When A Gag Goes Too Far
Chapter 7: Things That Go "BUMP" In The Middle Of The Day!
A/N: *yawn* It's late on a Friday night. I should already be asleep. ...I really shouldn't ramble on and on... Okay, straight to the point this time: I only own myself and Speed. The authors belong to their respective selves (O_o That doesn't sound right for some reason...) and the official character belong to their respective owners, which I am too tired to name off.
The authors and Dumbledore were seated around a large, round, beautifully crafted oak table. In front of each of them were a note pad, a pencil, a peanutbutter sandwhich, and a glass of chocolate milk. It was a so called "meeting (or lunch, in this case) of the minds", except that the state of these minds ranged from slightly deranged to full blown insane.
"Well," Disk said as he turned his sandwhich over a few times, inspecting it for any unusual ingredients. "Now what?"
"The enemy is scattered... We should take advantage of that and attack their base of operations!" NoiseTank13 replied between bites.
"There's a little problem with that," Tallulah interjected. "We don't know where their base is."
"Way to be a downer, Tal," NoiseTank13 grumbled.
"Way to compliment a lady, 13."
"Aw, don't mind her!" Nik chirped, placing his half full glass of milk onto the table. "The notion of Duo Maxwell having the hots for her has put her in a bad mood."
Silence ensued, in which Tallulah's face turned several lovely shades of red.
"Well, why else was he staring at her in the cab?" Nik shrugged.
"What an elegant way of putting it..." Jessi a.k.a. Crash sighed between nibbles. "Look, we need to find a way to locate their base."
"Any suggestions?" Disk asked hopefully.
"No."
"Well, let's look at this logically," Thug Angel said while swirling her glass a bit. "Tab started all this, didn't he? Then wouldn't it make sense for their base to be in Tokyo-to?"
"....are my ears decieving me, or did Thug just say something...intelligent?" Jessi a.k.a. Crash blinked in mock amazement, earning a whack from Thug Angel, who was sitting next to her.
"No, hold on a moment," Dumbledore interjected, "All sarcasm aside, that is an intelligent deduction."
The group of authors blinked in perfect unison.
"Heck must have frozen over," Nik laughed.
Thug Angel shifted her angered glare from Jessi a.k.a. Crash to Nik, effectively shutting him up.
"You've been very quiet, Axel," NoiseTank13 observed. "Is something up?"
Axel didn't reply. He sat there, slowly eating his food, straing at the table with a far away look on his face.
"Ah, still mourning the loss of you cab? Sorry to have bothered you."
Axel's cab, for some reason that Neville essentially called a "fluke", was not transported to Hogwarts with him. He was in a state of near emotional shock.
"Um...yeah, question," Tallulah addressed the group, "Does anyone know anything about finding and infiltrating a base?"
Nobody said a word. They just glanced at eachother, waiting for someone to say something that would save the only plan they had.
"Tal, I said that it was in Tokyo-to. There's no reason to worry about finding-"
"That's no garuntee!" Tallulah interrupted. "They could be smarter than we're giving them credit for, you know!"
The two girls began to bicker, with the others watching in mild amusement. Afterall, How often did the grammar queen face off with the queen of goths?
"Perhaps we should call in a group of professionals for assistance," Dumbledore sighed as he stood up and made his way to the potrait hole of the common room.
"Wait just a minute!" Disk practically shouted, making Dumbledore nearly nearly trip over his robes. "I have a plan!"
Tab was pacing, as best he could with skates on, about the garage, with Gum staring at him, impatiently tapping her foot.
"Any ideas yet?" Gum said, finally relieving the tension that was building.
"No," Tab replied as he stopped pacing and whirled around to face her. "But here's a thought, I put everyone into teams right?"
"Yeah...and?"
"Absolutely everyone?"
"...what are you getting at?"
"I don't think I assigned anything to Vegeta."
"Darn straight, you didn't assign me anything!" Vegeta shouted as he stomped into the room from the kitchen, ravenously devouring a chocolate bar. "And do you know why? Because I am the price of Saiyans! You mere humans cannot tell me what to do!"
"Vegeta, please-" Tab began before the Saiyan prince interrupted him.
"No, I give the orders and you listen! From this moment forward, we are not fighting against the authors! We are fighting the giant bunny rabbits that have invaded our realm from the planet Fuzziness!"
Tab and Gum sweatdropped as Vegeta rambled on.
"How many of those chocolate bars do you think he's had?" Tab asked Gum.
"...well, considering that we nearly bought out an entire candy store at the last 'Post Halloween' sale...about twenty-five punds."
"That's all we had, isn't it?"
"Yep."
