When A Gag Goes Too Far
Chapter 4: Of Hackers, Backers, and Cities!
A/N: If you think I own anyone but myself, then you don't know jack! (I don't own that catch phrase) NoiseTank13 owns Shackler. Quick quiz: Give me one adjective that perfectly describes Fred Luo. (I'm pretty sure that I know what Disk'll say.) You don't get a prize...but it exercises the mind. MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! The man-hole gags are running rampant!!! o_~ Hee hee! I'm so hyper!!!!!!!!!
"Key, where have you been?!"
"Uh..."
"What were you thinking?!"
"I'm not..."
"Well?!"
"Um..."
"Answer me!"
NoiseTank13 had arrived at the Noise Tank hideout in Benten-cho. It was a small room with two fairly up to date computers and some cots in the corner. In other words: not much. A small group had gathered around Rave and NoiseTank13. Rave, the leader of the Noise Tanks, had, along with all the other Noise Tanks, mistaken our favorite author-whose-name-ends-with-13 for Key.
"Key, tell me!"
"Um... Help! I've been mistaken for a video game character, but I'm really an author! Somebody help me!" NoiseTank13 screamed.
"So you're one of them! What have you done to Key?!" Rave shouted, throwing the author against the nearest wall.
"I don't know who Key is!"
"Where are the other authors?!"
"What other authors?!"
Rave sighed. He pulled NoiseTank13 over to a computer, and brought up a map of FanFiction.net. Five small white dots were flashing on it.
"What the heck is that?!" the author asked in awe.
"A map of FanFiction.net." Rave sighed.
"That's where I am? The internet?"
"Yes, moron."
"That means I'm data!"
"Shut-up."
"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Rave slapped NoiseTank13.
"See these dots?" Rave questioned forcefully.
"No, I'm blind."
"I'll ignore your sarcastic comment. Each dot is an author. As you can see, all, except you, are moving. Some faster than others, but moving. Any questions?"
"Yeah. Where are we on this thing?"
"Here." Rave replied as he pointed to a dot near the bottom-left-hand corner.
"One of those dots is headed right for us."
"Huh?! Where?!"
"There!" NoiseTank13 yelled as he pointed to a dot that was speeding in a zig-zag pattern across the map.
"Uh-oh. He should be arriving in...five...four...three...two...one!" Rave counted down.
As if on cue, Harry Potter and Disk came crashing through a window. Disk was laughing his butt off and Harry was just trying to keep him on his Firebolt.
"Mhahahaha! I'm in Tokyo-to, Ma! Look! No wings!" Disk screamed.
"Are you drunk?!" Harry shouted clutching the collar of Disk's shirt when he finally fell off the broomstick.
"Harry Potter and some idiot are going to save me?" NoiseTank13 grumbled.
"Hey! I'm not an idiot! I'm Disk!"
"The author?" NoiseTank13 asked him.
"No, the hotdog vendor from Brooklyn."
"Well, I'm NoiseTank13."
"No kidding?"
"None whatsoever."
"Hey, Harry!" Disk shouted.
"Little busy! And be ready to hop on!" the wizard yelled back as he made all of the rudies float by shouting "Wingardium leviosa!".
"Good going! Now let's...!" NoiseTank13 was interupted by a Poison Jam breaking through one of the boarded up windows.
"Oh... So I guess you don't need saving huh?" the Poison Jam asked NoiseTank13 when he landed.
"No, who are you?" the author muttered.
"You don't recognize me?"
"Have we met?"
"You created me!"
"Shackler?! Your supposed to be an idiot!"
"I have met my creator and he is not smarter than me. That's only when you're in control."
"Why don't you just...fall into an open man-hole?!" the angry NoiseTank13 screamed at the top of his lungs.
Shackler fell into an open man-hole much to the surprise of everyone in the room.
"Hey! Come on! I can get you anywhere you want to go with the sewer system!" Shackler shouted from the sewer.
"Hang on!" NoiseTank13 replied as he printed out a copy of the map and tore into two pieces. Handing one of them to Disk he said "Here, you find them. They're moving but they shouldn't get too far before you catch them, especially on that Firebolt."
"Okay, be careful, and let's meet back up at Hogwarts!" Disk agreed.
"Alright, see you later!"
NoiseTank13, although hestitantly, hopped into the sewer. Disk and Harry flew out of the window Shackler had broken. The Noise Tanks were still floating, and nobody, except them, really cared.
