xekral's part, but he suddenly was quiet again.
"So how's seclusion been?"
"Relatively quiet, peaceful, uneventful... and quite boring if you ask me. You?"
"Wasn't peaceful, but was enlightening."
"Why not peaceful?"
"I sense too much... disturbance..."
"Ah yes... You do not..."
"I know much more than you would think Xek."
"About the Dark Side?"
"I am fully aware of its power, but I will not embrace it. Ever."
"I wasn't telling you to."
"Good."
"If it wasn't for Osiris..."
Jade Fel Horn had walked by and at that name went on a rant, yet again. "Osiris is an idiot. There are no words to describe him... but idiot."
Xekral just snickered. He then noticed that Jade was in a tight-fitting flight suit and then smirked. He then let out a loud whistle.
The blue-green of her eyes flickered and she stalked back towards him. Jade smacked Xek upside the head.
"What was that for?"
Calmly she replied, "Cause you're an idiot."
"I'm not an idiot!"
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not." If he wasn't wearing his hood Jyana was certain that he would be pouting or something.
"Okay then you're a fool."
"Fine," he resigned, "You can call me whatever you want, even yours if you like, but just don't call me late for dinner."
Jade then thwapped him as Jyana smacked her own self in the forehead. "Idiot," the Eleutherian muttered so softly that no one could hear.
After Jade had left again to tinker a bit with her ship, Xekral was left to contemplation. Jyana could sense whom he was thinking about... again. Every time she saw him something in their conversation ended up about her... or something about her... or something about the whole bloody incident. Jyana was getting bloody tired of it.
Her mind was too strong as if she heard his thoughts like he was speaking them. She was at her wit's end on the matter. No longer did she care about hurting feelings. The truth was what mattered. She could no longer lie to him by omission of how she felt about the whole thing. "Get over her already... it's been 5 freekin years!"
After a slight growl, the Dark Jedi responded, "Fine, find a way to get her out of my mind completely"
"Are you sure you want that? I mean really... think about that... then say that."
"A man, when totally devastated, cannot move on from that event until something totally changes him. Mind tricks do not work on me, so don't try. I'm talking about something concrete, something real, that would change me enough to remove her from my mind"
I don't think he has a bloody clue what I'm even saying, or if he's even listening... oh well I'll keep trying to get across to him, she thought before she stated, "War can change one person, you have not yet experienced war, nor have you experienced the power of an Eleutherian."
Xekral shook his head and snickered, "As to the power of an Eleutherian, I wouldn't happen to know. And it isn't physical experience that I need. If that was all I needed, i could have gone to the lower levels of Coruscant and had my physical needs met - but I don't... And I dare say a mental transformation is necessary. We all carry with us experiences and memories that shape us, and without those memories and experiences, we cannot hope to prevent such atrocities from occurring in the future - to ourselves, or others."
Ugh... I can't even BELIEVE he thought THAT was what I meant... okay Jyana calm your mind and get this out. "You misinterpret what I mean by an Eleutherian's power. No one knows that power... The power combined by long life, many experiences, many memories, and many dark side pains. No Eleutherian has ever reached their full power. At their full power they can see both dark and light side, can have a cure for everything and can only be killed by their own heart, if it be broken."
"If you have a way to cure the pain in my heart, then I suggest you use it... on someone more worthy and, how you say, saveable. Myself... maybe I am saveable, but would never want to be mentally altered to fix a pain. There are some burdens we live with throughout our lives, which shape us in different ways. Some are good, others are bad."
"It is my own choice to whom is worthy, not yours. And I do not have that power... yet."
He raised his arms slightly forward and his palms up in resignation. "Yet.. or ever... there is only one thing that could redeem me from the horror that filled my heart and soul long ago. What happened to her long ago, I don't know, nor should I care. That is all I shall say on this matter." He then lowered his hands to his side, turned to the right away from Jyana and looked up at the sky as if searching for hope elsewhere.
