HEY!! I am here, tada! Life sucks, but thats usual. ha ha. Okay, so its not really funny. @.@ never mind. I am gonna go and post this, so while your reading this, you could be reading the story! SUCKS for you. ha ha... okay no I didn't just smoke a joint. lol. yea, love ya buh bye!
Thank you's:
Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor: Thank you!! They'll find out soon! *evil cackle*
Angael: Ah! You loved the Satan's slug too! At least someone finds me funny. Thank you soo very much for reviewing!
Jubilee: What a long update this was, but if you read the paragraph above you'll understand! There is more Draco in this :-) Thank you for the review!!
White Tiger: Are you still laughing? Well, prolly not now since its been a while, but it would be cool if you were. Thanks for da review! I feel special.
Slashybubble: what does he rock? Well besides beds (bad bad joke, not even funny @.@) Thank you for your reviews! Chapter 1 and 3!! I hope this story is getting better, but I'll never know...
Jube: wow! That was a big word, unique! I'm surprised I know what it means. Thank you more reviewing!!
Snouz: Well, now you can read the part with McGonagall Thanks!!
: Trust me Harry is sexy! Thank you for reviewing Anonymous person!
Sk8er Grl: So you're the mystery person. But from this chapter or last?? Thank you for reviewing anywho! (
Shadwmage7: Thank you! Evil Harry is here, have no fear. Well actually, be afraid. Be very afraid. He scares me.
LillSakura: Thank you! Don't cry now, that wouldn't be cool.
Fanny chan: Wow! It's Interesting!! I feel so, interested..? you're review was really nice. Lol! Thankyou for reviewing!!!
Fin-Phoenix: Is my story more brilliant then me? Yes, I do confuse the most simplest things. Bare with me! Thankyou for reviewing
Shades: Wow! Thank you for your reviews! Two of em! YAH! Do you not like evil harry? Ur last review confused me a lil. Sorry!!
Nanono: Were you laughing when you wrote that? It seemed like it in your review. It was soo... hyperness seeing being , ugh I can't explain. Thankyou!!
WednesdayGrammeray: Thank you!!! Cliffhangers do suck, sorry for mine. But that chapter would of taken longer to get out if I added it there, right? So it's good, in a way.
Hardy Har Har: wow! I haven't heard lmao in a while. Thank you! I feel very like a funny person now!!
Zoot and the vampire dudes: Thank you!! Would you mind telling some of my friends I'll actually have a career? They don't seem to think like you.. (
Defredecafra: wow! That's a cool name! Thank you for your review it was very nice having you review my story.
Death Lily: Thank you!! I am going to read it as soon as I got a chance. Glad you like vampire fics. You'll see the vampire side more in this chapter.
TADA! And I'm done!! THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Blah blah blah.
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4: A Sense of Humor
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
News really did spread fast around Hogwarts. As Harry was walking down to the Transfiguration room, everyone was looking at him and whispering. Apparently the Gryfindor and Slytherin fifth years had big mouths.
He grinned and waved to them.
The girls would giggle, and the boys would give him weird glances. But Harry didn't care. His mind was on getting to classes, this year he had almost every single class with the Slytherin's. More chances to see Malfoy.
He didn't know why he had a sudden feeling to annoy the hell out of Malfoy, so he blamed it on being a vampire. He started wondering what Malfoy did think of him. Shaking his head, he reminded himself he didn't care, and, if anything, he should be getting revenge on Malfoy through all Malfoy had put him through.
As he was waving to a blushing 3rd year he accidentally bumped into someone. The person fell back, Harry had held his balance.
"Watch it- Potter?!" Malfoy looked up and glared, "Figures only a clumsy oaf like you wouldn't watch were your going." He got off the floor and straightened his robes.
'Speak of the devil,' Harry thought to himself.
Harry smiled and said aloud, "Aw, but I am you're one and only clumsy oaf, aren't I?" His eyes glimmered with humor. He saw Malfoy eye's widened. Apparently so did everyone else. Harry voice quivered slightly, "You're not cheating on me are you, Draco?"
"Yes. I.. what?" Malfoy looked at him confused; did he just hear what he'd thought he heard?
More people had gathered around now, and had made a circle around them.