"What are we going to do now, Rave?" a nameless rudie asked his leader.
"Shut-up."
"Hey, gang!" Key yelled as he walked into the NoiseTank hideout, plastic bags filled with food in his hands. "I was bored so I went grocery shopping."
"We hate you!" the rest of the gang shouted back.
Tallulah had made it to the city. It was your typical city, except a little less populated. There were no cars on the road or people on the street, not to mention no vendors to fill Tallulah's roaring stomach or to quench her thirst.
"I'm so hungry. I need a hotdog. A coke would hit the spot too." she thought hopelessly. "What's up with this place? Nobody's around. I wonder why."
Suddenly, a building a few blocks away exploded. Tallulah instinctively began to run for her life as some type of ammunition hit a building near her.
"Aaaahhhhh! No more guns! I can't take anymore guns!" she screamed. "Gunslingers everywhere and I don't have a bullet proof vest! What's causing all this anyway?!"
Her question was almost immediately answered. A giant robot appeared near the rubble of the building that had exploded moments earlier.
"Huh?! Is that a Gundam?! Sandrock?!" Tallulah whispered in awe. "Maybe all my brother's ramblings about anime aren't such a bad thing."
"Hey! What are you doing here?!"
Tallulah whipped around to face a boy dressed completely in black and who had his hair in a long braid.
"I'm lost."
"I thought women always asked for directions."
"Do you see anybody around here for me to ask?!" Tallulah screamed as she whipped her arms around in a kind of "Hello! Are you blind?" manner.
"Just calm down!" the boy shouted back.
More of the ammunition rained down on a nearby building.
"How am I supposed to stay calm?! This is the second time today that somebody's been shooting at me!"
"Why was somebody shooting at you?"
"I'm an authoress."
"Really?!"
"Don't hurt me!" Tallulah cringed.
"Why would I do that?"
"Becuase my fellow authors tortured you!"
"Did you?"
"Uh, no."
"Then I have no reason to hurt you, um...?"
"Tallulah."
"I'm Duo."
"Nice to meet you. Will you do something for me?"
"Okay."
"Call off the robot!"
"Quatre! Hello! Stop! We've got a civilian down here!" Duo yelled hopelessly.
"You're an idiot." Tallulah grumbled. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Lookout!"
Ammunition was hailing down once again. Tallulah and Duo ran for their lives through the abandoned city in hopes that one of them would get an idea that would actually work. Suddenly, a taxi appeared in mid-air and hit the ground with a loud clunk.
"I thought the city had been evacuated!" Duo thought aloud.
"Obviously not! We'd better make sure that paerson is okay!" Tallulah gasped.
Tallulah and Duo ran to the taxi.
"Hey, who are you?" Duo asked.
"Axel... Where am I?!"
"No time for questions!" the Gundam pilot shouted as he grabbed Tallulah and threw her into the taxi and jumped in.
"Hey!" Axel complained. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Look, buddy, there's a giant robot on the rampage!" Tallulah screamed in fear.
"Say no more!" Axel replied as he kick the car into gear and sped into the city, avoiding the hailing ammunition, for fear of his taxi getting a dent.
"If we can get to Deathscythe, we'll be okay!" Duo said, for once getting an idea that might actually work.
"What?" Tallulah and Axel said in unison.
"Just do as I say."
Needless to say, Tallulah and Axel were terrified.
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) were still running for their lives through the Blair Witch Woods.
"Jessi-chan?"
"What now?!"
"Is it just me, or is there absolute nothingness just ahead of us?"
"What do you mean, "absolute nothingness"?"
"Stop staring at me and watch where you're going!" Thug Angel yelled and stopped running.
Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) stopped just before the stretch of white began.
"Oh. Absolute nothingness." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said, gasping for breath.
"Wait. If absolute nothingness is nothing, then we have nothing to fear!" Thug Angel shouted.
"Yeah, except fear itself." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said after looking back at the forest. "Thug, I don't want to alarm you, but there's an eerie pair of eyes looking at us from the forest."
"The Blair Witch! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Come on, Jessi-chan!"
Thug Angel grabbed Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s arm and ran out onto the white stretch.
"Hm, it's molecular structure supports our weight, therefore it's not nothingness since it has mass." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) thought aloud.
"Ok, what?"