Jyana glared off to the side. Stubborn as Hell like always. He'll never listen. He bloody WANTS the bloody pain. Idiot. "When you learn to listen to something other than your own head, I will explain to you that which you will not hear." And with that she left Xekral to his own thoughts.
She could've said so much. Xekral had died that day he killed Osiris. He had died to the light. Oh how Jyana wished he could be resurrected. Jolande would always cover Xekral's thoughts. He will never be satisfied until he got all the revenge he wanted. It was never enough. He will never be satisfied until the pain was gone. And he didn't care what anyone else thought. He didn't care whom else he could hurt in his quest. There was no peace, no matter what he said. He was NOT over it. He may say he didn't care anymore but he was just lying to himself and lying to everyone. The was no peace within no matter how hard he tried to wear that mask. He's too wrapped up in himself, in his own pain to see anyone else's point of view. He couldn't see, or probably wouldn't see, that because he killed Osiris, the pain will never leave him, until death... or until his resurrection from the Dark Side.
Big brown eyes stared straight forward as if sensing adversity from the Jedi onboard. Jyana knew she was being stared at. "Why aren't you on Coruscant already?" the man with those deep dark eyes asked.
Her hazel eyes flicked a greenish color as she looked up at the man in front of her and rose her eyebrow. Deciding that truth was the way to go, she said, "I've spent at least a decade on the Forest Moon of Endor in meditation."
Met Lyka's darkness about him was very much carried in his eyes as well as the rest of his appearance. "Curious," he stated to himself.
"Doesn't make much sense does it?"
He just shook his head.
"Not all Jedi must shift to the norm."
"Ah so you're a changling?"
Jyana's brows furrowed. "No, I am an Eleutherian."
"A what?"
"Eleutherian, forest people," she shifted into her classic form of dark brown hair and her pointed ears were well evident.
"Look like a changling to me."
"I am a mammal, a humanoid species who looks like it. Changlings are reptile in appearance."
Met wasn't convinced. J Solo came back to the back. She noticed Jyana's form she had changed into, and made a comment, "I always wanted pointed ears."
"Me too," Jyana joked with a laugh.
The smuggler shook her head. "We're almost out of hyperspace, get ready."
Jade Fel Horn kept to herself, tossing about a thermal detonator, one of the many in her collection. She was a Rogue Jedi, one who didn't follow the norm but was not of the Dark Side. She hadn't shared her reason for leaving the order, but it was her own.
As they approached the blue-green ball called Alderaan, Jyana's heart seemed to stop. She felt something, someone's presence. She could feel the Dark Jedi was there, as well as her Master, Mace Windu, but there was another presence she sensed that frazzled her mind. She had never felt this presence before, nor had she had this reaction to anyone's presence before. She closed her eyes and cleared her mind then of all thoughts.
It wasn't unnoticed. Since Jyana was up front with the pilots, her silence was well noted. J thought about questioning her, but saved it until they docked.
"You alright?" she asked as Jyana adjusted her outfit from underneath a black Jedi robe as they were exiting the ship and heading toward town.
"Just an odd feeling."
J looked at her puzzled and Jade came up as well. "You sense something?"
"Yeah."
"Odd. I don't sense anything."
J offered, "Your extra insight to the Force or something?"
Jyana was not comforted, and still felt not quite at ease.
The guys didn't seem to notice that of which the girls did. It was Met though that had somewhat even paid half attention. As they walked into the city of Aldera, they looked around with question marked on their eyes and were looked upon in like manner. Jyana was half expecting to be met out by the ship, but was used to escorting herself to where she needed to go so she wasn't too badly disappointed.
Suddenly from out of nowhere, Jyana jumped and caught something flying mid- air. She looked down at what she caught. It was a data pad dressed as a droid, fitted with a private message for her from the Dark Jedi himself.
"What the?" Jaden exclaimed as she had grabbed the thing without warning.
"What is it?" J asked.
"Message for me," she replied after putting the message in a pouch on her belt.
"How did you?" Jaden was shocked.
"I just did... no other explanation needed."