"Oh boy, he's going to be hyper for a while."
"I hope you're kidding," Jessi a.k.a. Crash gasped. "Please tell me you're kidding!"
"No, I'm not kidding," Tallulah said with a sigh.
Tallulah, Thug Angel, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash were in the Gryffindor common room. They were standing in front of a computer console, looking at a computer generated map of Tokyo-to. Wolfwood and Speed we hovering in the background, arguing over the accuracy of an old fashioned paper map that Speed had made. Tallulah and Thug Angel had stopped bickering, with Tallulah's reasoning winning over Thug Angel's.
"But that's suicide!"
"Why are you so paranoid? Gathering up support from the other archives is our best chance at overpowering Tab. Do it for the good of all authors everywhere!"
"No, I'd like to live to see my next birthday, thank you very much!"
"Jessi, all you have to do is see if any of the Gundam pilots will help us out. It's not like we're asking you to stick a knife in a toaster," Thug Angel sighed, still a bit mad that Tallulah had ultimately won their argument.
"Please, let me do something else!"
"Well, you could go with Disk, 13, and Axel..." Tallulah suggested.
"What are they doing?"
Suddenly, Disk, Axel, and NoiseTank13, who was practically dragging Axel, raced down the stairs from the boys dormitory. They all bore a striking resemblence to James Bond, as they were wearing tuxedoes and rather smug grins.
"Well, we're off to infiltrate the enemy base, or as we like to call it, the 'Belly of the Beast'!" Disk shouted happily as he, NoiseTank13, and Axel ran, or, in Axel's case, were dragged by his comrades, through the potrait hole. "We're off to Tokyo-to! Bye!"
"And Dumbledore's giving a car! We won't have to walk!"
"And we can run down Onishima!"
"Yeah!"
The dynamic duo raced out of the common room like children would race to a candy store after school.
"...I'll take the pilots..."
"I thought you would," Tallulah giggled at Jessi a.k.a. Crash's expression of disbelief at Disk and NoiseTank13's enthusiasm.
Jessi a.k.a. Crash trudged up into the girl's dormitory to prepare for her "mission".
"Alright, Thug," Tallulah said with a sigh. "Let's get to work."
"On what?"
"Back-up plans, in case the 'Belly of the Beast' isn't in Tokyo-to or if Jessi can't get the pilots on our side," Tallulah explained as she walked over to Wolfwood and Speed, pushed them away, and began to examine the map.
"This will involve thinking, won't it?" Thug Angel groaned as she joined her, pushing the feuding duo away from the map.
"Yeah."
"My head hurts already."
"Gene, you idiot!" Jim Hawking shouted at his partner. "You destroyed half of that city! Now we'll never get the support of Gundam Wing!"
"Who needs them anyway?" Gene Starwind said nonchalantly. "The Outlaw Star can take out all of those robots!"
"You moron!"
Gene, Jim, and Melphina were sitting on the white espanse between Cowboy Bebop and Card Captor Sakura, contemplating Gene's recent blunder.
"You were supposed to convince them to come over to our side instead of being neutral! Now they're probably going to join up with the authors! Authors with giant mechs! Is that getting through your head?!"
"Look, Jim, everything'll work out."
"Gene, if we don't do something, we'll lose any hope of freedom! I don't want to be ordered around or tortured anymore!"
"None of us do. That's why we're fighting this war!"
Melphina remained silent as they argued further. Her face took on a thoughtful expression as she turned away from them.
"I don't want to fight this war," she whispered to herself as tears began to fall down her cheeks. "Why can't we settle this peacefully?"
Disk and NoiseTank13 were cruising along in a gleaming black Volkswagon beetle, darting between archives on the white path before them. Disk was driving and NoiseTank13 was doing his best to keep them from driving into aarchives that they didn't want to visit. Axel, who was along because of his vast knowledge of mechanics, was sitting in the backseat in complete silence.
"So...which way is Jet Grind Radio?" Disk asked as he swerved the car around the "To Kill a Mocking Bird" archive.
"Hey, man, I'm just the lookout and... Since when was I the navigator?" NoiseTank13 blinked several times, before shouting, "You mean we're lost!?"
"Yep. That's about the size of it," Disk sighed.
"Great. Just freakin' great..."
"Hey, Tallulah here! Something's not right and I simply can't put my finger on it. We've run into so little resistance so far, well, relatively little when compared to how much trouble we could be having. Next time, it's "The Jinx of the Century"! Excuse me while I go search for a four-leaf clover."