"I knew it! Who is it you bastard!" Harry said faking anger, he was a much better actor then he thought. "It was Pansy wasn't it? You give me the best sex of my life then go leave me for some ugly fat pig, who can't even kiss properly?!" He was shouting now. Inside he was happy, loving seeing Malfoy as flustered as he was.
Malfoy looked at him, "What..." After a few seconds Malfoy found his voice, "Potter what are you playing at?" He glared.
"Oh so it's Potter now?! What happened to Harry?" Harry walked up to him, so close their faces were almost touching. He harshly whispered, but made it audible for people closer, "Damn it Malfoy! What the fuck is this?"
Malfoy looked at him, what was Potter trying to do? He glared, if he wanted to embarrass him he'd have to do a better job, "I hardly would want to kiss scum like you, Potter."
"You weren't saying that last night." Harry smirked.
"So that's where Harry was!" Apparently Seamus had joined the circle too.
Whispers flew through the crowd.
"This is for me, you cheating bastard." Harry threw a curse at Malfoy.
The purple that had gone in Malfoys hair earlier, reappeared. He sprouted yellow ears, and bright pink whiskers. His uniform was red, and a sign was over his neck that read, "I just won an asshole award, so fuck off".
Malfoy was beyond frustrated, growling he shoved Harry into the nearest classroom.
A shout of Harry's, "No Draco, not in public!" Could be heard before Malfoy slammed the door shut.
"Do you have a death wish, Potter?" Malfoy glared.
"Come to think of it, I might. I mean look at all the enemies I have!" Harry said and grinned, "But I guess you are my favorite enemy."
"Oh and why's that?" Malfoy asked, his voice getting more venomous by the minute, his left hand gripping his wand tightly.
"Oh, I don't know probably, because you're the sexiest. Voldemort is why- didn't-my-mother-kill-me-when-she-had-the-chance ass ugly. Snape- Sure once you get all that grease off him, he's sexy. But thats alot of grease to go through. Plus, he's a prick. Pettigrews a fat prude, who's bald." Harry grinned, "But beside you being the sexiest- well not right now," Harry said mentioning the whiskers, and the other things, "You're the easiest to get a snog from."
Malfoy eyes widened as Harry pushed his lips on his. Harry's arms snaked about his waist, pulling him closer.
Malfoy shoved Harry in the chest, but Harry held on. Malfoy could feel Harry's grin on his lips, and scowled. He bit down, but only hit his own tongue, He cursed loudly, and Harry pulled away.
"Cat got your tongue?" Harry grinned.
"Shut the fuck up, Potter!" Malfoy was breathing heavily. "Now tell me what's your problem. This is the 3rd time you kissed me in 2 days! Sorry, but we are enemies, not lovers."
"On the contrar, you see once I kill Voldemort, and take over the wizarding world for myself, I'll need someone. I was thinking about Hermione, but her hearts with Ron. So, figured lone-dog Malfoy."
"I am not a dog!" Malfoy yelled, smaking Harry.
Harry grinned, "Sorry, I meant bitch." Harry strolled out of the room. He didn't mind that a bitch was a female dog. He'd be surprized if Malfoy even knew that.
Malfoy fumed, "Am not, Potter! When you're evil, I'll be the one to kill you- you hear? I will be the one to kill you!"
Draco looked at him for several minutes, wondering if what he said was true - would Harry really turn evil?. 15 minutes later Draco entered the classroom, loosing Slytherin 15 points, only to find Harry not there.
It was 30 minutes after Draco had taken his seat when Harry did come in.
"Potter! Where have you been?" McGonagall said as soon as he entered the room.
Harry took his seat, "I had to take a shower, Snape raped me- he act's like he's all big, but his wand is a lot smaller then you would think-"
Several students snickered.
"It was something you don't want to do twice; he even got the Headmaster involved. It really grossed me out, so I took a shower." Harry shuddered.
"30 points from Gryfindor, I suggest you start the assignment, turning a stick into a cat. The details are on the board." McGonagall said, her tone as strike as always.
Harry waved his hand, and BOOM the stick blew up, shards all over the place. "Oiy, McGonagall! My stick's been everywhere, even down Longbottoms pants." His words were true, a piece of the stick had drifted under Longbottoms robes, into his pants.
McGonagall brought Harry another stick, "I don't want any more disruptions in my class today, Potter." McGonagall glared.