Met shook his head. "Changling," he muttered under his breath.
Jyana darted from whence she stood and grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against he wall. "I am not a bloody changling!"
Met's reaction displeased her for he had no expression on his face.
Jade Fel Horn looked up from her subconscious tinkering with her favorite weapon, and said, "Jyana, he ain't worth it. Put him down..."
Jyana glared at him and put him back down. It wasn't far down because Met was taller than she was, which made the whole event seem a bit hilarious... well at least Jaden was snickering to himself.
Met wore a smirk and snickered to himself, quite pleased with all he had done. He did not care whom he annoyed. He had much to learn...
"Met is very good at pissing one off," Jyana stated aloud to J while glaring at the smirking dark character.
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Keldin is getting married."
"WHAT?!"
At the mention of that statement, Jaden fell over laughing hysterically.
They approached the building and Jyana bid farewell to J Solo, Jaden and Met. Jade came with her into the building. Jade found herself alone though within a second. She the heard a shriek and whirled around to see what she thought was Homis on the floor. Looking up, Jade noticed Jyana putting a remote like device back into a pouch on her utility belt. Jade's mouth was open and her eyes were wide. Jyana looked though as calm as can be.
"You killed him?"
"It was a mild shock, he will recover."
Jade looked at her blankly.
"He wasn't responding to diplomacy."
After blinking a bit, Jade just shook her head attempting not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
The two robed women entered the meeting room and bowed to Jedi Master Mace Windu.
"Good to see you again Jyana," the Master greeted her, by taking her slender hand in both of his.
"Great to see you again as well," Jyana bubbled over and took her Master into a warm embrace.
Backing up, Mace acknowledged Jade with the nod of his bald head. He then looked back at Jyana. "I assume you have already met Xekral."
She smiled looking at the Dark Jedi. Xekral removed his hood from his head and allowed his face to be seen. He reached toward Jyana and took her hand and kissed it. "Pleasure to see you again my dear," he said with a wink.
"Ever the flirty gentleman," she laughed, "One would question your darkness."
Mace interrupted them by stating, "There is someone else I would like you to meet."
After noticing Xekral putting his hood back on, Jyana looked over at the light brown-ish red haired robed man. First thing she noticed was his penetrating blue-green eyes. She blinked and looked back at her Master.
The man introduced himself, "I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"General Kenobi? Oh! Good to meet you," she said with a large smile.
"Jyana I presume?"
"Oh yes! Sorry, off in a trance for a second there."
"What is it?"
"Vision... of future... I get those sometimes."
Mace smiled and said, "Jyana has been off meditating for a long while, so part of her is still in that state."
Jyana nodded. She trusted her Master with such assessments.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I wish to speak with Jade and Xekral alone." He then proceeded to lead the two out of the room.
Obi-Wan looked over at Jyana who was just standing there with a slight frown. She then looked up and noticed him and smiled brightly.
"Good to see the Dark Jedi here on our side isn't it?" she offered.
"Nice I guess. Just..."
"A little uncomfortable?"
"Yeah." He rose his eyebrow and smirked. "Do you make it a habit of completing other people's sentences?"
Jyana flushed. "Bad habit. Sorry."
He laughed. "It's alright."
"You fear the Dark Jedi, don't you?" Jyana inquired of the Jedi Master.
"Maybe a little. But more I fear the Dark Side and its power."
"The power of murdering out of anger and hatred."
"I have sensed it in my padawan, I think, and yet I'm uncertain."
"You don't like uncertainties."
"No indeed I do not. I am uncertain why Xekral is a Dark Jedi."
"His wife cheated on him, and he killed the other guy in anger and hatred."
"Then what is the difference?"
"Between what?"
"Between a Dark Jedi and a Sith."
"Sith... there can be only two at a time, no more, no less. If there are more than two, the wanna-be-Siths are killed off in some manner. Xekral killed off the last wanna-be, and I know t here is another out there."
"And Dark Jedi?"
