Title: I Will Be Good At Making Bad
Author: Agent M (loveofhavok@colourovers.net)
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairings: Draco/Harry, various others
Disclaimer: Don't own anything that isn't mine.
Archive: Tainted Wings (www.colourovers.net/wings) and The Underground (http://members.aol.com//michirublade//index.html) anyone else, just ask.
Notes: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It means a lot to me that you like my crap. Thanks to VinylNoMiko, my muse and beta reader, for everything. And 'yay' to anyone who noticed the small random unimportant LoTR refrence in the last part. heh. I amuse myself that way...


The problem, Voldemort thought, was that he knew something was going on behind his back. It wasn't anything new, really, but it annoyed him to no end. He wished they would be more discreet about it, but these were Death Eaters he was talking about and Voldemort had long ago learned not to expect too much from them.

Voldemort suspected Lucius was behind the most recent attempt at betrayal, as he seemed to be sneaking around more than usual and had been caught practicing the "evil eye" in a hall mirror. It wouldn't be much of a shock to him if he found it was Lucius; the man loved attention and really could pull off the aloof uninterested thing.

The thing that really bothered Voldemort was that he had no idea what Lucius was planning, if he was indeed behind said plan. While it was fun to have a mystery once in a while, Voldemort was sure that it would be better to be in the know on this. After spending hours ranting and raving and essentially ignoring Dr. Chiron's advice of patience, understanding and "let me out of the cage", Voldemort decided to do what he normally did: take matters into his own hands. And that was why Lucius was now having an awkward lunch with Voldemort in his mansion charmed to look like a cave.

Voldemort eyed the pale man sitting across from him. He was delicately eating a salad and pretending not to notice the presence of the Dark Lord across from him.

"So, Lucius," Voldemort said after a while, tired of being so pointedly ignored. "How's your son?"

"I would assume the usual, but Narcissa keeps in closer contact than I do during the school year."

"I was hoping he could finish the third torture chamber soon. It's quite drab, I've noticed." Lucius nodded more out of reflex than in understanding. "Young Malfoy aside, what is going on in your life, Lucius?"

"Uh, is this going to take long or be a total heart to heart?" Lucius asked glancing at his watch. "I have another appointment this after noon that I simply must keep."

"Is that so, Malfoy? What, may I ask, is more important than this?"

"I'd rather not say, actually."

Voldemort smiled to himself. He was getting somewhere with this. Lucius should confess to his scheming before the end of lunch.

"Come now, Lucius."

"Well," Lucius started with a bit of blush rising to his cheeks. "It's just that the custom leather shop in Hogsmeade is only open till four and I really do need to pick up the matching outfits that Narcissa and I ordered before they start charging me extra. It's bad enough the charge per strap and I found that out the hard way when Lupin and I…."

Voldemort held up his hand, "That's enough."

Lucius coughed, "You did ask."

"Yes, because I wanted to know what you were planning but you don't seem to be as forth coming with information as I had hoped."

"Planning?"

"Against me, Malfoy. I'm the Dark Lord, for fuck's sake. You think you could keep something like that from me?"

"Is this a specific plan that you are referring to?" Lucius asked.

"There's more than one?"

"Most likely," Lucius confirmed. "I've been hearing things around the Dough-Knut table at our meetings. I can't say who because of the mask, but there is definitely something going on."

"I knew I should have ordered the robes without built in masks," Voldemort mumbled. "So, there really is something going on then?"

"Would I lie to you?" Lucius asked sincerely.

"Good point. Lucius, I need you to keep me informed on any plot against me. I would have Wormtail do it, but he's probably in on it."

"Of course," he said and smiled. Lucius just loved being in control of the situation.

---

Lucius apparated into his study. He had gotten out of Voldemort's lair as quickly as he could after promising to send Draco over during his Easter break. Really he wanted to get out of there before Voldemort realized his own gullibility. In fact, Lucius was feeling an evil cackle coming on.

"Bwahahahahahahah heh," Lucius stopped mid-cackle and spun around. Narcissa was leaning against the doorframe examining her nails.

"Carry on, dear. I didn't mean to interrupt your evil laughter."