"Uh, Thug, check out what's ahead of us..."
"Hm, why? It's just nothingness...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) had fallen off of the white stretch, and were falling through what seemed to be sky.
"I can't even see the ground! We're going to die!" Thug Angel screamed.
"I haven't graduated!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) sobbed. "I haven't played "Sonic Adventure 2"!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" they screamed as gravity pulled them downward.
"Hey there, minna-san! Thug Angel here! We're careening towards certain doom, and all Jessi-chan can think about is school and video games?! Stranger things will happen next time in "The Three Rs: Regroup, Rethink, And Rehabilitate!"!"
"I'm not ready to die!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) sobs.
***************************************************
A/N: Um, hi again. Since all of you were so patient, I decided to add some bloopers from this chapter. ^_^ These were done in about ten or so minutes, so they probably aren't as funny as bloopers should be. Or funny period. Thanks again for waiting so long and a big thanks to Tallulah for not coming after me with that machete of hers.
*NoiseTank13 versus Rave's Runny Nose*
"Key, where have you been?!"
"Um..."
"What were you thinking?!"
"I'm not..."
"Well?!"
"Um..."
Despite his desperate attempts to keep a straight face, NoiseTank13 bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.
"That's not in the script!"
"Neither is that booger that's hanging out of your nose!"
"What?! Make-up!"
*Tallulah meets Duo the Dunderhead*
"Why was somebody shooting at you?
"Um... I forgot my line."
"Just because you didn't know what you were supposed to say?!"
Tallulah sighs and Axel runs onto the set and puts a dunce cap on Duo's head.
"What's this for?" Duo asks.
Tallulah and Axel both sigh.
*Think, Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash), Think*
"Hm, it's structure supports our mass, therefore it's not weight."
"You're supposed to be the smart one, Jessi-chan." Thug Angel grumbled as she stopped running, releasing Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s arm.
"You think I actually listen in science?!"
"No, but I thought you'd be able to memorize a script."
"Here. Amuse yourself." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) grumbled as she gave Thug Angel a box of matches.
"Burn! All of you! Fire kicks arse!" the retarded pyromaniac screamed.
"I'm going to write a book on psychology someday, and that girl'll be the most interesting chapter."
Chapter 4: Of Hackers, Backers, and Cities!
A/N: If you think I own anyone but myself, then you don't know jack! (I don't own that catch phrase) NoiseTank13 owns Shackler. Quick quiz: Give me one adjective that perfectly describes Fred Luo. (I'm pretty sure that I know what Disk'll say.) You don't get a prize...but it exercises the mind. MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! The man-hole gags are running rampant!!! o_~ Hee hee! I'm so hyper!!!!!!!!!
"Key, where have you been?!"
"Uh..."
"What were you thinking?!"
"I'm not..."
"Well?!"
"Um..."
"Answer me!"
NoiseTank13 had arrived at the Noise Tank hideout in Benten-cho. It was a small room with two fairly up to date computers and some cots in the corner. In other words: not much. A small group had gathered around Rave and NoiseTank13. Rave, the leader of the Noise Tanks, had, along with all the other Noise Tanks, mistaken our favorite author-whose-name-ends-with-13 for Key.
"Key, tell me!"
"Um... Help! I've been mistaken for a video game character, but I'm really an author! Somebody help me!" NoiseTank13 screamed.
"So you're one of them! What have you done to Key?!" Rave shouted, throwing the author against the nearest wall.
"I don't know who Key is!"
"Where are the other authors?!"
"What other authors?!"
Rave sighed. He pulled NoiseTank13 over to a computer, and brought up a map of FanFiction.net. Five small white dots were flashing on it.
"What the heck is that?!" the author asked in awe.
"A map of FanFiction.net." Rave sighed.
"That's where I am? The internet?"
"Yes, moron."
"That means I'm data!"
"Shut-up."
"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Rave slapped NoiseTank13.
"See these dots?" Rave questioned forcefully.
"No, I'm blind."
"I'll ignore your sarcastic comment. Each dot is an author. As you can see, all, except you, are moving. Some faster than others, but moving. Any questions?"
"Yeah. Where are we on this thing?"
"Here." Rave replied as he pointed to a dot near the bottom-left-hand corner.
"One of those dots is headed right for us."
"Huh?! Where?!"
"There!" NoiseTank13 yelled as he pointed to a dot that was speeding in a zig-zag pattern across the map.