"Only few know of them or have seen them. They prefer the shadows. They are many, but Xekral was the first. There is no Order to the Dark Jedi, at least not yet."
"There's more to this, I can feel it. So what's the real difference?"
"In revenge Xekral killed only the man who had slept with his wife. If he was to be a Sith, he would've killed Jolande as well."
"Jolande would be his wife..."
"In his heart he is still married. Killing the man did little good."
"Where is she now?"
"That I do not know. Xekral, in his rage could not see all the truth."
"Truth?"
"Sith cannot win women through normal wooing, but through a mind trick. The spell was broken upon his death."
"Sad..."
"Jolande is now stone. She contacted me by holo at one point recently. It was only a message to me and I could not respond. What she said will be forever etched in my mind."
~I do not vow to a life of chastity forever for I know that things my change in my life. But, I vow never to be so weakened by a man ever again. All men's advances will be, to me, mere words. My own flamboyant emotions are not to be trusted; they have lost that faith and can never regain it. My heart, though it was not what he wanted, is henceforth locked up and the key thrown away. It shall not be taken nor given. As to the idea of love: I will be skeptical; I will be critical; I will be cold.~
And with that Jyana was silent for a time looking off distantly.
"Poor girl," Obi-Wan stated.
"Us Jedi know not love," Jyana sighed looking far away, "We can never comprehend the pain that goes with a broken heart."
Obi-Wan was silent for a while looking at Jyana.
Mace Windu re-entered and asked to speak with Obi-Wan alone. The Dark Jedi followed in. Jade was nowhere in sight, but possibly off on her own again. Jyana knew the Rogue Jedi was perfectly capable of handling her own self.
So now Jyana found herself alone with the Dark Jedi.
It does not do to dwell on dreams, Jyana, and forget to live.
The words of her Master many years ago flooded her memory as she turned to face the dark hooded gentleman. She still questioned his darkness. She knew there was good and there was evil, but wasn't there a grey area? Xekral, in her mind, as well as the other Dark Jedi, were grey areas, an incomprehensible part of the Force. Xek has always been a friend, from the very beginning. Hate did not consume him, nor could it ever.
They traveled in silence towards the hanger where Xek's ship was and a ship for Jade resided as well.
Jyana noticed J Solo and her crew were fixing up her ship again. Met looked like he was yet again being a pest. Jyana could fell the frustration bubbling over poor J. But suddenly J's voice was heard.
"GET THE..." Jaden suddenly was thrown off the ship in a large explosion, screaming, "AWAY FROM ME!!!"
Xekral snickered at seeing this. Jyana looked over at the shaded face. "Jaden is such a character ain't he?" she pondered aloud knowing that it was Met that was yelled at rather than Jaden, it was just Jaden that yet again caused a strategically placed explosion.
"Indeed."
She rose an eyebrow. "So..."
"So what?"
She said nothing and waited for him to speak on something.
"He could've been a Jedi you know?"
"Yeah. I heard about that somewhere."
"Met him long before Jolande."
That name again. Jyana knew she didn't need to mention it first.
At the mention of the girl's name, even though he had said it himself, there was a slight growl on Xekral's part, but he suddenly was quiet again.
"So how's seclusion been?"
"Relatively quiet, peaceful, uneventful... and quite boring if you ask me. You?"
"Wasn't peaceful, but was enlightening."
"Why not peaceful?"
"I sense too much... disturbance..."
"Ah yes... You do not..."
"I know much more than you would think Xek."
"About the Dark Side?"
"I am fully aware of its power, but I will not embrace it. Ever."
"I wasn't telling you to."
"Good."
"If it wasn't for Osiris..."
Jade Fel Horn had walked by and at that name went on a rant, yet again. "Osiris is an idiot. There are no words to describe him... but idiot."
Xekral just snickered. He then noticed that Jade was in a tight-fitting flight suit and then smirked. He then let out a loud whistle.
The blue-green of her eyes flickered and she stalked back towards him. Jade smacked Xek upside the head.
"What was that for?"
Calmly she replied, "Cause you're an idiot."