"Yes sir, ma'am." Harry said stumbling a bit. McGonagall left. He rolled his eyes. He gathered his wand in his hands, his plan right about to go into action, and was about to say when a painful ache shot through his stomach. It was there for a minute, before it went away.
Harry pointed his wand at the stick, whispering the incantation, the stick turned into a purple condom. He said another incantation. The condom started walking around his desk. He looked at his wand, "Opps." He looked at his desk, the condom was missing.
Harry got yet another stick from McGonagall. "This is your last one Potter. I don't imagine how you're other one just upped and walked off."
"If I see it I'll be sure to tell you!" Harry grinned and looked at the stick, with a wave of his hand the stick turned into a cat. "Look McGonagall! It's you!" The cat was stiff, with ugly yellow eyes, and botched up fur.
"10 points for the disrespect, Potter!" McGonagall said, glaring.
Harry rolled his eyes, and spotted his second stick. It was on Ron's desk. Ron was busy talking to Hermione, she had turned her stick into a cat ten minutes earlier, on how to work the incantation; he didn't see the condom wrap around his stick. The cat started hissing at him, so Ron picked up the stick and whacked the cat. The cat attacked the stick and bit it. Ron was trying in vain to get the stick back, to no avail. He, being the unobserving person he was, had yet to see the condom.
Harry, deciding to tell the professor where his transfiguration had gone, grinned, "Professor! Come quick! My condom is on Ron's stick, and now it's in Hermione's pussy!"
Laughs erupted through the class. Ron and Hermione turned bright red
"Potter! 20 points from Gryffindor!" McGonagall said, "And another detention."
"But it's true!" Harry pointed to the condom, on the stick, in the cat's mouth, "See? And you told me to tell you if I've seen it..."
McGonagall glared, "That's enough out of you today. Get out of this class."
"But I've only-" Harry didn't finish his sentence because he was pulled out of the classroom by the ear and sent to Gryfindor tower.
Harry spent the rest of the day there, setting things on fire. He claimed to on lookers he was cold.
It was 2 hours later that Hermione and Ron came back.
Hermione was the first to say something, "Harry! What has gotten into you? First you get kicked out of Potions-"
Ron cut her off, "Bloody brilliant that was! Did you see Snape's face?"
"Ron! You're not helping!" Hermione said glaring.
"Shut up both of you. I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do. So, fuck off."
Hermione glared, "Fine! See if I care when you're expelled!"
"You're so naïve, you think they're going to expel me? Ha! I'd like to see them try. Bye Granger, Weasley." Harry left the dorm, fuming.
"Did he just call us..." Ron started.
"Granger and Weasley?" Hermione finished.
As Harry was taking a shower, he realized he lost ass weight. Now, more then ever, it looked bony. "Damn I wish there was such a thing called an ass mask."
He turned off the water when it hit him, now he knew what to do during DADA class.
He grinned, and had to skip breakfast in order to get everything right. His first class was Defense against the Dark Arts, the class that it would happen in.
When Harry did go to Defense Against the Dark Arts, he came in 15 minutes late with a bag in his hand, stopping Lupin in his lecture.
"Potter, do you have a note for being late?" Lupin would have smiled, if it hadn't been for the meeting held the other day about Harry himself; how he'd been missing classes, had refused to go to Dumbledore, and his attitude.
Harry grinned, "I got very important news! It's very serious, too. Dumbledore told me to tell everyone about it!"
Lupin raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"
"Well folks, you see I got some good news, and I got some bad news." Harry grinned making himself the center of attention by walking into the center of the room and getting on a desk. "The good news is, mooning is awesome; the bad news is, it's illegal. If you expose yourself 200 to 300 days like I do... Sooner or Later people are gonna start recognizing your ass. Then you're going to have serious ass disguising problem! So, folks I've got a solution! Ass mask! Buy 'em now before they sell out!" He held out a fake ass made out of rubber. "Two knuts each! Cheapest rate you can get! Go moon your Professors, they'll never know who it was! Or, if you just don't like the look of your ass. If it's to bony, to fat, whatever the problem is, an ass mask will help you!"
"I want one!" Seamus shouted. He held out 2 knuts, and Harry gave him an ass mask.
"Thank you, Finnegan. Enjoy yourself. Make sure to moon McGonagall. She's been a pain in the A." Harry said, "I mean who is she to give me a detention for something Snape did?"