**********
A/N: Why do I put in two author's notes? ... It's becuase... I have to make up for not making a random joke in the first one!...and I still can't think of one. Oh yes, for some reason, seeing my iguana yamn reminded me (yes, I'm strange), Pyro, sorry, I couldn't add you in this chapter. It would've caused some continuity problems later. Next chapter, however, is a different story. Not really a different story, it'll still be WAGGTF, but I can add you because I needed a-...no, I'm not saying anymore. I've said far too much as it is. I don't want to spoil the next chapter. ^_~ Blooper Time!
*The Cockroach Conspiracy*
Disk, instead of inspecting his peanutbutter sandwhich as we was supposed to, bite into it frantically, as if he were starving. A loud 'crunch' was heard. His eyes grew wide as he slowly tore off a chunck of sandwhich and held what remained of it at eye level.
"Oh, sweeth merthiful crath!" he shouted through a mouthful of sandwhich.
He dropped the sandwhich onto the table and ran out of the room as he covered his mouth with his hands, trying desperately to keep from hurling until he reached a toilet. The other authors and Dumbledore looked at the sandwhich, finally realizing what was wrong.
There were cockroaches in the peanutbutter.
*Run, Trip, Roll*
NoiseTank13 ran down the stairs to the boy's dormitory at breakneck speed, passing up Disk. He tripped and began to tumble down the steps.
In the common room at the base of the stairs, Tallulah, Tug Angel, Jessi a.k.a. Crash, Wolfwood, and Speed were extremely surprised as NoiseTank13 rolled past them at an alarming speed, hit the wall, and burst through it.
"Perhaps we should talk to the authoress about all this cheap scenery," Speed suggested, a sweatdrop appearing on her and her companions head's. "I know she's on a tight budget, but this is just ridiculous."
*Why NoiseTank13 Isn't Allowed to Drive the Car*
NoiseTank13 was behind the wheel of the Beetle instead of Disk, who was clutching his seat for dear life. Axel was in the backseat, but instead of being silent, he was screaming.
"Whoohoo!" NoseTank13 screamed as he drove the speeding car into "To Kill a Mockingbird" instead of driving around it. "Mayhem! Chaos! Bow before me, insolent wretches!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Axel screamed at the top of his lungs.
"That's it! You're never driving ag-" Disk's shout was cut off when the car rammed into a tree.
The insane driver laughed maniacally as he climbed out of the wreckage. Disk simply sighed and calmly walked away to find a bottle of asprin for his growing headache.
Chapter 7: Things That Go "BUMP" In The Middle Of The Day!
A/N: *yawn* It's late on a Friday night. I should already be asleep. ...I really shouldn't ramble on and on... Okay, straight to the point this time: I only own myself and Speed. The authors belong to their respective selves (O_o That doesn't sound right for some reason...) and the official character belong to their respective owners, which I am too tired to name off.
The authors and Dumbledore were seated around a large, round, beautifully crafted oak table. In front of each of them were a note pad, a pencil, a peanutbutter sandwhich, and a glass of chocolate milk. It was a so called "meeting (or lunch, in this case) of the minds", except that the state of these minds ranged from slightly deranged to full blown insane.
"Well," Disk said as he turned his sandwhich over a few times, inspecting it for any unusual ingredients. "Now what?"
"The enemy is scattered... We should take advantage of that and attack their base of operations!" NoiseTank13 replied between bites.
"There's a little problem with that," Tallulah interjected. "We don't know where their base is."
"Way to be a downer, Tal," NoiseTank13 grumbled.
"Way to compliment a lady, 13."
"Aw, don't mind her!" Nik chirped, placing his half full glass of milk onto the table. "The notion of Duo Maxwell having the hots for her has put her in a bad mood."
Silence ensued, in which Tallulah's face turned several lovely shades of red.
"Well, why else was he staring at her in the cab?" Nik shrugged.
"What an elegant way of putting it..." Jessi a.k.a. Crash sighed between nibbles. "Look, we need to find a way to locate their base."
"Any suggestions?" Disk asked hopefully.
"No."
"Well, let's look at this logically," Thug Angel said while swirling her glass a bit. "Tab started all this, didn't he? Then wouldn't it make sense for their base to be in Tokyo-to?"
"....are my ears decieving me, or did Thug just say something...intelligent?" Jessi a.k.a. Crash blinked in mock amazement, earning a whack from Thug Angel, who was sitting next to her.
"No, hold on a moment," Dumbledore interjected, "All sarcasm aside, that is an intelligent deduction."
The group of authors blinked in perfect unison.
"Heck must have frozen over," Nik laughed.
Thug Angel shifted her angered glare from Jessi a.k.a. Crash to Nik, effectively shutting him up.
"You've been very quiet, Axel," NoiseTank13 observed. "Is something up?"