"I'm not an idiot!"
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not." If he wasn't wearing his hood Jyana was certain that he would be pouting or something.
"Okay then you're a fool."
"Fine," he resigned, "You can call me whatever you want, even yours if you like, but just don't call me late for dinner."
Jade then thwapped him as Jyana smacked her own self in the forehead. "Idiot," the Eleutherian muttered so softly that no one could hear.
After Jade had left again to tinker a bit with her ship, Xekral was left to contemplation. Jyana could sense whom he was thinking about... again. Every time she saw him something in their conversation ended up about her... or something about her... or something about the whole bloody incident. Jyana was getting bloody tired of it.
Her mind was too strong as if she heard his thoughts like he was speaking them. She was at her wit's end on the matter. No longer did she care about hurting feelings. The truth was what mattered. She could no longer lie to him by omission of how she felt about the whole thing. "Get over her already... it's been 5 freekin years!"
After a slight growl, the Dark Jedi responded, "Fine, find a way to get her out of my mind completely"
"Are you sure you want that? I mean really... think about that... then say that."
"A man, when totally devastated, cannot move on from that event until something totally changes him. Mind tricks do not work on me, so don't try. I'm talking about something concrete, something real, that would change me enough to remove her from my mind"
I don't think he has a bloody clue what I'm even saying, or if he's even listening... oh well I'll keep trying to get across to him, she thought before she stated, "War can change one person, you have not yet experienced war, nor have you experienced the power of an Eleutherian."
Xekral shook his head and snickered, "As to the power of an Eleutherian, I wouldn't happen to know. And it isn't physical experience that I need. If that was all I needed, i could have gone to the lower levels of Coruscant and had my physical needs met - but I don't... And I dare say a mental transformation is necessary. We all carry with us experiences and memories that shape us, and without those memories and experiences, we cannot hope to prevent such atrocities from occurring in the future - to ourselves, or others."
Ugh... I can't even BELIEVE he thought THAT was what I meant... okay Jyana calm your mind and get this out. "You misinterpret what I mean by an Eleutherian's power. No one knows that power... The power combined by long life, many experiences, many memories, and many dark side pains. No Eleutherian has ever reached their full power. At their full power they can see both dark and light side, can have a cure for everything and can only be killed by their own heart, if it be broken."
"If you have a way to cure the pain in my heart, then I suggest you use it... on someone more worthy and, how you say, saveable. Myself... maybe I am saveable, but would never want to be mentally altered to fix a pain. There are some burdens we live with throughout our lives, which shape us in different ways. Some are good, others are bad."
"It is my own choice to whom is worthy, not yours. And I do not have that power... yet."
He raised his arms slightly forward and his palms up in resignation. "Yet.. or ever... there is only one thing that could redeem me from the horror that filled my heart and soul long ago. What happened to her long ago, I don't know, nor should I care. That is all I shall say on this matter." He then lowered his hands to his side, turned to the right away from Jyana and looked up at the sky as if searching for hope elsewhere.
Jyana glared off to the side. Stubborn as Hell like always. He'll never listen. He bloody WANTS the bloody pain. Idiot. "When you learn to listen to something other than your own head, I will explain to you that which you will not hear." And with that she left Xekral to his own thoughts.
She could've said so much. Xekral had died that day he killed Osiris. He had died to the light. Oh how Jyana wished he could be resurrected. Jolande would always cover Xekral's thoughts. He will never be satisfied until he got all the revenge he wanted. It was never enough. He will never be satisfied until the pain was gone. And he didn't care what anyone else thought. He didn't care whom else he could hurt in his quest. There was no peace, no matter what he said. He was NOT over it. He may say he didn't care anymore but he was just lying to himself and lying to everyone. The was no peace within no matter how hard he tried to wear that mask. He's too wrapped up in himself, in his own pain to see anyone else's point of view. He couldn't see, or probably wouldn't see, that because he killed Osiris, the pain will never leave him, until death... or until his resurrection from the Dark Side.