"Sure will, Harry! It's payback time!" Seamus grinned and started talking about mooning McGonagall in the halls.
"Anyone else? Harry said passing out some mask to some Slytherin's and Gryfindors. History with the Hufflepuff first years had been a much better profit area. "Malfoy? None? You're pretty little ass might want to be protected you know. Don't want anyone getting pictures now... Well besides me."
"I can handle myself quite fine, Potter. I don't need you're stupid ass masks." Malfoy glared at him.
"You should work on that glare, it's not very scary. But it is sexy as hell." Harry grinned and sold a few more masks. "Thank you! I've got to go and spread the joy to the other students!"
"I don't think so, Potter. Let's go talk in my office." Lupin said grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him into the office.
"Be right back! Keep your knuts up for 5 more minutes, I swear you'll have your ass masks!" Harry said as he was pulled in the office.
"Harry! What has gotten into you?" Lupin asked sitting down in his chair.
"Have you been talking to Weasley and Granger? Cause you sound just like them! It's amazing. Did Snape violate you, too? We could start an organization!"
"Harry. This is serious." Lupin said.
"This is my godfather? You turned him into an organization? How could you!" Harry asked.
"Do you think I'm laughing? This isn't funny." Lupin said, "Now tell me what's on your mind."
"Like a consoling session?" Harry asked his voice small.
"Sort of. So let's start with four days ago. What did you do that day?" Lupin said slowly. The headmaster said the changes had begun around that time.
Harry sat down, "Well... That day I had a lot of things on my mind; who I wanted to snog, when I was going to snog 'em, how long, and other things. So I went to potions late- When it hit me! I wanted to snog Malfoy! Of course it was the little demons idea, but whatever. So after Snape violated me, that's what I did! But then, the little demons in my head told me to get into McGonagall's pants. I was grossed out and I couldn't go to Transfiguration. But then, I did and then she kicked me out! So I stayed up in my dorm plotting with the little demons! Beware of French fries!" Harry did an evil cackle.
Lupin nodded, "These little demons, do they tell you to do a lot of things?" His voice was serious.
"Oh yea! They always have an original thought! Like right now!" Harry stood up, taking off his pants, and ran out of the door yelling, "I love jelly!"
~~~~~~~~
REVIEW!!
See..? I reposted the orginal one. So be glad. The 6th chapter will be out tomorrow. Sorry for the delay. @.@
Thank you's:
Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor: Thank you!! They'll find out soon! *evil cackle*
Angael: Ah! You loved the Satan's slug too! At least someone finds me funny. Thank you soo very much for reviewing!
Jubilee: What a long update this was, but if you read the paragraph above you'll understand! There is more Draco in this :-) Thank you for the review!!
White Tiger: Are you still laughing? Well, prolly not now since its been a while, but it would be cool if you were. Thanks for da review! I feel special.
Slashybubble: what does he rock? Well besides beds (bad bad joke, not even funny @.@) Thank you for your reviews! Chapter 1 and 3!! I hope this story is getting better, but I'll never know...
Jube: wow! That was a big word, unique! I'm surprised I know what it means. Thank you more reviewing!!
Snouz: Well, now you can read the part with McGonagall Thanks!!
: Trust me Harry is sexy! Thank you for reviewing Anonymous person!
Sk8er Grl: So you're the mystery person. But from this chapter or last?? Thank you for reviewing anywho! (
Shadwmage7: Thank you! Evil Harry is here, have no fear. Well actually, be afraid. Be very afraid. He scares me.
LillSakura: Thank you! Don't cry now, that wouldn't be cool.
Fanny chan: Wow! It's Interesting!! I feel so, interested..? you're review was really nice. Lol! Thankyou for reviewing!!!
Fin-Phoenix: Is my story more brilliant then me? Yes, I do confuse the most simplest things. Bare with me! Thankyou for reviewing
Shades: Wow! Thank you for your reviews! Two of em! YAH! Do you not like evil harry? Ur last review confused me a lil. Sorry!!
Nanono: Were you laughing when you wrote that? It seemed like it in your review. It was soo... hyperness seeing being , ugh I can't explain. Thankyou!!
WednesdayGrammeray: Thank you!!! Cliffhangers do suck, sorry for mine. But that chapter would of taken longer to get out if I added it there, right? So it's good, in a way.
Hardy Har Har: wow! I haven't heard lmao in a while. Thank you! I feel very like a funny person now!!