"Uh-oh. He should be arriving in...five...four...three...two...one!" Rave counted down.
As if on cue, Harry Potter and Disk came crashing through a window. Disk was laughing his butt off and Harry was just trying to keep him on his Firebolt.
"Mhahahaha! I'm in Tokyo-to, Ma! Look! No wings!" Disk screamed.
"Are you drunk?!" Harry shouted clutching the collar of Disk's shirt when he finally fell off the broomstick.
"Harry Potter and some idiot are going to save me?" NoiseTank13 grumbled.
"Hey! I'm not an idiot! I'm Disk!"
"The author?" NoiseTank13 asked him.
"No, the hotdog vendor from Brooklyn."
"Well, I'm NoiseTank13."
"No kidding?"
"None whatsoever."
"Hey, Harry!" Disk shouted.
"Little busy! And be ready to hop on!" the wizard yelled back as he made all of the rudies float by shouting "Wingardium leviosa!".
"Good going! Now let's...!" NoiseTank13 was interupted by a Poison Jam breaking through one of the boarded up windows.
"Oh... So I guess you don't need saving huh?" the Poison Jam asked NoiseTank13 when he landed.
"No, who are you?" the author muttered.
"You don't recognize me?"
"Have we met?"
"You created me!"
"Shackler?! Your supposed to be an idiot!"
"I have met my creator and he is not smarter than me. That's only when you're in control."
"Why don't you just...fall into an open man-hole?!" the angry NoiseTank13 screamed at the top of his lungs.
Shackler fell into an open man-hole much to the surprise of everyone in the room.
"Hey! Come on! I can get you anywhere you want to go with the sewer system!" Shackler shouted from the sewer.
"Hang on!" NoiseTank13 replied as he printed out a copy of the map and tore into two pieces. Handing one of them to Disk he said "Here, you find them. They're moving but they shouldn't get too far before you catch them, especially on that Firebolt."
"Okay, be careful, and let's meet back up at Hogwarts!" Disk agreed.
"Alright, see you later!"
NoiseTank13, although hestitantly, hopped into the sewer. Disk and Harry flew out of the window Shackler had broken. The Noise Tanks were still floating, and nobody, except them, really cared.
"What are we going to do now, Rave?" a nameless rudie asked his leader.
"Shut-up."
"Hey, gang!" Key yelled as he walked into the NoiseTank hideout, plastic bags filled with food in his hands. "I was bored so I went grocery shopping."
"We hate you!" the rest of the gang shouted back.
Tallulah had made it to the city. It was your typical city, except a little less populated. There were no cars on the road or people on the street, not to mention no vendors to fill Tallulah's roaring stomach or to quench her thirst.
"I'm so hungry. I need a hotdog. A coke would hit the spot too." she thought hopelessly. "What's up with this place? Nobody's around. I wonder why."
Suddenly, a building a few blocks away exploded. Tallulah instinctively began to run for her life as some type of ammunition hit a building near her.
"Aaaahhhhh! No more guns! I can't take anymore guns!" she screamed. "Gunslingers everywhere and I don't have a bullet proof vest! What's causing all this anyway?!"
Her question was almost immediately answered. A giant robot appeared near the rubble of the building that had exploded moments earlier.
"Huh?! Is that a Gundam?! Sandrock?!" Tallulah whispered in awe. "Maybe all my brother's ramblings about anime aren't such a bad thing."
"Hey! What are you doing here?!"
Tallulah whipped around to face a boy dressed completely in black and who had his hair in a long braid.
"I'm lost."
"I thought women always asked for directions."
"Do you see anybody around here for me to ask?!" Tallulah screamed as she whipped her arms around in a kind of "Hello! Are you blind?" manner.
"Just calm down!" the boy shouted back.
More of the ammunition rained down on a nearby building.
"How am I supposed to stay calm?! This is the second time today that somebody's been shooting at me!"
"Why was somebody shooting at you?"
"I'm an authoress."
"Really?!"
"Don't hurt me!" Tallulah cringed.
"Why would I do that?"
"Becuase my fellow authors tortured you!"
"Did you?"
"Uh, no."
"Then I have no reason to hurt you, um...?"
"Tallulah."
"I'm Duo."
"Nice to meet you. Will you do something for me?"
"Okay."
"Call off the robot!"