"No. You ruined it. The moment is gone," Lucius said with a bit of a pout and threw himself into his desk chair.

Narcissa rolled her eyes and sat down on the desk.

"Why don't you tell me what earned such a laugh," she suggested.

"Voldemort was suspecting my involvement in plans to take over the word, or at least betray him in some way. Luckily, I was able to convince him that I am completely devoted to him and that there are others planning things against him."

"Are there?"

"Probably," Lucius shrugged.

"Well, be careful, darling. He may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but he is the Dark Lord."

"Look, I took care if it," Lucius insisted. "Besides, he is completely caught up in his own issues and Draco's interior design. He'll never notice."

"Speaking of Draco, I got a letter from Caius this morning." Lucius nodded, vaguely trying to follow Narcissa's train of thought. "It had a self destruct charm on it but it said something about approval at some ball or something."

Lucius's head shot up out of his hands and he jumped up out of his seat.

"Do you know what this means?" he asked visibly excited.

"That we will get better seats for the Quidditch World Cup next year?"

"No. But that would be nice; I should look into that." Lucius said moving to make a note of it, then paused and looked momentarily confused. He shook his head to get his mind back on track. "What is means, darling, is that Caius is going to ask the heads about helping at their annual spring ball."

"They have a Ball?" she asked, intrest suddenly perked.

"I remember my father going. Apparently it's a big event where lots of negotiations are made."

"We are invited to this ball of course?" Lucius paused and considered this. To tell Narcissa that no, they probably weren't invited because his ties with The Death Eaters. Or to tell Narcissa yes, of course they were invited. Decisions, decisions. The one thing Lucius did know was that they were a step a head of the rest of the Wizarding world who would have no knowledge of the event at all unless they were invited.

"Well," Lucius said carefully. "Who let the envelope self-destruct?"

"Then you contact Caius and find out. It was his charm that caused the self-destruct after all. If we are going I am going to need ample time to decide what to wear."

Lucius rolled his eyes, "Yes, dear. Of course."

Narcissa smiled and turned to leave the room. She got to the doorway and turned around, "Incidentally, did pick up our matching outfits yet?"

---

Voldemort banged on Dr. Chiron's cage until the man woke up.

"Tom?" he asked through a sleep-clouded voice. "Tom, it's 3:45 in the morning. Could you, maybe, come back later today? You know, when the sun is shining?"

Voldemort ignored him and sat down in the armchair that he usual sat in only now it was facing the cage. He seemed to be pouting if his face was capable of making such an expression, but Chiron got the hint nonetheless.

"Fine," he said pulling himself into a sitting position on his bed. "What seems to be troubling you, Tom?"

"Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you? That you are just a speck in a universe of nothingness and that no matter what you do, good or bad, it won't make any difference at all?"

Chiron rolled his eyes. Voldemort was obviously about to enter one of his paranoid rants. It was really too early to deal with this.

"Then again.. Is it possible, do you think, that I could be the center of all existence? That my sole reason for being here is to be unaware of my purpose so that the rest of the world can survive?

"Could it be that the only thing keeping me here is my awareness of whatever it is? That without me the world would be nothing." He opened his hands as if he was going to drop something that wasn't there, "Nothing. Could it be that the reason people are against me is because I am a type of God. People will love me. People will ignore me. People will deny that I exist.

"Do you know what I mean? Is any of this reasonable?" A pause. "Chiron?"

Chiron jerked awake when he heard his name.

"These are all perfectly normal thoughts, Tom," he said stifling a yawn. "You, as we have discussed, like to play the victim. It's like my grandmother used to say to us when we were being melodramatic: 'the only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.'"

"What are you trying to say?" Voldemort narrowed his eyes at Chiron.

"Nothing really. That's just it. You, me, we can say whatever we want and none of it matters. We are not the fibers that hold this world together. We are unimportant pawns. We all have to realize that at some point."

"No," Voldemort stated sternly as he stood up. "No, I'm not. I won't ever be that way again."

For a moment Chiron realized that he should feel a bit worried or at least somewhat concerned by Tom's last statement but instead he just yawned, curled back up in his bed and fell back asleep.

-end part 7-

This is Agent M signing off.