Zoot and the vampire dudes: Thank you!! Would you mind telling some of my friends I'll actually have a career? They don't seem to think like you.. (
Defredecafra: wow! That's a cool name! Thank you for your review it was very nice having you review my story.
Death Lily: Thank you!! I am going to read it as soon as I got a chance. Glad you like vampire fics. You'll see the vampire side more in this chapter.
TADA! And I'm done!! THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Blah blah blah.
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4: A Sense of Humor
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
News really did spread fast around Hogwarts. As Harry was walking down to the Transfiguration room, everyone was looking at him and whispering. Apparently the Gryfindor and Slytherin fifth years had big mouths.
He grinned and waved to them.
The girls would giggle, and the boys would give him weird glances. But Harry didn't care. His mind was on getting to classes, this year he had almost every single class with the Slytherin's. More chances to see Malfoy.
He didn't know why he had a sudden feeling to annoy the hell out of Malfoy, so he blamed it on being a vampire. He started wondering what Malfoy did think of him. Shaking his head, he reminded himself he didn't care, and, if anything, he should be getting revenge on Malfoy through all Malfoy had put him through.
As he was waving to a blushing 3rd year he accidentally bumped into someone. The person fell back, Harry had held his balance.
"Watch it- Potter?!" Malfoy looked up and glared, "Figures only a clumsy oaf like you wouldn't watch were your going." He got off the floor and straightened his robes.
'Speak of the devil,' Harry thought to himself.
Harry smiled and said aloud, "Aw, but I am you're one and only clumsy oaf, aren't I?" His eyes glimmered with humor. He saw Malfoy eye's widened. Apparently so did everyone else. Harry voice quivered slightly, "You're not cheating on me are you, Draco?"
"Yes. I.. what?" Malfoy looked at him confused; did he just hear what he'd thought he heard?
More people had gathered around now, and had made a circle around them.
"I knew it! Who is it you bastard!" Harry said faking anger, he was a much better actor then he thought. "It was Pansy wasn't it? You give me the best sex of my life then go leave me for some ugly fat pig, who can't even kiss properly?!" He was shouting now. Inside he was happy, loving seeing Malfoy as flustered as he was.
Malfoy looked at him, "What..." After a few seconds Malfoy found his voice, "Potter what are you playing at?" He glared.
"Oh so it's Potter now?! What happened to Harry?" Harry walked up to him, so close their faces were almost touching. He harshly whispered, but made it audible for people closer, "Damn it Malfoy! What the fuck is this?"
Malfoy looked at him, what was Potter trying to do? He glared, if he wanted to embarrass him he'd have to do a better job, "I hardly would want to kiss scum like you, Potter."
"You weren't saying that last night." Harry smirked.
"So that's where Harry was!" Apparently Seamus had joined the circle too.
Whispers flew through the crowd.
"This is for me, you cheating bastard." Harry threw a curse at Malfoy.
The purple that had gone in Malfoys hair earlier, reappeared. He sprouted yellow ears, and bright pink whiskers. His uniform was red, and a sign was over his neck that read, "I just won an asshole award, so fuck off".
Malfoy was beyond frustrated, growling he shoved Harry into the nearest classroom.
A shout of Harry's, "No Draco, not in public!" Could be heard before Malfoy slammed the door shut.
"Do you have a death wish, Potter?" Malfoy glared.
"Come to think of it, I might. I mean look at all the enemies I have!" Harry said and grinned, "But I guess you are my favorite enemy."
"Oh and why's that?" Malfoy asked, his voice getting more venomous by the minute, his left hand gripping his wand tightly.
"Oh, I don't know probably, because you're the sexiest. Voldemort is why- didn't-my-mother-kill-me-when-she-had-the-chance ass ugly. Snape- Sure once you get all that grease off him, he's sexy. But thats alot of grease to go through. Plus, he's a prick. Pettigrews a fat prude, who's bald." Harry grinned, "But beside you being the sexiest- well not right now," Harry said mentioning the whiskers, and the other things, "You're the easiest to get a snog from."
Malfoy eyes widened as Harry pushed his lips on his. Harry's arms snaked about his waist, pulling him closer.
Malfoy shoved Harry in the chest, but Harry held on. Malfoy could feel Harry's grin on his lips, and scowled. He bit down, but only hit his own tongue, He cursed loudly, and Harry pulled away.