Axel didn't reply. He sat there, slowly eating his food, straing at the table with a far away look on his face.
"Ah, still mourning the loss of you cab? Sorry to have bothered you."
Axel's cab, for some reason that Neville essentially called a "fluke", was not transported to Hogwarts with him. He was in a state of near emotional shock.
"Um...yeah, question," Tallulah addressed the group, "Does anyone know anything about finding and infiltrating a base?"
Nobody said a word. They just glanced at eachother, waiting for someone to say something that would save the only plan they had.
"Tal, I said that it was in Tokyo-to. There's no reason to worry about finding-"
"That's no garuntee!" Tallulah interrupted. "They could be smarter than we're giving them credit for, you know!"
The two girls began to bicker, with the others watching in mild amusement. Afterall, How often did the grammar queen face off with the queen of goths?
"Perhaps we should call in a group of professionals for assistance," Dumbledore sighed as he stood up and made his way to the potrait hole of the common room.
"Wait just a minute!" Disk practically shouted, making Dumbledore nearly nearly trip over his robes. "I have a plan!"
Tab was pacing, as best he could with skates on, about the garage, with Gum staring at him, impatiently tapping her foot.
"Any ideas yet?" Gum said, finally relieving the tension that was building.
"No," Tab replied as he stopped pacing and whirled around to face her. "But here's a thought, I put everyone into teams right?"
"Yeah...and?"
"Absolutely everyone?"
"...what are you getting at?"
"I don't think I assigned anything to Vegeta."
"Darn straight, you didn't assign me anything!" Vegeta shouted as he stomped into the room from the kitchen, ravenously devouring a chocolate bar. "And do you know why? Because I am the price of Saiyans! You mere humans cannot tell me what to do!"
"Vegeta, please-" Tab began before the Saiyan prince interrupted him.
"No, I give the orders and you listen! From this moment forward, we are not fighting against the authors! We are fighting the giant bunny rabbits that have invaded our realm from the planet Fuzziness!"
Tab and Gum sweatdropped as Vegeta rambled on.
"How many of those chocolate bars do you think he's had?" Tab asked Gum.
"...well, considering that we nearly bought out an entire candy store at the last 'Post Halloween' sale...about twenty-five punds."
"That's all we had, isn't it?"
"Yep."
"Oh boy, he's going to be hyper for a while."
"I hope you're kidding," Jessi a.k.a. Crash gasped. "Please tell me you're kidding!"
"No, I'm not kidding," Tallulah said with a sigh.
Tallulah, Thug Angel, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash were in the Gryffindor common room. They were standing in front of a computer console, looking at a computer generated map of Tokyo-to. Wolfwood and Speed we hovering in the background, arguing over the accuracy of an old fashioned paper map that Speed had made. Tallulah and Thug Angel had stopped bickering, with Tallulah's reasoning winning over Thug Angel's.
"But that's suicide!"
"Why are you so paranoid? Gathering up support from the other archives is our best chance at overpowering Tab. Do it for the good of all authors everywhere!"
"No, I'd like to live to see my next birthday, thank you very much!"
"Jessi, all you have to do is see if any of the Gundam pilots will help us out. It's not like we're asking you to stick a knife in a toaster," Thug Angel sighed, still a bit mad that Tallulah had ultimately won their argument.
"Please, let me do something else!"
"Well, you could go with Disk, 13, and Axel..." Tallulah suggested.
"What are they doing?"
Suddenly, Disk, Axel, and NoiseTank13, who was practically dragging Axel, raced down the stairs from the boys dormitory. They all bore a striking resemblence to James Bond, as they were wearing tuxedoes and rather smug grins.
"Well, we're off to infiltrate the enemy base, or as we like to call it, the 'Belly of the Beast'!" Disk shouted happily as he, NoiseTank13, and Axel ran, or, in Axel's case, were dragged by his comrades, through the potrait hole. "We're off to Tokyo-to! Bye!"
"And Dumbledore's giving a car! We won't have to walk!"
"And we can run down Onishima!"
"Yeah!"
The dynamic duo raced out of the common room like children would race to a candy store after school.
"...I'll take the pilots..."
"I thought you would," Tallulah giggled at Jessi a.k.a. Crash's expression of disbelief at Disk and NoiseTank13's enthusiasm.
Jessi a.k.a. Crash trudged up into the girl's dormitory to prepare for her "mission".
"Alright, Thug," Tallulah said with a sigh. "Let's get to work."
"On what?"
"Back-up plans, in case the 'Belly of the Beast' isn't in Tokyo-to or if Jessi can't get the pilots on our side," Tallulah explained as she walked over to Wolfwood and Speed, pushed them away, and began to examine the map.