"Quatre! Hello! Stop! We've got a civilian down here!" Duo yelled hopelessly.
"You're an idiot." Tallulah grumbled. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Lookout!"
Ammunition was hailing down once again. Tallulah and Duo ran for their lives through the abandoned city in hopes that one of them would get an idea that would actually work. Suddenly, a taxi appeared in mid-air and hit the ground with a loud clunk.
"I thought the city had been evacuated!" Duo thought aloud.
"Obviously not! We'd better make sure that paerson is okay!" Tallulah gasped.
Tallulah and Duo ran to the taxi.
"Hey, who are you?" Duo asked.
"Axel... Where am I?!"
"No time for questions!" the Gundam pilot shouted as he grabbed Tallulah and threw her into the taxi and jumped in.
"Hey!" Axel complained. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Look, buddy, there's a giant robot on the rampage!" Tallulah screamed in fear.
"Say no more!" Axel replied as he kick the car into gear and sped into the city, avoiding the hailing ammunition, for fear of his taxi getting a dent.
"If we can get to Deathscythe, we'll be okay!" Duo said, for once getting an idea that might actually work.
"What?" Tallulah and Axel said in unison.
"Just do as I say."
Needless to say, Tallulah and Axel were terrified.
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) were still running for their lives through the Blair Witch Woods.
"Jessi-chan?"
"What now?!"
"Is it just me, or is there absolute nothingness just ahead of us?"
"What do you mean, "absolute nothingness"?"
"Stop staring at me and watch where you're going!" Thug Angel yelled and stopped running.
Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) stopped just before the stretch of white began.
"Oh. Absolute nothingness." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said, gasping for breath.
"Wait. If absolute nothingness is nothing, then we have nothing to fear!" Thug Angel shouted.
"Yeah, except fear itself." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said after looking back at the forest. "Thug, I don't want to alarm you, but there's an eerie pair of eyes looking at us from the forest."
"The Blair Witch! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Come on, Jessi-chan!"
Thug Angel grabbed Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s arm and ran out onto the white stretch.
"Hm, it's molecular structure supports our weight, therefore it's not nothingness since it has mass." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) thought aloud.
"Ok, what?"
"Uh, Thug, check out what's ahead of us..."
"Hm, why? It's just nothingness...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) had fallen off of the white stretch, and were falling through what seemed to be sky.
"I can't even see the ground! We're going to die!" Thug Angel screamed.
"I haven't graduated!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) sobbed. "I haven't played "Sonic Adventure 2"!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" they screamed as gravity pulled them downward.
"Hey there, minna-san! Thug Angel here! We're careening towards certain doom, and all Jessi-chan can think about is school and video games?! Stranger things will happen next time in "The Three Rs: Regroup, Rethink, And Rehabilitate!"!"
"I'm not ready to die!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) sobs.
***************************************************
A/N: Um, hi again. Since all of you were so patient, I decided to add some bloopers from this chapter. ^_^ These were done in about ten or so minutes, so they probably aren't as funny as bloopers should be. Or funny period. Thanks again for waiting so long and a big thanks to Tallulah for not coming after me with that machete of hers.
*NoiseTank13 versus Rave's Runny Nose*
"Key, where have you been?!"
"Um..."
"What were you thinking?!"
"I'm not..."
"Well?!"
"Um..."
Despite his desperate attempts to keep a straight face, NoiseTank13 bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.
"That's not in the script!"
"Neither is that booger that's hanging out of your nose!"
"What?! Make-up!"
*Tallulah meets Duo the Dunderhead*
"Why was somebody shooting at you?
"Um... I forgot my line."
"Just because you didn't know what you were supposed to say?!"
Tallulah sighs and Axel runs onto the set and puts a dunce cap on Duo's head.
"What's this for?" Duo asks.
Tallulah and Axel both sigh.
*Think, Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash), Think*
"Hm, it's structure supports our mass, therefore it's not weight."
"You're supposed to be the smart one, Jessi-chan." Thug Angel grumbled as she stopped running, releasing Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s arm.
"You think I actually listen in science?!"
"No, but I thought you'd be able to memorize a script."
"Here. Amuse yourself." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) grumbled as she gave Thug Angel a box of matches.
"Burn! All of you! Fire kicks arse!" the retarded pyromaniac screamed.
"I'm going to write a book on psychology someday, and that girl'll be the most interesting chapter."