"Cat got your tongue?" Harry grinned.
"Shut the fuck up, Potter!" Malfoy was breathing heavily. "Now tell me what's your problem. This is the 3rd time you kissed me in 2 days! Sorry, but we are enemies, not lovers."
"On the contrar, you see once I kill Voldemort, and take over the wizarding world for myself, I'll need someone. I was thinking about Hermione, but her hearts with Ron. So, figured lone-dog Malfoy."
"I am not a dog!" Malfoy yelled, smaking Harry.
Harry grinned, "Sorry, I meant bitch." Harry strolled out of the room. He didn't mind that a bitch was a female dog. He'd be surprized if Malfoy even knew that.
Malfoy fumed, "Am not, Potter! When you're evil, I'll be the one to kill you- you hear? I will be the one to kill you!"
Draco looked at him for several minutes, wondering if what he said was true - would Harry really turn evil?. 15 minutes later Draco entered the classroom, loosing Slytherin 15 points, only to find Harry not there.
It was 30 minutes after Draco had taken his seat when Harry did come in.
"Potter! Where have you been?" McGonagall said as soon as he entered the room.
Harry took his seat, "I had to take a shower, Snape raped me- he act's like he's all big, but his wand is a lot smaller then you would think-"
Several students snickered.
"It was something you don't want to do twice; he even got the Headmaster involved. It really grossed me out, so I took a shower." Harry shuddered.
"30 points from Gryfindor, I suggest you start the assignment, turning a stick into a cat. The details are on the board." McGonagall said, her tone as strike as always.
Harry waved his hand, and BOOM the stick blew up, shards all over the place. "Oiy, McGonagall! My stick's been everywhere, even down Longbottoms pants." His words were true, a piece of the stick had drifted under Longbottoms robes, into his pants.
McGonagall brought Harry another stick, "I don't want any more disruptions in my class today, Potter." McGonagall glared.
"Yes sir, ma'am." Harry said stumbling a bit. McGonagall left. He rolled his eyes. He gathered his wand in his hands, his plan right about to go into action, and was about to say when a painful ache shot through his stomach. It was there for a minute, before it went away.
Harry pointed his wand at the stick, whispering the incantation, the stick turned into a purple condom. He said another incantation. The condom started walking around his desk. He looked at his wand, "Opps." He looked at his desk, the condom was missing.
Harry got yet another stick from McGonagall. "This is your last one Potter. I don't imagine how you're other one just upped and walked off."
"If I see it I'll be sure to tell you!" Harry grinned and looked at the stick, with a wave of his hand the stick turned into a cat. "Look McGonagall! It's you!" The cat was stiff, with ugly yellow eyes, and botched up fur.
"10 points for the disrespect, Potter!" McGonagall said, glaring.
Harry rolled his eyes, and spotted his second stick. It was on Ron's desk. Ron was busy talking to Hermione, she had turned her stick into a cat ten minutes earlier, on how to work the incantation; he didn't see the condom wrap around his stick. The cat started hissing at him, so Ron picked up the stick and whacked the cat. The cat attacked the stick and bit it. Ron was trying in vain to get the stick back, to no avail. He, being the unobserving person he was, had yet to see the condom.
Harry, deciding to tell the professor where his transfiguration had gone, grinned, "Professor! Come quick! My condom is on Ron's stick, and now it's in Hermione's pussy!"
Laughs erupted through the class. Ron and Hermione turned bright red
"Potter! 20 points from Gryffindor!" McGonagall said, "And another detention."
"But it's true!" Harry pointed to the condom, on the stick, in the cat's mouth, "See? And you told me to tell you if I've seen it..."
McGonagall glared, "That's enough out of you today. Get out of this class."
"But I've only-" Harry didn't finish his sentence because he was pulled out of the classroom by the ear and sent to Gryfindor tower.
Harry spent the rest of the day there, setting things on fire. He claimed to on lookers he was cold.
It was 2 hours later that Hermione and Ron came back.
Hermione was the first to say something, "Harry! What has gotten into you? First you get kicked out of Potions-"
Ron cut her off, "Bloody brilliant that was! Did you see Snape's face?"
"Ron! You're not helping!" Hermione said glaring.
"Shut up both of you. I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do. So, fuck off."
Hermione glared, "Fine! See if I care when you're expelled!"