"This will involve thinking, won't it?" Thug Angel groaned as she joined her, pushing the feuding duo away from the map.
"Yeah."
"My head hurts already."
"Gene, you idiot!" Jim Hawking shouted at his partner. "You destroyed half of that city! Now we'll never get the support of Gundam Wing!"
"Who needs them anyway?" Gene Starwind said nonchalantly. "The Outlaw Star can take out all of those robots!"
"You moron!"
Gene, Jim, and Melphina were sitting on the white espanse between Cowboy Bebop and Card Captor Sakura, contemplating Gene's recent blunder.
"You were supposed to convince them to come over to our side instead of being neutral! Now they're probably going to join up with the authors! Authors with giant mechs! Is that getting through your head?!"
"Look, Jim, everything'll work out."
"Gene, if we don't do something, we'll lose any hope of freedom! I don't want to be ordered around or tortured anymore!"
"None of us do. That's why we're fighting this war!"
Melphina remained silent as they argued further. Her face took on a thoughtful expression as she turned away from them.
"I don't want to fight this war," she whispered to herself as tears began to fall down her cheeks. "Why can't we settle this peacefully?"
Disk and NoiseTank13 were cruising along in a gleaming black Volkswagon beetle, darting between archives on the white path before them. Disk was driving and NoiseTank13 was doing his best to keep them from driving into aarchives that they didn't want to visit. Axel, who was along because of his vast knowledge of mechanics, was sitting in the backseat in complete silence.
"So...which way is Jet Grind Radio?" Disk asked as he swerved the car around the "To Kill a Mocking Bird" archive.
"Hey, man, I'm just the lookout and... Since when was I the navigator?" NoiseTank13 blinked several times, before shouting, "You mean we're lost!?"
"Yep. That's about the size of it," Disk sighed.
"Great. Just freakin' great..."
"Hey, Tallulah here! Something's not right and I simply can't put my finger on it. We've run into so little resistance so far, well, relatively little when compared to how much trouble we could be having. Next time, it's "The Jinx of the Century"! Excuse me while I go search for a four-leaf clover."
**********
A/N: Why do I put in two author's notes? ... It's becuase... I have to make up for not making a random joke in the first one!...and I still can't think of one. Oh yes, for some reason, seeing my iguana yamn reminded me (yes, I'm strange), Pyro, sorry, I couldn't add you in this chapter. It would've caused some continuity problems later. Next chapter, however, is a different story. Not really a different story, it'll still be WAGGTF, but I can add you because I needed a-...no, I'm not saying anymore. I've said far too much as it is. I don't want to spoil the next chapter. ^_~ Blooper Time!
*The Cockroach Conspiracy*
Disk, instead of inspecting his peanutbutter sandwhich as we was supposed to, bite into it frantically, as if he were starving. A loud 'crunch' was heard. His eyes grew wide as he slowly tore off a chunck of sandwhich and held what remained of it at eye level.
"Oh, sweeth merthiful crath!" he shouted through a mouthful of sandwhich.
He dropped the sandwhich onto the table and ran out of the room as he covered his mouth with his hands, trying desperately to keep from hurling until he reached a toilet. The other authors and Dumbledore looked at the sandwhich, finally realizing what was wrong.
There were cockroaches in the peanutbutter.
*Run, Trip, Roll*
NoiseTank13 ran down the stairs to the boy's dormitory at breakneck speed, passing up Disk. He tripped and began to tumble down the steps.
In the common room at the base of the stairs, Tallulah, Tug Angel, Jessi a.k.a. Crash, Wolfwood, and Speed were extremely surprised as NoiseTank13 rolled past them at an alarming speed, hit the wall, and burst through it.
"Perhaps we should talk to the authoress about all this cheap scenery," Speed suggested, a sweatdrop appearing on her and her companions head's. "I know she's on a tight budget, but this is just ridiculous."
*Why NoiseTank13 Isn't Allowed to Drive the Car*
NoiseTank13 was behind the wheel of the Beetle instead of Disk, who was clutching his seat for dear life. Axel was in the backseat, but instead of being silent, he was screaming.
"Whoohoo!" NoseTank13 screamed as he drove the speeding car into "To Kill a Mockingbird" instead of driving around it. "Mayhem! Chaos! Bow before me, insolent wretches!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Axel screamed at the top of his lungs.
"That's it! You're never driving ag-" Disk's shout was cut off when the car rammed into a tree.
The insane driver laughed maniacally as he climbed out of the wreckage. Disk simply sighed and calmly walked away to find a bottle of asprin for his growing headache.