"You're so naïve, you think they're going to expel me? Ha! I'd like to see them try. Bye Granger, Weasley." Harry left the dorm, fuming.
"Did he just call us..." Ron started.
"Granger and Weasley?" Hermione finished.
As Harry was taking a shower, he realized he lost ass weight. Now, more then ever, it looked bony. "Damn I wish there was such a thing called an ass mask."
He turned off the water when it hit him, now he knew what to do during DADA class.
He grinned, and had to skip breakfast in order to get everything right. His first class was Defense against the Dark Arts, the class that it would happen in.
When Harry did go to Defense Against the Dark Arts, he came in 15 minutes late with a bag in his hand, stopping Lupin in his lecture.
"Potter, do you have a note for being late?" Lupin would have smiled, if it hadn't been for the meeting held the other day about Harry himself; how he'd been missing classes, had refused to go to Dumbledore, and his attitude.
Harry grinned, "I got very important news! It's very serious, too. Dumbledore told me to tell everyone about it!"
Lupin raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"
"Well folks, you see I got some good news, and I got some bad news." Harry grinned making himself the center of attention by walking into the center of the room and getting on a desk. "The good news is, mooning is awesome; the bad news is, it's illegal. If you expose yourself 200 to 300 days like I do... Sooner or Later people are gonna start recognizing your ass. Then you're going to have serious ass disguising problem! So, folks I've got a solution! Ass mask! Buy 'em now before they sell out!" He held out a fake ass made out of rubber. "Two knuts each! Cheapest rate you can get! Go moon your Professors, they'll never know who it was! Or, if you just don't like the look of your ass. If it's to bony, to fat, whatever the problem is, an ass mask will help you!"
"I want one!" Seamus shouted. He held out 2 knuts, and Harry gave him an ass mask.
"Thank you, Finnegan. Enjoy yourself. Make sure to moon McGonagall. She's been a pain in the A." Harry said, "I mean who is she to give me a detention for something Snape did?"
"Sure will, Harry! It's payback time!" Seamus grinned and started talking about mooning McGonagall in the halls.
"Anyone else? Harry said passing out some mask to some Slytherin's and Gryfindors. History with the Hufflepuff first years had been a much better profit area. "Malfoy? None? You're pretty little ass might want to be protected you know. Don't want anyone getting pictures now... Well besides me."
"I can handle myself quite fine, Potter. I don't need you're stupid ass masks." Malfoy glared at him.
"You should work on that glare, it's not very scary. But it is sexy as hell." Harry grinned and sold a few more masks. "Thank you! I've got to go and spread the joy to the other students!"
"I don't think so, Potter. Let's go talk in my office." Lupin said grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him into the office.
"Be right back! Keep your knuts up for 5 more minutes, I swear you'll have your ass masks!" Harry said as he was pulled in the office.
"Harry! What has gotten into you?" Lupin asked sitting down in his chair.
"Have you been talking to Weasley and Granger? Cause you sound just like them! It's amazing. Did Snape violate you, too? We could start an organization!"
"Harry. This is serious." Lupin said.
"This is my godfather? You turned him into an organization? How could you!" Harry asked.
"Do you think I'm laughing? This isn't funny." Lupin said, "Now tell me what's on your mind."
"Like a consoling session?" Harry asked his voice small.
"Sort of. So let's start with four days ago. What did you do that day?" Lupin said slowly. The headmaster said the changes had begun around that time.
Harry sat down, "Well... That day I had a lot of things on my mind; who I wanted to snog, when I was going to snog 'em, how long, and other things. So I went to potions late- When it hit me! I wanted to snog Malfoy! Of course it was the little demons idea, but whatever. So after Snape violated me, that's what I did! But then, the little demons in my head told me to get into McGonagall's pants. I was grossed out and I couldn't go to Transfiguration. But then, I did and then she kicked me out! So I stayed up in my dorm plotting with the little demons! Beware of French fries!" Harry did an evil cackle.
Lupin nodded, "These little demons, do they tell you to do a lot of things?" His voice was serious.
"Oh yea! They always have an original thought! Like right now!" Harry stood up, taking off his pants, and ran out of the door yelling, "I love jelly!"
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REVIEW!!
See..? I reposted the orginal one. So be glad. The 6th chapter will be out tomorrow. Sorry for the delay. @.@